A Ryan/Esposito fic
A.N: This fic is based on the fact that Jenny is not allowing Javier to be Kevin's best man at the wedding. Which pissed me off to no end. and resulted in my devious little mind developing a storyline I think best suits the situation. please enjoy :D
"When the best is gone- I know that other things are not of consequence- the Heart wants what it wants- or else it does not care..." - Emily Dickenson
Chapter 1:
How could she do this? How could she even conceive of telling him who he could and couldnt have as a best man at the wedding. IT WAS HIS WEDDING TOO! Javier Esposito is his best friend. He has saved his life countless times over. He trusted Javi more than he trusted that the sun would rise the next morning. He trusted Javi, more than he trusted that Castle would be obnoxious at the precinct the following workday. Under NO circumstances, whatso ever, was he pushing Javi away for anybody! And he told Jenny as much.
Needlesss to say she was pissed.
"You would really throw away all of this away over some minor stupid detail like this?", she screamed.
Now, this statement from her was nothing if not hypocritical. She had once spent 6 hours freaking out because the decorative napkins at the tables were more of an eggshell colour than white. His Javi was way more important than that.
"Javier is my best fucking friend! He's saved my life more times than I've blinked! And you expect me to tell him that he can't be my best man at the wedding, simply because you want some snot nosed little gamer punk up there, just to appease your family?"
Jenny then tried turning things around on him, "If what I want is so unimportant to you, then maybe we should'nt even get married!"
And that was it. Kevin realised theat, for once, in her bride-zilla rampage, Jenny had said something that actually made sense. But in reverse, why would he marry someone who cared so little about something that was clearly important to him?
So he ended it. He called it off. All of it, and while Jenny was standing there, stunned, clearly not expecting that to happen, he walked to the bedroom, and packed a few days worth of clothes into a two duffel bags, grabbed his gun, badge and other essentials for work, and walked out their apartments front door. He would come back for, or send for, the rest of his things later. Thunder cracked through the air, as rain fell, seeming more somber and solemn than ever before. He went outside, and got into his car, throwing the duffel bags onto the passenger seat... and put his keys into the ignition, but then stopped... watching the rain on the windshield... Then as if in a daze, he started the car and began to drive, to the only other place he called home; the apartment of one Javier Esposito.
A little while later, Detective Kevin Ryan was sitting completely still in his car, outside Javier's apartment building, thoughts racing through his head;
"What if Lanie is over?"
"Would I be interrupting something?"
"I shouldn't have come here."
"I should have just gone to a hotel."
He was very nervous, he considered not even going inside, just turning around and going to the motel a few blocks back... but the thought of sitting in a bar or hotel room getting so drunk he blacked out wasn't appealing... He needed to talk through this. Have someone there to help him justify what he just did... and the only person he could think of othat was always there for him, was his Javi... So, no matter how badly he felt it was a bad idea, he didnt have much of a choice... so he grabbed his bags, opened the door and got out of the car, the icy chill of the pouring rain not affecting him in the least, and walked into the lobby of the building, and rather than taking the elevator, he started climbing the stairs, to his intermitently permanent safehaven.
Kevin stood outside Javi's door, as he had been for a few moments, delaying the inevitable for reasons beyond him... thoughts blazing through his head faster than Castle develops conspiracy theories; should he have called? where is his phone anyway? probably in one of the bags... not for the first time he asked himself, is it okay for me to be here? He had known Javi for years, but it still felt wrong just showing up unannounced... Kevin wrestled with his thoughts for a few more minutes before finally giving up. With a sigh he reached his arm out, and knocked twice. Shuffling sounds could be heard from inside the apartment.
Javier opened the door, saying, "who the f-" but stopped talking when he saw who it was. Javi took one good look at Kevin, and pulled him in for wordless embrace. No words where needed. And that was a good thing, because Javi had winded Kevin with his hug.
Releasing Kevin, who finally got to breathe again, Javi said, "Jeez Kev, you look... awful... just awful man... come on in..."
Kevin visably relaxed at these words, and reached down to grab his bags, but Javi wasnt having it.
"i've got it, just come on in", Javi said, lightly slapping Kevin's arms away from the bags.
Kevin smiled lightly, the icy blue of his eyes sparkling with many words that remained unspoken, yet heard as clear as day.
After they had gotten Kevin's stuff situated in the guest room, and they had had a few beers each in the living room on the couch, they began to talk.
"So what happened?", asked Javi.
"Jenny happened... she was just one giant mistake", Kevin said, his voice hoarse and his tone bitter.
"Kev, man I know you're upset, but you can't possibly mean that." Javi said, a little taken aback.
"No Javi, I can. And I do."
Kevin then proceeded and told Javi everything about his arguement with Jenny, and when he was done, all javier could do was sit there, clearly stunned... Kevin took one last gulp of his beer before opening yet another one.
"Bro, you called off your wedding... because of me?", Javier asked incrediously.
"Well yea Javi, you're my best friend. I'm not gunna marry someone whos gunna try and get in the way of that. I mean, how could she do that? I lthought i loved her, but after the fight, on the drive over, the glass shattered and i saw everything that was wrong with what we had. I saw that she has done nothing but manipulate me from the beggining. t started out with small, almost unnoticable things; like changing my ankle socks to tube socks, the brand of my toothepaste, she even tried to make me cut back on coffee!... almost everything was exactly how she wanted it, and I didn't even notice... But when she said that I couldn't ask you to be the best man at the wedding, that cracked the glass, and then it shattered." he finished with a slight shrug and a small shake of his head. He wasnt looking at Javi. But if he was, he would've seen a sight more rare than a speechless Castle; Javi, with teary eyes.
Hours, and quite a few more beers for Kevin later, the tension of the night, was disspelled or at least, ignored. Kevin was definately more drunk than Javi, who was a little more than buzzed. Javi looked over and saw that kevin was all but passed out where he was sitting. Sighing Javi got up and grabbed on of Kevins arms, put it over his shoulder and then hefted kevin off the couch and began to half walk, half drag Kev to the guest room. Stumbling only twice, Javi got kevin to the guest room, and seated on the bed. Next thing Kevin could tell in his stupor, was that Javi had seated him on the bed and was trying to take off his shoes, so Kevin made a valiant effort to stay upright to make it easier for his partner. He must have blacked out, just for a moment because now he was laying down and he felt blankets being pulled over him. Then despite the alcohol greasing the cogs of hs mind, Kevin suddenly began to accept something that he had tried pushing away for a very long time.
"I love you", Kevin said. Completely shitfaced, yet he said it as if he were drier than the dessert surface.
Javier was completely certain that Kevin thought that he was talking to Jenny. And as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt worse than a bullet. He finished settling Kev into bed, and started for the hall outside the bedroom when Kevin spoke again:
"I love you, my Javi"