so i really need to go over stuff before i post it lol..

i had some kinda dream like thought on a new story.. so i wrote the first chapter sent it to my beta katie.. who told me how freaking awesome it was...so here it is for you guys..

i love when people add it to favorite stories.. but please if you have any comments or concerns please review and let me know.. even if you don't ;)

Chapter 1

You know that aggravating feeling when you can't get something right, and you have no idea how to make anything better? That's how I feel right now sitting at my job, working for my father. My father was the chief of police and I was his secretary I guess you would call it, I dispatched calls for the police cars, made sure that everyone ate lunch and I filed and filled out reports. I loved it here but at this point in time I felt more then aggravated I mean I was 22 years old and I lived in a small apartment. I barely skimmed through community college.

I glanced at the clock, soon I would have to go pick up the one person who made all worries and fears and frustration go away. I tapped my fingers on the police computers keyboard when my father Charlie walked in.

"Bells, you can go now, it's slow around here" I smiled and gathered up my things and watched him walk into his little office.

"Oh and Bells, remember Sue is cooking dinner tonight she wants you to come by" I nodded my head and blew him a kiss.

Charlie was all I had after my mom Renée pasted away. I was six at the time and Charlie was amazing till he met Sue Clearwater. I hopped into my car. I used to have this really cool old truck but Charlie said it was not fitting for me anymore and got me some dumb ford focus car. I miss my truck.

I drove to the parking lot of the preschool and sighed as I saw her strong black hair swinging back and forth on a swing. She had my nose and my chocolate orbs, but she inherited her father's hair and tanned skin. I waved at the fence before letting myself in. the teacher waved at me as I walked to the swings.

"Mommy!" her voice was so sweet that it melted all my worries away. I picked her up and she kissed my cheek and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"How was school Sophia ?" she just smiled at me and I grabbed her book bag and went to sign her out. Sophia was the perfect five year old any mother could ask for.

I buckled her into her car seat and handed her a juice box. I smiled into the rear view mirror at her. Her eyes widened as she looked at the trees as we drove down the road.

"Grandpa and Grandma want to have us for dinner"

"They want to eat us, why?" I giggled and shook my head.

"They want to have us over for dinner, does that sound like fun?" Sophia bounced in her car seat as I turned into the driveway of my old house. I noticed my stepbrother Seth was here and groaned as I let Sophia out. Last thing I needed to see was him.

"Fee wait for me," I gathered up her bag as well as mine while the little girl waited excitedly on the steps of the porch.

"Hey Bella" I smiled politely as Seth opened the door. All I know is that Seth had shitty friends.

"Hi uncle Seth" Sophia smiled up at him. He'd gotten a bit taller and was not that scrawny anymore.

I put Sophia in the living room and told her to start her color pages as I whipped my hands on my pants and headed to the sweet smell of Sues cooking. Her hair was light gray now and in a messy bun. She had a set of glasses falling off her nose as she worked. Her and Charlie had so much in common with their spouses passing away and one child each.

"Oh Bella, can you grab those for me?" I had no idea where she had pointed to but I smiled and tried to guess. "No the, umm, oh I need salt, and that bowl of garlic…" she said finally remembering what she needed. I gave a soft laugh and handed her the bowl and salt.

"What are you making?"

"Spaghetti, Seth's favorite, I'm so glad he's home."

I rolled my eyes "that makes one of us." I mumbled and she hit my arm playfully. I heard the door open and shut and Sophia yell with excitement.

"Hey beautiful" I smiled and looked at Sue.

"Emmett, what are you doing here?" I asked as I walked threw the arch of the kitchen he had Sophia in his arms and Rose was at his side.

"Oh I'm in town for some business and Rose saw Sue at the market, now give me a hug." I smiled and hugged my best friend. Emmett McCarthy has been my best friend since I could remember and he was married to Rosalie Hale, who was the best girl for this crazy man. She was like the sister I always wanted but never needed. I smiled and hugged Rose next.

"Have you seen your brother?" I asked. Emmett shook his head and followed Sophia to the living room.

"We called but who knows where Jasper is at any day or night" I gave a soft grin at Rose. Jasper was Emmett's younger brother. They were total polar opposites of one another.

Emmett was a big child at heart and was always in big brother mode, but he knew responsibility and had a good job as a lawyer, it was funny seeing the football star be in suits all the time. Jasper on the other hand was on a wild win since graduation. Days and weeks went by with out seeing him. He bounced from job to job, never sticking around for more than a month. He never had a house except for the one in town, he spent less time there than anyone.

Charlie came home soon after and we sat down at the table making more room for Emmett and Seth. Charlie asked Emmett about laws and cases that he knew about, Seth picked at his food and made little eye contact with anyone. Rose and I helped clear the table and Sue set out her famous apple pie and I took a few bites of Sophia's who made a face about so called "cooties."

"We don't have cooties, only just boys do," Rose said sitting on the other side of her. Emmett shook his head.

"I don't like boys, they are icky"

Charlie smiled. "Good, no boys ever."

"What about me, I'm a boy?"

Sophia made a no way face. "You are not a boy you are an uncle Emmy."

Emmett laughed. I was so not ready for boys in her life just yet.

"Well we should get going, fee say good bye to everyone while I get your stuff." Sophia made a face but sighed when I didn't let my face falter.

"Bye daddy, I'll see you in the morning." I kissed his cheek and hugged Sue good-bye. Seth stood at my car. Emmett and Rose waved good-bye and Rose said she would call me later.

I put Sophia in her car seat and shut her door. Seth leaned against the front fender. His big arms crossed over his chest.

"What Seth?" I asked really annoyed.

"I know you hate me, but um I saw Jake the other week" I rolled my eyes and opened my car door.

"I no longer care. Where is he?"

"Um, he's going to be in California for a few months, you know how he is" I nodded and said my good byes. I knew how Jacob could be, a royal pain in my ass.

"Princess gown!" Sophia shouted as I looked through her drawers for the retched pink night gown with princesses on it.

"I'm trying, when did you wear it last fee?"

"No remember" I sighed and got off my knees and threw open her closet, there sat the nightgown. I sighed as I picked it up and smelt it to make sure it was not dirty.

"Okay, sit up, arms up" she did as I ordered and I smiled slipping the gown over her head.

She jumped into her pink-sheeted bed and I tucked her in before pulling up a chair and opening her bedtime story book.

"Good night moon" I began.

***

I pinned my hair up nicely and made sure everything I needed was in place before went to wake up Sophia. I know my apartment is small, one bathroom, but I was home. It was where Sophia took her first step and spoke her first word. I leaned against her door way and watched her toss and turn in her bed.

It was heart breaking when she asked why all the other kids had two parents, so I made a little story about how Jacob was a very important person and traveled around the world and while he loved her very much, he had to do his job. She understood. She hardly asks about him. And I will soon go broke from buying her a gift here and there and saying its from him. I know it was wrong, but I don't think I can tell her just yet.

Jacob never once laid an eye on Sophia , he left me at the hospital. He went out to get a teddy bear and never came back. I had Emmett and Jasper who helped me get her set up, and I had Rose who taught me how to do everything.

"Come on Sophia honey get up, sweetheart" she stretched her tiny little body and I smiled. "What do you want to wear today?"

She put her finger to her chin and looked up at me. "Purple pretty dress."

I smiled and took out her half sleeved light purple dress with a fringe at the bottom. I paired it with some white slip on shoes and helped her get ready.

"Mommy poppy tart" I smiled and picked her up as we headed to the kitchen. Got her milk and her pop tart. Coffee for me and we headed out.

Everyday I drop her off its like a little piece of me goes missing. She runs over to the swings and smiles at the little golden haired girl. I wave at the teacher and head to my fathers. I can't wait to pick her up everyday.

I swung open the heavy glass door that said welcome to forks police station on them. I glanced at my desk with the yellow folders piled on them from the nightly reports. Charlie was not in yet and I threw my stuff under the desk and walked to the break room. I started some coffee and tapped the spoon on the counter.

"Nice rhythm Bella" I jumped at the sound of someone behind me. Mike Newton walked in dressed in uniform. After all these years he was still after me. So pathetic.

"You scared the shit out of me!"

He flashed that creepy grin of his and I poured a cup and went to my station preventing further conversation. Charlie walked in with Billy Black, a.k.a Jacob's father. It was hard but he never said anything unprofessional or made anyone uncomfortable. Although he never wanted to meet Vanessa.

"Hello dad. Billy." they each gave a nod in my direction and went to their desks. Work was slow as usual. I filed most of the day and left early to go to lunch with Rose. I kissed my father good bye as he took a nap at his desk. Some chief of police he was.

I drove down the road to a little restaurant and met Rose inside. She had already ordered me ice tea and a salad. I smiled and hugged my friend before sitting down.

"So, how are things?" I sighed and dug into my salad. Rose took a sip of her tea and smiled at me. Her long blond hair was in a nice curl and she wore a pair of simple jeans and t-shirt but still looked like a freaking super model.

"How's my god child?"

"She is so big, and she's amazing like you saw her last night. She wants to be a singer when she grows up, like her father." I rolled my eyes at the last part.

"Why can't you just tell her that her father is a dead beat son of a crack whore?"

I laughed and sipped on the tea.

"Because, I mean she's five years old, she'll be in kindergarten in September…when she's older… I just don't want to see her little heart broken."

"Alright fine. Mommy knows best." I nodded. Rose told me about Emmett joining a law firm in Seattle so they will be closer then Oregon now. Rose got a job at some sort of fashion group up there and only works four days a week so she will have more time to visit.

"You guys should come for dinner, I'm making mushroom ravioli tonight."

"Yummy, I'll be there at like 5-ish"

We said our good byes, paid and I went to pick up Sophia.

"Guess what Fee?" I told her as I picked her up and carried her up the stairs to the apartment.

"What mommy?"

"Uncle Emmy and Aunty Rose are coming to dinner" her eyes widened in excitement as I set her down.

"Yay!" she clapped her hands together. I smiled and asked her to help me pick up some toys so Emmett wouldn't step on them and break them. I started dinner and Sophia helped set the table.

Emmett and Rose walked through the door five minutes before five and Emmett picked up Sophia and swung her in the air. She giggled and they watched Hannah Montana while me and Rose did the cooking.

"So I picked up what you asked me to get her" I nodded and added the salt into the water.

"Bella, you need to stop doing this" I shushed her and took the teddy bear out of the bag.

"Oh Sophia, guess what came today?" I called walking from the kitchen. Fee had Emmett holding the dolls as they dressed them.

"What?" she looked from dress to dress but not at me.

"Look" her little face looked from the dresses to my arms and the gray teddy bear then back to Emmett.

"Is that from daddy?" I nodded and she jumped up and I handed it to her. She picked the card from the bear and handed it to me "Read," I already knew what it said but I humored her.

"To my Sophia , I love you, I'm sorry I can't be with you but you always will have something to hold, when I can not, be good to mommy, love dad" she smiled and gave the bear a big hug and went back to playing. Emmett sighed and shook his head at me.

We eat and talked a bit. Emmett and Rose told me they would come see me before they head to Portland and I smiled and thanked them for everything. Rose kissed Sophia's sleeping face as I put her to bed.

"You know you're a great mom, but you don't need to reassure her she's loved. He's a jerk Bella, let it go" she gave me a small kiss and Emmett gave me a hug and I walked them out.

Maybe I was foolish, maybe I believed one day he would come back and want to see his daughter, and I thought about what I would say to him every night, but I wanted her to know about her father, whether he wasn't in her life or if I had to make up something for him, she needed some kind of dad.

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