My Favorite Mistake-a parakiss songfic. Standard disclaimers apply.
I woke up and called this morning
The tone of your voice was a warning
That you don't care for me anymore
Yukari took a deep breath, as she put on the blue gown she had decided to wear on her wedding. As always, for special occasions, she had called Shinji to do her hair.
If anything, she needed to look perfect. Not just because of the occasion, but because this dress was special.
Even if he couldn't see her, she owed it to him to look only her best, when wearing anything he made...especially this one. The last one. She even took off her engagement ring, and replaced it with the smaller butterfly he had given her.
I made up the bed we sleep in
I looked at the clock when you creep in...
It's 6 a.m. and I'm alone
She was getting married today. And if it couldn't be him, what did it matter? She was successful. She made it...even without him. She was strong. She didn't become his mother, after all...
...and yet, wasn't her success their only difference? Didn't she ache for him, burn for him, realize the glaring lack of his existence in her life, which soured every victory that should've been sweet? Didn't she cling to his memory, the way his mother clung to his father?
She was her own person. She accomplished everything she had set out to do...but was this really living?
Did you know when you go
It's the perfect ending
To the bad day I was just beginning
From the beginning, she had always, always waited for him. Chased after him. Called him. All he had to do was wait for her to respond. He never made an effort to keep her.
Just once, why couldn't he have done something? She had waited 10 years.
Why did he never come back?
So she waited. Until she realized that he wasn't coming back. 10 years, and finally...it was over.
And just to show how 'over' it really was, he had even sent invitations to an opera in New York. A gift for her honeymoon with someone else.
It would've been better if someone had killed her, right there.
When you go all I know is
You're my favorite mistake
And yet, that was so like him. She took a deep breath, trying to hold on to her composure, before her tears spilled out, and ruined her makeup.
Shinji gave her a knowing look, and kept quiet.
Your friends are sorry for me
They watch you pretend to adore me
But I'm no fool to this game
"If you love him so much, even after all these years...are you really okay getting married to this other guy?" she heard Shinji ask her.
She gave him a wry smile, and answered sadly.
"It isn't him. Do I need any other reason?"
Now here comes your secret lover
She'd be unlike any other
Until your guilt goes up in flames
"Why didn't you go after him, then? It's not like you don't have a way." Shinji shot back.
"And, what? Become the kind of woman his mother was? He'd hate me like that...besides, he sent me a honeymoon gift. That's enough of an answer for me."
At this, Shinji had no reply. 10 years was a long time. Yukari had a point, although, whether he had given up on her or not, the gift was definitely George's style. He stood, up and looked at the grown woman who was on the verge of a breakdown, and pulled her in close.
Did you know when you go
It's the perfect ending
To the bad day...
I've gotten used to spendin'
She held onto Shinji tightly. She knew that he and George probably had their own story, but Shinji had always looked out for her and treated her like a friend.
Shinji was the only one she dared show this weakness to. How could she tell Miwako and Arashii, when they were her soon-to-be husband's closest friends?
Over the years, working together, laughing together, she and Shinji had become really close. It was to Shinji she would ever even speak his name. A name she was careful never to mention to anyone else.
It wasn't George's former lover who held her.
It was her best friend.
When you go all I know is
You're my favorite mistake
There was no turning back now. She was going to be married today, and she was letting go, for good.
And although what seemed like paradise in the beginning, had eventually led to heartache, she still couldn't regret it.
You're my favorite mistake
Because it really was paradise...while it lasted.
Well maybe nothin' lasts forever
She never expected to keep him anyway. With all that talk of him being an equal-opportunity lover, and his outlook of not holding onto anyone, it was bound to end.
Even when you stay together
Of course it didn't stop her from foolishly hoping. She really was foolish, wasn't she?
I don't need forever after
Such a short few weeks...and for her to change completely...why couldn't it last longer, even only a few more days?
And so, on this day of days, she wore this dress. Wore this gown. This ring. Had her hair fixed in that very same way she wore it, during the competition day, complete with those blue roses, that reminded her of his hair and eyes.
Did you know, could you tell, you were the only one...that i ever loved?
She didn't even hear the music, as she walked to the altar. Nor did she notice the people.
She wondered if he would understand, if she saw her, now.
Now everything's so wrong.
Probably not, since he was the kind who couldn't recognize real love.
Did you see me walking by? Did it ever make you cry?
She walked forward, knowing she was finally leaving paradise.
She had already locked away all the other dresses, accessories...everything but what she now wore.
Paradise wasn't in those clothes, anyway, but the man whose hands made them.
Because his hands had also created her paradise.
You're my favorite mistake...
And although it wasn't him, she only saw his face.
You're my favorite mistake...
It was his hand she was holding, his eyes she saw, as she made her lifelong vows.
You're my favorite mistake.
She said goodbye to paradise...to begin a different life.