His Own Scissors

Songfic, Forever

Disclaimer: Forever is written and performed by Papa Roach (epic band btw! You should check 'me out) No, I do not own vampire knight.

-here's a real songfic, not just "influenced!" :DDD how did I do? Please review so I can know how to make it better!-His Own Scissors

~*X*~

Songfic

In the brightest hour of my darkest day

I realized what is wrong with me

Can't get over you, can't get through to you

It's been a helter-skelter romance from the start

Laying on his bed, alone in his bedroom, Zero thought of everything. And for once, it was the big picture; he put the puzzle together by himself and analyzed it as such. So, arms propping up his head above him, he stared at the dancing shadows of tree branches on the ceiling looming over him. Outside it was lightning, sending flashes of bright light and loud explosions from thunder into his room. The wind blew heartely, forcing itself upon the weak limbs of frail trees. He closed his eyes and took in the sound of rain beating violently against his window, the sound of it on the roof above, the thunder rumbling and growling like a giant's empty stomach.

He opened his eyes to an old, aching feeling: Zero's secret heart break over Yuuki's leaving. A fire burns inside him- thirst, love, hate, he can't tell which anymore, to him it's all the same. They all intertwine to that beautiful Yuuki eventually. How innocent she is of his anger, how ignorant she is of his love. But that's why he drew up the bigger picture. He needed to forget rgose feelings and move on. But he couldn't. Everyday, he desperately clung to them, finding them his only sustinance for life. He scoffed at himself. Their relationship was flunking from the start.

Take these memories that are huanting me

Of a paper man cut into shreds

By his own pair of scissors

He'll never forgive her… never forgive her…

Zero couldn't help but remember her sweet touch and the tuanting blood that lie beneath her sallow skin. Those days when everything- all except him- were perfect seem so distant. It feels like he's in space looking down at earth whenever he contemplated the early days of Cross Academy. He misses that Yuuki, misses that Zero, misses their easy life. Yes, that would be considered easy to what it is now. What it is now is complicated and hard, tiring and full of doubt. Should he still be at Cross Academy? The entire reason he was there was because of Yuuki, but now she's gone. He had presuaded her to lead a better life, therefore utterly destroying his own. How could he forgive her when she let him self-destruct like that? Was their relationship never on leading to more? Zero cursed himself for even hoping there could've been more… He jumped up from his bed and bolted from his room.

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

Zero rushed outside into the pouring rain. He would've tore out his decaying heart right there on the spot had Yuuki not done that for him when she left. So he just clutched his chest as he let the rain shower over him and cool off his angst. His body seemed to give off steam as the rain misted around his slim figure and his silver hair was plastered to his face, covering his eyes. He looked up at the sky with a terrible luct for blood enflaming his throat.

"Yuuki…" he couldn't forget her. try as he might, but he would always have feelings for that lovely vampire, the only lovely one. And as those days have passed horrendously, he never forgot her, nor forgave her. And then, soaking in the torrential rain, he took off for his car, blood the only thought on his empty mind.

Sittin' by a fire, on a lonely night

Hangin' over from another good time

With another girl, little dirty girl

The next morning, Zero woke with a titan of a headache. He looked over at the blonde beside him. Her neck was already healed and memory blurred by alcohol, so he should've been safe from persecution. He slipped out from under the sheets, naked, having used sex as a ploy for blood for the umpteenth time. Quickly, Zero urged his black slacks on and the pulled his arms through the white sleeves of his shirt. Picking up his black jacket, he walked to the door, clumsily putting his shoes on. He laughed sardonically at himself. Exiting with a terrifying headache, he left the unconcious- but live- girl to her heavy slumber. Zero felt every drop of acidic self-hatred as he drove back to his dorm at the academy. He tried desperately so forget the previous night of his most collective sin.

You should listen to this story of a life

You're my heroine- In this moment I'm lonely,

Fulfilling my darkest dreams

After Zero moved robotically through his classes, he comberly arrived to his empty dorm room. He threw his text books on a near by desk and simply stood there in the middle of the room with so many thoughts chacing him endlessly. It was a cacophony of doubts and wonders that nearly drove him insane: Howisschool?Myhomework?WhatisYuukidoing?'t,''sherfaultI''..

And I love all of this sorrow.

All along, this is what Zero wanted; a sure path to insanity that could occupy his time completely. Already close to the edge, how much more pushing did he need? Oh, if he could've only told Yuuki what was going through his brain. He wanted to make her hurt. He wanted to make everyone hurt, including himself. How he wished he could've told her of his insanity, how he wished she know how he loved her so much more than this insanity he begged to over come him.

All these drugs, all these women

I'm never forgiven…

This broken heart of mine

Again that night Zero slept with another woman for blood. She thought him a sick sadist when he bit her, but she allowed it for the money she so dutifully earned. But this lonely morn, he awoke alone, a great relief on his part. So Zero layed there on the filthy sheets of sex and other even more unforivable deeds on his part. But he didn't ponder that, he thought about his hollow chest. He thought about Yuuki, thought about the blood, the sex, the wasted money, all of it. After all of this he still hadn't chased of his feelings for her. After all he's put himself through, there's still an ache for her. One that finally made him cry in such a pathetic place.

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

Why was it so hard for him to get over her? Why was it so. damn. hard. to forget her and move on? Zero shot up from the bed and began to ravage the dingy motel room, letting out hir rage. He threw the lamp into the wall the headboard of the bed was against, sending a shower of glass to the pillows. He turned around and wretched the TV from the entertainment center and hurled it to the floor, breathing heavily.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" He cursed in heaving breaths. All he wanted was to forget about her. He wanted her gone from his life, gone from his thoughts, never to return again. He shouted like a beast into the ceiling, begging so desperately to fall to level E and lose all humanity at that very moment. He wanted it all gone, wanted everything gone right then and there. In a booming silence he fell to his knees, crying once more at how pathetic he had become. And also for Yuuki because he loved her so terribly. He heard the door creak behind him and looked over his shoulder to see a red-eyed maiden full of tears.

One last kiss, before I go

Dry your tears, it is time to let you go

One last kiss

One last kiss, before I go

Dry your tears, it is time to let you go

"Zero," that's all she said.

"Yuuki," is all he responded. Zero stood up and faced her. They simply watched each other for a few moments in absolute shock. Tears continued to spill over from her gleaming red eyes. The rain outside seemed to increase in sound greatly at the stretching silence between them. Half of Zero was full of questions and elated to see her the other half was enraged, wanting to rip her throat out right there on the spot. It was because of her that he was here in this humiliating circumstance. But she didn't see it like that. She saw it as reconciling with her old love. And then she saw him break down so horribly and shockingly. She was heart broke, absolutely torn of what to do right then.

"Yuuki, I need to forget you," he began quietly with eyes holding back every damming emotion, "tell me how." He looked at her sad, delicate face. Her mouth seemed to be set in stone in that worrisome frown. Then his eyes fell to her neck. If not for that whore last night, Zero would've jumped Yuuki so seemlesly just then. She slowly shook her head left to right, not wanting to let him go like that. She didn't want to lose him ever.

"Then one last kiss." He ventured and stepped forward to Yuuki until he was mere inches from her person. She examined every corner of his face, eyes so obviously moving all over his face. She nodded her head slowly in agreement, wanting to be one with Zero. She knew she had chosen Kaname, but she had been thinking about Zero for some time now. What had she done to him? He looked strung out and near insanity. She was too heart broken by this new and devistating Zero to speak a word.

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

Because days, come and go

But my feelings for you are forever

"Yuuki, I've been in love with you for so long-" she nodded her head with sympathetic eyes-"and with you having chosen Kaname, it's been hard. I need to let you go so I can move on." He carressed her cheek endearlingly and she leaned in to it. He smiled at her attempt at affection, but that soon faded when she opened her eyes and slowly pulled back.

"Zero, I understand. No matter how many days may pass, my feelings for you will always last," she then closed her eyes for the slighest second," but my feelings for Kaname. They're different." She looked up at him, continuing to watch his reaction. But he stayed still, emotionless, having already known her decision from the start. Yet having it voiced hurt so much more than he could've possibly imagined. It hurt like hell fire, tearing into the fiber of his being. And for the first time in a very long time, he knew what he had to do.

"One kiss…?" Zero whispered.

"One kiss." She closed her eyes.

One last kiss, before I go

Dry your tears, it is time to let you go

One last kiss, before I go

Dry your tears, it is time to let you go.

Quickly Zero raised the Bloody Rose and positioned the barrel between her eyes, above the bridge of her nose. Yuuki sucked in her breath, feeling the cold steel against her head, but she held her eyes shut fast. Zero let go of the safety button with a soft click and held it there for a few moments. She'll be away from me forever if I pull the trigger, he coaxes himself. I could finally move on. Of course, if I pull the gun on myself I'll be set free and she can live ahppily ever after with Kuran. But that's not what I wanted. I wanted insanity…

"One last kiss from Bloody Rose," he whispered and pulled the trigger. A shower of red simoulateaously rained across Zero's cold, expressionless face. He looked forward as her body fell dead at his feet. The door seemed to blur, then to redden in color. And all he could possibly think of or comphrehend was blood. Letting the gun slip from his grasp, he dropped to his knees beside Yuuki before it hit the ground. He began to frantically feed on Yuuki, having lost his sanitym having gain the very thing he wanted. Zero fell to level E as his darkest dreams were from the beginning.

One last kiss…