R: Swearing, homosexual gayness, talk about bestiality and sex in general.
Yay!
The stuff about Warhammer is most likely really misguided. Do you "battle" with the metal bits? Can someone actually win or is it just humongous waste of time?
Oh, and I own them not, for they belong to eachother. Aww! And some evil multinational corp.s, like Tolkien and them Newline people.
Let's go!
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"Haha!" yelled Aragorn while jumping up and down on the bed in celebration of his greatest victory up to date. "I knew I could beat your ass in Warhammer! Yess!" Legolas sulked and complained: "That was hardly fair! You gave me only the women and children to fight with." Aragorn put his tongue out and said:"Well you should have brought your own figurines with you. That'll teach you to travel without them." Then he said huskily (or maybe his voice was just croaky after yelling all night, commanding his troops against Legolas's): "Now can I get my price?"
He lied next to Legolas and started to undo his breeches. "Wait! Wait! Where's the romance? Where are the longing looks and sweet declarations of undying love?" said Legolas, because he was a great big sap. Aragorn stopped and looked at Legolas suspiciously eyeing for marks of the elf pulling his leg. Seeing none he sighed and said: "Yes yes. Ofcourse. You go first." He hoped this wasn't going to take long for he was quite worked up after all that Warhammer.
"Ah, Aragorn, je voudrais me cacher dans tes cheveux et..." said Legolas (who had heard that French was supposed to be a sexy and romantic language) in a singsongy manner but was cut off by Aragorn: "Hold it right there! That's disgusting! I do not wish to know of your longing to bugger my horses! Geez, you are one pervo! And I don't even have horses..." Aragorn trailed off into muttering about how he once had a hamster, but never horses.
Legolas looked at Aragorn with deep sorrow in his eyes and said in a strained voice: "No Aragorn, that would be "chevaux" and I said "cheveux". I said I'd like to bury myself in your hair, not your horses, you dimwit! On second thought: Yes, that is disgusting" He frowned and examined Aragorn's hair. "When did you last take a shower, love muffin?""Well, dirt's all manly... it makes me dead butch ("Hey! I'm the dead butch!" yelled offended Boromir. Author reminded him that it wasn't that part of the story yet. Boromir apologized, sat down and continued watching the show and stuffing popcorn in his mouth)" Aragorn defended himself and made a butch face (Alright, he pouted like a little girl. And batted his eyelashes)."Seems all pigly to me," said Legolas and added: "And I'm not turned on by pigs, if that's what your thinking" "No, not like horses." Aragorn teased the elf, lamely.
"I think I've had enough of this romantic crap. Let's get it on!" said Legolas. "At last!" exlaimed Aragorn. "Now ride me like the stallion I am!" Legolas groaned in annoyance. "Please, love, are you conciously trying to turn me off!" Much to Legolas's pleasure Aragorn shut up and they had sex. With no animals included. Except for the lice in Aragorn's hair.
The next morning they left for the quest to destroy some stupid ring and defend some idiotic towns no-one even cared about. Atleast there was some quality make-out in the bushes.
"And I am an elf, not a bleedin' fairy!" said Legolas. Good thing we got that straightened out.
The stuff about Warhammer is most likely really misguided. Do you "battle" with the metal bits? Can someone actually win or is it just humongous waste of time?
Oh, and I own them not, for they belong to eachother. Aww! And some evil multinational corp.s, like Tolkien and them Newline people.
Let's go!
---------------------
"Haha!" yelled Aragorn while jumping up and down on the bed in celebration of his greatest victory up to date. "I knew I could beat your ass in Warhammer! Yess!" Legolas sulked and complained: "That was hardly fair! You gave me only the women and children to fight with." Aragorn put his tongue out and said:"Well you should have brought your own figurines with you. That'll teach you to travel without them." Then he said huskily (or maybe his voice was just croaky after yelling all night, commanding his troops against Legolas's): "Now can I get my price?"
He lied next to Legolas and started to undo his breeches. "Wait! Wait! Where's the romance? Where are the longing looks and sweet declarations of undying love?" said Legolas, because he was a great big sap. Aragorn stopped and looked at Legolas suspiciously eyeing for marks of the elf pulling his leg. Seeing none he sighed and said: "Yes yes. Ofcourse. You go first." He hoped this wasn't going to take long for he was quite worked up after all that Warhammer.
"Ah, Aragorn, je voudrais me cacher dans tes cheveux et..." said Legolas (who had heard that French was supposed to be a sexy and romantic language) in a singsongy manner but was cut off by Aragorn: "Hold it right there! That's disgusting! I do not wish to know of your longing to bugger my horses! Geez, you are one pervo! And I don't even have horses..." Aragorn trailed off into muttering about how he once had a hamster, but never horses.
Legolas looked at Aragorn with deep sorrow in his eyes and said in a strained voice: "No Aragorn, that would be "chevaux" and I said "cheveux". I said I'd like to bury myself in your hair, not your horses, you dimwit! On second thought: Yes, that is disgusting" He frowned and examined Aragorn's hair. "When did you last take a shower, love muffin?""Well, dirt's all manly... it makes me dead butch ("Hey! I'm the dead butch!" yelled offended Boromir. Author reminded him that it wasn't that part of the story yet. Boromir apologized, sat down and continued watching the show and stuffing popcorn in his mouth)" Aragorn defended himself and made a butch face (Alright, he pouted like a little girl. And batted his eyelashes)."Seems all pigly to me," said Legolas and added: "And I'm not turned on by pigs, if that's what your thinking" "No, not like horses." Aragorn teased the elf, lamely.
"I think I've had enough of this romantic crap. Let's get it on!" said Legolas. "At last!" exlaimed Aragorn. "Now ride me like the stallion I am!" Legolas groaned in annoyance. "Please, love, are you conciously trying to turn me off!" Much to Legolas's pleasure Aragorn shut up and they had sex. With no animals included. Except for the lice in Aragorn's hair.
The next morning they left for the quest to destroy some stupid ring and defend some idiotic towns no-one even cared about. Atleast there was some quality make-out in the bushes.
"And I am an elf, not a bleedin' fairy!" said Legolas. Good thing we got that straightened out.