Hey, this is a fic that had crossed my mind at 3AM so I don't know if it's any good but anyway, Hope you like
''If I start crying, I don't think I'll ever stop !'' I scream at Coach Beiste
I sit on one of the blanch and I start crying. The coach sit beside me.
''I can't take it... What chance do I have of not being an idiot and hurting people without him around to remind me who I really am ?''
''You just got to do that for yourself now... and see yourself how he saw you.'' She say
'' It's not good enough for me ! It's not like when he was alive.''
''You got to make it good enough, because it's all we got left. And I'm telling you this straight, 'cause that how you and I talk. He's dead... and all we've got left is his voice in our head. I'm sorry but it's time you got to be you own quarterback.''
I let go, I can't hold it anymore, my best friend is dead. How am I suppose to deal with this ? After a good half hour crying with me the coach left me to go back with the glee club. I try to get myself together, without much success.
''I miss him too.'' say a voice I've always recognized
I turn around and spot Rachel standing at the door.
''Rachel...'' I say, no idea what to do.
Losing my brother was hard but her, she lost her one true love. How does one recover from this ? How did she even found the strength to come back here when this place hold so much memory ? I get up on my feet, walk up to her and I take her in my arms. I don't say anything, what is there to say ? What could I possibly say to make her feel better when I couldn't be better myself ? I feel her sob on my shoulder and I squeeze her stronger, I, too, need it.
''I'm sorry for crying on you, but I knew you would be the one to understand me the most.'' She whisper
''Don't worry Rach, I've got you.'' I answer nicely
She wiped her tears and lift her head, I've got to admit that I have never seen someone as strong as her, I'm actually impressed by her, that she is not crumbling down.
''What about you ? How are you doing ?'' She ask, placing her hand on my arm
I sight, god know if I'm stable enough not to cry if I talk.
''I don't know. He was … My best friend, my brother. He was the one keeping me in line and now... He's gone. I wish it would have been me.'' I finish
She frown and take my hand in hers.
''What do you mean Noah ?''
''If I had been the one to die, people wouldn't be sad, not like they are right now. It wouldn't matter and Finn would be alive.'' I explain looking down
Rachel got closer to me and squeeze my hand, while making me look at her in the eyes.
''It would matter Noah! You can't think like this, Finn... would not want you to think like this. You are as important as any of us. And it shouldn't have change a thing.'' She say very fast, almost like an hysteric.
''Hey ! Don't worry Rach. I know that. It was just a thought I had.'' I reassure her
''Ok. I... I just don't want you to do something out of despair , because I can't ! I wouldn't handle losing someone else!'' Rachel started crying again.
I take her face in the palm of my hands making her look at me.
''Hey, look at me. I won't leave you. You'll never loose me, I promise. Now come on, we got to go back up there. Think you can handle it ?'' I ask, trying to smile a little
She nodded.
''I have to, I own it to him.'' She explain
''You have no idea how proud of you he would be.'' I say
''Yeah, he would be proud of you too.'' Rachel answer
''No... But he will be.'' I swear
And like that, we headed back in the Glee class for a last goodbye to Finn Hudson.
THE END