A Late Night Walk on Christmas Eve
A/N: Merry Christmas!
"Come on, Thirteen. Don't you want to dance with me?" Allison Cameron pulled on the arm of her colleague.
"Cameron, let's just sit for a second okay?" Thirteen was sent to the bar per House's request, in order to check up on the little blond former-duckling.
"Thirteen, what's wrong?" Cameron whispered as she leaned in closer to Thirteen.
It was apparent to the brunette that Cameron had one two many shots that night. When Thirteen had walked through the door, Cameron didn't recognize her at first. It wasn't until Thirteen 'introduced' herself to the already intoxicated immunologist that Cameron had figured it out.
"How many drinks have you had?" Thirteen asked when she finally got Cameron to sit back down.
"You can't do that," Cameron pouted. "You drink, and do worse things all the time. Don't come in here like some self-righteous baby sitter."
"Cameron, I'm not trying to do that at all. I'm just worried about you."
Thirteen admitted that she had been stupid in the past and would probably stupid in the future, but this was different. This was the perfectly put together Allison Cameron. The one who was always happy and caring. Thirteen could only guess that it was Cameron's recent split with Chase that made her turn to the booze. It broke Thirteen's heart. She always held out a shred of hope that maybe she could be the blonde's cure. But no, she was sitting in a bar next to an intoxicated doctor who she has been secretly in love with for months. Thirteen knew that she would never forgive herself if she got Cameron in her bed simply because she couldn't think straight. That's funny, Thirteen thought to herself, I can't remember the last time I thought straight.
"You're not worried about me. You're only here because House told you to check up on me." Cameron tossed her hand in the air. "Can I get another one of these?" She asked a bartender, pointing to the empty shot glass in front of her.
Thirteen rolled her eyes. She looked at the bartender, who was wearing a festive Santa hat. "She doesn't need any more," She glanced back at her companion. "Cameron, please stop."
"No," Cameron said, completing the cliché of a stubborn drunk.
"Why don't we walk?" Thirteen hopped off the barstool, hoping the idea would resonate with Cameron. The blonde didn't move. Thirteen gently pulled on her forearm. "Come on, the fresh air will do you good!" Cameron shook her head "no" like an adorable five year old. "Hey, I bet there are a lot of Christmas lights up!" Thirteen couldn't help but chuckle a little, but if that was the only way she could get Cameron out of the bar, so be it.
Cameron's eyes lit up. "Yea, let's go." Thirteen nodded at the bartender as they left.
Thirteen led Cameron out the door and into the snowy street. The buildings all around them were lit up in festive colors, as well as the trees that lined the street.
They walked quietly for a little while, Cameron breathing in the chilled fresh air, deeply so that it inflated her lungs.
"Cameron," Thirteen said after a little bit of silence. "Why did you go to the bar tonight?"
Cameron glanced over at the beauty next to her. Soft tiny snowflakes were sprinkling her hair. White snow was falling all around them, painting a beautiful picture. Cameron wished that she could see it clearly and not through the delusional glasses she had on.
Thirteen looked back at her. It wasn't until Thirteen stopped walking that she noticed that they were in the middle of a park. The trees were caked in white gold and Cameron's lips looked perfectly perplexed.
"Do you mean because it's Christmas Eve?" Cameron finally answered after a long thought process. Connections were beginning to be made in her head. Thirteen was with her, in the middle of Plainsboro Park. She was with her drunken ass, the night before Christmas.
"No, well yes. But no. I meant, why did you go to the bar alone?" Thirteen stuffed her hands deep in her pockets, getting colder by the second. She knew that Cameron wasn't feeling the same effect because of the alcohol in her system.
Cameron looked down at her shoes. "I wasn't planning on it." She rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath. "I wanted to go home. I wanted to walk home." Thirteen found Cameron's drunken ramblings to be adorable, but sad at the same time. She wanted to take the girl in her arms, but she resisted.
"The bar is pretty far away from your apartment."
Cameron's skin was crawling, her mind swirling. Thirteen was making her face the problem that she created for herself.
"I know." When Cameron looked up to face Thirteen, the younger doctor could see a mistiness in her eyes.
Thirteen bit her bottom lip, wanting nothing but to comfort Cameron. It wasn't her intention to make the girl cry.
Cool wind was blowing against their faces, making the single tear streaming down Cameron's face cold to the touch.
"Cameron…" Thirteen shifted back in forth in her shoes.
"No, it's okay. It's good." Cameron held up the hand she wasn't using to brush away the tear. "Look, I'll catch a cab and go home. You should go home too. You should be with your family. You should be happy, Remy. You deserve, you deserve to be happy- happier than me."
Thirteen could tell Cameron was straying further away from her controlled conscious and closer to her inner thoughts. She called Thirteen, "Remy". When was the last time someone had done that? She also had to know that Thirteen had no family to go 'home' to. They were both in the same boat.
"Cameron, just relax. It's okay." Thirteen's hands rested softly on Cameron's shoulders- trying desperately to calm the girl who was slowly losing it in front of her.
"It's true though!" Now there were a few more tears welling in Cameron's eyes. "You are a much better person than me. You're such a great doctor, you care so much about everyone."
"Cameron, I think you're getting me confused with yourself…" Thirteen joked.
"No, no!" Cameron wasn't mad but emotional in a way that Thirteen couldn't quite pinpoint. Cameron grabbed Thirteen's upper arms, stepping closer to the brunette. She couldn't feel the snowflakes on the tip of her nose and eyelashes. She was completely focused on Thirteen. "I'm not that person. I'm not what you think. I've made so many mistakes, Remy. So many, that I couldn't ask you to forgive me."
"You don't need my forgiveness for anything, Cameron. Look, let's go sit-"
"No, please just listen." Cameron nearly begged.
"Okay," Thirteen nodded. "I'm listening."
"I've kept a secret from you. I want to tell you." Cameron absentmindedly touched Thirteen's cheek.
Thirteen's breath hitched, the warmth of Cameron's bare hand on her freezing cheek making her internally grin. She gulped, and pulled Cameron's hand away.
"Cameron, how about I get you home? And if you want to tell me when you wake up tomorrow, you can." Thirteen began to lead Cameron out of the park.
"No, I won't be able to do it." Cameron almost whined. "You said you would listen!"
Thirteen rolled her eyes, almost getting annoyed. She wanted desperately to know what Cameron's secret was- but she wasn't about to get the information out of a drunk girl.
"I will listen. I just won't let you say something that you wouldn't normally." Thirteen tried to reason with her.
Then, Cameron buried her head into Thirteen's shoulder. Thirteen was taken aback but didn't move because she didn't want Cameron to fall. She wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.
"I don't want to do this, to be like this. You don't deserve to do this. You shouldn't be the one that has to do this." Cameron's muffled voice could barely be heard through Thirteen's coat.
Thirteen closed her eyes, trying not to get too caught up. "You're fine, Cameron. I wouldn't want you to be any different."
"This isn't how I imagined our only real conversations going." Cameron tightened her grip around Thirteen.
"We've had conversations before." Thirteen tried to encourage her.
"But I haven't said anything that I've wanted to. What's a conversation without meaning?"
Thirteen smirked. "Small talk."
Cameron lifted her head. She couldn't help but focus on how beautiful Thirteen looked under the Christmas lights all around them. Snow was still falling, framing Thirteen's face. The brunette doctor looked down at Cameron and actually pushed a stray hair out of her face.
"What do you want to do?" Thirteen asked, whispering softly.
Cameron closed her eyes, taking in the feeling of Thirteen holding her. She wanted more from Thirteen. How can you ask for more? Cameron thought. She's standing in the middle of freezing snowfall, holding you, taking care of you.
"Cameron?" Thirteen snapped her out of her thoughts.
Looking into Thirteen's eyes, Cameron decided what she wanted. "I want to kiss you."
The bluntness of that statement made Thirteen gasp a little. "Cameron, I-"
"Remy, I'm not going to beg you to kiss me." Cameron said, the disappointment of rejection sobering her up.
"It's not that." Thirteen tried. "Trust me, I would under different circumstances."
Cameron's ears perked up, a small smile tugging on her lips. "Oh really?"
Thirteen chuckled. "You happy now?"
"What are you doing tonight?" Cameron asked, not caring that it was forward of her.
Thirteen bit her bottom lip and looked around them at all of the trees. They were standing in such a lush winter wonderland and the colors surrounding them made Cameron's eyes light up. "There's this concert, a few blocks from here. There's caroling and hot chocolate. If you're up for it…"
"I would love to."
"You sure?"
"I'm feeling much better, promise."
Thirteen nodded, taking Cameron's hand in her own. "Okay, let's go." When Cameron glanced at her, she raised the older doctor's hand to her lips and gently laid a kiss to the smooth skin.
Cameron grinned at her, sharing a second or two with her when they didn't move or say a word. Then they began walking toward the gazebo on the other side of the park, where a group of carolers were singing the melody of Silent Night.