Iruka was laughing as he let himself in to Kakashi's apartment. "What's so amusing?" asked Kakashi, as he took what looked like a pillowcase from Iruka.

"Sai's been doing some research on obscure festivals, celebrations, holidays from distant lands..."

"Yes, I'd heard he was reading his way through the library. What of it?"

"Well, I thought it would make a good lesson for my students. It's good to know the customs of a land you might. . . "

"A land you might end up visiting for assassination and espionage?"

"I was going to say, a land you might visit, especially on a diplomatic mission. Anyway, I let Sai give a summary of some of his favorite festivals, whatever he thought would be interesting to the students."

"Like Kanamara Matsuri?"

"Never heard of it."

"It's in Icha Icha volume 17, page 32. Jiraiya was telling me, while he was researching..."

Kakashi trailed off as Iruka bounced a Gobstopper off his chin.

"Anyway, Sai gave a presentation on Halloween a few days ago. The students ignored the history, the religious implications, the cultural whatchadidgits, and concentrated on the modern interpretation of the holiday. Apparently it involves dressing up in costumes and begging for candy. They showed up in costumes this morning, but I had to confiscate the candy after they started using it as improvised weapons. I gave most of it back at the end of the day, but somehow I ended up with all of that left over."

"Uh-huh."

"You're welcome to anything in there. Jawbreakers, twix, twizzlers, whatever you want. I don't need any of it."

Kakashi was studiously avoiding eye contact. "I thought you didn't read those things."

"What?"

"Look, I admire Shikamaru as a shinobi. He's smarter than me, and I've said as much. He's an excellent ninja-but that's as far as that goes. He's still a student, as far as I'm concerned; it doesn't matter what rank he's made."

"What in the world are you going on about?"

"Icha Icha Mystery, Volume 17, page 53..." Kakashi flipped the book open and stuck it under Iruka's nose.

"I told you, I don't want to... that looks a lot like Shikamaru..."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I don't know when Jiraiya started writing that sort of manga, but you can't tell me that that mask and eye-patch wearing guy doesn't look just like me."

"I don't know, he looks a little bit bigger than you."

"That's just the way he's holding his kunai," Kakashi said, defensively.

"Well, that certainly is a creative use of licorice ropes. I wouldn't think they'd be strong enough for that. Maybe you could reinforce them with chakra ropes or something."

Iruka smirked as he looped a licorice rope around Kakashi's neck and dragged him to the bedroom.

"Come on. Let's find out if page 54 is a feasible use of caramels."

------------

Kanamara Matsuri, otherwise known as the Festival of the Steel Phallus. If Konoha didn't celebrate it before, I'm sure Sai will start something now.