Fall Into Sleep
Prologue
"Oh, my aching head. What...happened?" I asked myself as I slowly opened my eyes. For a moment, I couldn't tell what was real, what was a dream, or even where I was. As my mind started to take in my surroundings, one thing was a reality, I was alone. There was nobody around to keep me company, just the machines that were keeping me...alive? What happened? How did I end up here? Where was here?
Had I really fought Robin? Did he really attack me? Or did I attack him? My memory was too fuzzy that the details were unclear. After a minute or so, all I could confirm was that Dick and me really did fight.
At first I thought that it had been years since the Titans broke up. Years since I've last heard Dick call "Titans go!" Years since I've seen either Raven or Kori. When I had left, we simply had no motivation to stay together, no drive to remain a team. Before I finally quit, I ended up getting into that fight with Dick, and the outcome of our match was a bit questionable. Neither of us won, but it was pretty obvious that both of us lost a lot.
By the way, if you haven't already guessed, my name is Garfield Logan; but you can call me Gar.
Now I really can't remember much more then that. All the things that came after that fight don't seem real. I close my eyes once more. It's like it's all been a bad dream, a nightmare that I can't seen to wake up from. As I slowly open my eyes again and take in what was around me, I force myself to believe that I never left the tower. That I'm still in the med bay; still in a sixteen year old body, I think, and still a Teen Titan, maybe. It's just like a corny movie and I've dreamt my life away.
"Well," I think to myself, "this isn't real and its time to get up."
But that's easier said, or rather thought, than done. I just can't move. Not one part of me will budge. My eyes can shift back and forth but nothing more then that.
"This sucks," my voice sounds like a whisper and it's surprisingly deeper. And as my eyes adjust to see the wall clock, I see that it's "9:50 am". A calendar below that makes me say two things, "Holy shit!" since I couldn't believe my eyes. "September 15th, 2010? I've been asleep for 5 years!" That's one, the other thought, "My life is pretty much over at this point."
I slowly turned my head and gravity did the rest. I looked over next to me and there was an open door. Outside, people walked back and forth. My first thought was, "What the fuck? When did the tower become a hospital for normal people?" But it was pretty apparent that I wasn't in the tower anymore. I was in a hospital and those people were nurses, doctors, patients, and visitors. Still, I was alone; without my friends or anyone I knew. Alone, confused, and upset. Had they ever even come to visit me? Had they just brought me here to get rid of me? Were they even alive? Did they even remember me? These questions were like a plague in my brain. I'm now 21 years old but I'm still frightened like a small child.
As I lay there a nurse comes in and makes no effort to look at me. Feeling the need for attention, I call for it. "Hey…" She nearly jumps out of her skin. She looked all around as if a ghost said the word.
"Who's there?" she asks.
"Me… down here," my weak voice barely comes out.
"Oh! Mr. Logan! You're finally awake!"
"Naw, really," I sarcastically think. "Yeah, just a few minutes ago."
She nods with enthusiasm before speaking. "I must tell the doctor," Without an "excuse me," she runs out; leaving me alone again.
I slowly gather the strength to move my head up. And as I stare blankly at the ceiling, I start to see the faces of the people that mean so much to me. My family, all my family, comes to me. My large family of my parents, friends, and teammates all have one thing in common, they're all gone. Nobody that's really important is involved with my life anymore.
Sighing to myself, I close my eyes again and think of how I'm going to function and how I got here. I'm so close to sleep, so tired that I start drifting off. But I'm completely awakened by quick, heavy steps from the hallway by my room. Those steps are only amplified by my acute hearing. Those same steps were heard every day back in Titan's Tower. There is just one person that it could come from…
"Dr. Stone! Slow down!" the nurse calls.
"Fuck that! He's awake!" my old friend replied.
My eyes are as wide as dinner plates as the voice of my best friend fills the hospital. The six foot eight man runs into my room and smiles warmly.
"Hey B," He says.
"Hey dude," I weakly reply. "Any calls while I was out?"
He chuckles and sits in a chair by my bed. He looks completely abnormal, or normal, either way you want to view it. His dress clothes and lab coat are something I've never seen him wear before. On his hands are two rings, his "normal" appearance is a hologram; only his clothes are real.
"How do you feel?"
"Like shit or worse…what happened to me?"
His expression saddens. "Well… what do you remember?"
"A fight then… I think I was dreaming or something. I'm not sure what's what but I'm pretty sure a fight with Dick. I think that was about five years ago, right?"
My cybernetic friend nods, both to my question and to what I say about what I am able to remember. His face has aged a bit and the lines on his face are more noticeable from years of stress. Next to the middle finger on his left hand is a third ring. This one is of solid gold, a wedding band. It gives me great joy to know that he not only found someone but married them as well. However, that soon makes me think of my situation and how I'll probably never have what he does.
After a little while of thinking it all out, he speaks again. "Well, to get on down to it… Dick knew he couldn't win fairly and so he used an explosive disk."
Weakly, I nod. Instead of anger filling me, sadness was in its place. My leader, my so-called friend, tried to kill me. It shows just how much some people really care. It makes me feel even worse about my existence. He could've asked me to stop or stop himself but instead he would risk killing me to prove a point, to try and show that he's better than me.
"He tried to make it up to you…" Victor says to me.
"Make it up to me? Can he give me those years of my life back! Can he Vic? That's the only way he can make it up to me…" My words are slow, jumbled, and stuttered. My vocal cords, tongue, and lips are out of practice. Victor is silent. He doesn't know what to say and neither do I, so I choose something random.
"Looks like five years can make you use all of your vocabulary, huh?"
He chuckles softly and nods "Yeah"
"So," I started, "How's Robin?"
"Uh… which one?" Vic asked for clarification.
"What do you mean 'which one'?"
"Well, there've been three others. Another guy, a girl, then another guy"
"Then who's Dick now?"
"He goes by Nightwing."
I nodded and remembered the time Kori went into that possible future. I hoped Dick had matured some and wasn't so obsessive, but something told me that was too much to ask for.
"What about the girls?" I asked.
"What about us?" said a monotone voice with a bit of happiness.
My view switched to the direction of the voice when a tall orange skinned woman flew over and hugged me.
"Friend Garfield!"
I was being squeezed to death lovingly by the beautiful alien princess, Koriand'r; better known as Starfire. As my green skin started to become blue, Raven came to my aid.
"Kori, please! No need to kill him!" Raven pulled on the young woman's shoulders and caused Kori to sit up and straddle my lap.
"Oh, sorry Love Raven," she said calming greatly before kissing the dark sorceress softly.
As I watched this, it seemed as though my eyeballs would break their sockets. Two women I love, one on my lap and kissing each other. At this point Vic cleared his throat as spoke with authority.
"Ladies, please, this is a hospital…"
"Sorry," the Goth woman said with a sheepish smile and a blush.
"Many apologies friends," the Tameranian said as she got off me and stood next to her girlfriend.
"Um, it's ok Kori," my eyes still didn't recover. "So, what are you two doing here?"
Raven sat down and Kori sat in her lap while taking the dark woman's hand in hers. "Love Raven and I come to visit you ever day."
"It's our little ritual," Rae added.
I looked at the two, so much in love. Vic was too, obviously. It made me feel totally incomplete. Even though it was probably going to make me feel worse, I had to know what went on while I was unconscious. "So… how'd you two get together?
Kori smiled, closed her eyes, and laid her head on Raven's shoulder while Raven proceeded to run her fingers through her girlfriend's long hair.
"Truthfully," the sorceress said, "I'm not fully sure. It was some time after you went into your coma. We just began to be together more and help each other."
"Mmm, yes," the Tamaranian agreed. "Soon, a glorious love blossomed."
I smiled and nodded the best my neck muscles would allow, but inside, part of me wish they didn't get together, a selfish part that I quickly suppressed. They deserve each other. No question about that.
"What about Dick?" I asked the princess.
Instantly, her eyes opened and glowed with rage. Obscenities poured from her mouth in her native language as she remembered the former Robin. Raven held her love tightly and stroked her hair to soothe her and whispered into her ear, "It's ok… it's alright Kori…"
Raven looked at me with her violet eyes and said, "To put it bluntly, he can go fuck himself. We don't care if he lives or dies really."
"I see. Sorry to bring it up."
"It is alright, friend," Koriand'r said in a soft voice. "I simply do not wish to think of the, what is it? Yes, an asshole."
I chuckled and smiled a bit. After a pause, I then turned my view to my cybernetic friend. "So, Dr. Stone, who's the lucky lady?"
The tall doctor smiled and looked at his ring before returning his plain of view to me. "Jinx," He stated with a wider smile.
"Not much of a surprise to me…"
"Why's that?" the good doctor asked.
I simply shrugged a little and said, "Just isn't..."
"Something to do with your 'dream?"
"Yeah… something like that..." As if on cue, someone seemed to want to take me from my friends again. I was too weak to go on. My eyes slowly closed and I drifted in between sleep and consciousness, still awake yet resting.
"Is something wrong with Friend Garfield?" The princess asked.
"No, we've taken a lot out of him. He has a while to fully recover," Victor's voice was clear and very audible. His studies and profession must have done that for him.
"Still," the dark lady said, "the world has changed quite a bit in five years. He's going to need a lot of help to recuperate."
"A place to reside as well," Kori added.
Listening as my body started to recover, I wondered what they might have in mind.
After I left the hospital, where was I going to go? Were Kori and Raven offering me a place to stay? Or was that all just wishful thinking on my part? Yeah, that must be it. Why would they want me to be in their home? What could I offer them? What kind of payment for their generosity was even possible? My trust fund was probably all gone by now. I have nothing to give as a token of my gratitude.
"I think that's a very nice thing for y'all to do," Victor said, I assumed with a smile on his face. "Even after he's released, he still has to go through rehab."
"Then we shall aid with that as well," the Princess said with an energetic voice.
"It's settled," the dark young woman, Raven, spoke, "He'll stay with us after this."
I would have smiled if I had the energy but I was not granted it. This would be a terrific moment for me if the situation was a bit different. But the number of different outcomes was practically endless. If I wasn't like this, would I still hide under a façade of idiocy or would I show what my parents and the zoology books in my room gave me? Those traits, I hid them so well. I did crazy things for one reason, to be accepted and to stand out so I wouldn't be shunned. If I let on my actual intelligence, would they still treat me like they are and have? So many questions, but no answers, only speculation.
As my mind juggled these thoughts and theories, I slowly felt sleep come over me fully. It was soothing but fearful. Would I wake up this time? Would I be passed by the world once more? Would I wake up again? I stressed over this while the comfort of sleep drew me closer to unconsciousness. All the sounds and voices of my friends faded and my eyes shut tightly. I could only hear my own steady breathing and the beating of my own heart. "Would this be the last time it would beat?" I asked myself in thought. "Is this it?" Another thought came to me before all was quiet and peaceful, "Garfield, you think too much sometimes…"
Chapter 1
Slowly opening his eyes, Beast Boy groaned as he weakly put a hand to his forehead. Being in a coma for so long, it didn't seem to matter how much rest he got. He was still tired from expending any energy. How was he ever going to get out of bed? How was he going to ever walk again? Move around the room again? Feed himself once more? If simply moving his arm and breathing were such labored movements, did he even want to try to do anything anymore?
"Yes," the changeling thought to himself, "I don't want to be here any longer then I have to. I need to get up. I need to be me again." But as he thought that through, the past came back to him. Why be his old self again when so much time had past? There was no reason that he should try to be a sixteen year old kid when he was twenty-one. He wasn't supposed to play around anymore. Those days might have been stolen from him, but if what Raven and Starfire had said was true, and that they hadn't gone back and reconsidered their first decision, he had to be grown up. He had to show that he was smarter then he let the others know; that he was more focused then he let the others believe, and that his perception of life had been significantly watered down for the sake of fitting in.
Coughing, the green former titan, as he considered himself to be now that so much time had past, put his hand back to his side and turned his head to see the clock, "12:00 am." Taking a breath and knowing that there was no way that he was going to get back to sleep anytime soon, the shape shifter listened to the machines as they beeped and monitored his heart and other vital signs. And even if it was comforting to know that he was very much alive, thoughts of being a burden to the Tameranian and Azarathian women began to trouble him.
But right now, he could hardly even move a muscle. And if those two beautiful women were as successful as they appeared, how could they waste their precious time for each other with him? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair that two lovers had to break away from their intimacy for his sake. If only he could take care of himself, get a job, and just be allowed to visit every now and then, that would be enough to know they still wanted to see him even after they knew he was alright.
"You're awake?" a nurse on the nightshift said as she walked by.
"Yeah, I guess I am," Beast Boy said with his voice a bit raspy.
"I'll get you some water," the woman said as she started to walk off.
"Thanks," the changeling called after her.
"Just doing my job."
Job, the word seemed so much more potent knowing that he needed one. Maybe getting work as a grunt laborer he could make a little extra cash and pay some rent. What was the going rate anyways? Would he be able to make enough when he didn't have an experience in anything other then playing videogames and fighting crime? He had the smarts but not much more then that. Unlike Richard, he didn't have anyone that he could ask for money. Unlike Victor, he didn't have the professional schooling that he could lord over other people that were going for the same job. He was at the bottom of the barrel and at the ends of his rope.
"Here you are sir," the nurse said coming back.
"Thanks, missus…" the changeling said as he used the gurney to prop himself up and reached out for the cup offered him.
"Just miss, I'm not married. And you can just call me Natasha."
"Well, thanks Mi- Natasha. Guess I haven't grown up yet."
"Understandable," the woman said as she started to walk away. "If you need anything else, just use the com next to your bed. Good night, Mr. Logan."
"Yeah, goodnight," Beast Boy said as he lay thinking in his bed, but at least he didn't have a dry throat anymore.
When he was once again alone with his thoughts, the green shape shifter lay back down. Taking a few short breaths, anger took hold of Beast Boy's heart. If only he hadn't fallen for a cheap ploy. If only he moved faster and avoided the boy wonder's lame tactics. If only he had landed a punch that sent the so-called wonderful leader into a coma, then everything would be fair, then he would have something to compensate his life. What had Robin done to piss off the two women that he loved? If he ever saw him, the changeling wouldn't just ask what had happened between him and Raven and Starfire, he would get his revenge for his lost life. "Someday, I swear that you and I are going to meet up and I am going to take you out you bastard," the changeling said closing eyes as he begged for sleep to take him once more.
Listening to the songs that he could remember, he pictured how he had been a hero. "I was a hero for a day," he thought, "but only a day. I just wish I had my old life back. I want to go back. I want to be a kid again. Why does nothing good ever happen to me? What did I ever do to be cursed like I am? What the hell is up with my nightmare of a life? All I get is pain." Muttering the words to himself, he cried like a child in his room. Softly sobbing, he wished that Raven or Starfire was there to comfort him. He wanted to tell them how much he wanted to love them.
If only he could go back and change that. If only he could go back, give a big 'fuck you' to Robin and kiss the Tameranian right in the midst of the rest of the titans. If only he hadn't pushed Raven back after her heartache with Malchior, the deceiver in one of her books. Maybe if he had held onto her a little longer instead of holding her away at arms length but instead pulled her close and kissed her tenderly, that might have changed everything that had turned to be. So many mistakes that scarred his life, so many troubles would never fade no matter how much time passed. All because he was too much of a coward when he was a titan, all because he was fearing what the others would say to him for openly loving one or both of the girls, all because of Richard a.k.a. Dick Grayson.
Ending his triad with a soft punch to the bed, he settled down as he softly cried himself to sleep. And when he opened his reddened eyes once more, he looked to the foot of the bed to see Dr. Stone reading the note on the end of the bed.
"Good morning," he said looking over the clipboard, a smile on his face as well.
"What's so good about it?" the changeling snapped, "I don't have anything anymore. My life is one big mistake. And right now I wish I never woke up. At least in my dreams I might have ended up happy…instead of this place."
"Man, you need to calm down. I'm trying to make things go as smoothly as possible. And besides, you have a place to go after you get out of here," Victor answered.
"If I get out," the green shape shifter answered as he looked to the side, "I don't even know if I want to. I'd just be a burden to them, just like I was before."
"Man, you won't be. They want you to stay with them. They love each other but sometimes it's nice to have a guy around the house. Raven says they still get 'the look' when they're walking to the store together."
"Well those people can go fuck themselves. Who cares as long as they love each other?" Beast Boy bit.
"Don't get mad at me. I'm just telling you that you'd all get a lot out of it. You'd have a home and they wouldn't have to deal with bigots. You know some guys think it's hot seeing them together so they try hitting on them with cheep lines?"
"How would you know that?" Beast Boy asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"I work here. I've walked by them dozens of times when they visited. I got to hear patients doing it all the time."
"Jerks."
"That's exactly what all three of us think but there's nothing we can do except ignore them and move on. Anyhow, now that you're awake I'm going to move you to another wing of the hospital and get you into a rehab program."
"Rehab, for what?"
"Getting you back up and running. You don't want to stay here forever, nobody wants to stay in here. You leave here one of two ways: healthy and off to live a normal life or you're dead."
"Dude, I've never had a normal life."
"It's a new time man. And you can, and you have friends that will help you."
Muttering something under his breath, the changeling hardly believed that was the true. Five years wasn't enough time to remove all the prejudice that he had dealt with all his life. But that was long enough for him to want to hurt Robin as soon as he saw him. Sleep hadn't done anything except make his strengthen his resolve for dear sweet vengeance. Somehow, he would track his old 'friend' and give him hell. If the others didn't know where he was now, that was only a small problem in his way. He was smart and would look for any trace of the boy wonder. As far as the changeling was concerned, Robin would never grow up and needed to be treated like he was, a kid with a temper. It was time that he be 'shown' the 'error of his ways'.
Grinning like the devil, the changeling wondered how he would go about doing it. Most probable was that Robin had moved to some place that hadn't had someone watching the city twenty-four seven. That knocked out Metropolis and Gotham right off the bat. What other cities could there be? Jump? No, if there was a problem Raven or Starfire could very easily take care of it. Over time, it was likely, almost a certainty that Raven had gained complete control over her powers. And if the way that she was expressing herself with the Tameranian was only a taste of the intimacy they shared there was without a doubt that the Goth was no longer burdened with her cage of a life.
"Least something else good happened over the years," the changeling muttered.
"Something wonderful happened yesterday too," Raven said as she walked in with Starfire beside her.
"What? Oh, you mean me?"
"Of course," the Tameranian princess answered. "It is most wonderful that you are awake."
"I'll leave you three. Nothing like yesterday Kori, you either Raven," Cyborg said with a slighted grin before walking away.
"I don't think you need to worry about that," Beast Boy thought to himself, "that was a once in a lifetime shot for me. Star's with Raven and very happy."
"Indeed I shall restrain myself," the orange-skinned alien said blushing.
Watching the dark woman and joyous alien woman take a seat next to his bed, Beast Boy just waited for them to say something to him. He had never been patient enough to listen to what they wanted to say. Always talking about his videogames or how Cyborg had cheated in the videogame that they were playing, it was due time that he keep his mouth shut and wait for one of them to talk to him about whatever they wanted to speak of.
"So…" Raven said in an angelic tone as she crossed her legs, "how do you feel today?"
"Honestly," the shape shifter answered, "I feel like shit. I don't feel much better then yesterday."
"Will you be coming to live with us?" Starfire asked, her tone like harps.
"Um…"
"Please say yes. I do miss having a male friend about."
"We really would like you to come live with us," Raven added.
"Well…I don't….I wouldn't want to be a burden. I just think that's all I'd be. I mean I can't even move right now…"
"Well you're not going to be leaving here just because you're awake. We'll visit everyday and tell you when everything's set up in your room. We do have a spare that could be used, so don't think that it would be cramming everyone into one."
"I don't know. I still feel like I'm just interfering in your relationship."
"You will not be. But if I may ask, how did you become so wise so rapidly? I do not believe I remember you speaking so eloquently before," Starfire asked, puzzled.
"I've always been able to talk like this. I always thought better then I talked. I wanted to fit in so I kinda…hid behind acting like a kid."
"What was your IQ?" Raven asked, intrigued with this revelation.
"I think it was something like 140, plus or minus a couple points."
"That is quite high," the Tameranian complemented, "Asshole Dick is only 110."
"So you only acted like you were kid all that time because you wanted to fit in. If I had seen leadership in you, I should have made you the leader back then. Maybe we would have caught Slade," the Goth said to the green young man.
"Maybe, but I just don't like fighting all the time though. When did you catch that guy anyways?"
"He is still operating," Starfire answered, "he has yet to be apprehended."
"And he is still Dick's obsession," Raven added. "I swear, if he wasn't a homophobe, I would be sure that he was gay himself."
The changeling nodded now that he understood why the lesbian women had such a strong loathing for the 'wonder.' "Show that's why," he said absentmindedly.
"Yes friend. When I told him I liked Love Raven a bit more than a friend he went on a rant and left me…" the princess's tone was filled with anger and pure hate. Only Raven's hand on hers helped ease the memories of Dick. Starfire sighed and laid her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "I sometimes wish to go to Blüdhaven just to tear his head from his shoulders…"
"Kori…" the dark woman said with a slightly stern voice.
"I apologize for that, however, it is the truth. To speak my feelings for him in Earth terms, I simply don't give a flying fuck…"
Once again, Garfield nodded. He understood how she felt and completely identified with her. He and Kori may have been a great couple, like he may have been with Raven, but it would take Robin's hatred of bisexuals to bring that out. Pain would have brought them together. Pain brings misery, but it can also bring happiness.
He and the two may have been very happy together and in a lifelong relationship with each other but fate, or rather Dick, kept that from happening. His loathing of the green man caused all this. But wasn't this also the reason the young ladies got together? The boy wonder wanted so much to be in a relationship like the shape shifter The boy wonder wanted so much to be in a relationship like the shape shifter. But Richard wanted it all his way whereas Beast Boy prefers to be completely equal, a partnership of the heart. Grayson had his very strong views where Logan had his easy to agree ones.
"I've often wondered," Raven said, "Is Richard searching for love? To make one love him? Or just to make love to?" The Goth expressed thoughtfully.
"Love Raven, I do not believe the phrase 'make love' is suitable for the dick but rather 'fuck'. At times, it seems that all he wants is to 'spread his seed'."
"Another Nightwing," Raven added, "now that would be scary." Her monotone voice didn't display her emotion well. However, she was snuggled up with Kori like a love struck school girl.
"Same old Rae voice," the tired young man thought, "different Rae body language…"
"Same Raven powers as well," the Goth added telepathically.
"Um, get anymore?" the changeling asked.
"A bit and I have mastered them all," the sorceress said with a smug look.
"Friend? Love? Anymore what? Mastered what?" the princess was a bit lost.
"My powers."
"Oh, yes. Indeed you have."
Smirking, Beast Boy looked at the two women. He envied them for having so much. But he was going to force himself to never feel sorry for himself. He had a chance and he missed it. He could at least be happy that neither girl was interested in being around Richard anymore. And the way they reacted when his name was mentioned, he was on their bad side with no hope of getting back again. Raven's evil side, he had witnessed before, especially when Trigon had gotten loose in her mind. Starfire's, he had rarely seen her angry, nearly begging for the boy wonder's blood.
Soon, his daydreams were filled with him, Raven, and Starfire taking their shots at Richard. First strikes, he would let the dark woman or the Tameranian decide. All he would ask of them was that his blows be enough to make Richard scream in pain, beg for mercy. Maybe his beast would allow it, but as for Koriand'r's righteous fury and the Goth's inner demon would likely never rest until all his blood was spilled. Maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea after all. Vengeance was one thing; murder was something completely different.
And if those two wonderful women commit such a crime because he egged them on, he would never forgive himself. They would be taken away from each other, severed in their hearts. He couldn't do that to them; he couldn't force two woman to live apart when they had been so close for so long. He could have to do it on his own so that if there was a death, either he would be completely at fault or he would be dead. In either one of those scenarios, Raven and Kori wouldn't have to suffer anything. They had done well for themselves while he lay in his coma. And the Goth had superb ways of explaining things so depressing. And with her loving heart to offer, what pain they would be feeling would leave like the tide.
"Visiting hours are almost over," Raven said as Starfire ran her hand through the Goth's deep lavender hair. "Is there anything else you want to talk about before we're forced to leave?"
"Two things," the changeling said. "First, what do you do for a living, your carreer?"
"Business law," Raven answered, "As bad an image lawyers have, this one really is the devil," she said pointing to herself.
"Naw, more like an angel," Garfield said grinning, leading up to his second question.
"What else did you want to ask?"
"If I hadn't ended up here…would…what would have happened…between us? Would…would either of you two have been…with me?"
"I see," the dark sorceress said looking away. "I truthfully have no answer to that. Nor do I have any speculation. Maybe, but maybe none of us would have any love in our lives."
"I'm sorry, I just ruined the moment."
"You asked an honest question. There's nothing wrong with wondering what might have been. The problem comes when you fight to make it that way."
"I won't force anything. I'll just have to live this life that I have, what's left of it."
"It's that optimism that makes you who you are Garfield, it's what makes you more then what Dick could ever hope to be. No matter how he improves his strength or how he could stop being such an asshole, what light side he would create would be a facade, a lie. And really, he's not as dark as some would like to think either. Neither light or dark, Richard lives a lie and blinds himself to it through his homophobic obsessions."
The changeling smiled a bit. The woman's compliments meant so much more coming from her.
Soon, a nurse knocked on the door and peaked her head in a bit. "Um, it's time to go."
"Alright," the Goth half demon replied.
"As you wish," the preppy princess added.
"When we move him, you can stay longer," the young woman said as she changed the IV bags.
"Wonderful," Koriand'r said, smiling.
She slowly stood and straightened her short purple skirt. Raven uncrossed her legs and was helped to her feet by her alien love, a habit that the Goth didn't completely enjoy. In the relationship, Raven was obviously the dominate one and always acted as such. She rarely ever asked for help from her partner. However, when she did, Starfire was always there for her.
Kori smiled at the look on Raven's face and giggled a bit. The Goth took the princess's hands in hers and kissed her softly. As the two broke, they smiled and so did the other two in the room. Gar and the nurse and soft smiles on their faces for the two lovers.
"Goodbye for now friend," the princess said waving.
Raven gave a simple wave as she held Starfire's hand in the other. The green man smiled and waved with a smile on his face and said, "Bye ladies."
As the two walked out of the room hand in hand, the changeling felt a warm feeling of admiration rise within him. He was glad for his friends. He was lonely, yes, but that didn't mean he had to drag them down. He was happy for the lesbian couple.
But alas, as the two entered the hallway, someone just had to comment.
"Hey girls, what's wrong? Can't find a good dick or does one of you got one?" A shaved head man began to walk their way with a sadistic grin on his face.
The happiness that was in the shape shifter would have to be put aside for now, fiery hatred was all he felt now.
"Shut your mo-!" Gar couldn't finish, he busted out in a series of hacking coughs, causing the nurse to come to his aid.
However, the man would not go unpunished. Raven quickly turned around, four crimson eyes burning brightly.
"Oh my god!" the man exclaimed, "I knew gays were going to Hell but I didn't know they were demons!"
"Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn," Koriand'r mentioned with her eyes glowing green.
"And that woman can rip you to shreds, and the other… well, she can do much worse." The deep voiced Dr. Stone told the discriminative skin head.
"This hospital has it all… lesbos and ni-" Before he could finish, a heavy book was thrown at his head by the green patient in the room. The Neo-Nazi fell over a stretcher and hit the wall. A snap was heard and he tried to stand. "Ah! Help!"
"Hospitals ain't obligated to help… ain't that just a bitch?" The tall African-American doctor bit as he walked into his best friend's room.
"Take that ya fuckin' son of a bitch!" Once he said his words, the changeling fell back on his bed, exhausted.
"Whoa, take it easy B." Cyborg placed his hand on Gar's shoulder as he spoke.
"I hope he burns," the changeling said between coughs.
"He will," the doctor said, "Some things change easy but hate is one of those things that never does."
Beast Boy understood that all too well. Why was there always hate? No matter how much good existed, all it seemed to do was allow more hate to flourish. Like a black flower that brought death, discrimination and heartlessness would take root. No matter what happened, what wonderful things the 'scum of the earth' brought into existence, someone would be there to tear them down and try to make them feel like they were worth less then nothing.
If there was something more that the changeling could do, he would have done it. There was no way that he would just stop at a simple book throw to silence someone that he was so cold to his friends. All things considered, whoever that guy was had been fortunate that it took almost everything out of the changeling for his weak attack. Although, it was starting to look like a lot more had been done. Perhaps when he struck his head against the wall, the Neo-Nazi had broken his neck. Maybe, but it wasn't the most probably.
"I hope he did. Maybe he'd be paralyzed from the neck down," Beast Boy told himself. "That would mean that I was responsible. Well, I don't regret it. He's lucky that I can't get up. I bet if he called me something my beast would come back." Thoughts about the animal that was inside his soul brought back the moment that he and Raven had shared a special conversation about how there are things inside that can't be completely understood, only battled and eventually controlled.
"I don't think that you did," Dr. Stone said overhearing his friend's dark words. "A sore neck and a concussion, but I think that's it."
"I have a lousy shot then," the changeling returned. "So when do I get out of here?" he said changing the subject when he started to feel uncomfortable with the look that his friend was looking at him.
"So now you want to leave. Just a little while ago you were saying something about wanting to go back to sleep."
"After that, I don't want Raven or Kori to have to take that bullshit. It's not fair that they have to. They can't control how they feel. And that comment was way over the line, way over."
"We talked about this already though."
"I know, but it just pisses me off more now that I've seen that sort of thing happen."
"Ok I have to get back to work. I'm on the clock so I can't dilly dally. Excuse me," the doctor said as he started to leave.
"Wait, can I ask you one more thing?" the green shapeshifter asked.
"Well, you have to make it quick but go ahead."
"Do you have a kid?"
"Twins on the way, Jinx's six months in. Fraternal twins if you're curious."
"Well, congrats dude."
"Thanks."
Once he was alone again, only kept company buy the machines beside him, Beast Boy lay back as he reached for a second book that the Goth had left behind. It had to be her since they were so serious in nature: "The World Is Flat", "Love and War", "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" which had coincidently been the one that he threw, and a couple magazines too. And with that, he reached over, grabbed a book, and, for the first time in five years, began to read.
Only working his eyes and his mind, Beast Boy pulled himself back into the past as he remembered how he had kept these sorts of activities a secret. When he had supposedly been reading the manual to the new videogames for the twentieth time, there was something a little more informative behind the cover. There were the nights of hiding under his blankets with a flashlight as he learned about history, animals, biology, math, astronomy, astrology, anything and everything that he could so get his hands on without the others knowing. Heck, at the time, maybe he would have been able to go one on one with the others on any subject.
Being smart would have made him seem just like the others. The only thing to distinguish him from the rest of the team would be his appearance; and that was absolutely not what he wanted to be remembered by. The jokester, the prankster, the lighthearted funny man; these were the words that described him. Without the distractions that he caused himself and others, the titans would have been boring and stiff. He livened the tower up. The team clown may have been annoying at times but no one could deny that without that part of his personality, no one would be like they were before the squad of teen heroes was formed.
But once his stomach started to growl for attention, the changeling was forced back to the present. And as a nurse walk by, he motioned for her to come over.
"Yes?" she asked patiently, "what do you need sir?"
"Something to eat," the changeling said as his belly made noises once more. "Do you have something vegetarian?"
"Salad?"
"That'll be great. Thanks."
"A dressing?"
"Um, maybe a ranch?"
"Sure, I'll be back ASAP."
Knowing that his food was going to be on its way, Beast Boy started to wonder how Raven had worked through college. Surely most of the funds that the titans had collected were transferred over Nightwing's account, just so he could stay the hero. Maybe that was something else that had made the demon sorceress and the gentle alien woman despise their former leader so much. What money had been owed to them had been wrongfully taken from them, just so Richard could support his own ends. If there was a way to prove this theory, the changeling swore to himself that he would do it without managing to upset the two women that he loved so dearly.
"It makes sense. But I don't have anyway to prove it," Beast Boy thought out loud. "Dick always thought of himself. And if he's more of a dick now, yeah, I could see how that would work out. One, he was the leader so he had access to the account. And since he was so fucking paranoid all the time, he probably thought that someone else would take the money. Damn you dick, you never love anyone but you out damn self. Two, since he was such a recluse, it wouldn't be too surprising if he was just scared to come out of the closet. He never did spend time around me or Vic. The only time he was around us was when we went on missions. He's either scared of homosexuals or he's scared that he'll become one if he hangs around them too long. It all makes sense to me now. Stay away from guys, don't even touch them. But if there's a girl, oh why not try to woo them and fuck them once they trust you."
"Sir, your food?" the nurse said coming back with a salad and tray.
"Oh, thanks," the changeling said sitting up.
"No problem."
Taking his time as he devoured his food like it would get away if he didn't rush it, the green man thought more about how his so-called leader had fucked the rest of the team over. How much more pain did Raven and Koriand'r have to deal with because they needed to get jobs to put the Goth through law school? How much time did Victor have to waste as he was working for his medical degrees? All because of some sick obsessions that some little boy had about catching some guy that seemed to practically run his life.
"You are recovering rather quickly, sir," the nurse commented as she watched the changeling.
"Um, thanks. I owe that to my genetics."
"If your body keeps this rate up, I could see you leaving us in a couple weeks. It's almost like your muscles are making up for lost time. But I would have to ask Dr. Stone about that. I'm not a doctor."
"Yeah, any guess when I'll be moved?"
"Sometime today most likely, it's not common for patients to be in here for very long after they wake up."
"And I've been stuck in here why?"
"Simple, you have only been awake for a day. The time that it takes to put the paperwork through to transfer you to another wing takes time."
"There's paperwork?"
"Sadly, yes. Dr. Stone is signing the final papers but it still takes time."
Nodding, the changeling finished his meal and laid back down as the nurse took the tray away. And feeling slightly relieved that his genetics were giving him a faster recovery rate, he sighed somewhere between satisfaction and being stifled by city government's interference in everything. It was wonderful that he could get out sooner then expected. But having 'big brother' breathing down his neck and watching him while he recovered from being in a coma for so long, it just didn't sit too well with him.
Closing his eyes as sleep took him in, the changeling's thoughts jumbled together like a hundred jigsaw puzzles all thrown in a box, shaken up, and dumped out. Slowly, he could no longer fantasize about the ideal world that he wanted for his friends. Everything was becoming black, sweet and peaceful slumber was over coming him once more. Three seconds and his heart rate paced out. Two seconds and he pictured reaching out to the lesbian couple and telling them that he would be there if they needed him. One more second and he thanked Victor for taking care of him over the years. Zero hour, dreams finally pulled the changeling's mind back from reality.