That Day… And Now
Dear Diary,
I have not been completely truthful to you all these years, funny, as it may seem, I haven't.
I have kept a secret from my friends, family, and the person that matters most, Harry Potter.
I will never forget that fateful day, when he saw me, and I saw him. His ebony, hair blowing in the wind, while his emerald eyes searched high and low for the Snitch…
I knew he liked me, it was obvious, but what I never knew, was that I liked him, loved him. Why, you ask, I don't know, I thought I was in love with Cedric Diggory, but that was just a stray path, I suppose. And, of course, it could never be, he was a brave, beautiful, Gryffindor, while I was just a smart Ravenclaw, a year ahead of him, now I see how foolish I was.
Let me give you the whole story.
Our match against Gryffindor was not at all what I had expected, I thought that we would just go on out there and stomp them out, winning the House Cup, boy was I ever wrong, I never thought that that match would change the rest of my life.
It started bad; Gryffindor was leading by eighty points, the only possible way we could win was if I could get the Snitch. To make a long story short, there was a Demetor, and it threw me off course, while Harry ended up retrieving the Snitch, that did not bother me, it was the way he looked at me, sorrow, I had never been looked at like that before after loosing a match, that is.
The days passed, but I could not shake off the feeling that Harry's look had given me. Once I thought about it, it was not just sorrow, but pity, like he felt bad for winning that way he did. If I had opened my eyes a little, I would have noticed that that look was full of love too, but not even he knew that.
After a few run-ins, we went on our ways, tending to school, and other matters, more complicated for him than me though.
I became a Prefect, and he became a hero, in everyone's eyes, except mine, he had always been.
It was upon my fifth year, his fourth when I think he realized what he had been feeling for the last year, love.
The point of the matter is that when my chance came, I crushed it, completely.
It was the annual Yule Ball, following the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, and he asked me.
I remember it like yesterday, "wangoballwime?" He asked.
"Sorry?" I said
"D'you-d'you want to go the ball with me? Asked Harry, turning red.
"Oh," I said, also turning red. "Oh Harry, I'm really sorry," and I truly meant it. "I've already said I'll go with someone else.
"Oh," said Harry. "Oh okay," he said, "no problem."
"I'm really sorry," I said again, and really, really, meant it.
"That's okay," he said.
There was an odd silence, like one of us wanted to say something, but couldn't or more truly, wouldn't.
"Yeah," said Harry, being a Gryffindor.
"Well, bye," I said, still red.
As I walk away I heard him shout:
"Who're you going with?"
Why? Why did he have to ask, I can remember thinking.
"Oh," I said, trying to not sound too blunt, "Cedric, Cedric Diggory." I said, feeling utterly heartbroken for him, and even thought I did not know it, me too.
Even now, when I think back on it, I still feel horrid, I am 210 and dieing. I hate the fact, that I had the chance to be happy, and never took it. That is why, I am writing this, and have hopes that one day, some lonely soul will read this, and take in that you should never hide your feelings. God bless all.
Love,
Cho Chang