MT2: More Than I Want To

by Elise Marie

When Jack returns home, how will he adapt to living back on Earth? What will happen between him and Major Carter after they spent a night together? REVISED! Follows MT1 and before MT3.

1. MT2 Chapter 1

Title: More Than I Want To

Category: Sam and Jack romance/angst

Spoilers/Season: Sequel to "More than I'm Supposed To". Canon universe up until "Entity" and then it is in an alternate reality. This is set roughly in the middle-end of season 5.

Rating: PG13

Content Warnings: Sexual discussions.

Summary: When Jack returns home, how will he adapt to living back on Earth? What will happen between him and Major Carter after they spent a night together?

Disclaimer: Stargate and SG-1 are the property of Showtime, MGM, Double Secret and Gekko and they do not belong to the author. This piece of fan-fiction was created solely for entertainment purposes and no money was exchanged. No copyright infringement was intended and the original characters, situations and plots are property of the author. This piece of fan-fiction must not be archived without the author's consent.

Comments: I'm revising and editing the original three "More Than…" stories so that I can publish the final ones which I have just found in my attic. No major plot changes, but some edits regarding scenes and conversations.

Enjoy!

Copyright © Elise February 2003

Edited: June 2010

More Than I Want To

Colonel Jack O'Neill took a deep breath and knocked on the door, anxiously awaiting the person behind it to open it. He nervously put both hands behind his back and waited as patiently as was possible for him, for the door to open. A lot had occurred in the past year and O'Neill was finally now standing where he was to try and resolve things. It had taken a lot of thinking and soul-searching to get to this point. Eight months ago, O'Neill had left SG-1, the Air Force and Earth to set up home on an alien planet with a woman named Laira and their son. He had never really wanted to go, not if he was true to himself, but events had caused him to leave in hasty anger. A month ago he had made the realisation that he had cut off the proverbial nose to spite his face and so he had returned home. O'Neill had been home for little more than a month, but had been trying to adjust to his old life once again. Not that he had ever fully adapted to living off of Earth and not that he had been living with Laira and his son. He had stated to Laira after discovering they had a child together, that he did not want to be with her, however he would be a father to their son. No matter his reasons for leaving Earth, or even for re-joining Earth, the fact that he would be a father had not changed. The past month had been long and tiring. He had to come out of retirement for the second time and then he had to get adjusted to the new team. SG-1 would never be the same again. Just over nine months ago everything had been fine, normal and perfect. Then Laira had come back, setting in motion a snowball of doom, at least O'Neill wanted to lay all of the blame on her, but that was not entirely fair. SG-1 no longer consisted of Colonel O'Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson and the Jaffa Teal'c. Now SG-1 consisted of O'Neill, Daniel, Teal'c and Lieutenant Nicola Carpenter.

Throughout the month that O'Neill had been back, Major Samantha Carter, the missing member of his team, had rarely been mentioned. O'Neill always told Daniel to shut up whenever her name was brought up. O'Neill and Carter had broken regulations and destroyed their friendship when Laira had shown up, by sleeping together. Destruction could easily have been avoided, but it had not. So easily, O'Neill and Carter could have continued, changing their friendship for the better. Instead, O'Neill had left Earth after being hurt by Carter and deciding that any relationship of any sort with Carter was impossible. Things had gotten too complicated for the simple old Colonel and so he had left. Everyone who knew both Carter and O'Neill had promised the latter that they would not inform Carter of O'Neill's return. He wanted to tell her himself - when he was ready.

And now, nearly a whole month after his return to Earth, O'Neill was ready to inform his ex-lover that he was back in town, back on the planet in fact. O'Neill had needed time to adjust to living back on Earth, to working within a team that on the most part he knew like family. It had been a shock to arrive to an SG-1 with only Daniel and Teal'c on it and in a confused state, O'Neill had simply been happy enough to get his spot back. Hammond had insisted that Nicola Carpenter was a permanent fixture now and it had been more changes for O'Neill to adapt to. He knew that it was cowardly to not have told Carter or seen her earlier, but it was difficult on both a personal and professional level. They had only spent one night together and then misunderstandings had come between them. O'Neill believed that Carter had seen him and Laira kissing. The next day when O'Neill had finally caught up with the woman he had loved, he found her with another man. Confused, hurt and very angry, O'Neill had left Earth. Life with Laira and her people had not been easy and O'Neill had eventually come to realize that he had acted with too much haste. He had also come to realize that he missed Earth in a way that no bond with his young son could overcome.

Part of him had missed Carter. He doubted that he could fully forgive her, but he wanted her in his life somehow. He wanted her as a friend, as they had been a year ago, and he hoped that they could forget past events. He also hoped that when she returned from extended leave, Carter would return to SG-1. O'Neill had no idea why she was on leave, why she had left SG-1. Could it have been the same reasons that he had left Earth? Was being on SG-1 too painful for her without him and knowing what had happened? That was when guilt had started to eat at O'Neill. He wondered what had caused her to give up on her dream. He hated the fact that it was partly his fault that the career she so treasured was lying in tatters. The guilt and shame of having driven her from the SGC was what had prevented him from coming to see her sooner.

That was what he was doing now - waiting for Carter to open her front door. He could remember the last time he had stood at this door, the final day he had lived on Earth before fleeing. He had knocked on the door after searching all night for her. The feelings he now felt were similar except this time he was anxious as to what her reaction was going to be. Nine months ago when he had been standing at this door, O'Neill had been anxious to correct Carter on a misunderstanding, however this time he was here to try and re-build a friendship. The expectations were less this time, but he actually felt more nervous this time. Carter's friendship was incredibly important to him. O'Neill had not told anyone else that he was going to see Carter. Daniel and Teal'c knew what had happened between Carter and O'Neill; well most of what had happened. Daniel was now slightly over protective of his female friend and O'Neill could understand, but knew that Daniel would have tried to dissuade O'Neill from being where he was right now. Thankfully, Hammond still had no idea that anything had happened. At least he had not let on that he did. O'Neill was not sure how Hammond would react to learn why SG-1 had broken up and why it was now only three quarters of what it should be.

Carter was taking a while to open the door, O'Neill realised wondering if she were okay. All Daniel had told O'Neill was that Carter was taking a holiday from SG-1, but that she might be back soon. O'Neill was worried that she would not come back to SG-1 if she knew that O'Neill was the C.O. again and he wanted to work things through with her to go back to their glory days.

Finally the door opened to reveal Carter. O'Neill was immediately hit by her beauty. He had missed seeing her every day. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack from shock and O'Neill could not really blame her. She also looked very tired.

"Surprise," smiled O'Neill, his eyes moving down Carter's body as she stepped away from the door and into full view.

"Surprise for you too," she said quietly.

O'Neill's eyes became transfixed by her abdomen. "You're…"

"Pregnant, yes." An uncomfortable silence fell over them before Sam spoke again, "Did you want to come in?"

"I could use a seat, yeah." O'Neill said, still unable to take his eyes from her pregnant bump.

She moved to one side, allowing him access to her home and he walked in. They both walked through into the living room and Carter sat down on the sofa, O'Neill sitting on the other end of it. Despite his shock, O'Neill was hit by the memories of when he was last inside of Carter's home. It was in this very room, he thought as his eyes scanned around, that they had kissed. At that point in time, he had hoped that kiss to be the beginning of a new stage in their relationship and he could never have dreamed that less than a year later he would be standing here fighting for their friendship. He noted that nothing really seemed to have changed in her living room, except for the baby magazines which he was pretty sure were not on her coffee table last time around. Seeing the magazines made him focus his attention back on Carter and her bump.

"You're … huge." In that moment, all other words vacated his mind.

Carter smiled. "Gee, thanks."

"Sorry." There was a pause. "How far are…?"

"What are you…?" Both of them began talking at once. They stopped, laughed and then O'Neill gestured for Carter to continue. He had many questions for the woman sitting near to him, but she must have just as many and even though he was dying for answers he would wait. Carter continued, "What are you doing back here?"

He had planned on telling her the truth, every little detail and the exact reason why he had returned, but now he faltered. It also occurred to him that everyone had kept his secret and no one had informed her that he was back. O'Neill had honestly believed that Daniel at least would have broken his promise. "It didn't quite turn out I'd thought it would, so I'm back." He paused, knowing that he had not lied fully, but that he had also not said what he had planned to. "To stay…" O'Neill had planned on asking her to re-join SG-1 for them to all return to the friendship they had. Once upon a time, anyway. That would be impossible now.

"Right," she nodded.

"Yeah," he said, not knowing what else to say and his curiosity getting the better of him. "How far…? I mean." He groaned in frustration. Why was it so hard to phrase the question?

Carter knew what he meant so she phrased the question. "When am I due? How many months pregnant, am I?" she asked, placing a hand on her pregnant bump and he nodded. "I'm nearly full term. I'll probably drop any day now," she smiled peacefully.

"Nine months ago." It was not exactly hard to do the math of the situation. Roughly nine months ago he and Carter had spent the night together - an unprotected night - and now she was due to give birth any day.

"Sir- Colonel-," she shook her head and started again. "Jack," she began but was interrupted by the door opening and then closing.

"Sam?" a voice called. O'Neill could see the panic on Carter's face.

"In here," she replied visibly cringing.

A man soon entered the room. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

O'Neill looked up at the man and instantly recognised him.

*Flashback*

"Sam, I…" Jack stopped, looking in confusion at the person who had opened the door. "You're not Sam," he stated obviously.

"No," the man replied. His voice was husky from sleep, his hair mussed and he wore only his underwear.

"Dare I ask where she is?"

"Still in bed. It was a late night."

Jack nodded. "I bet it was." He knew that this man standing before him probably had no idea about Sam's other relationships, but that did not bother Jack. All Jack knew was that two nights ago Sam had slept with him and last night she had slept with this man. That made Jack angry and just slightly irrational. The anger and irrationality took over him and Jack punched the unaware half-asleep man.

"What the…?" The man said, holding his now bleeding nose.

Jack shook with rage and then realised that he was angry with the wrong person. He should not be upset with an outsider who had been used by Sam. No, Jack should be angry with Sam. "Sorry," Jack mumbled an apology. "You're welcome to her," he spat.

*End Flashback*

O'Neill turned to Carter. "Oh," was all that he could say. Maybe the math was not that easy.

"Jack, this is Brad. Brad, Colonel Jack O'Neill is an old friend from work." Carter introduced the two men.

"We've met," Brad said, "this is the guy who punched me."

O'Neill smiled nervously. "Sorry about that." O'Neill paused. "I better get going." He did not wait for anyone else to say anything, he simply walked out. Closing the front door behind him, O'Neill was confused. He had spent a month deliberating and waiting until he felt it was right, until he knew what it was he wanted to say to Carter. He could not believe that no one had told him about Carter being pregnant. He could not believe that for a split second he had thought that the unborn child might be his. Someone would have told him if the child had been his.

Even so, O'Neill wanted answers. That was why, once back on the base, O'Neill headed straight for SG-1's office. Daniel was sitting at his desk and Carpenter was at hers. Carpenter had been transferred from another SG unit after O'Neill had left and O'Neill had been led to believe that Carter had been in command. In truth, there had been no SG-1 missions since O'Neill had left, he had realized this by looking up mission reports and found many mentions of Daniel or Teal'c being temporarily leant to another unit. That had puzzled him before, but now it made sense. He could now assume that Carter had soon learnt that she was pregnant and had subsequently requested no off-world missions.

"Jack," Daniel looked up from his computer, "where have you been?"

Carpenter could tell that O'Neill wanted to talk to Daniel alone. "I just remembered that I have a meeting with the general." She stood and walked past O'Neill.

"Thanks." He had not worked with Carpenter much, but they had all gone on a few missions off-world in the past few weeks. She was military through and through, but she also held a degree in archaeology. O'Neill found that she wanted to examine rocks a bit too much like Daniel, and that was why they had Daniel.

She smiled and said, "No problem." Even though the brunette had only been a member of SG-1 for almost a month now, Carpenter was not fully accepted. She got on with the other three members of the unit, but it took time to form the kind of friendships that the original SG-1 had. It had not helped that within days of joining the team, it had gone on stand-down and then had a new C.O. when O'Neill had returned.

O'Neill turned back to Daniel. "What's up?" Daniel asked.

"Why didn't you tell me?" O'Neill asked.

"Tell you what?" Daniel loved these conversations with his friend - never knowing what he was actually on about.

"About Carter," he angrily demanded.

"You went to see her?" Daniel asked and O'Neill nodded. With a shake of his head, Daniel looked disappointed in his friend. "I didn't want to ... sway your decision. I wanted you to go and see her because you wanted to not because she was pregnant."

There was a long silence. O'Neill wanted to talk to Daniel as a friend, but worried if he should. Daniel had clearly kept Carter's secret, but then he had also kept O'Neill's own secret. He could not help his curiosity though and at least Daniel knew parts of what had transpired prior to O'Neill leaving with Laira. "At first," O'Neill mumbled, "I thought that it … that it might be mine."

Daniel nodded. "I thought that, too, so I asked her."

"What did she say?"

*Flashback*

Daniel was waiting outside of the toilets for Sam to exit. Two days ago she had informed Janet, Teal'c and himself that she was pregnant. Since then Daniel's mind had posed hundreds of questions and he had finally decided to question her. As soon as he had entered their office to talk, though, Sam had run off to the toilets.

She finally came out of the toilets. She smiled at Daniel and explained, "Morning sickness."

He nodded, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. "Look, Sam, we need to talk. I need to ... ask you some stuff."

Sam nodded her head. "Not here, though. I haven't told General Hammond yet. I have no idea how to. He's been a friend of my Dad's for years and in some respects he's like a second father. Plus, he's my commanding officer now that…" Daniel saw pain flash over her face as she did not finish her sentence.

"Our office?" he asked and Sam nodded. A few minutes later, Sam and Daniel were in SG-1's office. Sam sat down and Daniel wasted no time in asking his questions. "Who's the father, Sam?" He knew that he was being very blunt, but the question had burned within him ever since the moment she had told him. He knew that she and Jack had slept together about a month ago, but that something else had happened, causing Jack to leave.

"Not Jack," she said as if that would be answer enough.

Daniel looked very confused. "Who is it then? You said that you were about a month pregnant and you slept with Jack a month ago, right before he left." He saw something flash in her eyes at his final four words. Daniel was unsure as to what exactly it was.

"Can you keep your voice down? No one else knows about Jack and I, I'd like it to stay that way."

"Sorry," Daniel apologised and then waited for an answer.

Sam knew that she had to answer, but she felt a bit embarrassed now, her cheeks flushing a slightly pink colour. "I feel quite ashamed about what happened and I don't want you to think … different of me. I was having a hard time and I do regret what happened."

"What happened, Sam? What did you do?"

"After I saw Laira and Jack, I was upset. I went out, got drunk and I slept with someone else."

"What? Who?" he demanded. Daniel could hear the anger in his voice and maybe an element of disgust. He would never have expected Samantha Carter, Major in the USAF to do something that irresponsible.

Sam began to cry quietly. "Damn hormones," she complained. She wiped her eyes with a tissue and then blew her nose. Daniel felt instantly terrible at how he shouted at her because she was not just his friend, but also a pregnant lady. He was not sure how often he had ever seen Sam cry; it was not very frequent. "A barman at the club I'd gone to."

Daniel stared at her in shock, any hope that it had been a friend to whom she had turned gone from his mind. "You had a one-night stand?" Sam nodded. Daniel could not believe what he was hearing. Sensible, responsible Samantha Carter had a one-night stand. Presumably an unprotected one-night stand seeing as she was in her current predicament. "Are you sure?"

Sam nodded. "I took precautions after Jack."

Daniel shook his head and looked down at the floor, unable to meet her sad eyes at the moment. He truly could not believe what he was hearing; not only had she had un-protected sex with a stranger, but from her wording she had also had unprotected sex with Jack. Part of him could understand how she had been so upset that she had sought out comfort from a stranger, but the irresponsibility of not being careful. All he could assume was that she had been blind drunk. "And you didn't take precautions during with a stranger? How drunk were you?"

Sam closed her eyes so that she could not see his reaction. "I wasn't thinking. I know that it's unlike me, but I got so drunk. I just wanted to forget Jack and the fact that I'd opened myself up to him just to have him betray me. I never for one second considered the consequences."

"Have you told him?" Daniel asked and Sam shook her head. "You have to, you know." His voice softened, looking at her emotionally vulnerable eyes.

"I know, but I can't."

"I'll come with you, okay?" She opened her eyes and smiled at Daniel. Whatever he thought of her actions he was still her friend and he always would be.

*End Flashback*

O'Neill nodded as Daniel recounted what had happened. "Definitely not mine then?"

"Nope," Daniel shook his head feeling sorry for his friend. Neither man had any idea if it would make it easier for Carter's unborn child to be O'Neill's or not.

"Is she … with this Brad guy?" O'Neill asked, trying to keep his voice strong and hard. He could not show his emotions now despite how Daniel would jump to his own conclusions as to his reasons for wanting these answers.

"No," Daniel shook his head. "Brad's around because of the child and as far as I know that's it. Why?" Daniel had his suspicions as to why O'Neill was asking these questions, why he had returned to Earth and why he had taken so long to visit Carter. He would let O'Neill answer with whatever lie he wanted though.

Because he still cared for Carter. A lot more than he wanted to right now, O'Neill thought to himself. "Just curious. I need to know what's going on with my team, don't I?" That was assuming that Carter was still a member of SG-1, a thought which O'Neill did not want to spend too much time mulling over.

"Why did you come back, Jack?" Daniel asked suspiciously. He knew that O'Neill must realize that Carter might not ever return to SG-1 and that none of them knew what the future held in that respect. It was true that it could be argued that O'Neill was curious about his friend, but Daniel was not dumb. Daniel knew that their friendship had been altered nine months ago and it would not be fixed overnight. There was a possibility that their friendship would never be fixed.

"I told you, I missed…" he paused, readying himself for the now standard lie. "Earth and life with Laira wasn't what I expected."

"You never have explained that."

O'Neill rolled his eyes and decided to give part of the truth, seeing as how so much had changed in the past day that whatever he said right now would have to be his reason for ever. "Laira knew that I wasn't there because I felt anything for her, only for our son. She knew that I'd left Earth and didn't want to go back. That gave her power over me." O'Neill paused, remembering some of the things that she had done, how she had made him work so hard with promises of seeing his son. The fact was that for the eight months he lived with Laira and her people, he had rarely ever seen his son. After eight months of putting up with her demands, her broken promises and ultimatums, O'Neill had given his own ultimatum: See his son on a regular basis or he would leave. She had laughed him off saying that there was nothing on Earth for him anymore. He soon realised that he had acted angrily and with too much haste when he left Earth, but he stuck it out for the sake of his child. After eight months of putting his child first with no results and the urges to return home to SG-1 and Carter growing stronger, O'Neill had left. "Basically, she became a bitch. She never let me see my son. She had me … I was like a slave and one day I cracked and left."

"It had nothing to do with Sam then?" Daniel asked. He did not fully doubt what O'Neill had just said, but he did not believe that it was that simple.

O'Neill considered his friend briefly and knew what the answer had to be given his new reason for returning. "No and she doesn't know anything about me and Laira not getting on. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her or anyone."

Daniel nodded, understanding that O'Neill was a complex person. Just then his phone rang. He picked it up. "Doctor Jackson here," he answered.

"Daniel, it's me Sam."

"Sam, hi," he greeted. Daniel looked up at O'Neill and the other man nodded before leaving the room, sensing the need for privacy. Daniel had a sense of déjà vu coming over him.

"Is someone else there?" she asked.

"No," he replied truthfully. "What can I do for you?" he asked, already knowing what she was about to ask.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he asked innocently, sitting down in the nearest chair.

"How long has he been back?" she asked.

Daniel considered which route he should take. Should he try explaining things first or just give her the answers, allowing her to ask for any extra details she might want? "About a month."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked again. Daniel could hear the anger and irritation in her voice.

"He asked me not to. Sam, I couldn't betray his-"

"I know," she cut him off. "What did you tell him about Brad?"

Daniel was puzzled about her question, but then technically he knew for a fact how Carter had felt about O'Neill and how she probably still felt about him. "That he was there because of the child. Does it matter?"

There was a long pause, which puzzled Daniel even more. "I guess not."

"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel asked. Throughout the past nine months, Carter had maintained to Daniel that she did not care about O'Neill, that any feelings there had been were long gone. Daniel had never fully believed her and now he believed her even less.

"I'm fine, Daniel. Look, I've got to go. Bye." She hung up without waiting for Daniel to say goodbye.

"Goodbye," Daniel whispered to a dead line. He replaced the receiver and stared at the telephone. It was evident to him that both of his two best friends cared deeply for the other, but neither would admit it and that things were going to get worse before they had any chance of getting better. Daniel tried to hold onto the thought that at least now both of his friends were here. Maybe more heartache for everyone involved would be necessary for them all to remain connected to each other. O'Neill and Carter each meant a lot to Daniel so at least now he had both of them in his life again. He could only hope that things between the pair did not get too much worse because he could not cope with leading a double life and hiding details of one from the other.

X X X X X

Jack was unsure of what to do. He had planned to return to Earth, make contact with Carter and then tell her how he felt. That had changed slightly upon his arrival as he had reminded himself of her betrayal, of how he had lost all respect for her and had felt the fear associated with admitting his feelings. Quickly after returning, Jack had remembered that she had declared her love for him and he had been interrupted and had never said it in response. Whilst he did not see that as a complete excuse for her actions, he did understand how people could react rashly when in pain. He had then acted like a coward and remained hidden on the base. It had taken him the month to build up his courage and convince himself that she had not truly betrayed him. He would never be able to forget her sleeping with another man - Brad - the very next night after sleeping with him, but he could forgive. Now, if Carter and he had been in a full-on proper relationship it would be a different story.

When he had gone around to her house that morning, Jack had been prepared to tell her that he loved her and that it was partly for her that he had returned. He had not been so optimistic that he had believed that they would begin a relationship right there and then, but he had believed that it would have been the beginning of their future and maybe correcting the past. He had believed wrong. It turned out that there was nothing for him with Laira and nothing here on Earth either.

How could he admit that he loved her now? Now that she was pregnant with someone else's child. Admittedly, she was not romantically involved with the father of her unborn child, but Jack could not tell her now. That was why he had lied about his reasons for coming home. He could not tell her that he loved her.

He could not.

Jack was so deep in thought that he only missed bumping into Lieutenant Carpenter because she was paying attention.

"Whoa, Colonel!"

"Hmm?" Jack mumbled his train of thought now broken as he blinked to see who was standing in front of him. "Sorry, Lieutenant, didn't see you there."

"No problem, Colonel," she replied and continued on her way.

Jack remained standing in the corridor for a moment longer before continuing on to the commissary. Once there, Jack took a seat at one of the tables. What was he supposed to do now? He could not foresee returning to work with Carter. It had been one thing working side-by-side with her while wanting her and loving her from a distance, putting everything into a room which was never entered. But working with her while knowing that she had another man's baby, he could not do that. Maybe he would be better off returning to Laira.

X X X X X

O'Neill cursed loudly as he ran down the corridor of the SGC. He felt like he had been running for days. He probably had. Three days ago, SG-1 had gated to P5T-597 and had immediately found themselves under attack. It had then taken three days before they had managed to get back to Earth safely. His team had incurred injuries. O'Neill's were not serious, he had a few scratches and bruises but that was all. Daniel's injuries were slightly more serious and it was believed that he had a broken rib, along with bruises and minor cuts. Lieutenant Carpenter had a minor wound to her stomach and she was on the gurney following behind O'Neill. Teal'c was the worst off. He had incurred at least three wounds from enemy weapons and he had fallen unconscious just before they had managed to get to the Gate. Teal'c was on the gurney that O'Neill was running alongside of.

"Will you get out the way!" O'Neill shouted at some other airman who could not see the large group of medics running down the corridor with two injured officers. O'Neill had to bite his tongue from shouting another obscenity at the airmen. What were they, blind and death? When they got to the infirmary, the chief medical officer came running over.

"Oh my God," Doctor Janet Fraiser said as soon as she saw Teal'c lying on the gurney. "Into OR-one," she commanded before turning to the gurney with Carpenter on.

"I'm okay," Carpenter said before wincing in pain.

Fraiser nodded, assessing the lieutenant's injuries and then sending her somewhere else. She then turned to O'Neill. "Colonel, remain here. A nurse will see to you." She then turned to Daniel Jackson who had come in on the third gurney. O'Neill knew that it was never a good thing to be the only one of four from a team to not need a gurney or serious medical attention.

O'Neill nodded to himself and sat himself down on the nearest bed. After only a few minutes, the room quietened down and he was alone. Lowering his forehead into his hands, O'Neill contemplated everything that had happened to lead to his unit needing to return under these circumstances. He sat there beginning to get bored with his thoughts when someone entered the room.

"Colonel?"

O'Neill turned to the doorway at Carter's concerned tone. He must look filthy, covered in blood and dirt. Thankfully not much of the blood was his. "Carter," he replied and she entered the room a bit more. "What are you doing here?"

"Came for a check-up. Janet's still my Doctor. I am the first human to travel through the Gate regularly and become pregnant. Plus, there's the whole Jolinar thing. Janet's testing me all the time seeing if there are significant differences."

"Any?" O'Neill asked. He had not seen Carter since that day at her house and he now felt uncomfortable around her. While in her presence, O'Neill had to maintain the lie of still being with Laira. He was also finding it hard to deal with the fact that the woman he loved was pregnant with another man's child.

"Not yet. Apparently neither Gate travel nor being blended has effects on fertility or any stage of pregnancy. As of yet," Carter added as she sat down on the bed opposite O'Neill.

"The birth?" he questioned.

Carter nodded. "Personally, I'm hoping that they ease the process of labour."

O'Neill smiled and looked up. Carter was smiling, too. As soon as they both realised, their smiles faded and an uncomfortable silence took over. "So, what's going on anyway?" Carter asked after a long time had passed.

"SG-1 came under attack, as usual. Danny and I are fine, well he broke a rib." O'Neill noticed that Carter could not help but smile at his normally flippant tone, making him momentarily forget about their change in circumstance. "Carpenter got a wound, maybe two. Teal'c … he got a few more."

"Oh my God, are they going to be okay?" Carter asked, concern etching her face.

"Probably, you know Teal'c. He recovers from anything."

Carter nodded. "So, how have you been?" she asked. She hated to admit it to herself, but she had missed him. She had spent nine months lying to Daniel that she felt nothing for O'Neill and now she had to continue lying. She could not admit to loving someone who was in love with someone else. It was bad enough that she had already opened her heart to him to be rejected. She had a constant thought in the back of her mind that he was still laughing at her over that fact.

O'Neill was slightly taken aback by her question. He had not expected her to still care, but obviously she did. Then he reminded himself, even after everything they could still manage to be friends which was what he had originally gone to see her regarding. Just because their aborted attempt at being something more had failed so miserably it did not mean that they could not attempt to patch up a new friendship. O'Neill longed to say that he had missed her, but he could not. Just because she cared for him did not mean that she still loved him. He had a lie to maintain and he could not break it. He could not admit to loving the woman sitting opposite to him and ruin any chance of a friendship. "I'm fine. I've re-adjusted to Earth, but I miss my son. And Laira," he added quickly to maintain the lie. "I miss the comforts of home, even though this is home too." He was a crap liar, or at least he never believed his own lies.

Carter shifted in her seat. He missed Laira and his son. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Carter wished that the child she carried was O'Neill's or that he could leave Laira for her. It was only ever a wish though. A wish that Carter still had now. "Well, Janet will probably be a while, so I may as well go home." Carter stood up rather clumsily and then added. "Give my best to the others, won't you?"

"Sure," O'Neill nodded. He hung his head in shame. He hated this situation. He wanted to take back the past nine months. He wanted to relive everything and never sleep with Carter, never ruin their friendship. If he could have her as just a friend, he would do anything. He had once admitted to caring for Carter a lot more than he was supposed to given their positions within the military. He had then cared more than he had wanted to because of her betrayal. Now, he still cared more then he wanted to and was supposed to because he could not do anything about it. She was pregnant with another man's child. He had to try and forget about her.

X X X X X

Carter had only just reached the elevator when the red alert signals had begun sounding. The lights around her dimmed and the red lights started flashing. Within the blink of an eye, airmen began running past her in every direction.

"Oh, crap," she mumbled to herself, one hand stroking her stomach. Her first instinct was to get to the weapon's locker, get a weapon and protect the base. Then a stronger instinct kicked in - that of a mother. She had to protect herself and her child. She would not be able to leave the base now, so she had to get to somewhere else safe. Whilst the infirmary would probably get very busy, it may be the safest place for her so she turned to head back there.

"Carter!" she heard someone call her name. Carter looked up through the red coloured darkness and saw O'Neill running towards her.

"Colonel?" she questioned. He was second in command of the base and as such, his place now was with command, or leading an attack against whatever was wrong.

"I figured that you'd still be here," he explained as he approached her. "We should get you some place safe."

Carter smiled slightly and nodded, knowing that now was not the time to question his actions. "Where do you suggest?"

O'Neill shrugged and scanned the corridor, thinking of somewhere. He knew that the infirmary would be a good place, but it was already a busy place and depending on what exactly was occurring, it could be due to get a lot more hectic. If he could manage to make it up a level to Carter's laboratory, he would feel comfortable then leaving her alone there. Closer to the main entrance would also be useful if there were any chance of Carter escaping, but that was a very long way up. All SFs on the base would be too preoccupied to concentrate on Carter at the present time. O'Neill knew that he should be more concerned with the base itself than Carter's safety, but it did not stop him. He gently took hold of Carter's arm so that he would be able to guide her to wherever he found.

"What's going on?" Carter asked over the noise of klaxons and distant weapon's fire.

"We're under attack from the guys from P5T-597." He realised that the weapon's fire was coming from their left and it was getting closer. Still with no plan of where to go, he just started walking fast in the opposite direction to the enemy. He had to get Carter out of harm's way. He would never forgive himself if anything were to happen to her. Normally he would be more concerned with protecting the base, but for some reason Carter was more important to him. Maybe his time with Laira had changed him; either that or his feelings for Carter were getting too out of control. Or, he tried to reason to himself, O'Neill knew that whilst she could still handle a gun and protect herself there would be no one else on base whose first priority was to her. Even if he were to make it a direct order, everyone on base would make the base their first priority. He knew that as soon as he knew that she was safe, he would turn his entire attention to the base.

"Where?" Carter asked, walking as fast as was possible in her heavily pregnant state.

"Where SG-1 just were. I was in the infirmary when the klaxons sounded. It soon started to fill up with injuries. That's why we have to find somewhere else," he explained. "Maybe get you out of here. I still had my off-world gear, so I ran."

"To me?" Carter asked.

O'Neill stopped walking and Carter wondered if it was because of her comment. "In here," O'Neill ordered opening the door to a small closet. Carter did as she was told and O'Neill followed her in, closing the door behind him. His voice lowered to a whisper as he spoke, "Yes, I came straight to you. I had to make sure that you were okay."

"Oh."

The small room was dark and there was no light source due to the red alert. O'Neill thought that it was a store cupboard of some sort. Hopefully he could find somewhere Carter could sit down. Once he knew that she was safe, he could continue on with his job. "Let's find you somewhere to sit."

"Thanks, my feet are hating me being pregnant." She soon felt his hand touch her arm gently to guide her to something on which she could sit. "Thank you," she repeated.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, still keeping his voice low. He could not yet hear the aliens approaching, but the noises from outside were getting louder.

Their eyes had not adjusted to the darkness yet, but Carter could sense that he had crouched down to speak to her on her level. "Why? Where are you going?" She could not even try and hide the fear in her voice.

"Back out there."

"Oh." She could not deny to herself that she did not want him to leave. She did not want to be on her own and she did not want to get found by the enemy. O'Neill was the only one she trusted to protect her and yet she knew that he had a job to do.

"Here," O'Neill whispered, placing something in her hand. "I'll leave the radio with you." He paused a moment and then passed her the only gun that he still had on him from his earlier mission. He passed it to her, knowing that even though he would be unarmed when he left this room, he could easily find another weapon. "Take this too, just in case, okay?"

Carter could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Carter had spent most of her career trying to prove that she was as capable as the men surrounding her and now it was her femininity making her this emotional and incapable. She hated these hormones. "No," she replied, "it is not okay."

X X X X X

Daniel winced as he rounded a corner. He should not be doing anything this active while having a broken rib. Medically, it was not advised. This situation was different though. The base was under attack. Somehow the hostiles from P5T had managed to get through the iris and out of the gate room. If Janet had not been so preoccupied with casualties, she would have stopped Daniel from leaving the infirmary due to his injuries. The hostiles had a weapon similar to the Jaffa staff weapon, but it went deeper than the staff. That was what Teal'c, Carpenter and some of the base personnel had been hit with and Daniel was unsure if anyone had died from it yet. Whilst the staff weapon had a minor ability to cauterize a wound after inflicting it, this alien weapon had an almost blood thinning ability, preventing the wounds from clotting.

There was also another weapon that emitted an electrical discharge like the Zat gun, but one shot was fatal. To make it even more horrendous, the discharge lasted for at least a minute, torturing the sufferer until they died. Daniel had not seen that weapon in action on P5T, but he had in the SGC twice. Those poor men, Daniel thought. He had no idea who these hostiles were or how they had this amazing high level of technology. SG-1 had only been on P5T for a few moments before a flock of armed and black-masked aliens had come charging over a hill. The M.A.L.P had not shown any civilization near the Stargate, but obviously there had been further from it or the aliens had come from elsewhere. Daniel was not sure how the aliens had known that SG-1 had arrived on their planet. Maybe they had sensors indicating that the Stargate had been activated and had come in response to the M.A.L.P. Daniel still questioned their level of technology and similarity to the Goa'uld, and also how they had managed to penetrate Earth defences so quickly and seemingly easy. He had no idea if anyone had even survived in the Gate or control room.

Daniel and five airmen paused at another corner. Two airmen peered around the corner first, both firing their guns at hostiles in front of them. By the time that Daniel moved around the corner there was only one hostile still alive. Daniel fired his gun three times, taking the hostile out and then approached the alien he had just killed. Feeling remorse and guilt for having murdered someone, Daniel bent down to remove the mask that had covered the face of every hostile he had seen. He knew that it was illogical to feel guilty about killing someone who had intended to kill you first, but Daniel would prefer to simply wound and incapacitate an enemy. From what Daniel had seen from afar the aliens from P5T stood and had the stance of humans. He removed the face mask and saw a feminine looking human face staring blankly at him, the eyes motionless and lifeless but still trying to penetrate his own eyes. There was nothing distinguishable about the face and there was no hair on it – no head of hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes.

From behind them, a group of hostiles appeared, taking out three of the five airmen with whom Daniel had been fighting. Daniel fired his gun continuously, felling two of the hostiles and then found his gun out of ammunition. The two airmen beside him soon hit this stumbling block, too and the three of them dropped their weapons and held their arms and hands out. Daniel hoped that the human looking alien race understood the gesture of surrender, but he doubted it when he found himself staring down the barrel of the enemy's discharge weapon with no way of defending himself.

X X X X X

"Excuse me?" O'Neill asked, managing to keep his voice to a whisper even though Carter was getting louder.

"I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be on my own," she admitted, whispering again.

"Carter, the base is under attack. Other people need me."

"I need you. I don't want to be alone in here and get killed or sit here listening to all the people I know and care about getting killed right outside that door. I don't want my child to get killed and I don't trust anyone else to protect me." She was beginning to raise her voice again.

"Carter, you keep shouting like that and they will find us," O'Neill snapped in his military voice. He immediately regretted shouting at her in that way. "I'm sorry."

"No, I am," Carter wailed. "It's these hormones. I just want this baby out of me so I can get back to normal. So that instead of hiding in a damn cupboard I can actually do my job." She was trying her hardest to not cry and to not shout and scream at him, but she was panicking. It was a new sensation for her and she decided instantly that she did not like it. She felt helpless, anxious, nervous and petrified. She desperately wanted to be tough Major Carter again.

"Carter," O'Neill began as Carter started to cry. "Sam," he amended, placing a hand on her cheek, "it's okay. I'll stay with you. I promise that I won't leave, okay?"

Carter liked feeling his hand on her cheek. It was a source of comfort and it reminded her of their one and only night together. She really wished that things had not gone as they had. She did not mean that fully. If things had been different then she would not be pregnant and she would never regret having the child that she carried. Carter closed her eyes as she moved against O'Neill's hand, rubbing her cheek against his hand. Even though it had only been one night she still missed the feel of his soft caress, the way his lips felt against hers. "Jack?" she whispered.

She rarely ever called him by his first name so when she did, it made him take notice. He did not fully trust his own voice, but he spoke anyway. "Yeah?" he asked in a husky whisper. She did not reply at first, but he could feel her moving closer to him. Due to the darkness, O'Neill guided her face to meet his. He had no idea if this was what she wanted or had planned, but he had the desire to kiss her and she could stop him if she wanted.

Carter knew what was about to happen. She was about to kiss him again. She found it easy to push everything to the back of her mind and think only about the moment she was in. "Kiss me," she breathed and their lips met. It was a slow, explorative kiss. Her hands came up to his face as she pulled him closer. He removed his lips from hers and she instantly felt bereft and confused. Everything made sense when she felt his lips kiss their way along her jaw line and onto her neck. She moaned in pleasure as he kissed her throat and then in pain as he nibbled where he had just kissed.

O'Neill pulled away from Carter as she gasped in pain. He had only nibbled gently and was now confused. "Sam?" he asked his voice throaty.

"Uh-oh," she whispered.

"What?"

"Not now."

"What?" he repeated slightly impatiently.

"Umm, I think I'm in labour," Carter answered, her voice pained.

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

X X X X X

End Chapter One.