Letting You In
Letting You In
A/N So here I am again writing a sequel. Potterfan89 and I have been brainstorming with titles ideas and stuff so here it is….
'Everything'
Jack blinked at him. What was going on? First Ianto wouldn't tell him anything but now he wants to tell him everything? Jack shook his head and tried to get past Ianto. He justcouldn't get past the arm that was blocking the door.
'I need you to listen to me Jack.' Ianto swallowed his fear down. Why was this so God-damned hard?
'What if I don't want to?' Jack's voice was hoarse from crying and it surprised Ianto so he dropped his arm. Jack took advantage of Ianto's momentary shock and slipped past him. Cursing, Ianto followed him out.
'Jack! You can't keep running from this. It's going to catch up with you in the end and I think it's better if you hear it from me.' Ianto was steadily following his lover around the Hub as Jack tried to ignore what Ianto was saying.
'I can. Don't you see?' Ianto shook his head.
'Jack, -' Jack held up a hand to silence him. His ear com was buzzing. He touched it answering the call. It was Gwen.
'Jack, I know you don't want to talk to me right now.' That's for bloody sure. 'And I know that you're probably half way across the hub trying to leave with Ianto a few paces behind you.' Smart girl. 'But trust him Jack trust Ianto and listen. I know what happened and he needs you right now more thanever. Trust him Jack.' The com went silent leaving Jack cursing to himself.
'Who was that?' Ianto's voice shook slightly.
'Gwen.' Ianto let out a breath and closed his eyes. This wasn't good. 'She knows.' It was said quietly but the silence of the hub made it seem like a shout. 'SHE KNOWS! And here you are expecting me to trust you when you already tell people what I don't know. I was supposed to know first Yan,' The use of the nickname made Ianto's eyes swell with tears. 'Not her, me. But I wasn't. Why?'
'B-because I didn't want to hurt you.'
'You say that a lot, but now I'm really starting to doubt it. There is one rule I live by Yan, one rule. Never fall in love. Hell, with a job like this you can't afford to. But I broke it. I fell in love with you and now I know why I set that rule. It hurts. Love hurts.' Jack was facing Ianto and his face was open. Ianto could see the pain and hurt cross the older man's face clearly and he cursed himself for putting it there.
'But that's the point Jack. Love hurts and that's how you know its love.'
'Love is supposed to be beautiful, filling and caring. But we don't have that. We have hurt and pain.'
'We have that because we've just started falling in love. We're not in love completely Jack and that's why it hurts. You don't know how much you need to trust me and I don't know how far I can push you. But that's okay because we work on it and build it. That's why love is the best thing we have. It's the closest thing we have to magic.' Ianto was breathing heavily after saying this. It made sense to him hopefully it would make sense to Jack.
'But why didn't you tell me?' Asking the same question for the countless time.
'I don't know why Jack but I'm sorry.'
'Sorry?' Ianto nodded. 'Sorry doesn't mean anything. It doesn't do anything. Sorry doesn't fill the void in my heart. Sorry doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't mean anything, just a word tossed around to cover up mistakes.' Jack made to walk away from Ianto but Ianto reached forward and grabbed his arm. Jack curled his hand in a fist and swung round hitting Ianto in the face. Out of shock and pain Ianto let go, clutching his now bleeding nose. Jack used his shock and ran to the cog door, opening it as he approached. He glanced back at Ianto and shook his head as more pain erupted in his heart. This was painful.
Ianto watched Jack run knowing it was pointless to follow him. He wiped his nose on his shirt covering the sleeve with blood - Oh well, dry cleaning's got out worse – and made his way back to his desk. He understood why Jack wouldn't want to listen to him but it still hurt when he walked away. He had no idea what Gwen had said but Jack had been less than impressed. It hurt himto know that he was trying to explain things and Jack hadn'teven bothered to listen. Hell, if Jack had done what he had, Ianto wasn't all too sure he would listen to him explain either. How could Ianto sort out the problem he had with Jack if the older man wouldn't listen? Ianto ran his hands down his face and sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought.
Jack somehow managed to walk around Cardiff, fighting the chill in the crisp autumn air. He had left his famous coat back at the hub and he was not about going to go back and get it. He was too proud. Was he really that proud that he wouldn't even listen to Ianto, the man he loved? Yes. He had been hurt by his young lover and he was too proud to listen to him. He had to remain proud – it avoided him falling in love. But he had let himself down. He had fallen in love with the one person who could hurt him most. Jack sat on the bench behind him and ran his hands down his face sighing. This was going to be harder than what he thought.
A/N thanks to Potterfan89 for the help……
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