iWas a Teenage Werewolf
Charlotte Gibson tucked an errant chunk of blonde hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear as she made the familiar left-hand turn onto the street where her son's close friends Carly Shay and Freddie Benson lived. As she drove closer and closer to the Bushwell Plaza apartment complex, she glanced over at her eldest son Gibby who sat next to her in the car, making faces and admiring his reflection in the passenger side mirror.
Fidgeting, Charlotte ran her thumb across the seam of the leather that wrapped around her car's steering wheel and turned her attention once again to her son. "Um, Gibby," she hesitated slightly, "I've told you many times I think you're awesome -"
"I know, Mom," Gibby said nonchalantly, not bothering to look up from his mirror. Gibby was used to the frequent praise of his mother and didn't feel the need to acknowledge it again this time.
"It's just that I wonder if it was wise for you to put on your werewolf costume before you actually got to Carly's apartment. Don't you think it would have made more sense to wait until you got to Carly's house before putting on your wig and make-up for tonight's webcast?"
Gibby licked a finger and smoothed down a few stray strands of hair on his massive brown sideburns. "Are you kidding, Mom? Do you know what effect this werewolf get-up has on women?" he chuckled, raising his thick eyebrows up and down several times. "I had originally planned on bussing it down here, you know, to give the young ladies of the Seattle public transportation system an opportunity to take a gander at 'teh Gibbeh.' But I obviously ended up running late and needing a ride from you."
Charlotte sighed and thumped the wheel for mild emphasis. "Well, you did sort of frighten the neighbors' kids when they saw you leaving the house like that to get in the car." She looked over at Gibby with a small frown on her face.
"Yeah, those kids dropped their hopscotch rocks and ran into their house crying like they were paid to do it," Gibby snickered loudly and slapped his thigh. "They're such freaks!"
Charlotte slowed down and put on her right turn signal to pull into the loading zone in front of Bushwell Plaza to let Gibby out. "Okay. Well, have a great show tonight. And remember to call me if you need anything while you're staying overnight at Freddie's."
Gibby removed a small knapsack filled with toiletry items and a pair of sleep pants from the backseat of the car. "Roger that, Mom. Oh," he added, "and I'll make sure not to mention your new boyfriend Michael in front of Spencer tonight."
"Uh, yes," Charlotte responded with a barely perceptible shudder. "I'd appreciate you avoiding that subject around him." Gibby and his mother gave each other a small smile and wave before she pulled her car out to merge into the heavy Seattle traffic and he headed past fearful and curious pedestrians on his way toward the Bushwell Plaza lobby.
Pushing open the glass door leading to the lobby, Gibby caught sight of the greasy slob of a doorman Lewbert Sline doing what he always did on the job - sleeping.
"'Sup, Lewbert," greeted Gibby strolling past the front desk to reach the main elevator.
Awakening with a bestial snort, Lewbert noticed Gibby's werewolf costume and started to shriek like his toes were on fire. Manically, Lewbert began pointing at Gibby, then at the door, then back at Gibby again, all the while screeching, "UhhhhaaaaAAAARGGHHuhhhaahhh! There are NO DOGS allowed in this building! You GET OUT of here! UhhhhaaaaAAAARGGHHuhhhaahhh!" Lewbert had the gravely voice of a four pack-a-day smoker, even though he never actually touched the stuff.
Gibby smiled and shook his head at Lewbert in an amused fashion, as if Gibby knew that deep down inside Lewbert's walnut-sized heart, the doorman was actually jealous of Gibby. "Dude, seriously," Gibby smirked, leaning heavily on the desk counter, "warts are totally out of fashion right now. Totally. Especially hairy ones." Pulling a small beige piece of foam from his pocket, Gibby left the object on Lewbert's desk and advised, "Moles, on the other hand, are very in. Trust me on this."
Lewbert cast his eyes down in horror at the fake mole Gibby left on the front desk's counter. "UhhhhaaaaAAAARGGHHuhhhaahhh!"
"You'll thank me later," Gibby winked as he entered the main elevator and pushed the button for floor eight.
Gibby felt the familiar lurch of the elevator upward until a soft chime told him he had reached the eighth floor. Gibby walked with unhurried steps over to the door to the Shays' apartment, which Carly often left unlocked on the days the gang did iCarly together. Opening the door, he uttered his customary salutation upon entering any room: "Gibbeh!"
Gibby eyeballed the apartment for any sign of his friends, but the only person who appeared to be there at the moment was Sam, sitting at the computer on the kitchen counter. And looking foxier than usual, he noted. Definitely. Not that he'd ever tell her that, of course. He had a special fondness for his thumbs and didn't want to run the risk of Sam breaking them again like she did the time he asked her to the junior high dance years ago.
Her hair was styled differently than normal, being braided and done up in a bun just off the top of her head. She was also wearing a pink blouse with a ruffled collar, flared knee-length pink skirt, and a white sweater. Gibby stared and wondered to himself if Carly and Freddie had finally convinced Sam to dress up as a fairy godmother for that Cinderella sketch they'd been egging her on to do on iCarly for months. Wow, he thought, what kind of bribe did Carly and Freddie have to come up with to get her to slap that get-up on? Just add a tiara and magic wand and she could be turning pumpkins into stagecoaches in no time.
Hearing him enter the apartment, Sam twirled off the stool and ran up to him with a strangely large smile on her face. "Gibby Gibson!" she squealed with uncharacteristic delight, "Is that really you?"
As the vision in pink drew near to him, Gibby could've sworn he detected a waft of watermelon-scented perfume. "Yeah, it's me," he shrugged. He knew it was a little harder to recognize him in his wolfman's costume, but he was surprised at Sam acting like she'd never seen him before. Glancing around the apartment again, he asked, "So, where's Carly and Freddie?"
"Oh," she chirped sweetly, "they're upstairs with Sam in the studio."
Gibby froze. He was sure he couldn't have heard her right. "Sorry, Carly and Freddie are with who?"
"With Sam," the pink-clad girl beamed.
"With you?" returned Gibby, pointing at her.
"With me? No, Sam."
"Wait, you're not Sam?" Gibby was thoroughly confused.
A look of realization suddenly crossed the blonde teenager's face. "No, no, no, no. You and I haven't been formally introduced yet. I am Melanie Puckett."
Gibby stepped back and scrutinized the girl approvingly. "Ah," he remarked with a lopsided grin as he shook her proffered hand gently, "it would seem that I mistook you for your chronically hot yet vicious sister."
Melanie's cheeks grew as pink as the color of her cotton candy nail polish. Gibby was pleased that Melanie managed to put two and two together and realize that he was complimenting her beauty as much as Sam's with his flirtatious comment.
"By the way," he continued smoothly, "I'm Gibby Gibson, but you can call me LL Wolf-B."
Melanie smiled shyly. "LL Wolf-B? What's that stand for?"
"Ladies Love Wolf-Boy!" he answered as he spun around and gestured for her to check out his werewolf costume. "We're doing a werewolf sketch on iCarly tonight, so that's why I'm dressed up this way."
In between giggles, Melanie explained to Gibby that she was originally scheduled to visit her family in Seattle two weeks from then, but on account of one of her cousins being granted parole early, she thought she would drop by early to celebrate. Gibby nodded at the beautiful girl with an expression on his face that read "that makes sense."
Just at that moment, Freddie came rushing down the stairs to tell them that the webcast was about to start in a few minutes. "Hey, Gib. Looks like you and Melanie have finally met. Well, we'll need both of you upstairs pronto," Freddie said breathlessly, punctuating the end of his sentence as he usually did with a smattering of Spanish.
Gibby turned to Melanie with a hopeful look in his eye. "So, are you going to be in the webshow today, too?"
"No, but Carly and Sam gave me permission to watch the show from the sidelines," Melanie replied cheerfully. "I'll be up in a jiffy - I just have to run to the ladies room for a moment."
Before leaving to go to the bathroom, Melanie placed her hand softly on Gibby's brawny shoulder and whispered, "I actually don't really need to 'go,' but I just love the liquid soap Carly and Spencer have in their washroom." Walking away, Melanie suppressed a giggle by putting her fingers to her lightly glossed lips.
Freddie walked up to Gibby, who was clearly thunderstruck at Sam's sister. "Fredward Benson," Gibby declared, "I think I love this girl!"
Freddie looked with incredulity over at his friend Gibby. "Are you kidding? What about your girlfriend Tasha? And, and what about Patrice?" Freddie stammered somewhat angrily.
"We're not exclusive."
Freddie shook his head in amazement.
"Hey, wait a minute, man," Gibby said, clapping Freddie on the shoulder. "Do you still like Melanie? I mean, you dated her once. Are you still into her?"
Freddie was quick to reassure Gibby of the contrary. "Newp, newp, newp. Melanie's all yours. I have no interest in her." Then adding with a slightly bitter smile, "Girls who host web shows seem to be more my type."
"I hear you, I really do," laughed Gibby, bumping fists with his friend. "I just really think Melanie may be, you know, The One."
"The One?" Freddie asked, his voice cracking in disbelief. "You can tell that already, from just meeting her a few minutes ago? You really think Melanie may be the one you want to marry?"
"Marry?" Gibby gasped, "well, heck no. I was saying she could be the one to help get rid of some unwanted hair on my back. See, there's this tuft of hair above my -"
"TMI, dude, TMI!" Freddie shouted, covering his ears and cutting Gibby off. "Anyway, let's not just stand around here lookin' pretty! We have a webshow to do! Andale!" Gibby then followed Freddie up the stairs to the third floor iCarly studio, assuming that the beautiful Melanie would be along shortly to watch him - er, them - from behind the scenes.
As the two boys entered the iCarly studio, they could see Carly and Sam standing in the middle of the floor, drinking bottled water and clearly itching to get the show started. "It's about time you two numbnuts showed up," Sam barked with her usual gruffness. "Freddie, you get behind that camera. And Dirty Hairy here," she said, grabbing Gibby's wrist, "you need to get your fuzzy peach backstage."
"Aye, aye, cap'n," Gibby saluted sarcastically, rolling his eyes and making his way to the back of the studio to await his cue. I can't believe Sam and Melanie are sisters, let alone twins, Gibby thought as prepared himself to get into character.
Within seconds, he could hear the sound of Freddie counting down from five to the webshow going live. Carly and Sam then began their opening bit:
CARLY: I'm Carly!
SAM: And I'm Sam!
TOGETHER: And you're watching iCarly!
SAM: The only webshow served with your choice of salad or baked potato!
CARLY: So which will it be, Sam? A healthy green salad? [Carly tosses salad in the air.]
SAM: Or how about this baked potato?
At that point, Sam picked up a large potato wrapped in tinfoil that she pretended to be hot. "Oh! Hot, hot, hot potato!" she hollered, jumping up and down and throwing the "hot" potato to Carly, who then threw it right back to Sam.
After a few seconds of these antics, Carly and Sam put the faux baked potato back on the prop table and introduced the next video. "Please enjoy this clip a viewer sent in of a girl who made a dress totally out of tortilla chips. Freddie?" Carly looked over at her technical producer.
Returning to his media cart, Freddie punched a couple of buttons on his laptop and announced, "Playback" affably to the iCarly hosts.
While the viewer-submitted video was in playback, Carly hurried into the elevator to change into her costume for the next iCarly sketch. Emerging from the elevator wearing a pink hat, denim cutoff shorts, and red bandana shirt, Carly gave Freddie the signal that he could begin the setup for the next segment.
Switching to the B cam, Freddie joked with the audience, "I don't know about you, but that last video made me want some salsa! But now, we at iCarly proudly present another pathetic play. Tonight, a new installment of The Werewolf and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought the Werewolf's Sideburns Were Squirrels." On Sam's remote, Freddie pressed the Applause button and switched back to his main camera. Freddie then turned the camera on Carly and Gibby, who were standing at a saloon counter, drinking rootbeer.
IDIOT FARM GIRL: Hiiiiiiiiii!
WEREWOLF: Leave me alone, you silly girl. Can you not see that I'm brooding?
IDIOT FARM GIRL: I like your squirrels. [touches Gibby's sideburns]
WEREWOLF: Stop that! I am a werewolf. Those are my sideburns. Leave the hair on my face alone!
IDIOT FARM GIRL: I didn't know vampires could touch squirrels. Aren't you vampires allergic to squirrels?
WEREWOLF: No, vampires are allergic to garlic, you ignorant rube. And I told you already, I am not a vampire. I am a werewolf … half-man, half-beast. I am a freak. A mutant!
IDIOT FARM GIRL: Did you get a second squirrel so that the first squirrel wouldn't get lonely?
WEREWOLF: I don't have any squirrels on my face. I'm on a mission to find out about my past, to find the person who did this to me, the person who made me a mutant! And when I do, I will finally get my revenge!
IDIOT FARM GIRL: … You're stupid.
While the werewolf sketch went on for several minutes, Gibby could see Melanie in the background behind Freddie, watching the show intently and struggling not to laugh out loud disruptively. Gibby nearly forgot his lines a couple of times, distracted as he was with Melanie's limpid blue eyes and soft blonde hair. He hoped with all his heart that he was impressing her with his hammy acting.
The sketch that felt like it was going to go on for eternity finally ended, allowing him to run up to and stand beside Melanie for the rest of the show, as his part in the webcast was now over. Together, they stood side by side, watching both pre-recorded videos and live segments Carly and Sam did for the amusement of their viewers.
Finally, it was time for Carly and Sam to sign off for another week:
SAM: Well, this concludes another episode of iCarly. I hope we all learned something very important about werewolves from this webcast.
CARLY: Now, Sam-what on earth could we have possibly learned about werewolves from this webcast?
SAM: Duh, that if you have a werewolf as a pet, for pity's sake, don't feed him garlic!
CARLY: No, Sam. It's vampires who can't eat garlic, remember?
SAM: Oh, Carls, you're so silly. Who in their right mind would ever have a vampire as a pet?
TOGETHER: BYYYYYYYYEE!
"And we're clear! Excellent show, you guys!" Freddie smiled, as he punched some buttons on his laptop, ending the iCarly transmission. Carly and Sam happily high-fived each other, then Freddie, then Gibby.
Melanie clasped her hands together and was ready with gushing praise for the iCarly crew, but Sam prevented her sister from speaking. "Okay, Melanie," Sam warned, putting up her hand in the universal "stop" position in front of Melanie's face, "before you go on and on about how fantastic the webcast was, I need to fill up my belly with some smoothies."
Sweet-tempered Melanie saw nothing wrong with that suggestion, as she was just as ravenous for food at that moment as her sister. "Oh, I love smoothies, too! Let's go over to the Groovy Smoothie right now." Everyone murmured their agreement and went downstairs to grab their coats and wallets to leave.
Gibby ran his fingers over his coarse brown sideburns and said, "Hmmm. I wonder if I should run into Spencer's bathroom and take these off before I leave. I mean, if it would creep you guys out if I wore them to the Groovy Smoothie."
Carly, Sam, and Freddie seemed ready to answer Gibby's question in the affirmative until Melanie piped up, "Oh, Gibby. Why don't you leave them on. They make you look so distinguished."
Sam cackled, "They make him look like a Neanderthal!"
Carly glanced meaningfully at both Sam and Freddie, then turned to Gibby. "You know what, Gibby? Why don't you stay for a minute here with Melanie and discuss whether or not you should kill the sideburns. We'll go ahead and meet you guys there in a few minutes." Carly grabbed Sam and Freddie by the elbows, urging, "Come on, you two. Vamoose."
"Hey, that's my line," Freddie protested while closing the door.
Alone with Melanie in the Shay apartment, Gibby ran his fingers over his sideburns again and asked, "So you really think these bad boys make me look distinguished?"
Melanie nodded emphatically while picking her feminine purse off the Shay couch. "I certainly do. Now let's get going to the Groovy Smoothie. I have a serious hankering for a Raspberry Burst smoothie."
Gibby raised his eyebrows. "I usually get a Blueberry Blast or Strawberry Splat smoothie. I've never tasted a Raspberry Burst smoothie before."
Melanie opened the door to the apartment and turned around to Gibby, putting her hands on his broad shoulders. "Who knows? Maybe you'll get a taste of a Raspberry Burst smoothie before the evening is over." Then she stood on the balls of her feet and gave Gibby the softest, briefest of kisses on his lips. She spun around, flicked a switch next to the door, and walked out into the light-filled hallway of the eighth floor of Bushwell Plaza.
Gibby stood there for a moment, savoring the huge smile that had involuntarily spread across his face. As he exited the Shay apartment, taking care to lock and close the door before he left, he uttered the one, single word that could fully describe his feelings about what just happened with Melanie seconds earlier: "GIBBEH!"