Chapter 1: Tony's Cool goes Kablam
"This happened how again?" Tony asked as he gestured to the smoking pile of rubble that was only distinguishable as the Stark Tower by a crispy, battered neon letter A sitting at the very top.
"Well..." said Natasha, "it was Thor. He electrocuted himself plugging in the toaster. He fixed this problem by zapping it with lightning, which burnt down the entire tower."
Tony glared at Thor. "Contrary to popular belief, I do not have bottomless pockets, and when I come home from yet another press conference to find the tower in rubble, I have to pay for the damage. This is the third time this week and we don't have the funding to make this a habit. Someone needs to come up with an idea fast before we are on the streets."
Thor winced.
"You're the smart one," pointed out Clint, " you'll think of something." Bruce glared at him.
Tony had quite some thinking to do if he was to solve this problem.
o0O0o
"Hey, guys, I think that I found a solution to our problem," chirped an excited Tony, "I was watching videos on YouTube at midnight and had a great idea. What if we make are own clips doing what we naturally do and put them on YouTube? We could make money and have enough even if we wreck everything making the video!"
Natasha yawned. "Perfect, just give me five more minutes," she said sleepily.
"Oh, come on its only one in the morning," groaned Tony, "we have so much planning to do, we could make stunt shows, wreck stuff, or my favourite: blend stuff.
"Hmmmmm...OK," mumbled Natasha.
o0O0o
Steve woke up to a grinding sound. What was going on? He got out of bed and cautiously walked downstairs to find a very scary sight: Tony, with a blender.
"What are you doing?" He asked
"Oh, just blending Clint's bow and arrows to post on YouTube," Tony replied.
"YouTube?"
"Never mind."
Steve sighed, blending objects was not Tony's strangest idea.
"If I could just get it to fit," hissed Tony, shoving the quiver in next to the bow. There was a huge snapping sound and a moment later half the bow was impaled in the roof. The entire quiver of arrows followed.
A tired Clint walked in a moment later. "Have you seen my bow and arrows?" he asked sleepily.
Tony glanced at the roof and kicked the other half of his bow under the table. "No," he replied casually.
o0O0o
"So we are called here today to discuss Stark's newest ideas," announced Steve, "I am not sure how he plans to make money on this so called "YouTube," but it sounds like he is up to no good."
Bruce rolled his eyes, "He can make some money off of ads but I don't know how he proposes to make enough to pay for the tower, it sounds fishy to me."
Natasha smiled, "fishy or not, let's stop talking and start blending."
Clint sighed. "Just tell me if you find my bow and arrows," he groaned.
"Meeting dismissed," Thor said, and they headed downstairs for breakfast.
o0O0o
Natasha glanced around the room, just what exactly should she blend? A glint caught her eye and she doubled back to look again. Was this a coincidence? Whatever the case the gleaming star-spangled circle was perfect...
o0O0o
"Sir, Director Fury is calling for you to assemble, there is a problem in the nearby park," Jarvis said, waking up the entire household.
"This is a really bad time," called Steve through his earpiece, "I can't find my shield."
Natasha smirked, the shield wouldn't blend but it certainly hid well.
Fury groaned, "well get down here anyways."
o0O0o
The bruised Avengers arrived back at the tower and flopped down on the sofa.
"Well that went badly," groaned Steve, " I would have been more help if I had my shield."
Natasha almost felt sorry for him.
Almost...
He must have seen her expression because he walked up to her.
"Where is it!?"
Natasha cackled.
o0O0o
Dear, Stella Romanoff,
I have something that I need you to hide for me...
We're having...problems at the tower and my out of date friend can't be finding this.
P.S. He will never think it is in Russia...
...Unless Stark finds out and tells him...
Thank you for the favour!
Love, your sister.
o0O0o
"So lets get this straight," Steve grumbled, "you sent my shield to your friend in Russia?"
Natasha smiled. "Yes," she replied
"Great," Steve muttered, "just great."
o0O0o
Dear, Natasha Romanoff,
Wow, I can't leave you alone anymore. I could hide it, however, if mom finds this we are all going to be in deep trouble.
Thor burn down the tower again?
Another invading alien army?
Sheesh, you really need a vacation.
I think that Stark has already hacked into the email, but it's a nice thought that he hasn't yet.
P.S. If anybody finds out, you SERIOUSLY owe me one.
Love, your sister.
o0O0o
Dear, Natasha's sister,
I love how you were joking about me. Steve's shield in Russia? Ha!
P.S. Hacking is my specialty.
Yours Truly, Tony Stark.
o0O0o
Dear, Tony Stark,
I will murder you in your sleep.
Yours Truly, the Master Assassin.
o0O0o
Steve was NOT happy. He had flown in an airplane twice, went on three boats, and had to deal with a master assassin, this assassin also happened to be Natasha's secret sister.
He hadn't even gotten his shield back. Matter of fact he hardly got back with his life. Who knew that violence ran in the family?