Disclaimer: I wish I could say I owned something, but I don't. Just like I wish I could say I was high when I wrote this, but I wasn't that either.

A/N: I'd say this is about equal parts crack and fluff. Maybe more crack and so OOC it's just silly. This is basically an inside joke with my bestie/co-author/role model (lol) and y'all get the privilege of reading it. Happy Birthday, LCTD! I set my alarm just to post this for you. We call it amore.

-BB-

Romance-Based Schemes

"Austin, how many times do I have to tell you? Keep your things on your side of the room!"

Lying on his back with his knees propped up and his laptop on his stomach, Austin reads over a rattling e-mail from his manager when his phone plops down beside him, nearly hitting his shoulder. Austin glances at his roommate, Nicky Russo, on his designated side, icing his wrist.

"Jee, I love it when you throw my things around," Austin says sarcastically.

"I love it just as much when you leave your things on my side of the room," Nicky replies in a similar tone. Austin waves him off, Nicky scoffs and that's the end of that.

With the story he told Kaylie about how rooming situations at the TC can be your downfall, Austin was cautious throughout move-in week. Then he found out he was stuck with Nicky "The Robot" Russo. Austin relaxed somewhat. Nicky is practically mute, unsocial, keeps to himself. He might as well be another lamp in the corner, except for when Nicky isn't pleased with something Austin did. He has no problem expressing himself on that topic.

"Don't you have friends, Russo?"

"Nope. No time for that."

"Family you can FaceTime with?"

"No."

"A girlfriend?"

"No. Why so interested in my personal life, Austin?"

"Well, when you share a room with someone I assume it's ideal to know the basics about them," he points out. "Yes, I have friends. Yes, I FaceTime with my sister every Sunday and, yes, I have a girlfriend." As an afterthought, Austin asks, "You are interested in girls, right?"

Nicky looks up from the book he's just cracked open and narrows his eyes. "Why aren't you with Kaylie right now? Shouldn't you be coordinating your outfits or buying matching sweater vests?"

"Sweater vests. I wouldn't be caught dead in that." Austin's eyes return to the screen of his laptop. "God. I just realized something…" Austin pauses for dramatic effect, but Nicky doesn't even care. He just goes on reading his book, flips a page. Austin loudly clears his throat. "You aren't going to ask what or guess?"

Nicky looks over from his desk. "You wanted me to? I thought you were just talking out loud. Plus, I mean, you didn't ask a question, but there was some level of rhetorical impli—"

"Anyways!" Austin interrupts him. Saves the poor kid from looking like a bigger fool. "I just realized that Kaylie and I don't even have matching outfits yet," he inwardly cringes at the yet, "but Kaylie and Kelly Parker do have matching leos."

Nicky makes this sound. His lips stretch. Was that an actual laugh followed by a smile? That couldn't be actual emotion from Nicky Russo! Not possible!

"Kelly Parker and Kaylie Cruz?" Nicky clearly can't comprehend this.

"Apparently they're training partners."

"Are you sure that's in Kaylie's best interest? How has Kelly Parker not, as dramatic as it sounds, killed Kaylie yet?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Russo! You didn't know? Apparently, they didn't have a choice. They're dorming together too." A part of Austin is relieved. Kaylie told him that Nicky used to have a little crush on her when he was in Boulder. It's nice to know Nicky isn't trying to rekindle that and instead put his blinders back on. "She's completely sucking up to Kaylie too, has her unguarded. Kelly Parker is about ready to get best friends forever tattooed somewhere."

Nicky shakes his head. He must be interested in the topic. He closed his book and gives Austin his full attention. "That doesn't sound like the Kelly Parker I remember."

Austin shrugs. "Who knows what that chick's deal is. I already told Kaylie I don't trust her and I don't think she should be either." Suddenly, his phone buzzes against his shoulder and Austin reaches for it. A smile lights up his face like how he told Kaylie multiple times that her smile lights up his life. "Alright, I gotta meet Kaylie."

"Golden Couple time." Nicky rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to his book. "Fun."

"Extremely. King and Queen of the TC," Austin jokes. "Promise me you'll go outside, get some fresh air, sunlight, meet new people while I'm gone?"

"Probably not."

"I figured."

-BB-

Despite what Kaylie might have told Payson about realizing the abundance of hot guys around the USATC, she does love being with Austin. She does enjoy their couple time, especially when he isn't dragging her to a class, but instead they just hang out. Right now, they're lying out on the green grass of the quad, enjoying the sunshine and the minute away from gymnastics.

Kaylie feels a laugh bubble up in her throat and Austin turns to smile at her. "What's so funny?"

"This so feels like that scene from Twilight," she says. Austin makes a face at her and she laughs again. "Even your face is sparkling."

"Because of your lipgloss," he shoots back. "Pshh. I have a way better tan than that Edward guy. And better abs than the Jacob one."

Kaylie laughs at the memory of making Austin marathon the series with her. She has every DVD—probably why she had that vampire dream back in rehab (and still has them even though she's less vocal about it). Even though he moaned and groaned the entire time, Kaylie knows he secretly enjoyed it.

"Aww, well, one out of two isn't so bad," she teases. Austin leans over and kisses her. Suddenly her phone goes off and Kaylie pulls away to check it. Austin huffs loudly. Not that he thought he was going to get lucky out here on the lawn, but still, couple time is supposed to be couple time!

"Lauren or Payson?"

"KP, actually."

Austin groans. "Kaylie, she's obsessed with you."

"Stop," Kaylie warns him.

"No, I'm being serious," he says. "Any day now, we're going to find out she used her slimy, underhanded Kelly Parker ways to boost out the president of your fan club so she can run it herself. Has she started collecting hairs from your pillow for her BFF scrapbook yet?"

Kaylie tries her best to appear like she disapproves, but does find it a little funny. "Cut it out. Like I told you a million times now KP and I are friends. She's actually been really cool lately. I'm pretty sure I'm her only friend here. Maybe her only friend ever."

"Remind me never to bring you to the pound. We'd probably end up leaving with every single stray there," he says. "A lot of people don't know how to have friends and they're fine. Look at Nicky. He doesn't have any friends. You don't see him trying to hang all over me. He's perfectly fine with his best friends being books."

Kaylie frowns. "How are things going with Nicky?"

Austin lies back down and shuts his eyes, soaking up the sunbeams. "Nicky isn't that bad…for an anal robot. He's always on my case, trying to get me to clean my side of the room. Whines and nags and nags and whines. Like my mom, but less fun and he doesn't bake me cookies."

Kaylie laughs. "KP is the same way. Except, instead of flat out telling me she wants me to pick up my dirty socks off the floor, she leaves these cute, little passive aggressive post-its on the bathroom mirror, complete with winking faces, x's and o's."

"Dirty socks—hot." Austin sits up on his elbow and is about to kiss her, but notices how her attention is on her phone, fingers moving quickly across the keys. Austin sighs and lies back down. "What does she want?"

"Just wondering what I'm up to," Kaylie replies. "I feel bad for her sometimes, you know? Whenever KP walks over, Lauren and Payson just stop talking. They aren't as bad as they are with Jordan, but Jordan isn't trying as hard as Kelly. She isn't trying at all, but that's another story entirely."

"Tell me about it. If Russo isn't training—and he's always training—then he's holed up in our room, doesn't want to participate in any of the team bonding. The other guys all think he's a weirdo and he is, but whatever. It's not like I can force him to be socially well adjusted. If he'd rather hang out with dead smart guys then fine. I wouldn't even know where to begin with him."

Sitting up, Kaylie taps her fingers against her knee, thinking. Suddenly, she gasps. Light bulb!

Kaylie shakes Austin by the arm, getting him to open his eyes again.

"I know this is going to sound crazy," Kaylie says, "But what if we try to get them together?"

Austin takes a moment to consider the idea and then laughs loud and hard. He clutches his stomach and kicks his feet in the grass. Nicky Russo and Kelly Parker? In what universe would this be taking place? What higher power would ever let that unholy union exist in the world? When Austin can't control his laughter, Kaylie pouts and smacks his arm.

"Oh, you were serious?" Austin continues to laugh. "The one time we might have talked about you and Kelly Parker being roommates and friends or whatever, he asked me how it's possible she hasn't killed you yet. What makes you think setting them up would be a good idea? What could those two possible have in common?"

"They're both gymnasts, borderline obsessive compulsive and lonely. Oh, Kelly likes books too! She has a whole drawer full," Kaylie says. "Come on. Think about it. If they hit it off, he'll be out of the room more and she'll have someone else to spend her time with. It's a win-win situation for all of us. We'd be like the Breakfast Club of the TC! The TC Breakfast Club!"

"And if they don't hit it off…?"

"Well, then things are going to get awkward and they'll probably avoid each other at all cost, but they're both so individually awkward already and don't interact at all so no biggie," Kaylie says. "You talk to him and I'll talk to her. What's the harm in trying, right?"

Austin still doesn't look completely on board, but all Kaylie has to do is bat her eyes and he gives in just like he always does. Kaylie grins. She definitely likes where their relationship is right now.

Kaylie has never tried to play matchmaker before, but Lauren did it for Payson (and not even in a very discrete way) and Kaylie doesn't think she's ever seen Payson so happy, especially in a relationship with a boy. It can't be that hard. If Lauren can do it (and successfully) then it should be a piece of cake for Kaylie Cruz!

When Kaylie gets back to their room later that evening, Kelly is already there, sitting on her bed. Like always. Kaylie walks in through the door and leaves her purse on her desk before plopping down onto her bed with a sigh. "Hey," she says.

Kelly puts on a wide smile when she notices Kaylie in the room. "Hey, roomie! How was quality time with the bf?"

"It was alright; nothing too exciting to report on. It was pretty out all day today. Sometimes I forget with how often we're stuck in a windowless gym," Kaylie says. "Speaking of Austin, do you know who he's rooming with?"

Eyes back on the book in her lap, Kelly distractedly replies, "Um, I'm guessing one of the gymnasts on the men's team? Duh?"

"But specifically." Kaylie turns onto her stomach at the foot of her bed, facing Kelly. "Does the name Nicky Russo ring any bells?" Kaylie plasters on a big smile. Maybe too big. Whatever. Now it's Kelly's turn to be a little weary. "Oh, don't pretend you haven't noticed how cute he's gotten."

"I hadn't noticed. I hadn't noticed him around at all, actually," Kelly says matter-of-factly. "But if you're into that sort of thing, I guess. Wait, I'm sorry, but if I'm not mistaken, you've already tried that flavor, haven't you? What did they call it? Kaylicky?"

Kaylie feels her face grow hot at the mere reminder. "Ancient history. And completely fabricated by the press."

"Whatever you say, teamie." Kelly laughs, looking down at her book. "What's with the sudden interest in Russo? You aren't thinking of like, cheat on Austin with him, are you? Because as your friend I have to say, eww."

"No, never," Kaylie assures her. "A certain little birdie might have told me he mentioned you."

That catches Kelly's attention, but the look on her face is pure apprehension. "What did he want?" Kaylie shrugs innocently and Kelly loudly shuts her book. "Kaylie! What is that gym hopper saying about me?"

"Nothing!" Kaylie is a little taken aback by Kelly's reaction. "Okay, maybe literally nothing. Like I made up that whole thing." Kelly sighs, relaxes and Kaylie finds herself intrigued. "Why? What is there for him to tell? Did something happen in Denver?"

"No, nothing," Kelly says quickly. "Honestly, I always got the feeling he was scared of me."

Kaylie throws her head back with a laugh. "Right, because who would be scared of you?" Kelly curls her fingers around the spine of her paperback, like she's about to throw it. She doesn't, but Kaylie's ready to block her face if need be. "I, for one, think you two would be really cute together."

Kelly's face contorts. "Is that what this is about? Are you trying to set me up?"

"Would that be so bad?" Kaylie asks. She does the thing where she bats her eyelashes, but it's less effective on Kelly. "C'mon, KP. Nicky is cute and he's really sweet once you get to know him."

"Like how you really got to know him back in Boulder?" There's an edge to Kelly's voice, defensiveness maybe, and Kaylie hasn't heard that for a long time, not since before Worlds. Catching herself, Kelly shakes her head. "Sorry about that. I wasn't thinking…. And from what I remember, cute and sweet aren't words I'd use to describe him. More like arrogant and self-absorbed."

"Perfect for you!"

Kelly scoffs. "No thanks. Not interested."

"KP, I'm kidding." Kaylie goes over to sit with Kelly on her bed. "I'm not saying one little date means he's going to be your boyfriend. Just coffee. That's all I'm asking. Aren't you the least bit curious?" Kelly remains unmoved. "Fine. If not out of curiosity, then do it for me. You have no idea how wrong I think it is that you're single—unlike me—and not taking advantage of all the hot guys swarming the TC!"

Kelly rolls her eyes. "Once boy crazy, always boy crazy."

Kaylie playfully glares. "So will you? Please? Please? Please?"

Sighing, Kelly leans back in her bed. She's weakening, Kaylie can tell, and is overjoyed. "You really want me to do this, don't you?"

"Getting you out of your comfort zone to experience new things, yeah," Kaylie says. "It's what friends do for each other. Plus, I have a really good feeling about this. You never know, you might actually have fun and if not then when you get back we can sit around here and laugh at how awful it was."

Kelly cracks a smile. "Okay, fine."

Kaylie practically squeals with excitement, shaking Kelly, who's clearly unenthused. Now if only Austin can be just as persuasive. As long as he isn't being filmed, no catchphrases that need to be thought up and delivered, his natural charm should kick in easy.

-BB-

Nicky Russo makes a sour face. "Kaylie wants me to what?"

"Hook up with Kelly Parker," Austin says, like it's some sort of top-secret mission and they're in a spy movie. "You know, court her. Woo her. With the intentions of eventually, you know." Nicky looks perplexed. Austin sighs and shakes his head. "See. I knew it. I told Kaylie you wouldn't go for this."

His lips jut to one side, forehead wrinkle in confusion, and Nicky scratches the back of his neck. "Why would Kaylie want me to do this?"

Austin sighs and drags his desk chair across the room and to the foot of Nicky's bed. "See, Kaylie Cruz logic: you have no one and Kelly has no one so naturally, like magnets." Austin demonstrates with his hands, pressing his forefingers together. "Look, I know Kelly Parker is a conniving she-demon that'll rip your throat out and dance in your blood if you let her that close, but she's Kaylie's friend and Kaylie is really excited about this."

"It's still lost on me how those two became friends."

"Beats me. Who knows what goes on during their practices, on their side of the gym? Restricted access. Like a giant girl's bathroom," Austin says. "It's weird. Lately, I started noticing that they hang out more than Kaylie does with Lauren and Pay."

"So they tell each other things?" Nicky asks apprehensively. "Has Kaylie mentioned Kelly saying anything else to her about me?"

"Like what?"

Nicky turns away, maybe even blushes a little. "Forget it."

"Russo…" Austin smirks. He just can't help himself sometimes. "Does she have blackmail on you or something? What embarrassing thing did she catch you doing in Denver and use to run you out of town?"

"Nothing, really." Nicky isn't very convincing. "Anyways, you can tell Kaylie thanks, but I think I'm going to pass on this one. I'm sure there are a number of other guys around here, who'd be willing to."

Nicky stands from the edge of his bed and pulls out a pair of running shoes from the collection that's neatly lined beneath his bed and arranged by color. As he starts to put his shoes on, Austin rocks back and forth in his chair.

"What's the problem, Nicky? Worst-case scenario—things are really awkward and you both have a terrible time. That's really not that bad. Awkward things happening are apart of life. Best-case scenario—you have a great time." Austin shrugs. "Who knows? Kelly Parker might surprise you."

Nicky narrows his eyes. "You just called her a conniving she-demon."

Austin smiles. "Wow, you actually listen when I talk. And yeah, I clearly have my reservations about her, but only because I think she has an agenda to take advantage of how nice my girlfriend is and I don't want to see Kaylie get screwed over. Plus, I'm not the one getting set up with her so my opinion doesn't really count for much." Nicky scowls, tying his shoelaces extra tight. "What's wrong? Your game need a little help? Because I do have experience giving lessons on sexy. If you want, I could help you find your swag. It'll be—"

"Okay, I'm going for a run," Nicky says, gunning for the door.

"Hey!" Austin shouts after him. "At least think about it! And remember! Say no and you have to answer to Kaylie! From personal experience, that isn't very fun!"

Nicky squares his shoulders and walks out as if he didn't hear a word Austin said. Alone in their room, Austin leans back in his chair, thinking that went pretty well. He knows he's basically feeding his awkward roommate to a lion (or rather, lioness) but apart of him wants to see how everything plays out almost as much as Kaylie. In the very least, it'll be entertaining.

-BB-

Kelly has no idea why she agreed to this. No idea. Damn that Kaylie Cruz!

Her heels click against the cement as she walks to the coffee shop, where she's meant to meet Nicky Russo for their coffee date. What does that even mean? What's she supposed to say to him, especially after everything that happened in Denver? When you finish your coffee is the date then over? How long is this even supposed to last?

So, yeah, maybe Kelly's a little nervous. Apprehensive may be the better word. Needing something to do with her hands, Kelly smoothes down strands of hair that are a happy medium between brown and blonde. If you've met her mother, it isn't unimaginable that Kelly Parker isn't programmed for normal teenage behavior. When she realizes that her first real "date" is with Nicky freaking Russo, Kelly groans.

She groans again when she spots him sitting at one of the tables and he's doing a crossword puzzle. It does make her a relieved, remembering how big of a social spaz he is, but she's still nervous, mostly annoyed because who brings a crossword puzzle on a date? Oh, right, Nicky Russo.

"Hey," Kelly says, crossing her arms once she reaches the table.

"Hi?" Nicky looks up from his newspaper and smiles coyly. Kelly doesn't smile back, but seeing him looking at her, okay, so maybe Kaylie had a point about how cute he is. He quickly stands and shoves his chair back, the metal legs making a horrible scratching sound against the ground. "I, uh, waited for you to order."

"Cool."

Nicky takes out his wallet and volunteers to pay even when Kelly tells him he doesn't have to. She's perfectly capable of forking up a couple dollars to buy her own drink. Then he gives her this sort of longing look like she's stealing his thunder so Kelly rolls her eyes and lets him buy her coffee. It's just coffee. Whatever.

When they sit back down, Nicky nervously drums his pen against his folded newspaper and Kelly laughs. "Of course, you do the crossword puzzle in pen. Or crossword puzzles at all."

"What? It never hurts to keep your head sharp."

"More like test what useless information you have in your head."

Kelly can trade verbal jabs better than most. It's the silence she has no idea what to do with.

"So," Nicky says. "Do you really watch Kaylie while she sleeps?"

The color drains from Kelly's face. "What did you just say to me?"

Nicky leans back in his chair and just smiles at her. "Or the other one I heard is that you like to take pictures of you and her while she's asleep, doing your thumbs-up thing and dress up in her clothes—particularly her pink clothes—while she's out of the room."

"Who's saying all this exactly?"

Nicky presses his lips into a tight line. "I am not at liberty to say."

"Austin," Kelly says automatically. "He hates me. I knew it."

Nicky rubs his fingers through his hair, looking a little guilty. "If you ask me I think he's jealous of you. He wanted to get matching leos with her, but you beat him to it."

Kelly laughs softly. "When did you get so funny? Find a sense of humor in Dallas?" Nicky shifts uncomfortably. Kelly feels like she said something wrong and purses her lips. "So, how are you?"

"Fine."

"Even your wrists?"

He moves his hands off the table and sets them in her lap, where she can't see. "What about you? How's your mom?"

"I'm good. She's alright, I guess. We talk on the phone sometimes. Things have gotten a lot better since Worlds. She doesn't have twenty-four/seven surveillance on me so that's…different." Nicky nods and drags his pen across the gray newspaper, writing in a word. He's more interested in his stupid puzzle than her. Kelly huffs. "Look, I know Kaylie forced us into this—so beyond annoying—but we just need to sit around for a little longer and then when she asks we say it went okay, but we won't be having a repeat any time soon."

Nicky glances up at her, so handsome and so confused. "Is that why we're here? Kaylie?"

"Well, obviously," Kelly says. "We're basically living her little social experiment. She's persistent. Spend some time with her and you realize why she always gets what she wants."

Nicky shrugs his shoulders. He's doing that thing he always used to do in Denver—close himself off. Kelly feels something in her gut twist and she doesn't like it. "I don't know," he says. "Maybe I thought you genuinely wanted to talk. Then again, we have been here for weeks and this is the first time we've said a word to each other."

"Hey!" Kelly snaps. "It wasn't like you were knocking on my door Day 1."

Nicky stares at the table, doesn't even look up at her anymore. "So I'm guessing you never told BFF Kaylie about you and me, did you?"

"I never told anyone just like I told you I wouldn't and I told you not to," Kelly says. "Not like there's much to tell. You weren't really in Denver long enough—"

"Don't," Nicky cuts her off. "Do you know why I left?"

Kelly grinds her teeth. "What makes you think I care?"

Yeah, she might have let that one slip. Damn it, defense mechanism! He looks hurt and Kelly hates that, but it isn't like she can just apologize either. No. Kelly Parker doesn't do that. She can with Kaylie, sure, but Kaylie can't hurt her the way Nicky can.

Nicky licks his lips before going on. "I left Denver because your mom caught us together and told you I wasn't good enough for you and you believed her. You started dodging me and I didn't want to be around that. Just like I don't want to be around for whatever this is…" He shoves his chair back and stands up. "Well, this was fun. Tell Kaylie whatever you want."

"Nick!"

He keeps going. Watching him walk away feels like watching him clean out his locker and watching him say goodbye to Marty and watching him drive away. This was a stupid idea. Damn that Kaylie Cruz.

-BB-

Kaylie is super upset when things fall through with Nicky and Kelly. As much as he knows he probably shouldn't, Austin lets the "I told you so" slip and she ends up shutting a door in his face. Whatever. She'll get over it. Kaylie's being overdramatic about it, but Austin feels the ripple effect too. Now Nicky is even more withdrawn and Austin doesn't ever mention it or outwardly show it, but he is a little concerned about the guy.

"Jesus, Russo, put on a shirt," Austin growls from where he is at his desk. "What if I was Face Timing with my sister?"

"It's not like I'm walking around naked or something." Nicky has a town wrapped around his waist as he leaves the bathroom to go to his closet for a second, the shower running and steam pouring out from the door. "I just need to grab—"

Suddenly, the door flies open as if it had been literally stomp kicked and Kaylie is in the doorway. Austin almost jumps from the sound of the door slamming into the wall behind it. Nicky instantly flushes, obviously conscious of how exposed he is, and Kaylie doesn't make it any easier on him when she sends him a deadly glare and starts marching up to him.

"You! Android, what did you do to Kelly!"

"Kaylie!" Nicky's voice rises, cracks, taken by surprise.

"Kaylie!" Austin shouts. He scrambles to his feet, nearly drops his laptop on the ground and moves between them, trying to block the view of his roommate's near naked body from his girlfriend. "What the hell, Kay? Russo, put some clothes on! Kaylie, close your eyes!"

"What happened?" Kaylie presses on, ignoring her boyfriend.

Nicky shrugs his shoulders. "What did she tell you?"

"She said she had a lovely time!"

"What's so wrong with that?" Austin asks.

"It's not what she said. It's how she said it! As if she didn't already have a hard time before, losing her tricks and not improving, but now she's all, all, depressed!" Kaylie shouts. "And I can't get her to snap out of it and she definitely doesn't want to talk about it. What did you do, Nicky!"

"I didn't do anything to her," Nicky replies. His fingers curl into the towel at his hip, holding on tight. After being yelled at, he's a little less concerned with being embarrassed and more upset. "None of this is any of your business. Maybe now you'll learn to leave well enough alone. Quit interfering in other people's lives and just stick to gymnastics, Princess."

Austin, holding Kaylie back, cranes his neck at his roommate. "Who're you calling Princess?"

"I was trying to do you a favor, Nicky! If I knew you would go back into Asshole Russo mode, trust me, I wouldn't have tried to set her up with you," Kaylie says. Nicky rolls his eyes at them, grabs some clothes and starts to head back to the bathroom. "What sucks most is that, before, Kelly actually seemed excited about meeting you."

Nicky pauses and spins back around. "You're making that up."

"No, I'm not," Kaylie insists. "She was a little iffy the first time I told her, but the days right before, she wouldn't ever admit it, but I could tell she was. When she was doing her hair and her make up, she actually wanted it to go well. Now she's just…sad."

Nicky loudly exhales. He looks like he feels awful. "Why does she do that?"

"Do what?"

"Say things that are the complete opposite of what she means," Nicky says.

Kaylie laughs softly. "Nicky, she wouldn't be Kelly Parker if she made things easy."

Nicky sighs. "Do you have any idea where she is?"

"She wasn't in our room when I left, but she couldn't have gone far," Kaylie says. Nicky nods, looking like he's about to start looking for her right this second. "Wait, Nicky, one more thing. You might want to put on some clothes before you go?"

Nicky blushes, mumbles something and dashes to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Kaylie, still worked up, even with the source of her rage out of view, turns her murderous gaze on Austin. "You aren't off the hook either," she says.

"What?"

"You let him bring a crossword puzzle on their date?" Kaylie asks. "A crossword puzzle!"

Austin laughs. "You're still mad about me saying I told you so aren't you?"

Kaylie scoffs at him and heads to the door, slamming it loudly after her. Austin groans, hating how upset it makes him when she's upset with him. He kicks at the carpet.

"Russo!" Austin shouts at the bathroom door. "I don't care what you say! I'm giving you swag lessons! Your lack of game is seriously messing with my relationship! And you're borrowing my tie for when you go apologize!"

-BB-

Nicky refuses to wear Austin's stupid tie. And his stupid "swag lessons". What is that?

By the time Nicky is dressed and out, looking for Kelly, Kaylie texts him her exact location and maybe it'd be funny to imagine Kaylie in pink accented camouflage, creeping through bushes, searching for Kelly, but Nicky is too rattled by his nerves to draw funny scenarios in his head. It was so much easier to run, to try to erase Kelly from his head when they were in different states and he didn't have to worry about seeing her every time he turned a corner. Now he's actively looking for her even if he's sure she'll just tell him to fuck off.

He finds her exactly where Kaylie told him to look, sitting on a bench, under a streetlamp, with a book in her lap. Nicky has no earthly idea what he'll say, but he starts walking towards her.

"Kaylie Cruz loves you."

Kelly looks up, startled. Nicky keeps his distance, hands in his pockets, heart on his sleeve.

"Did Kaylie put you up to this?" Kelly asks.

"She kicked my ass about it and knew your exact location, which was interesting and informative, but she didn't make me do anything. She didn't make you do anything either." Kelly stares at her lap, looking like she doesn't know what to do with that information. "I just wanted you to know that…it's exhausting, trying to figure you out."

Kelly threads her fingers through her loose hair and opens her mouth, about to say something, but then stops herself. Seeing her pause and try again, Nicky moves closer and sits next to her.

"Nick, it's not like I try to be difficult."

"Yeah, I get that. It's not like I try to be bad at everything involving you, us or just people in general," he says. "I just need to know, did you want to talk to me or were you just trying to make Kaylie happy?"

"Honestly, I'd by lying if I said Kaylie didn't set things in motion, but, yeah, Nick. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't stoked for an excuse to talk to you."

He sighs, trying to fight down that sudden debilitating feeling. Like he's buzzing. "I've wanted to talk to you ever since I heard you were going to be here, but I didn't know how. I get stuck like that a lot. Then I started thinking about how things between us…yeah, I left and I admit I suck for that and I apologize if that's what you need. I just don't want you to be sad anymore."

Kelly scoffs, forced and weak at best. "Who said I was sad over you?"

Nicky smiles. That sounds like the girl he fell for before he even realized he had.

"And I never thought you weren't good enough for me," she says. "But with me and my mom and our relationship…it was complicated back then and it still is."

"Yeah, I know. I get it."

Nicky smiles and when he reaches for her hand he does it without thinking. She fumbles a little as her fingers move between his, but maybe that's as natural as things get with them. That's their personal definition. Nicky's fine with it. And with the way Kelly looks at him and doesn't even try to hide her smile, he figures she's okay with it too.

"I really liked you," Nicky says, nearly inaudible. He squeezes her hand and feels her eyes trace over every angle of his face.

Kelly wrinkles her nose and, Jesus, the devil can be so friggin' cute. "Why?" she asks. "I was never nice to you. I didn't even try to be."

"Eh, you had your moments. We did have some really great moments." Nicky shrugs. "I don't know why. I guess I just like angry, confusing, pretty things?"

Kelly shies away, leans towards the end of the bench, but doesn't let go of his hand. "I'm less angry now, actually," she says.

"Ah, yes, results of being Kaylie Cruz's social experiment. You have really good taste in people," Nicky says. "For what it's worth, I still think you're pretty. And confusing."

"Flattery gets you nowhere at the TC," Kelly says. She hits his shoulder with hers and it brings them a little closer, just a little more to smile about. "So, what is it really like living here with Olympic gold medalist Austin Tucker?"

"He's more like a lovesick puppy than someone to idolize," Nicky says. "Kaylie owns him. And I know people say that all the time, but in his case." Nicky glances around the empty quad and then leans in to Kelly. "The other day, he asked me to go shopping with him for a suit and tie, something that'd 'match his eyes' because Kaylie would like that. He even tried to get me to wear it tonight."

Kelly laughs. How could she not?

"Did you go to pick it out with him?"

Nicky scoffs at the very idea and Kelly laughs again.

"By the way," she pulls back the hardcover of her book and takes out a newspaper clipping, "I finish your crossword puzzle."

"Without Google?"

This time Kelly scoffs and smacks his shoulder violently with her book. "Obviously! I might not have your IQ, but I'm not completely incompetent either."

"You're such a liar."

"Screw you, Nick."

"Okay, fine, I believe you. Let me see." Nicky takes the puzzle and looks over the combination of his letters, small and sharp, with Kelly's, a tad larger, soft and rounded. Every single box is filled and he doesn't even have to look to know it's correct. It wouldn't fit if it weren't right. His eyes drift to their fingers. Feeling just a little daring, Nicky asks, "So what would your mom think of us, doing this, whatever this is, right now?"

His voice is less malicious than it had been last time, less of an attack, more of a test.

Kelly's smile softens. Knowing how vicious she can be when she wants to, seeing her so coy is strange, but he doesn't mind it either.

"My mom's not here, is she?"

Nicky sees the almost impish glint in her eyes and starts to lean in. Before they meet in the middle, hooting and hollering distracts the both of them as a group of guys run past, Otis hoisted up on their shoulders as they go. Nicky shakes his head and Kelly laughs at how confused he looks.

"This place is really weird."

"Yeah, it is," Kelly agrees. "Now shut up and kiss me."

-BB-

"Hey, what am I supposed to be?"

Austin stops walking and cups a blood red apple between his two hands. Kaylie rolls her eyes and steals the apple away as Austin laughs and tugs him to follow the walkway that winds through campus. Dinner ended and there's still no word from Nicky or Kelly. Kaylie talks Austin into a little moonlit stroll conveniently in the direction of where she sent Nicky after Kelly.

"Babe, stop stressing," Austin tells her. "You can't control other people's feelings."

"Yeah, I just wish I could set out to do something for once and have it all go as planned, not blow up in my face." Kaylie sighs, linking her arm with Austin's. "Well, at least I tried. Now I'm just hoping things can go back to normal. Or, well, as normal as it's allowed to get around here."

"That's all you could have asked for."

Kaylie sighs and stares down at their feet as they walk. "I just really thought it would work out, you know? I wasn't even lying to Nicky about what I said. Kelly was totally into it even if she wouldn't admit it and Nicky likes strong, empowered girls who he can respect. I just…Austin, are you even listening?"

"Too busy watching, actually."

Austin points Kaylie's attention a couple yards away, over some hedges. That's clearly Nicky with his pasty complexion and Kelly practically in his lap, his fingers through her hair, totally making out. Oh, how shameless can two people be! All the touching and groping and their lips everywhere! Kaylie thinks she might be blushing. No, yeah, she totally is.

"Well, I'll be damned," Austin says. "It worked."

Kaylie tilts her head, can't take her eyes off them. "Maybe a little too well."

"No kidding. She's basically molesting him," Austin says, just as transfixed. "Oh, I see hair-pulling. Get it."

"Why is he shoving his hands up her shirt in public!" Kaylie gasps. "Oh, my God. Her mom would flip if she saw this right now!"

Austin chuckles. "Lioness was right."

"Okay, we're done watching." Kaylie starts to drag Austin away despite his mumbled protests. She suddenly stops and dramatically turns to face her boyfriend, absolutely beaming.

"What?" He groans, knowing what she wants. "Fine. Go ahead. Say it."

Kaylie grins, spinning on the tips of her toes. "Ha! I told you so!"

Austin snorts and takes back the apple he gave her, sinking his teeth. Kaylie continues to pull him alone on their walk, wearing the biggest smile.

For nearly a week after, nicknaming them the TC Breakfast Club starts to catch on and even Kaylie starts to get a little annoyed. It was only okay when she said it, alright?

A number of times, Nicky and Kelly consider bursting Kaylie's bubble and telling her the rest of the story, but ultimately decide against it. Kaylie likes to rub it in Austin's face that she was right and that shit is just too amusing to end.

A/N: LOL This is so cheesy and OOC. I don't even know, guys. I'm sure this was awful, but there you have it! And I bet LCTD is like, uh, thanks? For this crappy fic I didn't even want and would re-gift in a heartbeat, but whatever! You know you love me, hoe. I'm writing something else for you, ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM from this, but hopefully just as entertaining.

Everyone, please review and tell me how ridiculous this is! Because, yes, I admit it's ridiculous, but I also admit I had so much fun writing it. At least some parts made you laugh, right? I hope.

xoxo