Author's Notes: This chapter was written on the prompt of the song "What Can I Do" by The Corrs. Each consecutive chapter will be written with a different song, but the story will be ongoing.

Also, I do not own and do not claim to own the songs mentioned, referenced, or Naruto. They belong to their respective owners.

Enjoy!

Also, this story will be updated once a week.

...

His smile never seemed to reach his eye anymore.

Since the war had ended not too long ago, Sakura had grown closer to her previous Sensei, seeking a bit of familiarity among the wreckage that war left Konoha in. The battles that raged on and on took many close friends and family from everyone in the village – Genma included amongst them. Sakura could only assume that this was partly the reason Kakashi hardly saw the light of day anymore.

Every now and then she would run into him at the bar or even just in the street. She would look at him with a gaze loaded with sympathy, as she felt the aching pit of loss in her stomach as well, and she figured he visited the memorial more now than he ever had, which was also part of the reason no one saw him nowadays. Sakura couldn't deny that she had gone to the memorial to spend more hours than she'd slept in the last month, sitting directly in front of it and scowling at her lively reflection when so many dead names stared back at her. Names of warriors – of loved ones.

Kakashi had always had somewhat of a shell encasing him, built up from all the losses he had endured throughout his lifetime. No one questioned why he kept to himself more often than not – except for Sakura. She had known this man since she was a young, superficial little girl and never had he acted quite this withdrawn around her before.

Now, that doesn't mean she searched him out and threatened to punch him through several walls if he didn't get out and socialize, no; she's simply been there for him whenever he has appeared out of his staggeringly sad stupor, which, as she knew, hadn't been that often.

Of course she worried about him – what friend wouldn't? The only hitch there was that, since the war, an attraction had grown toward him that no one would describe as simply friendly if she ever voiced her feelings. But she didn't care what other people thought.

She only cared whether her attraction was reciprocal.

Or not.

Sakura has told herself more times than she could count that her so-called "feelings" toward him were just fueled by sympathy and the fact that they have more in common now due to the deaths of mutual friends. However much that statement may be true, she was only using it as a lie to quash down the real truth bubbling up inside her, threatening to make her burst at the seams and tear her to shreds.

It didn't help that when she did happen upon him, he seemed to stand closer to her, seemed to appreciate her presence in a way he hadn't before. You're only imagining it, she would tell herself after a lengthy bout of castigation. And yet the thoughts and memories continued to float to the front of her mind and convince her otherwise.

In the end, Sakura knew how she felt even when she tried futilely to deny it all. It was only a small fraction of the problem for her to profess her feelings for him; most of the issue remained in his stoicism and inability to verbalize everything that had remotely anything to do with emotion. In recent days, she had attempted to subtly begin breaching the subject when she saw him, but it was no use. He may be the famous copy-nin, fearless in battle and no stranger to surprise attacks, but he could not for the life of him pick up an interested hint.

Maybe it's because he's actually ignoring you, knowing what you're saying and not replying simply due to the fact that he doesn't feel the same way and can't bear to see the heart of his former student break over a crush. Again. That voice taunted her in her dreams, turning them to roiling nightmares like black rain clouds over an unsuspecting town, and she hated it more than she hated Sasuke's cold, unfeeling black eyes.

Her problem was uncomplicated and most of it she couldn't control even if she tried. The trouble with it, however, was unmistakable. She didn't fear rejection – none of the kunoichi do. What the pinkette truly feared was that if she uttered even a single syllable pertaining to her true feelings for him that it will effectively mutilate their relationship and he would never be able to look at her the same again.

You'll be nothing but a lovesick cow, forever unsuccessful with men and pining after your Sensei. You'll love him, but he'll never love you back.

"Shut up," she muttered to herself as she traced the names of deceased friends on the slab with her reddened finger for the thousandth time. She was sitting with her knees to her chest, elbows resting on her kneecaps as she gazed at the mirror-like structure. An unwarranted sigh left her lungs as the setting sun glared from behind her toward the memorial with an intensity that burned her eyes, but she didn't get up to leave.

Soft footsteps padded in the grass nearby, but she didn't turn to see who it was. Numerous people came and went as she sat there; they deserved the quiet to mourn as well, so she never said a word.

The person belonging to the footsteps stopped just before the memorial and placed a small bouquet of flowers tied up with a white ribbon at the base of the slab.

"I'm sorry, Sakura," the nin said with a sigh.

Tenten. Ah, those flowers must be for Neji.

The pink-haired woman didn't respond, didn't move. This seemed to confuse the other girl.

"Have you not heard the news about Kakashi?" the nin tried again.

That definitely roused Sakura from her reverie.

"What news?" she replied, zeroing in on Tenten as if to hold her in place.

The girl hesitated.

"A mission came in today, one with a large sum if fulfilled, and he took it without reluctance. Many other nins who had been in the building at the time avoided eye contact with him as he received the scroll detailing what exactly he was to do."

A shuddering wave of cold washed through Sakura and her heart began to pound.

"It's an S-rank," Tenten finished.

"A suicide mission," Sakura voiced, detecting that Tenten was not going to say it.

"It appears that way," Tenten said in a concerned tone.

"Where is he now?" Sakura demanded as she stood and brushed off the seat of her shorts.

"The bar. Where else?"

"Thank you."

With a deep breath, Sakura was sprinting into town.

Minutes later she came upon the brightly lit building and entered after glancing both ways down the street in case Kakashi had just left. Instantly she spotted him at the main bar and claimed the empty seat beside him. When the bartender's eyes turned on her in question of what drink she'd have, she held up her hand, wordlessly expressing she wasn't going to have anything. Then she focused her attention on the masked man to her right.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a low voice just short of a growl.

He blinked his one exposed eye lazily at her and took another sip of the dark drink in front of him. Slowly he turned to face her, as if dreading it.

"Enjoying a drink, Sakura," he replied calmly.

"When do you leave for your mission?"

"Tomorrow morning," he said, betraying that he knew all along what she was talking about. This irked her, but she was angry with him for other more important things.

"And you weren't going to say goodbye before you left?" she pressed, knowing full well she was playing the guilt card. It didn't bother her; she'd do whatever she could to elicit some sort of emotional reaction from this stone-faced man.

"I won't be gone for long, Sakura. I'll be back soon."

"Bullshit," she said, but he had turned his head in the opposite direction. An acquaintance had come up to wish him luck on his mission and give him another drink, thus distracting him from Sakura's poorly executed interrogation. "You can't leave, Kakashi. I don't want you to do this. "

No reaction. He didn't even hear her.

Can I say nothing to make you realize that I care for you?

"I can't watch you do this to yourself," she prodded again, but no reply came. "Kakashi?"

"Hmm, yes, Sakura? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the music. It's rather loud in here tonight," he replied, still very distant. "Really I should get going. I have quite a bit to do in preparations for tomorrow. I'll see you later, all right?"

"But, Kakashi-"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"I…you can't go. I don't want you to," she muttered, suddenly flushing.

Just say it, Sakura. Maybe that will stop him in his tracks. Maybe he'll admit it to you too and he'll give the scroll back.

He smiled, his lips moving under the mask, but his eye didn't crinkle the way it did when it was genuine. His gloved hand moved into her hair to ruffle it up like he had when she was a child.

"I'll be back, Sakura. Good night."

And with that, he was gone.

Damn it, she thought. If only I could have said it, then maybe….

Putting her emotions away, she stalked out of the building and sucked in the dusky air. Her feelings burst forth past the barriers and she tried her hardest not to cry as she walked by other nins on their way to the bar.

Please, she begged the heavens, colored with deep reds and oranges as the sun faded away to black. Please don't take another one away from me. Don't let him die. Don't let someone else I love die like the others did. Please.

She feared so much for his life that it kept her up the entire night. She couldn't help thinking of what he was doing right in that moment, whether he was blissfully asleep in bed or wide awake, contemplating his reasons for taking the mission in the first place.

Was it really like she had initially thought? Did he take the mission just to be killed in combat so he didn't have to dirty his hands with the work himself? He had too keen a sense of self-preservation to commit suicide willingly, but she couldn't help but believe that he could let himself be killed in battle, to die the death of a ninja without a single qualm.

The fact that he might have even considered suicide made her heart hurt far more than his taking the mission did. Had the war really left him so broken, so wounded that he felt it wasn't worth it to continue on in this world if death was the only thing surrounding him? He was in more pain than he'd ever let on; instead of confessing his struggles he'd rather off himself and be done with it all.

Kakashi…I won't let you go out of this world not knowing that someone loves you – that people care about you. You have to know.

By that time it was four in the morning. Quickly, she made her decision.

She wasn't going to let him walk out of the village without confessing her feelings for him in hopes that it would change his mind about the mission.

About living.

Sakura donned her day clothes and strapped on her boots, determined to march right over to his house and wrestle him to the floor if she had to in order to make him listen. The sun wasn't due to come up for a little while yet, so she had to cross the village quietly and by streetlight.

She arrived at his front door in no time at all, sitting down on the small steps that led up to it. She couldn't muster up the courage to wake him then and there, as much of it had fled while she walked, so she decided to wait until he tripped over her coming out the door. Absently she began to wonder when he'd awaken for the day.

It wasn't until the door opened and he said her name that she realized she had fallen asleep. She shot straight to her feet and rubbed the blurriness from her eyes.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?" he asked smoothly, locking the door behind him. One look at his eye told her he had not slept a wink that night. He had a pack slung over his shoulder and his hip pouches were nearly bursting with weapons and supplies. He was traveling suspiciously light for someone going on such a highly ranked mission.

"You can't go on this mission, Kakashi," she said, clearing the gummy feeling from her throat.

"Why not?" he asked lightly.

"I just…I don't want you to go. I don't like it."

"Sakura, I'm free to do what I want."

"It's not like that," she sputtered. "You can do what you want, but you can't just…I won't…"

"Sakura?"

"I won't let you go on this mission just to get yourself killed!" she shouted finally.

He sighed. It was a reaction, albeit a very pitiful one, and it left Sakura reeling with his lack of concern.

What can I say to make you feel this, Kakashi? What can I do to make you care, about yourself and about staying alive? About me?

"There's nothing for me here anymore, Sakura," he replied in a low voice. It sounded defeated, like he had completely surrendered.

No.

What can I say, Kakashi? What will make you stay? What will make you realize my feelings for you?

Sakura, stung by his words, couldn't help but think that he didn't feel she was worth sticking around for. Her hands began to shake as a bitter anger gripped her heart.

"You can't just leave," she repeated forcefully.

"Why, Sakura? Why can't I just leave?" he demanded, his words suddenly dipped in acid.

"Because you'll get yourself killed and leave me all alone like Ino did!" she spat in fury. Hot tears burned the corners of her eyes and the tremors rolling through her body increased, but she kept it all contained as well as she could.

For a breath-long moment, Sakura witnessed a flutter of surprise interrupt Kakashi's usual vacant expression. He was taken aback by her exclamation because she rarely spoke of her fallen best friend anymore, just like Kakashi never spoke of Genma. Just for a sweet second, Kakashi's eye flashed, vulnerable, and with a small look he told her he was sorry through his single dark iris. Then, like the tripped spring on a mousetrap, he boxed his emotions up again.

"I don't want you to leave," she murmured pitifully.

Say it, damn it. SAY IT.

He placed his hands in his pockets, his pack shifting across his shoulder blades, and made to turn and walk away.

"It's too late, Sakura. You've already delayed me enough. I need to go."

Rain spattered her forehead and boots dismally.

"Kakashi! You can't just run away and hope this solves your problems! I know it hurts to miss all those people, our friends, but it's easier if you share your pain with someone!" she yelled, cutting straight at him through the chilly drizzle.

Without acknowledgement, he continued to walk away from her. The rain came down from the gray sky like bullets and she could almost feel them all piercing her heart.

Is there nothing more for you to say, Sakura?