Santa's Little Helper.
Legal Stuff: - I own nothing I just borrow a few things from time to time.
A/n: - Just to wish you a very Merry Christmas (or equivalent) and a peaceful, happy not to mention Smacked filled 2013. All feedback appreciated as always.
"Awe come on Stel please don't make me do this" Mac begged his wife as she all but dragged him into the Lab's locker room.
"Don't be such a baby nobody's making you do anything" Stella insisted presenting him with a red velvet Santa suit "We did promise Danny and Lindsay though."
"Oh 'we' promised did we" Mac raised an eyebrow sceptically.
"Alright technically I promised them you'd play Santa at Lucy's Christmas party" Stella admitted "But you said you would do anything for me remember on our wedding night."
"I do...I suppose we can't tell them I'm busy at work or I've immigrated to Australia anything but this" Mac winced as she began to strap padding around his midriff.
"No dice you don't want to let Lucy and her little friends at the NYPD Day Care Centre down now do you" Stella pulled the strapping tight "After all what kind of Uncle lets his favourite God daughter down on Christmas Eve."
"That's black mail" Mac puffed.
"I know but it worked though didn't it" Stella chuckled.
"Of course it did" Mac chuckled too; he always had been and always would be putty in his wife not to mention Lucy's hands.
"Good now for your pants" Stella nodded pleased with herself.
"Anything you say Stel" Mac's hands flew to his belt buckle.
"Your Santa pants" Stella amended her earlier statement "This is a strictly family friendly affair."
"Now she tells me" Mac feigned disappointment as she helped him climb into a pair of red velvet pants the size of Milwaukee.
"Now for the jacket" Stella held it out for him and he slid it on.
"I think you need to fasten this thing up for me Stella" Mac flailed his arms around helplessly.
"You know you're kind of cute when you're at my mercy" Stella grinned and began to fasten his buttons.
"Does that mean you intend to have your wicked way with me Mrs Taylor" Mac asked hopefully.
"Now that depends have you been a good boy this year Mr Taylor" Stella teased.
"Oh no definitely naughty" Mac teased back and pulled her into a long, hot kiss.
"Yep definitely very naughty" Stella told him breathlessly as they parted.
"Hey there is mistletoe above us that's all I'm saying" Mac pointed upwards to the light fitting "What else could I do?"
"Funny that, I could swear there was no mistletoe in this room when we came in" Stella glanced upwards suspiciously.
"A Marine is always prepared for every eventuality" Mac smirked and leant in for another kiss this time however Stella was ready and dodged.
"Oh no you don't" She giggled handing him his beard and hat "You're already late."
"You could come with me" He asked putting them both on "After all behind every good Santa is a truly great Mrs Claus."
"I'd love to but I have other plans" Stella replied walking him to the door "I have some last minute Christmas stuff to attend to."
"Stuff? What kind of stuff" Mac eyed her with suspicion this time.
"Let's just say I love a guy in uniform" Stella kissed his cheek tenderly "So don't be late home tonight Santa Mac."
Mac arrived at day care a few minutes later taking a deep breath to gain some sort of composure he opened the door and peeped around the door to hear a chorus of when Santa Got Stuck up the Chimney being loudly and very enthusiastically sung.
"The things we do for love" He mumbled to himself "A Marine is always prepared for every eventuality right?"
"About time too" Danny greeted his boss with a cheeky grin as Mac entered day care "Did Rudolf get stuck in traffic again?"
"What he means to say is thanks for this Mac" Lindsay nudged her other half in the ribs "We are incredibly grateful and please don't fire us."
"I'll think about it" Mac glared at Danny.
"There you are Santa" Mrs Donaldson the head of day care appeared "We've been waiting for you and all the children are very excited."
"Remember Mac if in doubt pink for girls and blue for boys" Lindsay passed him a sack filled with neatly wrapped Christmas gifts.
"Come this way" Mrs Donaldson took him by the arm.
"Good luck Mac you'll need it" Cackled Danny as he and Lindsay went over to Lucy.
"Look who is here to see us boys and girls" Mrs Donaldson called out as she led to his seat which had been specially decorated by the children with balloons and streamers. The room erupted into cheers and Mac felt kind of honoured to be there as he sat down. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all he though as children and parents formed a queue to see Santa.
This first child in the queue was a little boy called Timmy he was four years old with unruly brown hair and blue eyes dressed as a cowboy "What would you like for Christmas Timmy" Mac asked as the boy settled down on his knee.
"Do you have a few hours to spare" Timmy's mommy muttered under her breath and Mac tried not to panic.
"Please Mr Santa sir I'd like a Hairy McNairy book, a Monchchi toy...a guy of course not a girl, a Ben10 action figure, a red scooter, a baseball mitt..." Timmy continued listing his choice of Christmas presents.
Sometime later (Mac could swear he'd conducted shorter murder investigations) Timmy finally finished with a request for a Spiderman costume and left happily with his gift from Santa.
The next child along was Eliot, Eliot was one of the youngest children in the NYPD day care centre and he was dressed as a snowman.
"Hello Eliot what would you like to ask Santa for" Mac cradled the little boy.
"MOMMY!" He shrieked at the top of his lungs and kicked Mac straight in the guts "MOMMY!"
For one split second Mac wishes with all his heart that his Mommy was there too and then thankfully resplendent with his gift and reunited with his extremely apologetic mommy Eliot was led away.
"Ok Lucy your next" Danny walked his little 'fairy princess' over to Mac whilst Lindsay readied her camera and Mac heaved a huge sigh of relief.
"No" Lucy waiver her wand and flat out refused to sit on Santa's knee.
"Lucy sweetheart if you don't tell Santa what you want for Christmas then you won't get any toys" Danny tried to reason with the three year old.
"No" Lucy refused again "You're not the real Santa" She pointed accusingly at Mac "You're a naughty boy."
"Lucy I promise I am Santa" Mac told her as every kid in the room started to whine all at once "See I've got my red suit on and a white beard."
"You haven't got black boots on, Santa always wears black boots" Lucy stubbornly refused to co-operate "And only naughty people don't tell the truth my Mommy says so."
"Gee thanks Mommy" Danny grumbled at Lindsay who crouched down to talk to her daughter and Mac examined his feet to find he was indeed wearing brown loafers.
"Lucy Santa's come all the way from the North Pole just to give you a present" Lindsay tried to coax her daughter into visiting Santa "You do want a present right."
"What if the real Santa gets mad though" Lucy countered.
"He won't Lucy I promise" Mac removed his beard "It's me see and you know a marine never lies."
"Uncle Mac is Santa's little helper isn't that right Uncle Mac" Danny nodded.
"That's right" Mac nodded back through gritted teeth already planning his revenge on his colleague for that crack.
"That's right Santa is so busy he asks people to help him out by visiting good children to give them gifts so he can get ready for Christmas" Lindsay explained.
"Is Uncle Mac an elf" Lucy wanted to know.
"Sort of" Danny shrugged "So will you sit on his knee now.
"I don't know..." Lucy looked puzzled.
"How about we watch Lion king when we get home" Danny resorted to straight out bribery.
"And we can have chocolate Ice Cream" Lindsay played along.
"With sprinkles" Lucy wanted to know.
"With sprinkles" Lindsay confirmed.
"Well Ok then..." Lucy was still unconvinced but Danny scooped her up and placed her on Mac's knee before she could object again.
"Whatever you gonna do ...Do it quick Santa" He warned Mac.
"Honey I'm home" Mac called out as he entered his and Stella's apartment to find the place lit by candlelight, soft music playing in the back ground and every space available covered in mistletoe. A log fire was burning merrily in the grate and Stella had scattered pillows and a soft red throw on the floor by it.
"How did it go" Stella called out from their bedroom.
"Let's just say next year you and I are spending Christmas in Hawaii" Mac replied pouring himself a glass of bourbon and gulping it down in one go for strictly medicinal purposes of course.
"Stressful afternoon huh" Stella called out again.
"It's not all bad Mrs Donaldson assures me you can get almost any stains out of velvet" Mac called back.
"Well let's see if we can't make you feel better" She sauntered into the room wearing a scarlet silk robe trimmed with white faux fur and tied with an equally scarlet ribbon around her gorgeous body. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders in curly waves and Mac could detect the merest hint of a matching scarlet silk teddy and white lace stockings underneath.
"Oh it's definitely getting better" Mac smirked lustfully at her "Much, much better."
"Is it now" Stella purred wrapping her arms around his neck "Would you like to unwrap your present Santa Mac."
"A Marine is..." He began to undo the ribbon.
"Always prepared for every eventuality" Stella completed his sentence for him as he picked her up and laid her gently down onto the throw and pillows.
"Merry Christmas Mrs Claus" Mac said sliding over her.
"Merry Christmas Santa Mac" She told him back as their lips and bodies intertwined in a kiss no mistletoe needed.
Finis.