EXCALIBUR: Vigil
Luba Kmetyk
DISCLAIMER:
Pryde and Wisdom, Excalibur and the X-men all are trademarks of Marvel Comics. This story is an unauthorized work done purely for my personal enjoyment, and is not intended to infringe on any of their rights in or profits from these characters. But this story is copyright to me.
BRIEF EXPLANATION:
This story is chronologically the first in the "Idylls of the Cat" series (except for flashbacks in other stories), even though it's not the first to be written or posted. I started this soon after Excalibur #92 (Pete vs Pete), and have made no effort to keep this within more recent Marvel continuity. This story represents an attempt to fill in some of the missing scenes not shown by Ellis in #92. And I know I've ignored a lot of things Ellis has done with Pryde and Wisdom since then, not because I don't accept them (I revere Ellis as gospel), but because it would involve too much minor revision.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
I'd like to thank both Tina Sennvik and Suzie Campos for much helpful discussion and feedback.
NOTES:
This is one story in a series of loosely-plotted stories entitled "Idylls of the Cat" that are mostly Pryde and Wisdom, and the others' reaction to Kitty's new relationship. Most of the stories in the series are not action or adventure, they're mainly sex and/or conversations, like this one. Other stories in the series so far include
- Vigil (Excalibur)
- Pulling their Fat out of the Fire (Excalibur/Hellblazer)
- Time Goes By (Excalibur)
- Bearing Tidings of Joy (Excalibur/Storm)
- You Can't Go Home Again (Excalibur/X-men)
- Close Encounters of the Lethal Kind (Excalibur/X-men/DV8/Hellblazer)
- What God Has Joined Together (Pryde&Wisdom/X-Files)
- All Nice And Gift-Wrapped (Pryde&Wisdom)
- Dark Reflections (Excalibur/Black Air)
- The Shadow of A Starless Night (X-men/Excalibur)
- The Glow of a Starlit Dawn (Pryde&Wisdom)
These stories can all be found on my own Pryde&Wisdom webpage at http://home.att.net/~lubakmetyk/
If you want to comment, send email to LubaKmetyk@worldnet.att.net
Part 1 Moira
The door opened silently, and Moira MacTaggart stepped out into the shadowed hallway. She was exhausted, brushing sweat-soaked hair off her haggard face with a shaking hand. The pills she'd taken had counteracted the cloud of alcohol in her system long enough for her to function as the outstanding doctor she was, but she was now paying the price. However, she had a few more things she needed to do, before this long night would finally be over for her.
Moira came up the spot where Kitty Pryde sat huddled on the floor. The younger woman was leaning her back against the wall, and hugging her knees to her chest. The others had all offered to stay and share the wait with her, but she'd asked to be left alone, feeling she couldn't take their sympathy now, couldn't cope with good wishes and intentions, couldn't deal with their efforts at conversation. This wasn't a villain or monster they could help her defeat, there wasn't even any enemy she could fight, and Kitty didn't handle passive waiting well at all. She desperately wished there was something, anything, that she could hit.
Kitty looked up at Moira with a dazed look in her eyes, afraid to ask the obvious question. She'd sat out here for the entire time MacTaggart was operating, wondering bitterly if she'd have to learn to live with the responsibility for a man's death, for her lover's death, at the same time fearing that she'd also have to learn to live with the responsibility for turning her old friend and former teammate into a murderer. Moira didn't leave her in suspense for long. "Unless something unforeseen happens, he should make it. But, I willnae lie ta ye, it was verra, verra close..."
The slim, brown-haired girl scrambled up to her feet ungracefully, her muscles all stiff from sitting so long, and clutched at Moira's arm for reassurance. "You're sure? He really will be all right?" At Moira's confirming nod, she let out a long sigh of relief, then asked hesitantly, "Can I see him? Please, Moira, just for a little bit..."
Opening her mouth to veto that suggestion, Moira took in Kitty's trembling lips, gouged where she'd bitten at them repeatedly while waiting, and her large brown eyes brilliant with the tears whose damp tracks were visible on her cheeks, and changed her mind, swallowing the lecture she'd been about to deliver. "Aye, lass, ye can go in t'im now, if ye want..." MacTaggart still wasn't clear on exactly what was going on between these two, due to the large quantity of Guinness she'd imbibed in her aborted effort to unwind, but it was obviously much more than just a mistaken sense of responsibility for inspiring the attack on Wisdom.
She turned back and opened the door she'd just shut behind herself a minute ago and ushered Kitty into the room. Moira followed her in, even though she had other things she needed to see to, including going to check on how Peter Rasputin was doing. But she knew from long experience that the first sight of Wisdom would be a shock to Kitty, and she'd likely need to repeat and expand upon her reassurances.
The girl was indeed stunned to see Pete's condition, coming to an abrupt halt as soon as she was far enough into the room to take in the details. He was lying in the bed, covered to the waist by a white sheet, with an enormous bandage visible around his entire chest and another large bandage around his head. What she could see of his arms and shoulders was covered with large, multicolored bruises, cuts and contusions, and she was pretty sure his lower body under the sheet was in the same state. Tubes of various kinds ran into different points of his body, mostly carrying gurgling unknown fluids of various colors, a few more simply carrying signal readings to various sensors and monitors scattered around the room, alien Shi'ar devices next to the most advanced human technology available, with a few of Moira's favored antique instruments also near at hand.
Pete himself was white and still, and for one long moment that seemed to last an eternity Kitty thought he wasn't breathing, until she crept closer and saw his chest moving almost imperceptibly. She came nearer still to the bed, until she could reach out a hand and touch him gingerly, as if to verify that he was there, he was warm, he was alive. Then she took his hand, clutching it in hers tightly as though she could force him to feel the contact despite his unconsciousness.
Turning to Moira, who was standing back slightly watching Kitty carefully while giving in to several enormous yawns herself, she asked, "Are you sure he'll be all right, Moira? He looks so..." Her voice trailed away, as she couldn't bring herself to put her fears in words.
"I repaired the head trauma, moved the skull fragments that were causing internal bleeding an' relieved the pressure in his cranium 'afore any permanent damage was done. An' I got his lung reinflated after I got his broken ribs back in place." Moira's accent lessened as she recited the medical details, knowing Kitty would find bluntness more believable that a more delicate account. "It'll take a while, an' he'll spend some time in a wheelchair, but he should recover fully. But I willnae lie ta ye, it was a very close thing. One more blow might hae finished him beyond anything I could hae repaired..."
"And that would have solved a whole lot of problems for all of you, wouldn't it, Moira?" Kitty's voice was bitter, now. "You've never wanted Pete around, or accepted him, and that would have been such a convenient way to get rid of him..."
"Dammit, lassie..." Moira's retort started out hot and angry, but she calmed down quickly as she took in Kitty's strained face, the pupils in her eyes still dilated in shock. MacTaggart realized suddenly that Kitty herself had been quite traumatized by seeing Colossus beating Wisdom to a pulp, on top of the drinks she'd had at the pub, and wasn't thinking straight, and she went on in a softer, gentler voice, "I will do ma best f'r 'im, Kitty, ye know A would f'r anyone, but he's one of us now..."
Moira knew Kitty needed to rest and recover herself, but she realized it was probably a hopeless task to try to get Kitty to leave Wisdom's side now. She pulled a chair over next to the bed, and pushed Kitty to sit down in it, which the young girl did with a grateful sigh, still hanging onto Pete's limp hand.
"He may be officially one of us now, yes, Kurt and Brian did both agree to that back at the pub, but you don't still really accept him, do you, Moira?" Kitty couldn't believe it had been just a few hours ago, that she and the renegade Black Air agent had announced their feelings for each other, and his desire to join Excalibur to stay with her.
"A mind when ye dinnae trust him either, lassie, an' that were no' sae long ago..." Even in her own deep exhaustion, the Scotswoman noted Kitty's spirited defense of Pete and had to wonder to herself when she remembered all the bickering between those two when Wisdom first joined them on the Genosha mission, and all the fervent mistrust Kitty herself had expressed repeatedly about the Black Air man. Something had certainly happened during their brief trip down to London, and Moira very definitely wanted to know what had changed Kitty's opinion of Wisdom so drastically and so quickly, but she was much too tired to try to find out any further details now, despite her own almost overwhelming curiosity.
She settled for simply answering the question, as the fastest way to end the discussion so she could leave. "We, Charles an' A, were worried because it were obvious that the leak aboot the Legacy virus infecting humans came from Muir. Rory helped me search the computer logs an' found that there had been unauthorized access t' our files. An' it looked like there weren't that many people who might ha' got access tae our system. We couldnae suspect ye, or Kurt or Brian or Meggan, t'would be ludicrous. Wisdom was the only newcomer in that time period, except for wee Dougie just before. Rahne came after, an' A'd never consider suspecting her anyway, jis' like A'd never suspect ye, or Amanda either. It wasn't until later that we realized that destroying the X-men's computers during the Phalanx attack took oot their security systems, which would hae let anyone break intae our systems through our satellite link tae Westchester. So anyone could ha' stolen the data, they dinnae have tae be here tae get it..."
Moira was pleased to see Kitty recovering her usual ebullient spirits enough to give her an exasperated look. "I know how the computer security suites work, Moira, better than you do, probably. So why keep picking on Pete?"
"Because he was here. Because A dinnae trust Black Air, an' because A dinnae expect that smelly Sassenach tae come back here after you all got back fro' Genosha, or after ye took 'im down tae London. An' A dinnae ken he stayed around because o' ye, was interested in ye an' no' ma research." Moira yawned again suddenly, swaying on her feet, and tried to break off the conversation, which had veered away from urgent medical matters to other issues which could be addressed better after a long period of rest for everyone. "Nay, A dinnae think nae more Wisdom is the leak, A told Charles meself he dinnae have the time here tae break into the files..."
Kitty laughed weakly and assured Moira, "He doesn't have the skills either, I had to break into Black Air's computers for him, and he was pretty grateful, too..." Moira was interested to see her sudden blush, as Kitty privately remembered how close they'd come to kissing for the first time while she was downloading the alien-research data Wisdom had been looking for. "Please, Moira, believe me, trust me if you don't trust him, Pete's all right, he doesn't have any hidden agenda..."
The older, more experienced woman snorted cynically at that naive assurance. "Nae one is completely trustworthy, lass, everybody is hidin' something. Charles trusts me, aye, but I kept the secret of Proteus from him, and from ma husband too, an' A kept Gabrielle Haller's secret aboot her son David, that Legion lad, e'en though I ken he were Charles' son. An' A played god with Magneto's DNA when he was a wee bairn in my care..." Moira saw Kitty was getting upset again, and she felt her own exhaustion cresting over her in a great tidal wave, so she gave up for the time being, just shrugging to finish gently, "But I hope ye're right, Kitty, I hope he's different, f'r yuir sake."
Moira yawned again, another jawbreaker, saying, "Will ye nae go now, an' get some rest yuirself? A promise ye, yon Sassenach will be fine..." But she knew it was pointless even as she spoke.
Kitty shook her head, clutching Pete's limp hand even more tightly. "I want to stay here with him, Moira, please don't make me go..."
Nodding in surrender, Moira turned and left in pursuit of her own well-deserved rest, as Kitty pulled her chair up even closer to the bed, gently holding Wisdom's hand and talking to him in a low crooning voice even though she knew he couldn't hear her.
Part 2 Brian and Meggan
After a short time, with only the beeping of the monitors, the gurgling of the fluids and Wisdom's shallow breaths to listen to, Kitty saw the door swinging open. Meggan held it as Brian came into the room, carrying a japanned tray with a large stoneware mug, fragrant steam rising from it. Meggan let the door close gently, and followed him inside.
Taking the mug off the tray, Meggan held it out to Kitty, saying quietly, "Moira wanted to bring you some hot tea, since you insist on staying with Pete. I said we'd bring it, and I told her to go get some rest herself. She needs it, and she deserves it, too."
Kitty reached up with one hand to take the mug, but her hand was trembling enough she decided two hands would be safer. But, when she tried to let go of Wisdom's hand, she found his fingers clamped down on hers tightly, even as he remained unconscious.
Seeing the problem, Meggan handed the mug to Brian and then reached down to the lovers' clasped hands. At her gentle touch, Pete's fingers relaxed and Kitty was able to withdraw her trapped hand.
"Thank you, Meggan. Are you sure you don't mind?" Kitty looked down doubtfully at where Meggan now held Pete's hand lightly.
"I don't mind a bit, I told you before, he's not as bad as he seems." Meggan smiled at the younger girl reassuringly. "I like him, he makes me feel good when I'm around him..." Kitty suddenly remembered Meggan's less obvious but equally impressive empathic powers, and felt her judgement of Wisdom justified by Meggan's evident liking and acceptance of the man.
After Brian had handed her the mug of hot tea, Kitty took a grateful swallow, and then gagged at the taste, exclaiming "Meggan, this is just terrible! It's even worse than Moira's coffee, what on earth is in this?"
"Moira said to put in lots of extra sugar, it's good for shock," Meggan began explaining, but then Brian continued, "and I poured a shot of whiskey into it, Kitty, for purely therapeutic purposes, of course. Don't worry, it's not Moira's medicinal alcohol, it's a quite decent scotch she keeps hidden away from the rest of us."
Meggan gave him a suspicious look. "And I'd like to know just how you know so much about Moira's liquor supplies..."
Brian shrugged, sidling away from Meggan's not very subtle efforts to smell his breath with the injured-innocent look of an unjustly-accused, long-suffering reformed alcoholic who'd not yet slipped back. "Moira told me where it was, when she told me to give Kitty some... And I'm surprised you're complaining, Kitty, I'd think you'd quite like the whiskey. That drunken lout Wisdom has obviously been busy teaching you to drink, also." Braddock's tone was disapproving.
Kitty split hot tea on herself in shock at that unexpected attack, while Meggan protested, "Brian, that's a terrible thing to say."
"Well, but it's true, love. Just look at Kitty tonight, a young girl drinking in the pub, and I'm sure Wisdom took her out drinking in London also, didn't he, Kitty?" Braddock loomed over Kitty, arms crossed on his chest just adding to his usual bulk. The retired Captain Britain was now preaching his anti-alcohol campaign with the rabid fervor of any reformed convert. He'd forgotten how aggravating it could be, sitting in a pub in the middle of temptation watching others indulge where he couldn't, and his cheerful earlier mood had been progressively deteriorating. "It's legal, yes, but it's not a very good idea, and it just makes it that much easier for Wisdom to manipulate her."
"Pete bought me a drink right after we'd been shot at, yes... He said the pub would be a safe place for us to be, with everybody else there, Black Air had to consider it neutral ground. I don't think that constitutes getting me drunk, Brian." Kitty was infuriated, shaking at Brian's comments as she brushed ineffectually at hot tea stains on her shirt and jeans. She thought fleetingly about throwing the rest of her tea at him, then tried to calm down, telling herself she was overreacting.
"No, of course not, Kitty," Meggan said soothingly. "Brian is just tired and cranky. He doesn't really mean it, he knows he's being unfair to Pete. Having a few drinks is fine, if you can handle the liquor." She frowned unhappily at Brian over Kitty's head.
Kitty was still trembling in anger. "You really hate him, don't you, Brian? You just want him to die, everybody in Excalibur just wants him to die and go away..." The accusations came spilling out wildly, driven by fear and shock and exhaustion, then her voice trailed off uncertainly, as Meggan came over to slip a comforting arm around her shaking shoulders. "I don't understand why you all want to get rid of him..."
Braddock snorted inelegantly. "This from the girl who couldn't stand the man herself, and suddenly you're with him, and you really really like him and you want him to join us so you can be together..." His sarcastic voice parodied her innocent, enthusiastic announcement earlier in the pub. "I can't imagine why I'd be suspicious of this whole situation."
"Brian, stop it!" Meggan was trying to play peacemaker, not very successfully. "Of course we don't want to be rid of Pete, Kitty, he's one of us now, even Brian agreed to that..."
"Well, I didn't have much of a choice now, did I, love?" Brian's reply was sardonic. "But I don't understand what a smart young girl like Kitty could possibly see in this rude, crude boor. He's just a low-class drunken tatterdemalion, and at least ten years older than her to boot. It's pretty hard to imagine a filthy ragamuffin like him sweet-talking his way into her bed. He certainly doesn't much look the part of a smarmy lothario, but I guess all those years of disreputable experience have paid off richly for him, he's managed himself a nice cushy berth after turning on his own people. And I still think Wisdom must have gotten Kitty drunk or something in London, once he got her alone and away from all of us, and taken advantage of her. Why else would she be with him?"
Meggan was taking a breath to argue with Brian again, when Kitty pulled away from Meggan's light embrace and jumped in ahead of her. "It's all right, Meggan, I can answer for myself. And don't you talk about me like I'm not even here, Brian bloody Captain Britain. I'm not an innocent child, and Pete didn't take advantage of me, that's ridiculous." Kitty stopped to take a deep, calming breath after her vehement retort, then continued in a softer tone as she looked down at the unconscious man whose hand she still clutched fiercely, "I'm grown up enough I know appearances don't matter, it's only what's inside that really counts. And absolutely all that happened between the two of us in London is I learned that Pete has a good heart and cares about people even if he does try too hard to hide it, and that means a lot to me..." As she reached out to lay her other hand gently on Wisdom's bare chest just above the bandaging, Kitty reassured herself that that disingenuous reply wasn't really a lie, almost everything between them had happened after they left London to go on to Dream Nails.
"And how do you know all that, all of a sudden? What lies did he fill you with?" Meggan was shaking her head at Braddock in exasperation as he continued to challenge Kitty, who was too tired and shocked and upset to realize that Brian did truly care about her and her welfare, even if his concern was being applied with a distinctly heavy hand. "He'd say anything, promise anything. I know, because I always did..."
Even if Kitty remained oblivious to Brian's good intentions as she only heard his harsh words, a harshness actually directed more at his past self than at her or Wisdom, Meggan could recognize that he was sincerely trying to save the younger girl from entering a potentially painful future relationship with an older man of dubious background, history and habits. However, Meggan could also understand Kitty resenting his preaching, so reminiscent of born-again religion, especially with no evidence to support any of Braddock's snap judgement and condemnation of Wisdom.
"You just resent the fact Pete can enjoy himself drinking while you can't, that he can drink and not turn into a monster like you used to." Kitty was in no mood to give Brian any credit for good intentions. She was furious, mostly at Colossus, but Braddock was handy at the moment as someone whom she could fight, and she glared up at him combatively.
"No, I don't resent his drinking, I worry about it, because I worry about you, you stubborn little chit..." Brian couldn't understand why Kitty wasn't listening to him when he was baring his soul, his own past mistakes, in his desire to save her heartache. Meggan was frowning at him in unvoiced disapproval and tugging on his arm in her attempt to make him stop his lecture at this worst possible time, as he continued, warning Kitty, "You'll have to deal with his problems, his filthy habits someday, sooner or later, you must know that, Kitty. Wisdom may hurt you as badly as I hurt Meggan, when you do try to help him. I was horrible to Meggan, I blamed her for my own problems, and made her feel ugly and worthless and unloved, and I can never make up for that."
Meggan herself winced as she remembered that time. Brian had never actually hit her when he was drunk, but he'd hit and break things while arguing viciously with her, and she'd often been terrified of him and what he might do. Kitty and the others had seen some incidents, but only Meggan knew how bad Brian had been, Braddock himself having only partial memories of many of those incidents. But she wasn't worried about any similar situation ever arising between Wisdom and Kitty, the personalities involved, their strengths and weaknesses, were too different.
Attempting once again to stop Brian and Kitty arguing, Meggan said, "Do you mean I should have listened to everybody, Brian love, and left you when you were drinking?"
That question did stun Brian into stopping his tirade. Sputtering in indignation, he exclaimed, "No, of course not!" But, as he thought about her question and remembered his typical behavior back then, Braddock went on more hesitantly, "I still loved you then, even if it didn't always seem like it, and I never really meant to hurt you or drive you away..." Brian reached out a hand to stroke Meggan's hair as he continued slowly, "Maybe you should have. Maybe you would have suffered less without me... Hell, I don't know. Can't you see that's what I'm trying to tell Kitty?"
"Well, it'll be much better for Pete to have Kitty caring for him and helping him than to be on his own." Meggan was ever optimistic.
Meggan's simple statement finally got through to Brian, who looked abashed as he admitted "I do rely on you to help me not drink, love. And I know it would be much harder, maybe even impossible, without your help, and I don't tell you that enough. But I still think this is a bad idea for Kitty, that between his drinking and his smoking, his mindgames and his enemies, and God knows what else she'll just end up getting hurt..."
The declared object of Brian's sudden concern had stopped paying attention to the other two's conversation, as she stared wide-eyed at the medical monitors, where the signals appeared to be becoming more erratic. Kitty jumped up, to run out and call Moira, but Meggan saw her panic and patted her reassuringly. "It's all right, Kitty. Pete's just reacting to the tension, the bad atmosphere, in this room. He'll be fine as soon as Brian stops arguing about imaginary problems, and you calm down too..."
Part 3 Kurt and Amanda
The door opened, and Kurt came into the room, followed by Amanda. "Braddock, what in the world do you think you're doing in here? We could hear you arguing out in the hallway. Moira said a few visitors, and I would assume she meant a few quiet visitors... I cannot believe this is helping Kitty, or Herr Wisdom, either." Ignoring Brian's muttered excuses and explanations, Nightcrawler firmly ushered the much larger Englishman to the door and virtually shoved him out into the hallway.
Meggan stayed behind. She went around the other side of the bed, and sat down to hold Pete's other hand while she reached across, above his body, to take Kitty's free hand. Wisdom's erratic vital signs rapidly stabilized at Meggan's touch, as she carefully and consciously projected all the loving concern Kitty was feeling for him, and her own also.
Amanda hovered nearby as Kurt came back to stand near the bed. "So, Katzchen, what was all that clamor about? We thought the shouting meant something had happened to Herr Wisdom, although I would have expected you to page Moira, if there were any problem with her patient."
"I was just going to, but Meggan said it wasn't serious..." Kitty looked on in amazement as Wisdom's breathing slowed and his entire body seemed to relax at Meggan's efforts. "Brian was just being so horrid... He was ranting and raving about Pete being a drunken bum, and seducing me, and mistreating me in the future..."
Meggan looked over at Nightcrawler as she said defensively, "Brian's just worried about you, Kitty. He just doesn't want you to get hurt, like he hurt me. He'll be sorry in the morning for what he said, he didn't mean any of it, not really." She frowned up at Amanda, who was chuckling quietly to herself at Kitty's condensed version of Brian's concerns.
"Well, Brian might possibly have raised some valid concerns, although I certainly do not see any signs that Herr Wisdom's drinking is that bad." Kurt dismissed the suggestion with only a small twinge of doubt. He still winced at the memory of having to throw the drunken Captain Britain into the ocean from the lighthouse to sober him up for a mission. "But I worry myself, Katzchen, about how the two of you came to this.. understanding.. you seem to have reached so quickly, and whether you have truly considered all the longterm implications..."
"Kurt, what is there for you to worry about?" Amanda interjected, laying her hand on his arm. "They like each other, and they want to be together... Sounds perfectly natural and reasonable to me."
Wagner looked over at his ladylove, where she stood close by his side. "You came after they had left for London, liebling, so you didn't see them quarreling and sniping at each other almost every moment since Black Air assigned Herr Wisdom to us as their official observer. And none of us have seen much of either of them, since they returned here a few days ago. I had thought nothing of it, that they were tired, and perhaps even trying to avoid each other after that excursion. But their announcement tonight was a great surprise to us all, and I cannot help wondering now how their relationship did begin, what did happen, that Kitty has not yet told us."
"Oh, I don't know... a girl and guy alone together, dislike masking strong attraction, a romantic spy mission on a dark and moonlit night... now, exactly which part of that perfectly cliched situation are you having trouble understanding, Kurt?" Amanda teased him, gently. "James Bond obviously has nothing on Peter Wisdom when it comes to getting the girl." She laughed suddenly. "Heck, just getting away from this madhouse might have been enough, we need to try that more often ourselves..."
Kurt wrapped his arm around Amanda and hugged her close in a silent promise. "Your jests are more accurate than you think, liebchen, about my concerns. I wonder if, perhaps, Kitty might have gotten carried away by the 'perfectly cliched situation', as you so aptly put it." He glanced down at Kitty, still sitting by the bed, leaning toward Wisdom as she held his hand tightly, her head twisted to the side slightly to look up at her oldest friend. "Just how serious are you about this new relationship, Katzchen, truly?"
"I'm not sure what you mean, Kurt... of course, I'm serious about Pete..." Kitty was looking puzzled, wondering what Nightcrawler was driving at with his question.
Amanda snorted at Kurt's delicacy. "He wants to know if you and Pete are sleeping together, Kitty, he's just too embarrassed to ask..."
The blunt question made Kitty flush crimson but, looking at Amanda, she didn't see any criticism or censure, just sympathy and understanding. Turning to where Meggan still sat on the other side of Wisdom's bed, she got a smile and a nod of encouragement and support. Kitty took a deep breath and looked back at Kurt. "Yes, we are. Is that what you wanted to know, Kurt?" With his midnight blue skin, Kitty couldn't tell if Wagner had blushed in turn or not, but she felt a twinge of satisfaction as she thought she could detect a bit of an embarrassed squirm.
"Well then, while I certainly do not believe for a moment that Herr Wisdom forcibly seduced you, or intoxicated you or drugged you or any other such truly ludicrous idea, given the situation I do have to wonder what kind of subtle pressure a man of his obvious experience might have applied while you were alone with him in London, on his home ground..." Kurt's voice trailed away at Amanda's withering look at his implication.
"But I keep trying to tell you, nothing happened in London." After that frustrated cry, Kitty calmed down again as she suddenly remembered she'd told that to Brian and Meggan, before Kurt or Amanda had come in. She didn't want to get into the details, they were too personal, but she did want to convince the other members of Excalibur that Wisdom hadn't taken any unfair advantage of her, or they'd just continue to doubt him. "Well, it almost did, on the plane coming back, but Pete said we'd better wait... and he didn't come after me, I went to him when we got back, not that he objected, I don't mean..." Now it was her voice that trailed away in embarrassment, even as her eyes shone and her lips curled upward in a private smile at the memory of their first encounter.
Kurt sputtered and looked a bit shocked, but Amanda just laughed as she exclaimed, "Way to go, Kitty," just as Meggan said "Good for you," in an equally pleased voice, smiling widely.
Nightcrawler was feeling definitely outnumbered by the women in the room, and suddenly wished Wisdom weren't still unconscious, whatever his opinion of the man. Clearing his throat a few times, Kurt eventually said, "In actual fact, Amanda was wrong earlier... I was not enquiring into your private arrangements, Katzchen, although I am pleased that you feel able to confide in me, and hope that you continue to do so. I was intending to ask, if you are indeed so truly certain that you no longer harbor any lingering feelings for Peter, whether in fact you would still have come to whatever accommodation you appear to have reached with Herr Wisdom, if you had known Peter was coming here, to see you?"
Kitty hadn't really had any time to think since Colossus' arrival, and his fight with Wisdom. She took a moment now, trying to sort out her feelings, apart from her predictable anger and fury at the unprovoked attack, and marshall the words to try to explain. "Of course I still have feelings for Peter, Kurt. He's an old friend, I've known him as long as I've known you, even if we have spent less time together. And I did love him, I really and truly did, and I still do, too, just not the same way as before, just as an old friend." A fleeting shadow of regret passed across her expressive face, as she thought about their past years ago, as Amanda and Kurt and Meggan watched sympathetically.
After pausing for another few moments of thought, Kitty continued, her voice strengthening as she articulated her feelings, and liked the feeling her words gave her. "But it's been four long years since Peter told me there could never be anything serious and permanent between us, and a lot of water under the bridge since then. Yes, I used to daydream that we'd get back together someday, often, especially when Illyana died. I thought he'd finally admit he needed me then, but he didn't..."
Another long pause ensued. Kitty clutched Pete's hand as if she could force him to recover, as she hadn't been able to do with that sick little girl. Her big brown eyes filled with unshed tears, as they always did whenever she thought of Peter's young sister and her tragic life and senseless death, while Kurt reached over to stroke Kitty's hair gently at the mention of Illyana. Then Kitty resumed, "But those dreams weren't real. And any feelings I might have for Peter as a friend, if there are any left after tonight, have nothing to do with my feelings for Pete." Her voice was hard and harsh at the end, as she forgot the past in her fury at the present situation.
"And that's perfectly normal, Kitty," Amanda said soothingly, trying to distract her from more wrathful, painful thoughts of tonight's debacle. "You never really forget your first love, but it's very rare to actually stay with them forever, usually you end up growing apart as you grow up." She slipped her arm around Nightcrawler's waist, snuggling against him as he automatically put his arm around her shoulders. "Kurt and I were very lucky that way, to be together now as we were when we were little. But that's no reason to expect you and Peter to do the same. Moving on with your life is good, and if you feel Pete is right for you now, then I wish you both well..."
"Yes, of course I agree, Amanda, but I still don't understand what on earth she can possibly see in the man," Kurt said plaintively. "I have trouble finding any redeeming features in him. I know he's not a bad man, Kitty, but he's rude, and unpleasant, and he's filthy, and..."
"That's because you're a man, Kurt." Amanda interrupted, laughing, before Kitty could jump to Pete's defense. "Meggan and I can easily see his appeal, can't we, Meggan?" Meggan nodded enthusiastically as Amanda continued merrily, "And it really doesn't matter if you're attracted to him, Kurt, it only matters that Kitty is." That made Kitty and Meggan dissolve in giggles, as Kurt scowled around at them in mock outrage.
"He's a good man, Kurt. He cares about people, even if he tries to hide it. He stole a Black Air helicopter once, to rush his friend Doyle to the hospital when his appendix ruptured, and he took three bullets once saving a total stranger's life, and he would have done anything to help his Black Air friend Culley if we'd just gotten to him in time..."
Kitty's flood of words slowed as she saw Kurt and Amanda and Meggan all looking at her incredulously. She remembered Braddock's insulting comment about Wisdom lying to her, and rushed on, "And I know it's true. Pete didn't tell me, he never said a word. But Mr. Jardine told me, when I asked him why he was helping Pete, he said it was his daughter Pete had saved, when he didn't even know her, just because the job needed doing..."
As she quieted down, Kurt sighed, "Well, I admit Amanda was correct, again. It doesn't matter what I may think, Kitty, what you think is all that matters." That reluctant concession earned him another hug from his appreciative lover. Kurt returned her embrace enthusiastically, then he straightened up and pushed Amanda away from him gently. "Now I need to go call the X-men, and tell them that Peter is here, although I will not tell them any of the details, at least not quite yet. And I think you should go see Peter, Katzchen, and talk to him, and soon..."
"Oh, I'll go see him, all right, don't you worry about that, Kurt. And I'll tell him exactly what I think of him trying to murder Pete, right before I kick his brains out so he knows just how it feels." All the laughter was gone from Kitty's voice, the tension was back in her body, and the hardness had returned to her slitted eyes.
"Try to think about Peter's side, too, Kitty, at least a little," Kurt said soothingly. He wondered for a moment if he should withdraw his suggestion, then decided that particular confrontation would have to come sooner or later, and he would just have to trust Kitty's common sense and her deep feelings for Peter would outweigh her anger at this attack.
"Don't worry, I'll stay with Pete until you get back, Kitty," Meggan offered. "And I'll stay and keep her company," Amanda promptly added. Kitty smiled back at both of them gratefully.
Part 4 Intermission, with Storm
Kurt and Kitty left the room together, leaving Meggan and Amanda sitting with Wisdom. Nightcrawler held the door open for Kitty, motioning her gallantly to precede him, then let it shut gently behind them. Once outside the door, in the silent darkened hallway, Kitty turned away to go see Peter in his holding cell.
Wagner reached out an arm to detain her for a moment. "I should tell you now, Katzchen, I suggested to Peter that he remain here, with us, and I told him we would try to put the best appearance possible on things, although I do not think we can keep everything that happened tonight from the others for long." He could feel her tense under his hand. "I hope you will agree with that decision."
He couldn't make out her expression in the gloom as she replied in a level voice, "You're the leader, Kurt. You have to do what you think best, of course. And it sounds like you think that's best for Peter."
The implication was clear, that he wasn't considering Wisdom at all. Nightcrawler sighed in exhaustion, deciding not to try to explain the reasoning behind his decision now, and simply repeated his earlier plea, "Please, Katzchen, put aside your anger, and try to think about all that Peter has gone through, to come to this sorry state..."
Glancing back over her shoulder at Nightcrawler with an enigmatic look on her face, Kitty replied quietly, "I'll try, Kurt, for your sake if not for Peter's, but I can't promise anything..." as she shrugged off his hand, and moved away down the deserted corridor on quiet feet, fading into the shadows.
Wagner stood there indecisively for several moments, looking after her, trying to decide if he needed to follow, to observe and perhaps even mediate their encounter. But Kurt told himself once more that he should not interfere, that he should rely on Kitty's common sense and her deep feelings for Peter to mitigate her anger and dismay at the night's events.
Turning to walk down the dimly lit hallway in the opposite direction, Wagner debated how much of this evening's happenings he would relay to the X-men. He had told Peter he would attempt to present the best possible interpretation on his arrival and actions, but in truth Kurt found it very difficult to think of words and phrases to mask the ugly reality.
As he decided to say as little as possible at the moment, while he was exhausted himself, before he had a chance to consult Moira, and the others, and especially Kitty, Kurt reached the communications suite. It was very late at night at Muir, which made it evening in Westchester, an unusual time to call, but he would not be unduly disturbing anyone at the mansion.
The call was answered by Cyclops, in casual clothes with a beer in his hand and a sports magazine in his hand. Despite the ruby quartz visor perpetually hiding his eyes, he was visibly surprised to see Nightcrawler appear on his screen. "Kurt! It's good to see you, always, but at this hour? Why aren't you all in bed? Is something wrong?"
It was the first awkward question. "I was still up and awake, Scott, although, yes, I am on my way to retiring after a very long evening, but I wished to let you all know as soon as possible that Peter is here, that he showed up at Muir Island unexpectedly earlier tonight..."
Wagner could hear the other man's audible sign of relief. "That's wonderful news, Kurt. We were all worried about him, when he left here after that confrontation with Gene Nation, with absolutely no indication of where he was going, or what he intended to do..." A look of deep concentration indicated he was in mental communication with his wife. "Wait a minute, Jean is going to fetch Storm, to hear your news firsthand. And we'll be sure to tell all the others. The Professor is out for the evening, but we'll let him know as soon as he returns..."
They spent the brief delay in desultory chatter, until Storm appeared suddenly next to Scott, with his wife Jean right behind the tall, regal, dark-skinned and white-haired woman. "Kurt! Jean tells me Peter is well, he is with you and Kitty. What wonderful news to hear! I'm so glad you called so quickly with the news. May I speak with him, please?"
Kurt hid his grimace, as he wondered to himself just how many more awkward questions there would be. "I'm sorry, Ororo, he's resting now." Wagner yawned ostentatiously. "As will I be, hopefully, in another few moments. But Peter will be staying here, with us, for the foreseeable future, so you will have your chance to speak with him soon."
"I am very relieved to hear that, Kurt. I was, we all were, worried about him, about what he would do when he left us again after coming here with Callisto, when she was seeking help against Gene Nation. I was so afraid he'd turned his back on us again, walked away from us once again." Storm smiled at Nightcrawler, her face radiant. "I am so happy he has finally chosen to go back to Kitty, she will be able to help him cope with his family losses, as he adjusts to being one of us again. And she must be so relieved herself that Peter is no longer holding that deception when the Professor had her lure him down from Avalon against her..."
Grateful that Jean couldn't read his thoughts as easily as she could see and hear him over the vast intervening distance, Kurt was beginning to think this call had been a bad idea, before he'd had a chance to rest and agree with the others on a coordinated cover story, what to reveal and what to leave unsaid. "We will take good care of him, Ororo, you may be sure of that. You have all kept us quite well informed of his more recent problems, beginning with the destruction of Avalon, and we are, of course, quite aware of all the earlier incidents."
Wagner paused to pick his next words carefully. "But I do not think you should assume he will be now back with Kitty, although I am sure she will try her best to help him and welcome him, as will we all. In fact, I believe she is with him right now..." Kurt prayed silently and devoutly that that would indeed prove the case, that she would be able to forgive Peter, as he wondered how Kitty's conversation with Peter was going.
Scott and Jean both had apparently heard something strained in Kurt's voice, because they were each looking at him with puzzled expressions. But, before either of them could say anything, Storm frowned at his last comments. "But why would you say they will not be back together? Why else would he have gone to Muir Island from here? Of course it was to see Kitty, and now they can be together, there or here does not matter..." She smiled again, suddenly, eyes glowing warmly. "And if he has gone to rest, and she's with him..."
Wincing at the erroneous conclusion Ororo had drawn from combining his disconnected statements, Kurt cleared his throat nervously. "We have not had a chance yet to discuss with Peter why he came here. Things were somewhat.. hectic.. on his arrival, although you are most likely correct. But Kitty is involved... elsewhere, which you must understand makes her reuniting with Peter quite unlikely..."
He heard muted exclamations of surprise from Cyclops and Jean both, the pleased and curious look on Jean's face an entertaining contrast with Scott's slightly stunned expression. Ororo stared at Kurt, shaking her head slowly in denial and disbelief. That gave Jean an opening to ask, "We haven't heard a thing about this, Kurt. So you've all been keeping secrets from us, when you know how much we all love gossip?" She smiled, continuing her teasing tone. "Who is it? Someone she met recently? Come on, give with the details."
Before Nightcrawler could answer, Storm interrupted, "But that's impossible. Kitty would have told me, or you would have, Kurt... And there isn't anyone it could be..."
Wagner was very definitely sorry he'd ever started this conversation. His normally quick wits were too sluggish after all the evening's events to cope with the questions he was getting, when all he'd intended to do was just to reassure the X-men of Peter's safe arrival. "We didn't tell you, Ororo, because Kitty just told all of us, earlier tonight. So, as you can see, it is a rather recent development."
"Well, that is no problem, then, if this is something that Kitty stumbled into before she knew Peter was coming back to her. She will be able to simply bow out gracefully, without too much trouble, if this reputed relationship is that new." Kurt sighed inwardly. Ororo would persist in seeing only what she wanted to see, determined to make the world follow her wishes.
"But who is it, Kurt?" Jean asked insistently, more interested in Kurt's tantalizing news than in Storm's reaction, gloating over all the fascinating material she'd have to pass on to the others.
Wagner took a deep breath. "It's Peter Wisdom, Jean. Scott, Ororo, you must remember Moira mentioning him to the Professor, the official observer that Black Air sent us, the agency that replaced WHO, they are. He's left Black Air, apparently due to various suspicious anti-mutant activities he learned about, and we agreed tonight to allow him to join Excalibur, so that he and Kitty could stay together, at her request. And I do not believe Kitty has any intention of terminating that relationship, Ororo, regardless of Peter's presence here."
Jean and Scott looked at each other in amazement. They certainly did remember Moira MacTaggart telling Professor Xavier about the newcomer to Muir. Moira's choleric descriptions and pungent opinions had circulated around the mansion rapidly, to everyone's vast entertainment. But they found it difficult to imagine the man Moira had reviled so thoroughly as someone with whom Kitty would be involved.
Ororo found it quite impossible to accept. "I cannot believe that, there must be some kind of mistake. From Moira's remarks, he is quite a horrible person. And I do not know how old he is, but he's much too old for Kitty. He must have turned her head somehow. Kurt, you should have been watching out for her more carefully. But she's far too smart to be gulled for long, she'll go back to Peter. Kurt, you need to talk to her, or perhaps I should come out there and talk to her myself..."
As Storm kept talking, the Summers couldn't decide if they were more titillated by Kurt's news or Ororo's reaction. Jean had met Kitty a few times, but they'd never overlapped as X-men. Scott remembered Kitty as the enthusiastic young teenager who'd joined the X-men the day they had buried Jean Grey, as they'd all thought at the time, after her apparent self-sacrifice on the moon to stop Dark Phoenix. He was a bit surprised she'd grown up that much since then, for them to be discussing which man she should be with, but neither of them had no difficulty accepting the idea, just one more private soap opera situation for their amusement.
Nightcrawler couldn't share their light-hearted interest, but he couldn't fault their good-natured prying for insensitivity. After all, he knew of Colossus' attack on Wisdom, while the others didn't. But Kurt was concerned about Storm's reaction. They'd all been together in the X-men, he and Ororo and Peter Rasputin and Logan, when they'd been joined by the young Kitty Pryde, in the early days when everything seemed simpler and more clear-cut, and they'd been as tight-knit a group in their own way as the original X-men still were. Kitty's relation with Peter had marked their own group almost as strongly as Scott's relation with Jean was the hallmark of the original X-men. And Ororo seemed determined to recreate their original close group, and perhaps even the clarity of those simpler days, by recreating that early relationship, expecting Kitty and Peter to come back together eventually as inevitably as Scott and Jean had.
As he gave in to another enormous yawn, Kurt wished he could simply tell Storm that, if Peter did come to try to win Kitty back, beginning by attacking her current flame was certainly not a very auspicious approach. But he'd said he'd keep the incident confidential, as much and as long as possible. Wagner shuddered at the idea of Storm arriving in the midst of the current situation, and set himself to talk her out of that idea.
"It is much too soon to plan any such visits, Ororo." He had an inspiration. "And we do not know how Peter would react to your presence. He did refuse to stay with you, after all, and you would not wish him to think you are pressuring him or pursuing him. He came to us, voluntarily, for help, and we would not wish to drive him away. We will talk to Peter again tomorrow, and hopefully find out more in the morning about his thoughts and feelings, when everybody is rested and recovering, and we will be sure to keep you informed..."
That caution brought Storm to an abrupt halt. She'd worried about Peter frequently, since he'd left the X-men during Illyana's funeral to follow Magneto and join his Acolytes on Avalon, and again since he'd left the X-men recently after helping with Gene Nation. She wasn't sure what Peter's attitude to her, to them, would be now, although he hadn't seemed too hostile during his brief stopover with Callisto. "Very well, Kurt. I will trust you, since I must, but I rely upon you, to see Peter is well and happy..."
Part 5 Lockheed and Colossus
Kitty opened the door quietly, and came back to Wisdom's room to see Meggan still sitting faithfully by his bedside, as she'd promised. Amanda stood nearby, propping an arm on the headboard, carefully avoiding all the tubes and wires running around the bed as she chatted quietly with Meggan. Seeing the motion out of the corner of their eyes, they glanced over to the door to see Kitty, and came over to join her there.
"Pete's fine, Kitty, there's been no change at all." Meggan quickly reassured the younger girl, then went on to ask hesitantly, "Are you all right, Kitty? Did you go see Colossus, talk to him?" at the same time Amanda asked quietly, "Did Kurt go with you? How did it go? Was it... pretty bad?"
Looking at her two friends gratefully, Kitty replied slowly, "Yes, I saw him. and, no, Kurt didn't go with me..."
Hearing an odd note in her voice, Meggan came closer to hug Kitty in silent sympathy, as Amanda enquired gently, "Would you like us to stay, Meggan or me, or both of us? Want to talk about it?"
After thinking about that kind offer for a moment, Kitty shook her head. "No, thank you... thank you both, but I think I just want to sit here alone, with Pete, and think about it myself first... maybe later?" She felt like she didn't want to talk about it at all, now or later, but she didn't want to be rude about rejecting their solicitude, treasuring the warm comfort their care and concern provided.
Amanda glanced over at Meggan, deferring to her reading of Kitty's feelings. Meggan simply nodded, saying, "We'll look in again later. Please, try to relax, get a little rest now." She smiled at Kitty. "But you won't be alone, unless you chase him out, too..." As Kitty gave her a puzzled look, Meggan waved her arm. Looking where Meggan was pointing, Kitty saw Lockheed perched at the foot of Pete's bed, watching them all.
As Meggan and Amanda left, Kitty held out her arms and Lockheed launched himself into the air to fly the short distance over to her with a brief strong flaps of his wings. She supported Lockheed's weight with one practiced arm, as she walked over to the bed to settle back in the chair that let her reach out and keep hold Wisdom's of limp hand easily, as she held Lockheed on her lap.
Staring down at the unconscious man, the innocent victim of an unprovoked attack by her old teammate earlier, Kitty felt the tears rise in her eyes and spill down her cheeks, as she confessed in a choked voice, "I'm so sorry, Pete... I said I was going to go tell Peter exactly what I thought of him trying to kill you tonight... I was so mad, I wanted to kick his brains out, I really did, so he'd feel just a little bit of what he put you through... But I got down there, and I saw him sitting in that tiny little holding cell with that horrible inhibitor collar on, just like Spoor or some other evil mutant... And I couldn't, I just couldn't, it would've felt just like kicking a lost puppy dog... He's so totally out of it, he doesn't have any real idea what he did, how dangerous he is..."
She clutched Wisdom's hand tightly, as though the strength of her grip could convince him of her sincerity. "I'm still mad, I hate what he did to you, he had no right to do something like that, to you, to anyone. But I can't hate him, not even for you, and I'm so sorry, Pete..." Kitty couldn't go on for a few moments. Then she took a deep breath, and let go of Lockheed just long enough to dash away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand, Lockheed's long tongue licking away the few she missed.
She looked down at Lockheed, cradled in her lap. "Do you think he'll understand, dragon? Think he'll be able to forgive me, for wimping out, and forgiving Peter? Or will he hate me for that, for not standing up for him?" Lockheed gave a most inelegant snort, "Pfaugh!", which made Kitty laugh weakly. "I know you haven't been too thrilled about this, Lockheed. I don't know why, is it Pete, or would it be anyone I was with? Don't you want me to be happy, dragon? And I was happy..."
Hugging Lockheed, Kitty thought bemusedly about what a wild night it had turned out to be. Earlier, she had thought that the hardest part would be telling the others about her and Pete, and that she wanted Pete to stay. It had taken her a while to get up the courage for that, but she'd decided, while inviting Kurt and Amanda, that the time had come. And that had gone well, better than Kitty had dared hope, with Moira unexpectedly providing the perfect opening. Once that hurdle had been passed, she had relaxed, and enjoyed their evening out as she couldn't remember doing in a long time. Kitty had been looking forward eagerly to the day's perfect ending, to Wisdom joining her after his obligatory last cigarette, when Colossus' attack had suddenly disrupted everything..
Then, first, she'd had to wait in agonizing suspense to see if Moira could save Pete. Before she'd had a chance to absorb Moira's prognosis, much less the attack itself, Brian had come by and challenged her feelings for Pete, her future with him, as had Kurt a bit later, although much more delicately. And Kurt had raised the inevitable question, would it be Pete or Peter, if she had the choice?
She knew this relationship seemed sudden to the others, it felt just as sudden to herself. Now, in the soothing quiet of the recovery room, still holding Wisdom's hand as a lifeline she couldn't let go, Kitty wondered herself exactly what had happened between them, when things had changed between them.
They'd been unusually polite to each other going down to London, Wisdom appreciating the favor she was doing him and not deliberately goading her by smoking or misbehaving. And they'd been unexpectedly comfortable together in the pub, where she'd been surprised how warmly his mates had welcomed him.
But it wasn't until his friend Jardine had talked to her about Pete, telling her about a number of incidents in response to her idle question, that she suddenly saw him differently, saw below the surface for the first time, to the caring heart he hid so determinedly. She'd insisted on going with him, almost blurting out her changed opinion of him on the plane later, stopping herself just in time.
But it wasn't until they were actually breaking into the Dream Nails base that she'd abruptly become aware of Pete as a man, not just a person.
Standing close to him to phase them down, she'd gone weak-kneed at his habitual smell of aftershave, tobacco and booze, arousing her now instead of irritating her as before, as she made a lame joke to cover her reaction. Working their way inside, all she could think about was the warmth of his hard wiry body so near hers, the feel of his fingers clasping her gloved hand.
And, in the intelligence office when he'd leaned over her at the computer terminal, she felt once again like she'd never seen him before. But rather than his soul as in Jardine's office, it was his body she was suddenly incredibly conscious of. She'd wanted to nuzzle up to that perpetual five o'clock shadow, run her hands into his unruly black hair, drown in his deep blue eyes staring so intently into her questioning ones, lean over to touch that mocking mouth just inches from her own, silent now and open slightly in unconscious invitation, so close his breath caressed her cheek lightly. She'd licked nervously at her suddenly dry lips, and heard his breath catch at that unconsciously sensuous gesture, just when they were interrupted so dramatically.
Reliving those feelings from just a few nights ago, Kitty reached up now to stroke his still, white face gently, the stubble rasping against her fingertips. She wondered at how Pete often looked so much older than his years while the X-men always seemed so much younger than their actual ages, dimly realizing that the difference was Pete's disguised but deep involvement with the world and the consequences of his actions, so very different from the X-men's usual aloofness and isolation.
As Kitty contrasted Pete's lined, craggy face with Peter's smooth, boyish visage, she recalled her recent visit to Rasputin's holding cell. "Please, Lockheed, please be happy for me. Pete's good to me, dragon. Peter asked me that, and I didn't even have to think about the answer. Pete's good to me, he makes me happy, just like Peter used to, once upon a time, a very very long time ago..."
Lockheed just snorted again, but Kitty wasn't paying attention to him anymore. She was thinking more about what Peter had asked, how she had assured him so readily that Pete was good to her, and wondered how she could be so sure after just a few days of being together. She had to ask herself whether she wasn't fantasizing something that wasn't really there.
But, looking at Pete's bruised and battered body swathed in bandages, aching herself in sympathy as she ran her hand gently down the skin of his neck and shoulder and chest where the bandages didn't cover him, Kitty decided that her immediate reaction had been right, that he was good to her, and good for her. Even when he'd fought with her in the past, before their adventure in the Dream Nails base, he'd treated her like an adult, an equal. And during their time in Dream Nails, when he'd looked at her as a woman for the first time, when she'd seen him as a man for the first time, he'd made her see herself differently also, made her feel she was indeed a beautiful, attractive woman. However, Pete also obviously valued her fighting skills and her brain, as much or more than her appearance. Kitty reassured herself she couldn't be misreading all of that.
Colossus was so big and strong, he'd always made her feel tiny and fragile, almost trivial, whenever she was around him. She'd never felt she had affected Peter in any significant way, she'd buzzed around him like Tinkerbell around Peter Pan, with as little impact. With Pete, in contrast, she was made to feel precious and protected, but not small or inconsequential. Wisdom treated her like a full equal, but an equal he treasured beyond anything. He could be incredibly rude and obnoxious, she'd seen his performance many times, and been on the receiving end in the past, but he'd been only tender and caring with her since they'd come together.
And their times together were incredible, the response Pete awoke in her wild beyond any of Kitty's imagining. She didn't know if that was typical or not, she had nothing for comparison, but she couldn't believe their encounters were just routine or average.
She glanced down at Lockheed, still curled comfortably in her lap. "Peter had no right to come back four years after he told me he loved Zsaji, after he said there was no chance for a future for us together, after he pushed me away without a word when Illyana died, and expect me to be waiting for him with open arms. I found something better, something wonderful, and he'll just have to accept that... they'll all just have to accept it... Pete, and me and Pete being together."
Part 6 Rahne and Douglock
As Kitty sat quietly stroking Lockheed with one hand while holding Pete's limp hand in her other, she heard a soft knock at the door and Rahne stuck her head into the room. "D'ye want some company, Kitty, or would ye prefer to be alone?" Douglock was barely visible standing behind her, a glittering golden statue in the dim light of the hallway.
Right now, Kitty would have welcomed anything to distract her from her thoughts of having to deal with Peter and his problems, although she winced internally at the idea that her other option seemed to be listening to Rahne regurgitating one of her pastor's sermons on the many evils of fornication. "Come in, of course, you two. What are you doing still up?"
"A just chased Lady Moira into bed, finally, she was still up working on her medical records, wi' Dougie's help..." Rahne sounded justifiably proud of keeping an eye on her foster mother's welfare, even as she scowled at Douglock for encouraging Moira's labors.
"But Dr. MacTaggart specifically requested my assistance with the database, since friend Shadowcat was otherwise occupied." Douglock was obviously continuing their earlier argument, until Rahne hushed him.
"Come in and sit down, then, if you're not too tired. I'd like some company right now, really, I would." Rahne had stopped hesitantly halfway between the door and Pete's bed, perhaps hearing a bit of doubt beneath Kitty's deliberately cheerful voice, but Kitty waved her over to the chair that Meggan had used earlier. "It's nice to see you again, Rahne. You know, we haven't really had a chance to talk since you came to Muir."
Rahne came around the bed and sat down, Douglock taking up a stand leaning against the wall near her. "Aye, ye'd already left wi' Mr. Wisdom when A came, an' A dinna see ye around much after ye got back..."
Kitty blushed at that innocent remark, automatically rubbing her fingers against the roughened skin of Wisdom's hand as she remembered how the two of them had spent most of their time since getting back to Muir. Rahne and Douglock couldn't see the light that had appeared in her eyes at the recollection, as Kitty turned to stare down at Pete's white face. "But we all got to go out to the pub together tonight, and we'll have a lot more chances to get together now." Even as she spoke, Kitty wondered silently how she'd ever tear herself away from Pete's side again, after this.
"I recall when you wished me to proposition you during our previous expedition to that drinking establishment, but you did not accept my offer to simulate human male response, from a list of available safe practices complete with illustrations." Douglock ignored Rahne's shocked "Kitty?!" and went on calmly, "You will explain to me the difference between Mr. Wisdom's approach and my own, that led to evident success in the one case and rejection in the other?"
"I told you, Doug, that wasn't what I meant, you just misunderstood," Kitty sputtered amid startled giggles, both at Douglock's question and at the look on Rahne's face. "And you can ask Pete about his approach when he wakes up if you want, although I doubt he'll tell you anything useful." It cheered her up to look forward to that unlikely conversation, because it reassured her that Pete would recover.
"Is it a requirement of such expeditions to drinking establishments to engage in physical altercations afterwards?" Douglock asked curiously, interrupting Kitty's musings again.
"Hush, Dougie, an' dinna interrupt sae much. O' course 'tisn't a requirement. 'Twas a horrible misunderstanding, is all," Rahne answered him first, while Kitty chuckled quietly and then said, "No, Rahne, he's still remembering that other time I took him to a pub. I was the one got into a fight then, just after we left. And, no, it's not a requirement, Douglock, but I guess it is something that often happens, after drinking. But this was different. Rahne's right, it was just a giant, horrible misunderstanding that could have been a real tragedy." Clutching Pete's limp hand, she stared at the unconscious man's chest move slightly with each breath, reassuring herself yet again he had survived, and was going to be fine, Moira had promised her that.
Kitty looked over at Rahne, where she sat on the other side of the bed, her feet up on the chair seat and her arms wrapped around her legs in a characteristic pose. "I haven't even thanked you yet, Rahne, for helping Moira with Pete earlier, for helping her save him for me..." She reached out to stroke Pete's face with her fingertips yet again, gently, as the Scots girl watched curiously, but with no obvious signs of the rigid disapproval Kitty had half expected.
It wasn't obvious from Rahne's complexion, covered by thin silky fur in her halfling form, but Kitty thought she could see Rahne blush with pleasure at the acknowledgement, and her sudden smile was quite evident. "'Twas nothing really, Kitty, Lady Moira did all the work. But A was more worried aboot Peter a' first, A dinna ken quite how bad yuir Mr. Wisdom was hurt, an' A'm sorry for that."
Kitty was surprised at Rahne's response. "Well, of course you'd be more worried about Peter, Rahne. It's only natural, you've known him for a long time."
Rahne sighed, as she leaned closer and dropped her voice. "Aye, an' 'tis sae sad tae see him locked away like a monster, when he's hurting sae bad an' needs help sae much. A saw him just before Illyana's funeral, an' A hugged him an' told him how sorry A was aboot Illyana, e'en if she an' A hadna been sae close, an' he was cold, Kitty, sae cold an' sae distant... Iceman said he were like tha' wi' everyone, 'twas like he was dead too..."
Kitty let go of Pete for a brief moment, to reach out impulsively to take and squeeze Rahne's hand. "It wasn't anything to do with you, Rahne. He wouldn't accept my comfort then, either. And maybe you weren't always close to Illyana, but it was you who saved her from the demons at the end, who insisted on rescuing the little Illyana from Limbo, and I owe you for that, and so does Peter, he knows that, even if he hasn't told you so."
Lockheed rose from his comfortable curl on Kitty's legs and flew over to perch on Rahne's head, flapping his wings to hold up part of his weight while crooning a questioning note. Kitty laughed at the sight while Rahne smiled, "Aye, A mind the time Illyana wore ye as her hat, Lockheed, an' many a compliment she got fro' them townie girls for her fashion sense too, tha' night..."
As Lockheed returned to the soft haven of Kitty's lap, and Kitty reclaimed Pete's hand, Rahne's smile faded quickly. "She was sae little an' sae innocent, ye ken, the wee Illyana, an' we'd seen S'ym catch and hurt her before, A couldna just leave her in Limbo tae the demonspawn... but 'twas a foolish move, A saved her just sae she could die again later."
Kitty shook her head vehemently at that view. "No. You saved her, and gave her another chance, a chance to not be the DarkChylde, a chance to be Peter's little sister again. The fact that she got sick and died later doesn't change the fact that that was a very brave thing that you did. I know Limbo and its demons must have been hard for you to face, maybe even harder for you than for any of the rest of us." Kitty smiled at Rahne, remembering how Rahne had always needed reassurance when she'd known her years ago. "That's twice Peter owes you, Rahne, for saving little Illyana for him, for all of us, and also for pulling him out of Cloak's darkness long ago."
Douglock had been standing silent near the wall, mindful of the earlier admonition not to interrupt, listening to the conversation and having more and more trouble following it. "Is it permitted at least to request elucidation on this 'darkness'?"
The two girls looked at each other, and tacitly agreed that Douglock had been very good about staying quiet and did deserve an answer, although neither felt up to a long explanation. Kitty let Rahne take the lead while she sat listening, rubbing her fingers on Pete's hand absently. "A'll tell ye more aboot it on the 'morrow, Dougie, 'tis a long story. Roberto, Sunspot, an' A, we got injected with tha' same evil drug what first gave Cloak an' Dagger their powers, an' sae we ended up wi' havin' their powers. 'Twas horrible, Cloak's darkness would eat people, an' it took Peter while he was tryin' tae help Roberto, an' A had tae go inta the dark tae get him oot again, Dagger's light let me do tha', just like she would hae done..." Rahne glanced over at Kitty shyly, hoping her next comment would be accepted as offered. "Ye must know, Kitty, Peter's always loved you. A saw his heart wi'in Cloak's darkness. He was having visions of giving ye up for that alien healer, an' losing both o' ye, an' knowing what a terrible mistake he'd made."
Kitty sighed at that reminder of long ago, feeling that she didn't have enough strength or energy left to pursue the ever-recurring topic of her relationship with Peter now, again, and especially not tonight, after what Peter had done to Pete. She decided to stay on the topic of Rahne's relationship with Peter, instead. "I remember Peter telling me once how beautiful you looked, just like an angel he said, when you pulled him out of that darkness. He wouldn't tell me what happened to him in there, just how brave you were, to come to get him out just when he was finally losing his battle with the darkness. He said he wanted to paint you like you were then, as an angel of light, but he was afraid you'd be offended, that it would go against your faith."
"Aye, mayhap it would hae, back then. Reverend Craig would hae called it a popish heathen image, but now..." Rahne sighed wistfully, remembering seeing herself in a mirror back then, still not really believing that Dagger's light had only revealed her own full potential, "Now, A wish A did hae such a picture, as a 'membrance of the one time A was beautiful..."
Douglock stirred at that. "You appear to fulfill all the objective criteria I have been able to identify for being considered attractive. What deficiencies do you perceive, that I am unaware of and should look for in future observation and evaluation?"
That made both girls smile. "You don't ask a girl about her flaws, Doug, real or imaginary, that's really tacky," Kitty chuckled, then went on more seriously, "But he's right, Rahne, you are beautiful, you know."
Now Kitty was positive Rahne was blushing, whether it showed though the silky thin fur or not. "Nay, A'm not... A always wished A could be, A dreamed A'd turn oot tae be a fairytale princess, but A was always the ugly duckling, compared to Shan an' Dani an' Amara an' Illyana." Rahne smiled in recollection as she continued, "Once, tha' same party Illyana wore Lockheed as a hat, the other girls gussied me all up with makeup an' such, an' Sam came in an' dinna even recognize me..."
"So what happened? What did he say when he realized it was you?" Kitty asked curiously, as Douglock leaned forward to hear the answer.
"A dinna ken what he would hae said," Rahne laughed. "A was sae mad, A punched him in the belly just as hard as A could, an' he couldna say anything, he couldna breathe e'en, an' A slammed the door in his face..."
Kitty was laughing too now, in true enjoyment, as she hadn't laughed since discovering Rasputin standing over Wisdom's broken body earlier that night. Rahne's visit was turning out to be so much more than the simple distraction Kitty had first thought it. She felt better than she had since they'd first returned from the pub, finally realizing how having to defend her new relationship with Wisdom to the others had kept upsetting her, but still surprised that Rahne hadn't yet questioned it, or her.
Quieting down again after a few moments of shared mirth, Kitty said sincerely, "I'm glad you came to be with Moira, Rahne. She really needs her family now, especially with Banshee so busy. I guess he's too tied up with that witch Emma Frost to come here as often as Moira really needs." She couldn't keep her voice from sharpening considerably on her last comment. The White Queen was not one of Kitty's favorite people.
Sobering up immediately at that oblique mention of her guardian's illness, Rahne answered quietly, "Aye, A came as soon as A heard th'news. A couldna believe it, first wee Illyana, then ma puir Jamie, an' now Lady Moira may be next... an' e'en Guido, ma big strong Guido who laughed at everything an' cheered me through all ma woes, an' a heart attack brought him down where no villain could."
A voice came from the side, startling the two girls since Douglock had been so unusually quiet. "You do not miss your friends in X-Factor, or regret leaving them? I note you never call them, or talk about them. I would prefer to learn more about them from you, rather than merely from perusing the formal records."
Rahne turned her head to glance at him, as she replied, "Wi' Jamie an' Guido both gone, there was no reason for me ta stay, an' bein' around Alex, and Lorna, was more awkward wi' the bond gone than when 'twas still there."
Kitty beat Douglock to the question this time. "What bond, Rahne?"
Rahne looked at her in surprise. "Lady Moira dinna tell ye all? Nay, A guess she wouldna hae, she'd be as ma doctor, an' no' ma mother... The Genoshans bonded me tae Havok when they made me a mutate, an' he were a magistrate there. We thought the Genegineer had fixed me sae that the mutate effects only remained in ma human form, but Lady Moira and Dr. Ryan found the bond t' Alex was affecting me in all ma forms." Rahne wanted to tell Kitty more about it, but Douglock's clinically inquisitive air was too much for her.
Kitty saw Rahne's sudden hesitation. Appreciating the other girl's open friendship and nonjudgemental attitude, Kitty wanted to show her own gratitude by doing something in return, and said impulsively, "You know, Douglock, it's been a long time since that cup of tea Meggan brought me. I'd really like another one, but I don't really want to leave Pete, whether he knows I'm here with him or not." She smiled down tenderly at the injured man, knowing it was illogical and impossible but promising herself she wouldn't leave him again, ever, feeling that, if she hadn't left him alone outside earlier, tonight's debacle would not have occurred. "Would you mind doing me a favor, please, and going to the kitchen and making me some more tea?"
Douglock looked at her shrewdly. "And you and friend Wolfsbane wish to talk without my presence, yes? And this is just a polite subterfuge?"
Kitty had to laugh again. "Yes and no, Doug. Yes, Rahne and I want to talk together and it'll be easier without you, but no, it's not just a polite subterfuge, I really would like some tea, and I bet Rahne would too..." As the young Scots girl nodded eagerly, Kitty continued, smiling at him in congratulations, "And I'm impressed with your readings of us, Douglock. You're getting better, that was a very good interpretation."
Douglock didn't respond to the compliment, but he also didn't try arguing further. As he turned to leave the room, neither girl noticed a vanishingly thin golden techno-organic tendril unwinding from his body as he went out, allowing him to monitor the conversation in the room. He'd quickly learned that all of the more interesting conversations tended to occur in his absence, and he had a strong imperative to learn in his main programming, with no corresponding inhibitions against eavesdropping.
After the door had closed behind him and his footsteps had faded down the hall, Rahne asked hesitantly, "D'ye want me tae go, too, Kitty? If ye're tired, or if ye just want tae be alone wi' yuir man?"
Kitty shook her head. This certainly wasn't a conversation she'd ever expected to have with Rahne, and she was surprised at how much she was enjoying talking to the other girl, how it was helping her relax and wind down after the chaotic night just past. She settled herself more comfortably in her chair, pulling Pete's hand over to lie on her leg, ignoring Lockheed's disgusted snort as she rearranged the little dragon slightly in her lap. "No, Rahne, actually, I'd like you to stay. I'd like to talk to you some more. We never really did talk, back when we were both Professor Xavier's students, and that was probably my fault. I was always more comfortable with the X-men, I always felt like, when I'd try talking to someone my own age, something would go wrong."
Rahne smiled back shyly. "Nay, 'twas no' all yuir fault. We dinna like ye 'cause the professor an' Magneto let ye stay wi' the X-men, wi' the grownups, while they treated us like silly wee bairns all the time. An' A'd like tae talk, A canna talk tae Lady Moira, she's sae busy, an' A couldna talk tae Lorna or Valerie, ye ken...
Kitty looked back at Rahne seriously. "Did I guess right, Rahne? There was something else about the bond, wasn't there? You looked really upset. Was it Douglock being here that made you stop talking? Or would you rather not talk about it at all?" The events of the past few hours had shattered a number of comfortable, unconscious barriers and illusions, Kitty realized, and not just for herself. Rahne might be able to say something now which she normally wouldn't have been able to verbalize.
Looking down at the floor, which she scuffed at with a bare, clawed foot, Rahne hesitated for a moment and then took a deep breath before answering, "Ooch, Kitty, 'tis so hard... A canna talk tae Lady Moira wi' ma problems, she has her own burden to bear. But it was sae horrible, the bond made me lust for Alex sae bad. A was shameless, A even went to his bed once..."
As Rahne's voice trailed away, Kitty saw she'd been right, Rahne did have something she wanted to talk about, and it wasn't anything to do with Kitty and Pete being together, it was about herself. Kicking herself mentally for being so self-centered, Kitty tried to help her get started. "I don't know how to ask you this, Rahne. I know you wouldn't, normally, because of your morals and your beliefs, but did the bond make you... umm... do something you regret?"
Rahne must have been blushing again, at the entire subject. "Aye, it made me act like a shameless hussy, but nay, nothing really happened. Alex was wi' Lorna, y' ken, he does love her, an' Lorna was sae nice tae me, she reached out tae me, tae help me... But it made me feel sae dirty, those feelings, Kitty, an' knowing they weren't e'en mine, they were put intae me by them horrible Genoshans. An' e'en worse, it wasn't just Alex. Once, A propositioned Jamie, too, an' the puir lad was sae afeared he just got up an' ran away..."
As Rahne continued looking down at the floor, Kitty went on, gently, "Have you ever cared for someone special, Rahne? You, yourself, I mean, before the Genoshans messed with your mind and your feelings? I remember you and your wolf prince, in Asgard. Were you sorry to leave him?"
Rahne smiled at the reminder of those incredible visits to the Norse gods' realm. "The first time, it hurt sae bad, A felt A was leavin' my heart an' soul behind... But A dinna ken if that were love, see, Kitty, he could only be wolf, or halfling, no' a man, an' wi' him A was only wolf or halfling, no' a girl, and 'twas in Asgard, a heathen place, A felt sae different there, as if different rules applied. But the second time 'twas easier, Ric' was so sweet to me when A had tae leave ma wolf prince that second time, tha' helped a lot..."
Kitty thought she noticed something in Rahne's voice at the end there. "But what about here, on earth, as a girl, not a wolf? Any of the New Mutants..." then, with a mischievous grin, "...or the Hellions?"
That made Rahne laugh again. "A liked Sam, A even prayed once, in a Catholic kirk e'en, mind ye, for forgiveness that A hated Amara because Sam looked at her an' no' at me, 'twas before him an' Lila, ye ken... an' A liked Doug, really, an' he seemed tae like me, a little, an' then he died tryin' to save me..." Rahne noticed Kitty's face blanch suddenly, although she couldn't see her fingers dig into Pete's hand until it would have been painful, if he'd been awake and aware. "Ooch, A'm sorry, Kitty, A forgot you an' he..."
Forcing herself to relax her clenched hand as she glanced at Wisdom to be sure he hadn't felt her sudden deathgrip, Kitty interrupted Rahne's hurried apology in a firm voice, "Doug and I were friends, Rahne, just very good friends, and he was a wonderful person, and I'm happy you two liked each other..." Rahne smiled back in pleased relief. She'd been afraid Kitty would blame her for Doug's death, as she had once before, just like Rahne still blamed herself.
Trying to recover the light mood of a moment ago, Kitty asked with a grin, "What about Bobby? He always acted like he thought he was God's gift to women..."
The young Scots girl grinned back in a shared scorn of daCosta's inflated self-opinion. "Tha' cock o' th' walk! When A first came, A mind he kissed ma hand, an' A felt sae special, A thought he liked me an' A liked him, but he was just fooling, he'd ruffle my hair when A was a girl just like he'd ruffle ma fur while A was wolfen..." Kitty was impressed to see how Rahne could laugh at her younger self now. "But A liked Sam better, an' Amara liked Sam better, an' Lila liked Sam better, an' now Tabitha likes Sam better..."
Kitty joined in her quiet laughter, worried for a brief moment about their mirth disturbing Wisdom, but then remembering what Meggan had said earlier about Pete reacting to bad feelings in the room, and hoping he'd react equally if unconsciously to their positive feelings now. "Oh, poor Bobby... nobody ever did fall for him, did they?"
"Just that Gossamyr hussy, an' they were welcome t'each other, too." Kitty heard something brittle in Rahne's laugh now, and decided not to pursue the topic, leaving it to Rahne to resume the conversation after a moment of silence, changing the subject slightly. "D'ye e'er think o' that poor boy what ye were wi' at that party, Kitty? He seemed tae like ye, and we were sae mean, making fun o' him an' ye, an' then he killed himself tha' night. 'Twas so awful A try to forget, him fallin' into the sin o' despair, but sometimes A canna forget him, like A canna forget Illyana, and Doug, and Warlock..."
Kitty clutched Pete's hand more tightly, suddenly, at that unexpected question, as her breath caught in her throat. "Larry Bodine? I don't try to forget him, Rahne, he deserves better than that from me, from us... I try to remember him, and how sorry I was I didn't help him like he needed, so I don't make the same mistake again." She reached out to stroke Pete's face again, reassuring herself he was still here, and warm, and breathing.
Rahne was tired of talking about herself. "Sae, Kitty, ye liked Peter, an' Doug, an' puir Larry long ago... anyone else, aside fro' yon Sassenach ye've taken up wi'?"
Kitty chuckled at that disingenuous query. "Just Alistaire... You don't know Alistaire Stuart, Rahne, he was with us here in Excalibur a lot in the beginning. I liked him, a whole lot, and he liked Rachel, a whole lot."
"What was he like, Kitty? Like Peter? or Doug? or like Mr. Wisdom?" That touching, wistful note of friendly curiosity was back in Rahne's soft voice.
Kitty had to think about Rahne's question for a minute, surprised at how long it had been since she'd thought of Alistaire, remembering how thoughts of winning him used to fill her every waking moment once. "No, Alistaire was different. He was older, like Pete, he looks a bit like Pete, actually, but smart, smart like Doug, in the lab with electronics." She went on, smiling wryly at her younger self's infatuation, "He only wanted me as a lab assistant, like some robot gofer, while he drooled and panted over Rachel."
Rahne remembered Rachel, but she'd known her as the cold and distant Rachel who first came to the X-men as a time-displayed refugee, not the flamboyant sexy Rachel of Excalibur. "So, wha' happened?"
Kitty shrugged. "Oh, just the usual... Rachel disappeared, and then Brigadier Stuart, Alistaire's sister, was killed, and Rachel came back, and Alistaire left, and Rachel disappeared again..." She smiled suddenly, and her whole face seemed to light up, especially her big expressive eyes. "And then Pete came, and I didn't like him, I really didn't like him, and i didn't trust him either, and then we went away together and I guess I just got to know him." Kitty reached out again to caress Pete's face, lightly, hoping he could feel her touch somewhere deep inside. "You know, he's really not as horrible as he seems, he's quite nice and sweet if you ever get inside his protective shell..."
Rahne smiled back. "A know that, silly... he's just like Ric' was, all dark an' moody an' secretive... Bobby, he could ne'er understand what A saw in Ric', but he had a good heart, he just hid it down sae deep..."
Kitty breathed a sigh of relief, that Rahne seemed to be accepting her with Pete so easily, given Rahne's twisted upbringing by Reverend Craig. "And you liked him? This Rick? That was Rictor, right?"
Rahne didn't notice Kitty's relief, she was too busy remembering the past. "Aye, A liked him... A think A loved him. A loved Doug, but he ne'er made me feel like Ric' did. An' A think he loved me, he even came after me to Genosha, the big silly, tae try tae save me when A dinna need saving, except from the bond where he couldna help me. But A was sae shy, we only kissed the once, right before the Genoshans caught an' changed me. So don't ye wait, Kitty, if ye love yuir Mr. Wisdom, ye grab him with both hands and ne'er let go... By the time Ric' an' A saw each other again, kissed again, the Genoshans had warped me an' all ma feelings for him had been lost."
Her glorious eyes glowing, Kitty said quietly, "Oh, trust me, Rahne, I'm never, ever, going to let him go," bringing Pete's hand up to lay it against her face and pressing a kiss into his palm before looking over at the other girl in surprise and awe at how much she'd changed and grown. "So you don't think my being with Pete is wrong, or evil, or a sin?"
Rahne lost the fire she'd had just a moment ago, and was again the shy uncertain girl Kitty had thought she knew. "A dinna ken anymore... Reverend Craig would say 'twas, but Reverend Craig would say A was wrong, an' evil, an' a sin, too."
"It doesn't matter what he thinks. What do you think?" Kitty was wondering just how far the changes in Rahne went.
Rahne hugged herself tightly, as she answered slowly, "A dinna feel evil, but sometimes, late at night, A wonder deep inside if he's right an' A am... The only time A know for sure A'm not is when A'm in my furform. Reverend Craig told everyone that 'twas the devil's form, God's punishment for ma sins, an' for ma mother's too, but A feel sae right an' natural an' wonderful when A'm a wolf. A'm sae happy then. Everything seems sae simple and crystal-clear, the world is sae beautiful, sae full of lights an' sounds an' colors an' smells hidden from humans. Sometimes A want to stay wolfen fore'er..."
Kitty suddenly wished that she could get her hands, just for a few moments, that's all she'd need, on the intolerant, bigoted, narrow-minded preacher who'd raised Rahne to despise herself before Moira had rescued her. "You know, Rahne, if Reverend Craig lied about you being evil, he probably lied about your mother being evil too."
Rahne was looking angry now, and determined, as Kitty hadn't ever seen her before. "Aye, A hae thought o' tha'. He said she was naught but a dockside whore, but he may have lied, aye, for his own ends, to look down on her. But A'll find the truth. Lady Moira said there must be records, an' people there who still remember her, that the Reverend canna control everyone an' everything. An' will ye help me, Kitty, if A need?"
Just as Kitty was promising her aid, the door opened and Douglock came back in with two mugs of tea on a tray, and the conversation quickly shifted to general topics, gradually dying away as Rahne began yawning more and more, until Kitty chased her off, ordering Douglock to make sure she went straight to her own room to her own well-deserved rest.
Epilogue
After Rahne and Douglock had left, Kitty carefully got into the bed to curl up next to Pete and, embracing him gingerly, quietly cried herself to sleep. Moira came in much later to check on his status, and found her there. She didn't try to wake Kitty. After removing some of the tubing Wisdom no longer needed, Moira carefully lifted his arm to lay it across Kitty's body, holding her loosely, and left them together, just spreading a warm blanket over them both.