Dancing Fools 3
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos. Dancing with the Stars belongs to ABC.
Chapter 1: We're Doing this Again?
Cyclops asked,
"OK, does anyone know why he called us here?"
Wolverine shrugged,
"Beats me, Slim."
Cyclops glared,
"I hate that nickname."
Jean growled,
"Oh, I hate Persiana13! After what happened to me the last time…" (1)
Emma chuckled,
"That was quite an interesting display of power from that nice young man. I think this Diablos did that just to spite you."
Jean sneered,
"Up yours, Frost!"
The author entered with Farrah,
Ladies, ladies. Don't start fighting now. I have to get the cameras ready. And, maybe sell tickets.
Beast rolled his eyes,
"As professionally insane as ever, I take it."
Got it, Cookie Monster.
Farrah waved,
"Hey, Beast!"
Beast nodded a greeting,
"Salutations, Farrah. How are you faring?"
Farrah shrugged,
"Well, it's all right. Just been a bit busy. You know, the boss writing I'm an emotionally charged wreck and just getting my life back together. How are things for you, Simba?"
Beast tugged on his collar nervously,
"Uh…uh…"
Jean raised her eyebrow,
"Simba? Is there something you want to tell us, Henry?"
Beast shook his head,
"I really don't know what you're talking about."
Farrah grinned,
"Come on. You remember when we first met. I called you Simba. You were all blushing and everything. You liked it."
Beast harshly whispered,
"Farrah, don't talk about that now."
Diablos walked in,
"Is there something I should hear about this, Farrah?"
Farrah turned,
"How did-?"
Diablos folded his arms,
"I'm a telepath. I know stuff."
Cyclops said,
"So does Layla Miller."
He got hit with a bean bag,
"OW! What was that for?"
Do you really want me to go down the list? I could take up fifty pages with reasons why I don't like you.
Farrah scratched her head,
"Does he even have fans?"
There's always a fan for everyone, even the really lame characters like Quicksilver.
Quicksilver shouted off camera,
"Hey! You're not being very nice!"
Up yours, Streaky, or I release those…photos.
Quicksilver, off camera, was horrified,
"You wouldn't! You're horrible!"
He ran away. Emma asked,
"What photos exactly?"
Have you ever wondered out which team Quicksilver plays for? Well, I found out.
Wolverine groaned,
"I don't even want to know now."
Jean glared at Diablos,
"You! You humiliated me!"
Diablos adjusted his glasses,
"I wasn't the one that attacked Firebird like that."
Jean powered up,
"You know who I am! I AM PHOENIX!"
The visage of the phoenix formed. Diablos rolled his eyes, pulled out a fire hose, and sprayed Jean with it,
"Now, you're all wet!"
Jean looked at herself,
"I'm soaked!"
Hey, knock it off, you two. All right, you know the drill. Farrah and I have compiled a list of couples to dance this season.
Cyclops grumbled,
"Oh, joy. This'll be good."
He got hit with a mallet,
"OW!"
Silence! Now, our first couple dancing is…Thunderbird and Hepzibah!
Hepzibah blinked,
"Seriously? Well, that's odd."
I read that X-men story Extremists, and let me tell you; there's certainly a lot of chemistry between you two.
Thunderbird asked,
"You do realize she was only into me because we were underground for so long; her instincts nearly took over, right?"
I could always pair you up with Northstar-.
Thunderbird shook his head,
"No, I'm not complaining."
I figured you wouldn't. All right, the second couple is…Havok and Polaris.
Polaris grunted,
"No surprise there."
Third up is…Scarlet Witch and Nightcrawler!
Scarlet Witch shook her head,
"I'm not even an X-man. I'm an Avenger."
Hey, what can I say? I needed filler. Besides, you two are a couple in one reality.
Nightcrawler said,
"We have a child, Talia."
Nocturne. Yeah, I'm hoping they bring her back. Sucks what happened to her.
Nightcrawler asked,
"What happened to her?"
She had a stroke and is now recovering in another reality. Anyway, let's get back to the couples. Here are two I am looking forward to seeing; Jean Grey and Wolverine…
Cyclops was shocked,
"WHAT? She's my wife!"
This is coming from the guy that cheated on his wife with Emma Frost, of all women.
Emma asked,
"What's wrong with me?"
Farrah began counting on her fingers,
"You dress like a slut…"
Jean said,
"White is not your color…"
You ran a school of evil mutant children to try and attack the New Mutants…
Wolverine continued,
"You were a leader in the Hellfire Club…"
Beast added,
"You have the worst tastes in opera and classical music…"
And let's not forget all those times in other people's fan fics that you're an overall egotistical, self-centered, maniacal, worthless, insensitive piece of trash that should be run over repeatedly in the street across broken glass and carpenter nails.
The author paused,
I take that back; it's too good for you, so, I'm having you pair up with Cyclops. That's a more suitable punishment.
Jean asked,
"Have you lost your mind?"
Farrah said,
"This is my boss we're talking about."
Yeah, let's get down to the final two couples for this show.
The author looked at list and smiled evilly,
Well, here's a blast from your past, Frosty. Justice and Firestar!
Firestar ran on stage,
"Bitch! Die!"
She tackled Emma Frost, a cat-fight breaking out. Justice blushed hotly,
"Uh, uh, uh…"
I wonder why that's in there. Oh, well. I figure it'd be worth something to someone. Any way, our final couple for the evening…Shadowcat and Colossus!
Shadowcat grinned,
"Cool! That's awesome!"
Gambit raised his hand,
"Hold up! Why not the Gambit and chere?"
Huh, good question. I guess you're not as marketable as people think you are.
Rogue questioned,
"Excuse meh? Marketable? What about Wolverine?"
What about him?
Rogue shouted,
"He's overrated!"
I don't care. He's on and you're not. Get used to it. Anyway, when we return, we meet our judges for this season of Dancing Fools: X-men edition!
Cyclops groaned,
"Completely insane!"
He got hit with a mallet and fell unconscious.
Next Chapter:
Meet the Judges!
(1) Read Dancing Fools 2