Between the Storms
After Natasha rang off with Ivan, she walked slowly back to the bathroom as if in a trance and slid down onto the carpet by the tub.
Every sound carried with it an echo that she barely paid attention to and even the constant drip of the faucet seemed loud in her ears. The light dimmed and grew brighter every few seconds and to her eyes that were more than twenty/twenty vision, it seemed far too bright and the contrast far too dark.
Suddenly, she was aware of everything and every sound, the drip of the faucet in the tub, the squeak of the fan in her bedroom the slight breeze from the air conditioning vents.
Is this how it starts out? She wondered to herself. When you realize you're pregnant, do you suddenly become more aware of everything?
She had never heard of that happening before and her mother wasn't around to ask. Ivan never talked about his wife and she had been the only child they had ever had.
But there was a life growing inside of her, a teeny tiny life that she had had a hand in helping to create. Something that might have her eyes, her build, her hair.
The red head wondered absently if it would be a boy or a girl.
Thinking thoughts like that only affirmed that she couldn't end the pregnancy. She had just asked Ivan for help in getting out of the country, something she had never thought she would have to do.
God knew Thor wasn't around to ask for help.
Thor….Natasha wondered what he would do if he found out she was carrying his child. Because of course it was his, there was no way it could be anyone elses. Ratio had said that the fetus was showing abnormal signs of growth and that probably had something to do with the fact that its father was a god.
She glanced down at her stomach, and tentatively raised the hemline of her shirt and placed her hand on the flat hard skin.
As might be expected there were no hard bumps or even a forming lump to indicate that there was growth going on. The skin felt as taut and smooth as it had ever been with the familiar ridges of her abs underneath her clear skin.
It did feel a little warmer than usual though.
Natasha frowned and glanced down at her abdomen before placing both her hands on top of it and feeling carefully.
It was true, the temperature of her stomach was different than that of the rest of her body if feeling her head way any indication.
At the subtle but no less profound sign of life, Natasha gave a choked gasp and could feel a lump gathering in her throat again.
She knew that this time tomorrow, she might feel differently again. But for right now, she was just going to sit there, on the bathroom floor and keep her hands on her stomach and take in the signs of life that she was feeling from the fetus.
No…..the baby.
No…her baby.
Ω
The first time Natasha felt the baby kick was a bit of a surprising time for her.
It was a few months after Ivan had settled her in at Number 5 in Little Whinging in Surrey and she and Petunia had made a good connection and were fast on their way to becoming friends. Along with the Barlow's Natasha was beginning to feel that life was taking on a normal routine again. It was a new and different sort of normal, but it was still quiet none the less. And she found she was liking that.
Natasha was feeling a little bit more comfortable with the idea of having a baby, even though she would be having it alone. She had come from the doctor's office a few days' ago and he had told her that she could expect to deliver in early September.
An autumn baby.
Natasha's own birthday had been in October as well and she was looking forward to having that in common with her child.
She still hadn't completely decided what she was going to do when the baby was born. It was becoming increasingly clear that she couldn't go back to Russia though. They were liable to demand answers and when she wouldn't give them, they would either kill her or go looking for them themselves.
Either way, no matter what she decided to do, her time in Russia was over, for both her and this baby.
Russia was a tough place. Only the strong survived there, and she had been grooming herself to be part of that elite since was eight years old.
Natasha had a lot of experience in being tough. It was how she had survived, and this baby was going to have to be tough to survive.
Taking a deep breath, Natasha slowly got herself up and walked…..waddled it felt like…..out to the backyard where she sat down in one of the deck chairs with a glass of lemonade, trying to remember when things had gotten so screwy.
She and Thor had gone on that trip to America in November where they coincidentally had….relations for lack of a more clinical term. It wasn't until January when Natasha first discovered something was wrong, called Ivan and had taken off for Great Britain.
"I wish you could give me some advice little girl," she whispered quietly. "I wonder what you would say to me if you were here. You'd probably want me to keep you, and I'd like nothing better too, but you deserve better than me."
She absently ran a hand along her slowly swelling stomach.
"You didn't ask for this, neither did I. But this is the situation as it stands, and we need to make the best of it. I didn't ask to be a mother, you didn't ask to have me as one. We were both duped into this. Damn your father."
She paused and kept rubbing her stomach. It felt odd to be this vulnerable and it wasn't a feeling she necessarily liked.
How did women do this for nine straight months?
It had only been five for her and already she felt like she was about to crawl out of her skin. She hated being pregnant. That wasn't the baby's fault, it was no one's but she hated the swelling feet and the shifting center of gravity and how unbalanced she felt all the time. She hated having to constantly lie on her back or how sore her back felt after walking around or being on her feet all day.
It's just a side effect, she chanted to herself. If you were a regular woman with regular genes, it would be ten times worse! Count yourself lucky!
Of yeah, she was feeling like a regular four leaf clover.
"Well," she said looking down at her stomach again. "I bet you're pretty comfortable in there. It's nice and warm…..it's quiet….its soft. There's a constant supply of food and you get to roll around like a trapeze artist and go swimming. I bet that's fun."
She smiled down at her belly which was still quite warm and had maintained a near fever temperature since she had first learned she was pregnant.
Dr. Radcliffe had run a few tests on the unusual temperature, but had said that the baby was fine. It was just one of those phenomenon's that couldn't be explained.
But Natasha knew the explanation for it.
This little girl was part god and so her vitality was much higher than that of an actual human. Her blood ran hotter and her heart beat faster, she grew more rapidly and Natasha had an odd feeling that her baby would be born a little bit early.
As she sat there, the more relaxed she began to feel and she leaned back in the chair and let the warm may sunshine glow down upon her.
But there was still that underlying question of what she was going to do in four months when the baby was born.
She knew that the Barlow's had wanted children if her conversation with Amelia the week before was any indication. If she ultimately did decide to give this child, this little girl up for adoption, they were exactly the sort of parents she would want to give this child to. They both had good jobs and were financially stable. They were sweet and loving and kind and intelligent and they would be the best option for her child that she could think of.
But the thought of giving this little girl up…..it caused a sick feeling to roil in the depths of her stomach and she almost felt nauseous.
It would seem that the baby wasn't a fan of the idea either.
She glanced down at her stomach. "I know you're not a fan of being separated. If I'm being honest, I'm not either. But what's our only other option? I can't raise you by myself can I?"
Instantly she thought of how ridiculous that sounded and grimaced. Romanov, you're an espionage agent who stole military secrets, killed international criminals and spoke over a dozen languages. Surely raising a baby can't be as hard as all that!
"But that's not the point!" she burst out.
Great, now she was talking to herself.
"I'm not a mother," she continued, this time whispering. "You could do so much better. And I'm afraid you won't want me when you see what I do for a living. You're my little girl, but you should be someone else's, someone who deserves you more than me. I've done nothing to merit this. You're a treasure, every child is, and you should go to someone who can value you as much as you deserve. I don't have it in me to care about you the way you should be cared about. I mean, would you want to stay with me after seeing what I did for a living?"
And then something strange happened.
Natasha felt a sudden jerk in her lower abdomen. She looked down in alarm, but could see nothing out of the ordinary.
Thinking it was just her imagination, she sat back again and was preparing to relax when all of a sudden, the jerk came again.
Thinking something was wrong, she looked down at her stomach and was shocked to see a sudden force knocking against the lower outer wall of her belly.
That could only mean one thing.
The baby was kicking.
Natasha thought about what she had said before this happened and her eyes widened in shock and to her undying shame she could feel the sting gathering at the edge of them.
"Do you want to stay with me?" she asked shakily.
And then plain as day, she could feel the jerk in her lower abdomen which could only be the sign of the baby kicking.
The red head let out a choked laugh. "Well then since you've made up your mind…..I guess I have too."
And that was the day when Natasha began to seriously consider keeping her daughter.
Ω
Okay, she had been through a lot of different types of pain before.
Injection pain.
Broken bone pain.
Torn ligaments pain.
Dislocated shoulder and knee pain.
Deep laceration and bruising pain.
You get the idea.
But nothing had prepared Natasha for the pain of labor and giving birth. As it was, she was amazed that she hadn't once opened her mouth to scream like she had expected when the pain hit.
If she wasn't searing everywhere, she would have laughed at the hilarious look on Thor's face. The god of lightning and storms, almost looked panicked, as if he had no clue what to do. He was biting the edge of his lower lip with such gusto that she was a little afraid he was going to bite clean through it. His arms were folded over his broad chest and he was tapping his foot with the precision of a metronome. His deep blue eyes were trained on her like shot gun barrels and he looked ready to jump into action at any moment.
Except this time, there wasn't really a fight that needed jumping into.
When the contraction ceased, Natasha let out a deep sigh of relief from the pit of her stomach and sank back onto the pillow.
"You're almost there Mrs. Granger," Dr. Radcliffe said. "You're contractions need to just be a little closer together and then we can induce labor."
His pager went off and he darted out of the room, promising to be back in a few minutes.
Even though the contraction was over for the time being, he still hadn't moved his position of sentry from beside her bed.
"Hey," she said and he blinked as if surprised that she had pulled him from whatever he was currently in. "What?"
She smirked at him. "You look like you're about to jump out your skin. You can't do that. I need you to be the one who holds it together. I'm having your kid after all."
The blonde stared at her for a moment before a gentle smile came over his lips which lit his whole face like sunshine.
He leaned down and gently took hold of her hand.
"This is very new for me," he rumbled softly.
"Oh, and I've done this like three or four times," she said with a touch of sardonic irony.
His smile widened. "Forgive me, perhaps I'm simply nervous."
"I am too," she said a bit more seriously. "But we're both here right now, there aren't any more loose ends to tie up. Everyone who should be here, is here."
He threaded his fingers through hers. "The birthing process is very different on Asgard. Perhaps the variances will take some time in getting used to."
"What's it like there?" Natasha asked curiously. She wanted something to take her mind off the coming contraction.
"Only the women are allowed in the room," he said slowly. "And the males wait outside and place wagers on what the sex of the baby will be."
"No!"
He laughed at her incredulous expression, a deep rumbling sound that she absolutely loved to hear but would never admit. "It's true, the sex of the child cannot be known until the child has arrived. It is bad luck."
"That's practically archaic," she muttered as she leaned back on the pillow. "And you went along with this?"
"I have never had to do this before," he reminded her gently. "This is my first child remember?"
She nodded, surprised that she was feeling so relaxed. The contraction hadn't come yet and she was just enjoying talking with him.
"So if the birthing tradition on Asgard is so archaic, what are the rest of the traditions like?"
He rubbed the side of his face wryly. There are many, but I won't deign to go into them now. The child will be here in a few minutes."
When she raised an eyebrow at him, he sighed. "Very well, when there is an appropriate time, I will tell you all about Asgard and the varying traditions that make our realm great."
"I'm going to hold you to that."
And then the next contraction hit, and Natasha who was still holding his hand, let out a strangled growl that had the doctors swarming the room.
If he had been a normal man, he probably would have tried to wriggle his hand out of her death grip. But he wasn't.
And for once, Thor didn't seem to mind.
Ω
"You can hold her you know?"
Thor glanced up from his place on the chair at the side of the hospital bed. "I beg your pardon?"
Natasha raised an eyebrow, but asked the question again. "I said, you can hold her if you want to. You've staring at her for the past fifteen minutes."
As it turns out, even gods are not immune to the lovely innocence of a newborn.
"She seems quite comfortable where she is," he reasoned carefully and this time both of Natasha's eyebrows went up. She sat up in bed and repositioned their daughter in her blanket before turning to the blonde. "Hold her."
"I really don't think – "
"Thor, you need to hold her."
At the tone in her voice, he knew he was fighting a losing battle.
It wasn't like he didn't want to. Everything inside of him was screaming at him to take this little girl in his arms…..his daughter.
Another small part of him was afraid. She was little and helpless…..what if he dropped her and broke her? He was also worried about the connection that was sure to come from this.
If he held her in his arms, and looked into her big blue green eyes…..the world would forever change from that point on. A part of him, even though he couldn't always be on Midgard, would forever belong to this little girl…..Hermione.
Natasha must have seen the look in his eyes, but she didn't back down and held the newborn out to him.
"She's your daughter too," she said softly.
The handsome blonde bit the inside of his mouth and looked at the little girl for a moment.
Her eyes were open and she was looking at him with those big eyes of hers that were shockingly vibrant. They were the most god like thing about her. Any other aspect, she could have passed for a human, but it was those irises that would give her away as being something very unique and special.
So it was, with some trepidation that he reached out, and took his daughter from Natasha.
As soon as he had nestled against his chest, holding her the way Natasha had done, with one hand behind her head and the other supporting her back, he felt it.
Looking at him, Natasha etched the memory of his expression when he held their daughter for the first time into her memory forever.
It was one of the complete wonderment, as if he was beholding something he had never seen before, something utterly unique and beautiful that if one were to talk about it, the words would spoil it.
"She's perfect," he murmured in that low deep voice of his that had always an unconscious shiver through Natasha.
"She is," the red head whispered as she lowered the bar on the side of the bed so she could shift over closer to him.
Thor lowered Hermione slightly so that they could both see her, and as they looked into their daughter's face, her eyes opened wide at the sight of them.
And even though she couldn't smile yet, Natasha could practically see the sparkle in her eyes.
"Did you see that?" she whispered.
"I did," Thor said back quietly. "It's like she knows us already."
In that moment, Natasha thought back on the person she had been when she found out that she was pregnant, the ridiculous teary mess she had been reduced to and all the things she had thought about doing.
Running, hiding, giving the baby up for adoption.
It had all been a night mare. She had just wanted it to end, to go back to being normal again.
But as she looked on the scene before her, at the two people in her life who were rapidly taking the place of the most important individuals she had ever known, all of that didn't seem to matter anymore.
Because sure, they were unconventional, unorthodox, bizarre and out of the ordinary.
He was a god, she was an espionage agent, and their daughter was somewhat of a cross between the two, capped with magical abilities.
But as strange as they were…..they were hers, and Natasha didn't have to flee the country to make a decision anymore.
They were hers, she wasn't planning on giving them up for anything.
Besides…..no one would ever know what she was thinking anyway.
Ω
Consider this an early Valentines day present. Hopefully it'll tide you over to the next chapter. Enjoy!