The tension in the bullpen was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Gibbs was in one of his infamous moods. Regardless of the fact that all evidence pointed to Petty Officer Grant, his gut was telling him otherwise. So, the team sat there digging through his bank accounts, service records, everything. Heck, Kate had even had his college transcript faxed over. Not that she was complaining really. After nearly five years at NCIS she had learned to enjoy times like these. She'd learned to enjoy Tony pulling her pigtails. It made her feel like she was part of a real family. She'd adjusted to McGee and his tech babble. She found a best friend in the happy goth downstairs. Ducky had become like a father to her, and sweet Palmer had finally stopped drooling in her presence. She had even gotten used to the Massod liaison officer Ziva David. Not that that hadn't come with its own set of challenges. It's hard to trust someone whose brother held you hostage, kidnapped you, and tried, almost successfully, to shoot you on a damn rooftop. Their relationship had evolved and matured though. She was getting used to having a girl friend on the team who understood her job and didn't require sleepovers and lunch dates. The one thing she hadn't gotten used to, though, was one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. When Ziva joined the team, Kate had volunteered to shift her desk closer to Gibbs's and let Ziva put hers in front of Tony. That idea was less perfect than she thought, though. On the one hand, she was no longer the target of Tony's food throwing. On the other hand, given the new desk arrangements, hers twisted toward the right and Gibbs's the left, she was often times in uncomfortable positions with the boss. Oh yes, of all the things Caitlin Todd was used to, the presence of Agent Gibbs was not one of them.
"Kate, with me." Gibbs barked, bringing her out of her daydream. She slid her chair back as she reached for her gun only to slam directly into Gibbs.
"Damn it," she cursed under her breath, but in her haste did not notice the grin that spread across her boss's face. She half flouted, had skipped toward the elevator, and managed to sneak a smug grin at Tony on the way. She stepped into the elevator, then turned toward her so, so sexy boss.
"Are you gonna tell me where we're going, Gibbs? I can handle a certain amount of suspense, but we've been working this damn thing for two weeks. I'd like to know if you have any information worth sharing." Kate said, harshly. She knew she was walking a thin line, but he frustrated her, professionally, personally, and sexually, more than anyone she had ever met.
Gibbs reached out and flipped the emergency switch. He stepped so close to her, she could have sworn she felt his heartbeat on her chest. He leaned his head down, and turned toward her ear, then he hoarsely whispered,
"I'm taking you out for coffee, Kate. I hope that's alright. You seemed um, frustrated. I thought you could use a break."
Kate didn't know whether to be flattered, scared, or just freaked out. She decided to go with a little mix of the three.
Sitting across from her, Gibbs was starting to rethink this coffee break. She looked simply delicious twisting her hair around her finger. It wasn't in a flirty, girly sort of way, though. He could tell she was nervous, and it turned him on. She was talking about the case, that much he knew. What she was saying exactly, though, he couldn't begin to guess. What he could give you one hell of a detailed report on though, was her lips. She might have had on lipstick this morning, but any sign of it was gone now. The only color came after she pursed her lips and released and they took on a red color right in the middle. She finished her latte then, and the milky liquid left a hint of shine, but she quickly licked it away. Oh, the things he wanted her to do with that tongue.
"Gibbs, are you listening?" Kate waved her hand in front of him.
"Oh, uh, yeah, the case…"he let his words trail off a little. He was at a loss for words. There was a reason he didn't talk much.
"I was saying that maybe Petty Officer Grant's wife did it. She knew he was planning on leaving her. Maybe she was pissed enough to frame him for murder." Kate shifted in her seat. Gibb's glare was making her uncomfortable.
"Maybe you're right. Does her alibi check out?" She shrugged her shoulders. Alibis had not been her job.
Gibbs stood then, and held his hand out for Kate to follow. She took it, out of habit, he guessed. They walked halfway back to the Navy Yard before she realized she was still holding it, and quickly let go. That simple act was enough to send Gibbs's heart to his stomach. He wanted to slap himself over the back of the head. He just couldn't decide if it was for falling for Kate or making rule #12.
Back in the bullpen, Kate fidgeted in her seat. She tried to work, but all she could think about was Gibbs. Gibbs's sparkling blue eyes, Gibbs's hands, calloused from working on his boat, yet still soft to the touch, Gibbs's deep gravely laugh that she may have heard only once, but will never forget, Gibbs's back and its strong muscles tensed under his shirt as he leaned over his keyboard just inches behind her. She also thought about Gibbs's three red-haired ex wives, Gibbs's first wife Shannon, and their daughter Kelly. She thought about his deceased mother, and his estranged relationship with sweet Jackson. Why do I think he sees anything in me? I don't fit into his world. I will never compete with Shannon, or any of his ex wives. It's pointless, Kate, she told herself. You are going to die a lonely woman in love with the one man you can't have. The thought scared her more than it should, and a tear fell down her cheek and splattered onto the report lying on her desk. Before she had a chance to wipe it away, they started to multiply and she couldn't make them stop. She wiped furiously at them, but Tony saw before she had the chance to hide.
"Katie girl! Something in your eye?" he teased, knowing fully well she was crying. A wide grin spread across his face as Gibbs turned to look at her. She was going to kill Tony. McGee was babbling to himself about gigabytes and firewalls, and Ziva had walked to the restroom. Gibbs was the only one who heard Tony's remark. Not that it mattered, if there was one person she didn't wish to explain her tears to, it was Gibbs.
"Everyone, go home," Gibbs said, half surprised himself. He never took his eyes off Agent Todd though.
"Yes, sweet bed, here I come!" Tony dramatically enthused. He was a little confused though, both by Kate's tears and Gibbs's demand. Ziva was returning from the bathroom, so he grabbed her coat and gun and ushered her toward the elevator, giving her a silent I'll explain later look. McGee followed, not questioning the order, just thanking God he was going home. Kate didn't move though. He had hoped she wouldn't. He wasn't the biggest fan of chasing women out into the parking lot. He was much too old for that. Her tear stained cheeks alarmed him. What does she have to cry over? What brought it own so quickly? How could he make it better? He had several answers to the last question, but he doubted he'd ever get to use them.
"Kate," he whispered as he rested a hand on her back, "what is wrong with you?" He tried to sound concerned, not demanding, but still keep it professional. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and rock her to sleep, but…he knew better than to even dream.
She turned in her seat to face him. With one leg folded up into the chair, resting on the armrest she put a hand on his knee (he guessed unconsciously). He could tell she was choosing her words carefully, but that was Kate. She never spoke without reason and tact.
"Gibbs, I'm sorry for falling apart. You didn't have to send everyone home. I apologize, and don't give me that rule #6 crap either. I have made it pretty clear that I am weak already today." It was hot the way she got mad, and the way her breasts filled the drop neck of her cream tank top when she leaned over to articulate the last part. You shouldn't be thinking this, Jethro he lectured himself. Not that it made one bit of difference, though. Now he was the one choosing words carefully,
"Kate, I am fairly certain I asked you what was wrong, and none of that little…outburst…sounded like an explanation." Whew, you made it though that, Jethro.
"Boss, listen, I don't want to explain my tears to you. They're over a guy, a coworker, and I don't need a lecture about rule #12, or keeping personal feelings out of work. Trust me, I got it. I just let it get the best of me today. I am sorry." The last sentence she said as more of a closing argument, and it was clearly not up for discussion. She stood, slid her sig in its holster, and pulled on her coat. He watched her walk halfway to the elevator before her words really sunk in. Someone at work? It wasn't Tony, was it? It definitely was not McGee, even if she LIKED him, she wouldn't step on Abby's toes like that. Ducky? He didn't think so. Palmer was much too needy for her, he was sure of that. Kate needed someone strong, to let her be weak and not judge or question. She needed someone to pick up the pieces when she fell apart. She needed maturity and gentleness. Damn it, she needed him!
"Kate!" he yelled. To his surprise, she actually stopped. She turned and looked at him expectantly.
She couldn't believe she had just said all that. He must think I'm some kind of deranged moron, she thought. But what is he doesn't? What I wouldn't give for him to call out my name right now. I'd give anything to here that crack in his voice,
"Kate!" She heard him yell, interrupting her thoughts. Okay, Caitlin, don't get your hopes up here. He doesn't love you, she tried to tell herself. It didn't stop the butterflies, though. She turned on her heels to face him.
"What Gibbs? I would very much like for this day to end, so if you could get on with-" he cut her off.
"Who is it?" She needed no clarification for his question. What she did need, though, was a way out. She considered running down the stairs. He would follow, though, she knew. Lying was another option, but Gibbs knew her better than anyone. He'd see right through it. Diversion was her best strategy.
"Gibbs, it's really none of your business." She tried to keep an even tone. What is that look on his face? Pity, shame, guilt, disappointment? Wait, disappointment? There might have been a time when Kate Todd would have been strong enough to look her boss in the eye and tell him go to hell and get out of her personal life, but after five years of slow torture, she had weakened, a lot. Not to mention the look on his face. It was different from his usual unreadable expression, but no less easy to read. He had walked toward her, and was now in arms reach. If he stays there, I'll probably be able to control myself, she decided. Of course, he took a step closer. He opened his mouth to speak then and she could smell the coffee on his breath and the sawdust on his skin. Involuntarily, she breathed in deeply, trying to memorize the tantalizing odor.
"Katie, I'm making it my business. I need to know who has you so distraught. If I need to beat them to a pulp, consider it done. If they need a bullet in their heart, I can handle that too. Heck if you just want permission to break rule #12, I'll grant it. I can't stand to see you cry, though. So tell me, what do you need from me." He silently prayed he hadn't come on to strong. She brought out the deepest emotions in him, though. Judging by the tears that were now streaming down her face, he guessed his prayer hadn't exactly been answered. She seemed to be pleased with his emotional outburst, though.
He reached out to wipe the tears from her cheek. She gasped a little when his thumb raked against her cheek. Instead of backing away, as Kate Todd protocol would predict, she laid her hand on top of his and looked straight into his eyes. For the first time since the day he met Shannon, he felt butterflies in his stomach. She might not have spoken yet, but her eyes were telling him everything. It was him. He was the bastard making her cry.
He couldn't help it. He just had to be closer to her. He pulled her into his chest and kissed her hair. She broke then, and the tears at her desk seemed microscopic compared to the sea she was emptying onto his shirt.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that. She was enjoying being wrapped up in his arms. She felt so relieved to have finally told her secret, even though, ironically, she hadn't spoken a word. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed away, but his tight hold around her waist kept her from going far.
"Gibbs," she whispered, not trusting herself to talk to loudly, "take me home." She didn't know what she was offering, exactly, or what he was thinking, but she did know that she could not spend another minute in that bullpen.
He had simply nodded, and ushered her toward the elevator. His arm stayed protectively wrapped around her waist, though.
He walked her to his car, and opened the passenger door for her. They rode in comfortable silence to her house. As they pulled into the driveway, though, she could tell Gibbs was a little anxious. He put the car in park, but before he had time to speak, she said:
"Gibbs, I want you to listen for a minute. Please don't interrupt," she paused for him to agree, which he did with a slight nod of his head. "I will never compete with Shannon, nor will I ever try to replace the memories you have with her and Kelly. I will never be the red-haired, green-eyed type you're used to. I want to be with you though. I want to hold you close, and make love to you until morning. I will not be a notch on your belt though, and I will not be dismissed as a 'one time thing' come morning. I need commitment. I want to be that girl you can't wait to come home to. I want to fight with you about what color to paint the bedroom, and what to name the baby. I want an 'us'. Not just for tonight, but forever. If you can't handle it though, I get it. Just don't lead me on. Don't use me, please." The last part came out a bit more needy and pleading than she had meant it, but she got her point across, she thought.
"Katie. Can I call you Katie?" She nodded her head, and he continued, "I loved Shannon and Kelly with my whole heart, but they're gone. I have three ex wives, who helped me get over it, and I'll always be thankful for that, but none of them stirred the same emotions in me that Shannon did. No one ever had, not until the day I stepped onto Air Force One." He waited for her to correct him and tell him that it was actually simply Alpha Foxtrot 29000, but for the second time in less than an hour, she broke her own protocol.
"I don't know how to tell you how much you mean to me," he leaned in to her, so that his nose was almost touching hers, "but if you will just trust that I'll still be here in the morning, I think I can show you." He spoke carefully, trying not to sound desperate. Just because he was bearing his soul didn't mean he could let all self-respect fly out the window.
He got his answer, then. She reached behind his head, and pulled him into her. Her lips crashed into his and, for the first time in years, he felt whole.