NCIS "Dead man walking" a Tony and Ziva Fan Fiction

Ziva's POV

I had just left the hospital, Roy's death I hate to admit has actually taken a poll on me, wait poll I do not know if that is the right word. If Tony was here he would correct me as usual. Tony, I know he was only trying to help when he was at the hospital earlier, I could have gone a little bit easier on him. He did help when I wanted to take Roy outside; I wonder how he got himself out of that one. Mossad has taught to be tough, emotionless and made of tin… no steel, steel that is definitely the right word. Since moving to America, NCIS well Tony has taught me it is OK to be sad sometimes and let emotions flow. Tony… god why do I keep thinking about him tonight? Is it because I feel guilty about the way I have treated him today or maybe because deep down I would not mind if he was here to comfort me right now.

So that is how I ended up at Tony's apartment and knocked on his door. He probably is not home, he is probably out with his girlfriend, and OK I just sounded very jealous. I knocked again. That's when the door opened…

"Oh hey Zi, you OK?" first he sounded his usual happy self, and then he sounded concerned. I remembered that I have being crying, he can probably tell.

"Roy passed away" I said slowly and sadly. He looked sympathetic and led me inside. He sat me down on his coach and sat next to me himself.

"I'm really sorry Zi, I know how close you two got," he looked at me, like he knew I wanted to open up to him, I did of coarse but I also did not want to seem weak. "If you open up to me and let me help, you will not seem weak trust me. It is normal to feel this way." Can he read my mind? That is exactly what I was thinking. Though he has told me it is OK, so maybe it is.

"Well, I used to see him every day. He would be running in the opposite direction to me, wearing his bright orange beanie," I could feel my eyes starting to water and my vision going blurry. "I just cannot believe he is gone. We were as you said getting very close." He moved closer to me and put his hand on my knee.

"It is OK to cry, I am here for you Zi." That is when the tears starting flowing out my eyes, Tony moved closer again and put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I put my head on his chest, his OSU shirt getting soaked. He has whispering soothing words to me; he had one hand in my hair and the other running over my head trying to calm me down. "It's OK Zi." I started calming down and I could feel the tears stopping, I pulled myself up from him and looked him in the eye.

"I also wanted to apologise Tony." I had to apologise for the way I acted towards him today.

"What for Zi? You didn't do anything wrong." He said to me still holding me close.

"I treated you really badly today Tony. You were just trying to be nice and look out for me and I just yelled at you." I said feeling slightly ashamed of myself.

"Hey you did NOT say anything wrong," he said putting emphasis on the not. "I would've done the same thing if it were me." He said looking me right in the eye. I gave him a hug. I was right, being here is making me feel better.

"Thank you Tony." I said smiling, the first time I have smiled today, well apart from when I was outside with Roy, just before I took him back into his hospital room and watched him pass away. He smiled his big goofy grin at me and said,

"That's what I'm here for, I'm your partner. I'm here whenever you need me to be." He is the only person that has really ever been so nice to me. We just there smiling at each other. "Hey you wanna stay? Watch a movie? A happy movie." He said with hope. I nodded my head. He smiled and started to get up to put a movie in, before his phone rang. He went and answered it.

"Hey, what's up?" He said and turned away from me. Must be the girlfriend. Great I was hoping for a nice night with Tony, just him being there for me. He spoke again,

"Now?" she must have asked him to meet up. Great.

"Sorry, I can't," I think I need to get my hearing checked did he just turn her down. "Yeah, I'm busy. I have a really close friend over. A friend of hers passed away today, she's a bit upset" He said turning back round to smiling at him. I started feeling tears falling out of my eyes again. I smiled back.

"Yeah, OK, Bye." He said and hung up. He walked over to his plasma, put in a DVD and sat back down with me.

"I'm sorry about that" he said looking at the TV.

"It is OK Tony, but you did not have to turn her down because of me." He turned at me and smiled.

"It's OK, remember what I said… I am here for you always." I smiled and then snuggled back into him.

"Roy's death, it has kind of, well really taken a poll on me." I said still not sure about that word. He laughed and faced me,

"Toll ZiZi, really taken its toll on me," he stopped laughing and added, "That's understandable. Come on, let's watch the movie, it's a funny one and you need some giggles."

Just that made me giggle and I never giggle. This is probably why he looked at me funny, but just pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. He was right as normal about his movies, this is funny… and it feels good.