AN: This is a one-shot story that I came up with. I hope you all enjoy it!
Title: Porcelain Heart
Summary: It was raining outside, she wished he was near, but he wasn't. He was with his new-born son and the woman that wasn't her. She couldn't bear to live any longer. Her porcelain heart was breaking slowly.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters, and the song Porcelain Heart belongs to the awesome, amazing Barlow Girl.
The rain was coming down harder now, echoing against her window as she drove faster down the highway. The wipers swayed back in forth, in a rhythmic beat that went along with her blasting radio. It was late at night, no other cars on the highway with her, and she pressed her foot against the gas pedal once more, hearing the roar of the engine and the shaking of the car as she switched gears.
Thunder engulfed around her, the lighting soon following afterwards, lighting up the darkened sky as though it were the sun itself. For a second she thought she saw him, for a second she thought she had gone crazy – both were reasonable excuses. One, she saw him, or two, if she had seen him she had gone crazy.
Either way, it evolved around him; the biggest, most pig-headed man she had ever met, with the most unbelievable lies and attempts to win her heart when – in fact – he was breaking it slowly with each moment he was within her protective bubble.
But he was a hell of a kisser.
The song on the radio turned to a softer, more romantic song than the ones she had been listening to a few moments ago. With a groan, she turned it off, pressing against the gas again to get the thoughts out of her head.
The rain was slowing down, the lighting still hiding in the clouds, but moved behind her, out of her sight. The thunder had silenced, and she finally slowed her car down, realizing she had probably passed her exit more than ten miles back.
She glanced up at the sign ahead of her, cursing under her breath. She was right, ten miles behind her was her house. She switched lanes, and got off on the next exit. It was darkening, and she had just turned into the part of town were the street lights were next to black, and there was no clear road. Lucky for her, she had been through these roads before, and knew where the entrance to the other side of the highway was.
Unfortunate for her, however, was she had gotten to know this part of town through him. He lived a few blocks down, and she had come down here plenty of times over their years together. It was her second home, or more her first. It was the place she felt the most safety in her cruel life. But, then again, maybe she had just gone crazy. Leaning back in her seat, she let out a deep breath, slowing down to five miles an hour to take her last look of the area.
It wasn't long before she finally sat up, realizing that she had been focused on looking for his house more than the highway entrance. Letting out a curse under her breath, she pulled into an empty driveway, did a u-turn and hit the gas pedal to get out before she saw his house. It wasn't too late to forget what it looked like.
Before she did anything else, she entered the highway and focused on getting home, keeping her thoughts together. She didn't want to get distracted and think of him again. It was too late to allow him to live in her mind now.
Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry?
Broken pieces in your hand
Wonder how you'll make it whole
Twisting her key, she turned the car off and took a deep breath before stepping out into the storm. The wind nearly knocked her over as soon as she opened the door, and she gripped onto the handle for dear life as she steadied her numb legs. When she was standing, and the wind was no longer knocking her over, she took a few steps and guessed she was well enough to walk to the front porch.
Slamming the door behind her, she threw her keys on the table in the hallway and threw her soaked jacket onto the couch to dry. Her shoes she kept on, something she had done if she was sure she might need them for a hurried escape out of her house. And tonight she was sure she would need an escape.
She walked into her kitchen, feeling disgusted by the clutter they had left hours ago. The soup was still in the pot, but probably cold by now. Their soda bottles were still on the counter, filled next to the top. The fridge was left open, and the little light was beginning to flutter as it lost power. With a sigh, she walked over and closed it with a slam.
As she took her hand off of the door handle, she saw her fingers were covered with grape jelly. He had put it there in his attempt to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which ended up in an all-out food fight. He grabbed the fridge to try to get more food to throw at her when the phone rang.
Tears pushed through the corner of her eyes, and she shook her head, rushing quickly to the sink to wash off the stains before they grew too deep. It was too late. She had stood there for too long, and the jelly had already begun to harden. Clutching the soap, she rubbed her fingers harder, the hot water beginning to turn her hands red.
With a groan, she turned off the water, her eyes staring coldly down at her hands. The jelly had finally washed off, but they were dark red, some of the skin beginning to tear off.
You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's got to change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Slamming her fist into the sink, she rushed out of the bathroom and landed face first on her couch. She must have landed on the remote, because a news station came onto the television screen. It was a movie, with a girl crying her eyes out as the man of her dreams walked away from her, leaving her to stand in the pouring rain by herself.
She looked up, and reached underneath her stomach to find the remote. As soon as she found it, she turned off the television and threw the remote into the screen and watched as it crashed to the floor, taking her DVD player with it. Cursing again, she buried her face in her pillow and wept.
XOXOX
Slowly opening her eyes, she heard the phone ringing loudly in her ears. As she sat up, a moan escaping her chapped lips, she saw the phone bouncing with each buzz. Shaking her head, and rubbing her eyes with her fists, she put her head back against the pillow. The phone rang a few more times before the answering machine finally picked up.
"Sango?" came the worried tone of her long-time friend, Kagome on the other end. "Sango, pick up! I know you're there! Where else would you be? Pick up, damn it!"
Sango rolled over, her hand reaching for the phone. "Hey," she groaned into the phone.
"Sango! Are you okay?" She was yelling, and the sound of an even furious Inuyasha was in the background.
"Never been better, Kagome," she lied, sighing as she placed her forearm against her sweating brow.
"Don't give me that crap, Sango," Kagome sighed, her voice lowering. "I heard something happened with–"
"Don't even say that name, Kagome!" Sango yelled, jumping from her seat. "I never want to hear that bastard's name again!"
Kagome hesitated, and Inuyasha's screaming voice in the background silenced. "Sango, I'm so sorry."
Someone said "a broken heart
"Will sting at first
"Then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break?
"Tell me what happened," Kagome whispered soothingly as she gently rubbed Sango's back. Inuyasha sat on the other side of her, rubbing her thigh softly, and holding the hot tea for her as she buried her face in her hands.
"We had a food fight," Sango began, the tears falling as she recalled the moment. "We were laughing, and enjoying ourselves. Then… the phone rang. It was someone I had never met before, that much I knew."
"What was the voice?" Inuyasha asked.
"It was a girl's," Sango answered, the tears pouring more. "I had never heard her name before when she told me. It was so sudden, I didn't know what to think. She kept asking for him, and she was crying. I could hear other voices, but hers was so loud that he snatched the phone from my hand because he could hear it from where he stood."
Kagome took a deep breath, "Maybe it was a family member?"
Sango shook her head, "I met who it was."
Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged worried glances.
"Her name was Miro, she had blonde chestnut hair, with the greenest eyes I have ever seen. And she was going to have a son, she wanted to name him Kai. It turns out, she was almost in labor when she called my house." Sango's tears turned to sobs, and her words were almost impossible to come out. "She said she had gotten my number from Miroku in case of an emergency."
"But, why would she need Miroku?" Inuyasha asked.
"He was the father of Kai," Sango heaved. "He was her boyfriend, and roommate."
Kagome cursed under her breath and hugged her friend close as she sobbed. "Shh," she hushed, rocking her back and forth softly.
"Damn him," Inuyasha breathed, putting the tea down to make sure he didn't squeeze it until it broke.
"He asked me for a ride," Sango continued, whispering through Kagome's shoulder. "He said he would pay for my gas. I couldn't argue, I didn't know what else to do. I hated him, but I didn't want to leave that poor girl by herself. Even if he didn't love me, I knew he loved her. I didn't want her to be without him during her child's birth."
She let in a deep breath, "On the way there, he told me he was sorry that he didn't say anything. Said he wasn't expecting Miro to have a child. He just meant for it to be a one-night thing. He told me he never meant for it to go as far as it did."
"What are you going to do?" Kagome asked.
"What can I do? I've lost the only man I've ever loved, and he's got a family, now. There's nothing I can do but sleep."
Inuyasha growled, standing up. He began to pace the floor, his face forming different expressions, and his fists tightening with each second. "Where does that jerk get off at for cheating? Seriously! What the heck's his problem?"
"Inuyasha, calm down," Kagome said. "You can't change anything."
"Oh, I can," he growled. "I can pound his face in until he realizes what he's done!"
"That won't solve anything!" Kagome shouted. "Right now, we need to be here, with Sango. We can worry about what to do with Miroku later on."
You know, you pray
This can't
be the way
You cry, you say
Something's got to change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine
Sango stood, looking down at her sleeping friends. It had gotten late, and the rain began to start again. They fell asleep long after she did, and she could hear them talking while she dreamt. Yawning, she stretched with her arms in the air and walked into the bathroom to wash her face.
Her stomach turned, and she cupped the sink as she felt her legs buckle. A wave of nausea swept over her, and she blinked to regain herself. She could feel the vomit form, and she quickly moved to kneel in front of the toilet.
The acid, burning lump in her throat tried to force its way out of her mouth. She swallowed it, feeling the burning triple throughout her body. It felt as though her body was being torn from the inside out, and it was starting with her stomach. It wasn't long before she couldn't hold it in any longer. The memories drained from her body and fell into the toilet, being flushed into the sewer to where she'd never see them again.
Taking a deep breath, the tears flooding from her eyes, she quickly ripped off a large chunk of toilet paper and wiped her wet chin, feeling another wave come up. She tried to fight it, but it didn't work. She couldn't breathe, the pain was too much. Her body felt as though it was going to burst open any second.
With a cry of pain, she fell backwards, her head hitting the bottom of the bathtub. The sobs came out all too quickly, and she gasped for air, her fingers curling around a towel she had knocked onto the floor. She clutched it close to her, curling up into a tight ball to stop the pain.
But there was nothing she could do. The pain was still there. Her porcelain heart was breaking because the man she loved had cheated on her and had a son. There was nothing more she could do but lie there and cry herself to sleep. There was no silver lining.
XOXOX
When she walked out of the bathroom the next morning, Inuyasha and Kagome had gone, leaving her with fully-stocked cupboards of food that would last her weeks. She took a shower, wanting to get the dirt and filth she had on her off. She wanted to be clean, she wanted to be new. She didn't want to be the same person she was.
But the shower didn't bring comfort. She still felt dirty, she still felt sick to her stomach.
Running her fingers through her wet hair, she walked into the hallway and paused. There was someone standing outside of her door. Frowning, she walked up to look through the glass.
The blood drained from her head, and the air flew from her lungs. She could feel the world spinning wildly under her feet, and she felt as though she was falling with it. Closing her eyes, hoping the man on the other side of the door would go away, she had no control over herself.
When she opened her eyes again, he was standing over her, his hand behind her head and sitting her against his knee. She felt dizzy again, feeling the wave of nausea sweep over her once more. Shaking her head, she stood, tripping over his foot and falling onto the hallway table. It rattled; her keys and last week's mail fell to the floor.
"Sango, lay down a moment," he said, standing up and placing his hands on her shoulders to help keep her steady. "You've been through a lot, you shouldn't over do it."
Anger fumed inside of her, but she couldn't argue. She had to wait until she was well enough before she could lash out on him. He led her towards the couch, placing pillows under her head and a blanket over her shivering body.
"You know," he began, taking her hand in his and stroking it softly with his fingers. "We always did plan for this to happen," he said with a smile. "You lying here sick, and me sitting here taking care of you. I guess we were right, this is how it would happen."
She shook her head softly, "Not exactly how I wanted it to happen, though."
He sighed, looking down at their hands. "I truly am sorry for what I did, Sango. If I could rewind time, you know I would take it back."
"But you can't," she whispered, closing her eyes so not to look at him. She didn't want to see him, didn't want to forgive him. It was too late. "You have a son."
"Biologically, yes. But, Miro broke up with me. She doesn't want me to father this child."
Sango opened her eyes and found him looking away from her. "Why?"
He grinned, "After she met you, she said it would be wrong of me to stay and help her. She said I would be disobeying fate if I left you."
Sango smiled to herself, thankful for Miro and her kindness. "But it still doesn't change anything."
"I know," he whispered, bringing her hand up and kissing it softly. "I still cheated when I shouldn't have. I still lied to you. I broke your heart, and I can never forgive myself for that."
Tears stung in her eyes, and she fought them back. She didn't want to cry again. She didn't want to go back into that world of pain. "Miroku?"
He looked at her, "yes?"
"I forgive you," she whispered softly. "Please, don't make me break any longer."
He picked her up and wrapped her inside his arms. "I promise I will never let you break again, Sango."