A/N: So this is a 3 part story (I think) that came to light listening to Call Me by Shinedown and End of Me by A Day To Remember. Ambrollins has been breaking my heart lately, and whats better than a good ol' Dean and Seth break up? (avoids daggers) and ofc, some Ambreigns friendship. (I also promise that my two chapter fics will be updated soon!) my tumblr is psychrollins and is open to message, comments and prompts at all times! :D enjoy!

Dean's pretty sure he's never felt pain like this. Its emotional pain and physical pain all rolled into one and set on fire inside his chest.

He can't quite function properly, doesn't know what to do now. He should probably march right out to the balcony and demand to know why. He should scream, kick, punch, anything. But he can't, he's so numb.

Dean hadn't meant to overhear the conversation, obviously, but he had. And hearing the words "I promise you Antonio, I'm leaving tomorrow. I love you, ok?" simply broke him, like a needle full of anaesthetic rendering him motionless but still very, very awake.

Seth was leaving him. His beautiful, pretty, perfect Seth was leaving him for someone else. Seth had cheated on him, after months and months of what seemed like the perfect relationship, everything was falling apart.

And Dean can feel it tearing apart his lungs, like he's swallowed a handful of broken glass and with every breath he takes the little shards lodge themselves deeper, burning and ripping until he can't breathe, can't feel anything.

What stops him from going outside to confront Seth though, is that he knew it was coming. He didn't quite know when, but it's just what everyone does. They end up getting bored or finding something better and then they just leave.

Dean doesn't know how long he stands there, doesn't know how long Seth continues to stand out on the balcony for, but when he comes back to his senses, Seth hasn't moved. With shaky limbs, Dean manages to stumble towards the bed. What hurts the most about all of this, is that Seth said he was different, told him he wasn't going to leave because he loved him. But Seth's just like the rest of them, they'll say all these things – but coming from Seth, Dean had just this once let himself believe – and then months down the line, they were gone. And Dean hates being left, hates the constricting feeling of his heart seeing someone walk out of the door with bags in hand. It's such a familiar feeling, and Dean's growing sick of it.

So Dean will do what he did the last few handful of times. Before he can be left, he will leave. Seth will wake up in the morning, with all the intentions of leaving, to find he's already been left. It's cruel and Dean knows it, especially with how he feels about being left, but it's the only way he's learnt to cope with it. If he knows that he left, knows that he was the one to walk out on the relationship, well then he probably won't sit in a lonely hotel room drinking himself to death because he's not good enough and he'll tell himself that he was too good for them. Even though he knows it's not true.

Dean lies in the cold bed for another half an hour, before Seth finally comes in from the balcony. He's wearing nothing but his sleep pants, and Dean has to look away. He can feel the glass in his chest again, can feel the little slivers of glass digging in and reminding him that Seth doesn't want him anymore. What hurts even more though, is the smile that Seth gives him. Seth doesn't know that Dean knows, and that's what's cutting into Dean. Because Seth is acting like he always has, like they'll wake up in the morning and make coffee and pancakes before cleaning up the apartment. But that's not how it's going to go, no matter how much Dean wants it too.

Dean will wake up – or probably not, he'll most likely be awake all night staring at Seth – before Seth, grab his stuff and go. And then maybe Seth will be sad – or maybe he won't, maybe he'll be glad – that Dean's gone.

It takes every ounce of strength that Dean has left in his body not to let the sob escape his mouth when Seth slips into bed beside him and wraps his arms around his waist.

"Hey." Seth whispers, lips ghosting across the back of Dean's neck. Dean shudders as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"Was that your mom?" Dean asks, voice cracking slightly. He wants to hear Seth lie to him, knows it will hurt, but it will tell Dean everything he needs to know.

"Yeah, she was telling me about some distant family member who's having a baby." Seth's voice stays straight, and it makes Dean wonder how many times Seth's lied to him, he's obviously done it for so long that Dean can't tell the difference. One half of Dean wants to push Seth away, doesn't want to feel Seth's chest pressed against his back. But the other half wants him impossibly close, knowing it's going to be the last time he gets to be this close to Seth.

"That's nice." Dean grips onto Seth's hand and decides that he'll stay close to him for now, he'll submit the feel of Seth's warm body pressed against his to memory so that when Dean has to leave in the morning, he won't be scrambling to remember their last moments of happiness.

Eventually Seth's breathing evens out against his neck and he feels the gentle rise and fall of Seth's chest. He slowly rolls over, so that he's facing him, and presses the lightest of kisses against Seth's slightly parted lips.

If he'd have known that this is how everything was going to turn out, he'd have never let Seth buy him that drink the bar, he'd have never of let Seth scrawl his number on his arm and he definitely would have never have called back.

Or maybe he would have. Because calling Seth back on a whim had been the best decision he'd ever made, apparently. Because Seth was like no other person Dean had ever encountered, and the fact that Seth was interested in him, well Dean had a hard time trying to believe it. But then again, maybe Seth wasn't as into him as he'd made out to be. Because here they are, nearly a year down the line and Seth's been cheating on him.

Maybe the night that Seth said I love you for the first time was a lie. Maybe the day that Seth told him that he wanted him to be the one he took to meet his mother was a lie. Maybe everything Seth said was a lie. Dean knows he should be angry, that he should be punching Seth in the face repeatedly until there's blood everywhere and Seth's face is so mangled that he can't even open his eyes. But he can't. He can't because he's so in love with Seth that everything just hurts. It hurts more than the time he found his mother unconscious in the chair because she'd drunk too much and he'd had to call an ambulance when he was six. It just hurts and that's why he's not unleashing hell.

If this had been anyone else, any other person abandoning him and acting like its nothing then he'd be tearing down walls and just breaking everything until there's nothing left. But this is Seth and he can't do that to him. No matter how much Seth hurts him, no matter what that little two-toned pretty boy does to his heart, Dean can't bring himself to hurt him. That's why, in a few hours, Dean will get up from the bed he shares with Seth for the very last time and save Seth the task of telling Dean he doesn't want him anymore.

xXx

Dean rubs at his tired eyes that haven't closed all night, and lets out a shaky breath as the sun starts to rise. He rolls onto his side and lets his gaze settle on a still sleeping Seth. This is it. This is the day that Dean leaves before he is left, once again. He presses a light kiss to Seth's forehead and mutters a quiet I love you before rolling from the bed.

His heart aches inside of his chest as he shoves his clothes into his bag. In the back of his mind, he'd always knew this was going to happen, but he'd been desperately hoping that he was going to be proved once. He didn't care what other shit things happened to him, what other things the ugly black world threw at him, he'd just wanted to keep Seth.

Seth's still sleeping thankfully, when Dean loads his bags next to the bedroom door ready to take downstairs. He doesn't want to leave without telling Seth why, wants Seth to know just how much he's really hurt him, but he doesn't want to have that conversation with him. So he pulls a pen and a piece of paper from the dresser and writes it down. His handwriting is scruffy, and he scribbles some stuff out but he gets it down in the end, and it's only when he's folding the paper up that he realises he's crying.

He places the letter on his pillow, where his head should be right now, and stands over Seth's sleeping body. The little shards of glass make themselves known again, burning and stabbing at his lungs. He tries to breathe, but he ends up just taking in gulps of air without being able to let any back out again. Dean holds back a sob and bends down to kiss Seth for the very last time. It's just a quick, gentle press of their lips but it feels like a death sentence.

Dean remembers when his friend Sami told him about what it was like going away to war. What it felt like to say goodbye to your friends and family, to your partner, knowing that it could possibly be the last time you feel their skin against yours. It's entirely different, Dean's not going to die – he thinks, anyway – but it sticks in his mind. He's pretty sure he gets what Sami means, because kissing Seth for the last time is like he's signing his life away for no reason.

But of course there's a reason. Seth doesn't love him. And he doesn't want to hurt Seth, so if he doesn't want him, well then he doesn't have to have him. Dean moves away from the bed, so that he doesn't wake Seth up, and heads over to the door. His hands stills on the door handle, his mind just rolling over the everything just one more time – contemplates jumping back into bed and trying his hardest to keep Seth in bed and with him for as long he can – before he turns the handle and picks his bags up from the floor.

The little glass pieces he feels like he swallowed last night remind him that Seth doesn't want him, Seth loves someone called Antonio and that he needs to leave before he does something he regrets.

Dean spares one last glance at Seth – his beautiful, pretty, wonderful Seth – before slipping through the door. He decided last night, that he'll drive around a bit before he knows that Roman will be up before calling him. Roman will let him stay a few days before Dean finds somewhere else to crash, because Roman is Roman and he cares more about Dean than anyone else probably ever has. They're brothers, really, and if Dean needs something, Roman's sure as hell going to give him it.

But Dean won't wake Roman up at this hour, the sun hasn't even risen properly yet, and Dean needs a little time to clear his head anyway. He slips out of the front door – and tries not to think about the fact that he probably won't step foot in Seth's house ever again – and loads his bags into the car. The air is cold across his face and he pulls the collar of his leather jacket tighter around his neck as he gets inside his car. He looks up at Seth's house – his home for the last god knows how many months – and smiles briefly at the memories that flutter into his head.

He pushes the memories away though, because he doesn't need another reason to cry, and starts his car. He's glad he got it fixed a couple of weeks ago, because it would have definitely woke Seth up if he hadn't.

Dean can't quite understand what went wrong with Seth, other than the fact that someone better came along. He'd tried so hard to be everything that Seth wanted, tried his best to bury the old Dean that liked to pick fights and liked to sleep around. Hell, this had been his longest relationship, he'd never invested himself so fully in someone other than Roman like he had Seth. Because after the first few months, he'd just fallen. Fallen like an autumn leaf, so softly and slowly, he didn't even realise it until he hit the ground. He loved him, he was in love with Seth.

It scared him at first, hit him so hard he just didn't know how to feel, but then Seth had been there, with his loving hands and his soft kisses to Dean's neck and that's when he realised. He didn't care if he never slept with anyone else ever again. He didn't care that if Seth wanted something, Dean would get it for him. He didn't care because Dean was in love with Seth and he fucking loved it.

But, as Dean trundles down the road with his hands gripping the steering wheel tight and his cheeks wet with tears, he realises why he'd been scared to start with. Because even though Seth had made him love being in love, Seth also just made him hate being in love. Now, here he was, after telling himself it was ok to fall in love, fucking heartbroken. He'll be more careful in the future (of course he will be, he'll always love Seth, there won't be anyone else to fall in love with.)

Dean ends up at the park not far from Roman's apartment, and parks his car on the street. He buys a coffee to warm his hands more than to drink, and heads over to an empty bench. There aren't many people at the park at this time of the morning – just about half past six, now – but there are a few dog walkers and runners risking the biting morning air. He likes being up at this time, it's such a weird time of the day. Many people – and Dean tries not to think about Seth curled up warm in his bed – are asleep in their beds, or just waking up to start their morning routine, while others are coming back from night shifts and just going to bed. The sun is just rising, tempting people from their beds.

He doesn't like this morning, however. Because instead of being in bed with Seth (where he knows he belongs) he's out here, hands clutched around a cup of coffee while he waits for the world to wake up so he can fall into the arms of his best friend. Dean tries his hardest not to stare at every male runner and dog walker that goes past him, because he knows there's a very slim chance that any of them are this Antonio but he can't help but wonder.

Has he ever seen him before? What does he have, what's he done that made Seth forget about his love for poor old Dean? Doesn't matter though, Dean will probably never know. If Seth grants him his last wish, he won't speak to Seth again. He'll let Roman heal his broken heart – because Roman's always there with the bandages and the tape to stick it all back together again the best he can – and he'll do what he's always done, get up and throw punches. He'll just try and go on, the same way he did before Seth came into his life, he'll just exist even though he really doesn't want to.

Dean sits there for a long time, so long that his coffee goes freezing cold and he ends up chucking half of it away. He watches the sun rise and the street across from the park slowly start to come alive. His phone comes alive with it, though, and he knows that Seth's awake and hasn't granted him his last wish. Would it be so hard? That's the one thing he'd asked of him, the last thing he'd said (well second to last, just before the, I love you.) He doesn't want to talk to Seth. He ignores the endless streams of calls, but he opens the messages that come surging through when he gives up calling.

Dean please pick up

Dean

Answer the phone so we can talk

Babe please please answer the phone we need to talk

Dean i'm begging you

Dean

I'm sorry.

His phone finally goes quiet after half an hour, but the streets around him are bustling and alive. Its quarter past ten now, and Dean's so cold he can barely feel his toes, and thinks it's a good a time as any to call Roman. He struggles to find his number with his numb fingers, but gets there, and Roman picks up after a few short rings.

"Hey Deano."

"Hey Ro, didn't wake you or anythin' did I?" Dean asks, just to make sure.

"Nah, course not. Wouldn't matter anyway, you only ring in a morning when it's serious. What's wrong?" Of course Roman would know. Roman always knows.

Dean takes a breath; he hasn't said it yet, even though it's been going through his head for the past few hours. "Seth and I, we uh, Seth was cheating on me. I left him."

"What? Are you serious dude? Where are you?" Roman's voice raises a few decibels with each word.

"At the park. I left before he woke up this morning."

"Dean, jesus how long have you been there? No, don't answer that. Come over right now, you need me to pick you up?"

"No, I got my car. I'll be there in a bit." Dean breathes, standing up and feeling his bones crack. "Thanks, man."

"You got nothing to thank me for, Dean. Just get your ass over here I'm making pancakes."

xXx

"I needed that." Dean says, setting his plate down on Roman's coffee table. He's nestled in Roman's side on his couch, and Roman's got his arms around him. They haven't talked about it yet. When he'd got to Roman's he'd just been pulled into the apartment and into a smothering Samoan hug before being pushed into the living room for a breakfast of pancakes and bananas. Roman threads his hands through Dean's hair and lets him bury his face into his chest.

"I'm sorry Dean, I'm really sorry." Roman says, pressing soft kisses into is curls.

"I just, why? Why would he do that, Rome? He said he loved me. He told me over and over again, he didn't do anything out of place that made me suspect anything and then, and then I hear that." New tears form at Dean's eyes, and Roman lifts Dean's face to wipe them away from his friends eyes.

"He's an idiot, that's why. He's a crazy, blind, delusional motherfucker if he thinks anyone else in the world is better than you, Dean. I promise you, he's an idiot. He's a fucking idiot." Roman repeats it. He keeps saying it until Dean's not crying so violently into his chest. Roman's not a violent or a necessarily angry person, but the day Seth Rollins hurt his best friend, is a day Seth Rollins will live to regret.