The Weak Link

Chapter One: Valuable

A/N: So this episode is one of my absolute favorites and in a recent rewatching, I came up with this! I really paid attention to the dialogue between Jack and the entity and some things clicked into place. The entity singled him out…and this is my take on why.

Enjoy!

"There was no other choice. No other place to go. You wish to terminate."

"Still do."

"But you will not. Not now. I have observed. You value the life of one."

"Yes we do."

"This one is important."

"She is."

"For this reason, this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me."

"It went into Sam out of self preservation".

"I cannot be removed from this mind without terminating. You will not terminate this one. None of you will. Therefore I will survive."

….

Cold blue eyes bored into his as lightning crackled above them, shafts of yellow sparking across the canyon that seemed to widen between them. The cold grey of their sometimes home looked on impassively as the silent battle waged on. But he knew that those walls had already figured out the loser.

Blue fire twisted in the yellow sparks, snuffing them out. Those cold, but still so familiar eyes burned into his own, full of rage and resentment. And then the hallway lit up like a crappy imitation of the sun again and he felt his finger spasm. His heart squeezed into his throat and he pushed and pushed with all his might; pushed his soul, his will, his whatever…pushed it across the charged air, willing her to stop…willing her to be his again.

The crackling sound changed, faded, but it was too late. Blue flames rent the air, tearing across the distance, and slamming into her with a force that he felt in every vein and artery. But it was nothing compared to the shockwaves that ripped through him when her body hit the ground, head bouncing listlessly…the sound of stale electricity still spiraling in the air.

And suddenly there was no distance, no wide open canyon, but she was right there. So close he could just reach out, but she'd never been further away. He felt her emptiness, felt it in the very bottom of the shredded thing he supposed could be called a soul. He felt her absence as palpably as if she'd disappeared altogether, gone in a puff of that proverbial smoke.

His fault. Two chances. He'd had two chances to think of something else, to come up with something better and he'd failed her. And now she was gone forever.

Jack jerked awake, his head slamming back against the unadorned headboard and his fingers desperately flexing to release a weapon he no longer held. How long before a memory can feel like a dream? In his experience, never—but if this particular one ever did, it would certainly take longer than two weeks.

Had it really only been two weeks? On the other hand, how had it already been two weeks? Jack scrubbed rough hands over his exhaustion lined face and tried to undo the knots that had been in his stomach since her eyes had gone vacant. He had thought they would ease when she woke up, her voice ragged from disuse, but they hadn't. He was still the one who'd shot her.

Then he thought they'd untangle themselves when she forgave him; her blue eyes wide and alive and brimming with earnesty, but also apprehension. She had thanked him, both for making the tough choice and for not giving up on her and then she had admitted that she wasn't sure she could have done the same.

Still his tension hadn't eased. He had no right to accept her forgiveness or her candid honesty. Yes, he had made the tough choice—the difficult, deadly decision to save the planet and sacrifice her. But she didn't know that he had sacrificed himself too.

And she never would.

Things would go back to normal. They had to. For everyone's sakes.

But Jack couldn't face it; not yet. He had requested downtime for SG-1 on the pretense of her recovery and it had, of course, been granted. But two weeks was too long and he knew they all knew it; he was sure that they saw straight through him and his flimsy excuses.

But how could they see it- the real reason he wanted to avoid the field—if he refused to even admit it to himself?

The next time Jack woke, it was to the incessant, shrill ring of his quarter's phone. He hadn't been able to bring himself to leave base, just another damning piece of evidence that had surely escaped no one. He moved sluggishly, painfully, like he was fighting through a brutal wind, reaching the chirping phone after what felt like an eternity.

Except now he knew what eternity felt like. The exact time it took for a zat's energy to find its target.

"O'Neill." He tried to keep the rawness from his voice and for the most part he succeeded. Hopefully, whoever was on the other end would just assume his voice was rough from sleep.

"It's Hammond. I need to see you in my office, colonel."

So the jig was up. Two weeks had been plenty of time and Hammond was ready to throw his team back into the fire. But Jack wasn't ready. He had tried to prepare himself, he really had. But he couldn't figure it out; he couldn't bring himself to dig through the many layers of self-preservation he had guarded his very core with for so long.

So, instead, he set down the receiver and steeled himself with the cold, hard knowledge that he was, at best, a battered, but well-trained soldier. He had no choice but to find the battle-hardened man within and bring him back. For his own sake.

And for hers.

….

Jack rapped cold knuckles on Hammond's door, turning the handle and stepping inside when he heard the general's, "Come."

"General." His voice was neutral at best, sulky at worst, but his general took it in stride.

"Jack, come in. Close the door and take a seat."

Jack. That was never good. As he turned to comply with the order, he swallowed hard, remembering the last time his given name had fallen from his superior's mouth.

"Very well Dr. Jackson. Dismissed. Jack?"

"Sir?"

"We may have to make some difficult choices. I know that Major Carter means a great deal to you."

"She's a very valuable member of my team, sir."

"Yes she is."

It had been that none too subtle, but all the same kind, reminder that had pushed Jack to make the threats to the entity. He was desperate; everything was suddenly too exposed, too close to the surface and he had lashed out knowing that if his major would just open her eyes then everything could go back to the way things were.

It was that conversation that had slashed through his brain as he pulled the trigger—no favoritism, no emotion, not allowed, not allowed…

I know that Major Carter means a great deal to you. I know…I know…I know…

"You wanted to see me, sir?" It wasn't perfect, but it was passable. The good little soldier here to play by the rules.

"We need to talk, Jack." Hammond hadn't moved from his chair, but Jack suddenly felt like he was two feet tall and the general loomed over him. "How have you been?"

"Sir?"

"This isn't a time for antics, Jack. How have you been?" Hammond steepled his fingers and fixed the younger man with a searching stare. He'd never seen his 2IC so distant, so removed.

"I'm…fine, George. And yourself?" Jack dropped into the proffered chair and cocked an eyebrow. He never said he'd go down quietly. For he was sure that this was that was—he was going down. He only hoped the fall was short.

"Come on, Jack. Not today." Hammond frowned, as much at himself as at the other man. He wished he didn't have to do this on base; in fact, he'd waited so long for the simple fact that he'd hoped Jack would eventually go home and they could have this conversation within the nonmilitary walls of his house.

But he had stayed on base.

And he'd avoided everyone.

And now General Hammond had no other option—he was squarely stuck between a rock and a hard place and was severely ill equipped for either. "Do I need to tell you what this is about?"

"Need is a strong word, general."

George sighed. "It's about the incident with the entity, Jack."

"That was," Jack made a show of checking his watch. "Almost two whole weeks ago." He was really trying to rein in the sarcasm, but for some reason, every time he opened his mouth…it just came out.

"Jack." George sighed. He clearly wasn't going to make this easy. "I can give you the run around or I can give it to you straight. I'd prefer the latter, but only if I can get the same as I'm giving. Understood?"

Jack bit down on his gut-reaction response and nodded mutely instead, eyes stormy, but unfathomable.

"Good." George leaned forward. "Whatever we say doesn't leave this office. So I need you to be completely up front here." He paused, watching the younger man closely. It was like a switch had been flicked and he had just…turned off. "So, I'm just going to get right down to it. The entity singled you out, son."

You will not terminate this one. "It read my file. It knew I was a threat to its…goal." It sounded lame even to his own ears, but he knew it was, at least in part, true.

"Jack…it assessed everyone on base. Granted, you were the first one it saw when Major Carter—it—woke up, so it's natural to assume it would focus on you. But…well, there's no delicate way to say this. It was in her mind, it had access to her memories. Something in Major Carter's mind led the entity to believe that you wouldn't do anything to harm her, even at the expense of the planet." Hammond winced internally, if possible, his little speech had shuttered the colonel even more.

"I think the planet is going a little overboard, don't you, sir?"

"No, I don't think it is. It told us its intentions; Earth was its target."

"Right, but "transmission was interrupted." I remember." Jack sighed and slid down in his chair, all of the antagonism and fight suddenly gone. "I don't know, general, maybe this is a conversation you should be having with Carter." He wished he could take the words back even as he said them. That wasn't right; he couldn't throw her under the bus like that. "I just mean, I'm not really in a position to, ah, get in her head. Maybe Daniel…"

George watched the man struggle, wishing he could do something to help, but knowing his hands were tied. "I have to ask, Jack. Why would an alien entity think you were our weak link?"

The words hit Jack harder than he'd anticipated. "I couldn't tell you, sir. It had Carter's memories. Maybe I'm just too nice." That might've been the flattest joke he'd ever told.

Seemed Hammond wasn't falling for it either. "I've read every single mission report you've ever written, Jack. I don't think that's the problem."

Jack shrugged. "Maybe I'm just too easy on Carter."

George frowned. "Come on, Jack. You're smarter than that."

"I don't know what you want me to say, general." He tasted bile in the back of his throat and vaguely wondered if this is what dry drowning felt like.

"I want you to be straight with me. Nothing leaves this office."

Frustration rippled through Jack as he looked determinedly at a point somewhere beyond the general's left shoulder. "I'm…this is…general, sir, I…" His mouth closed with an audible snap—his teeth jarring together. The entity had singled him out, he'd known it would try to use him the second those cold eyes had locked on his. He and his major had never talked about it—had never had to—but there was some nebulous, unnamed thing between them.

But it had never posed a professional problem.

But, this time they hadn't been so lucky. Something from another world…something that wasn't even a thing of flesh and feeling…had deduced enough from Carter's mind to know that he had a weakness for her. But wait, that wasn't right.

You value the life of one…this one is important…It had chosen her. It had evaluated everyone on base and made a calculated decision based off of their files, their mission reports, and their interactions. It had correctly interpreted their mutual weakness before it had ever invaded Carter's mind. It had seen all of this from a secondary power source deep within their facility…it had seen what they themselves never allowed…

For this reason, this one was chosen. You will not terminate this one in order to destroy me.

It had looked right at him. He hadn't put too much thought into it at the time; too angry to notice anything except that she was trapped in there somewhere and he was failing to save her. It had done nothing but single him out. It had chosen her because she was his biggest weakness. It had copied his hand signal because he was the first to attempt communication, however unwittingly. It had looked him in the eye and gloated.

The entity had deemed Jack O'Neill its biggest threat. And it had hurt Carter because of him.

TBC

A/N: Hopefully it's not too dramatic for you guys! Thank you!