A/N: Hey everybody! I'm sorry for the wait; this story kind of fucked with my mind for some reason. But hopefully you all will like it. R&R!

Warnings: slash sex.

Spoilers: not really, just have a general knowledge about the war in heaven

Castiel stood watching the brothers sleep.

It was something he knew would bother them if they ever found out, but really he didn't care; he was too tired to care. It never used to be like this; this bone deep weariness was something he'd never imagined feeling. Not to mention the regret and anger and sadness… it was all too much, so many feelings, so many emotions, he felt like his vessel would burst with them, explode in to a million bloody pieces, and his true self would soar from the constraints of this earthly body and ascend once again to heaven. Except…heaven was in anarchy and his brothers and sisters doubted his every move because of Castiel's attachment to him.

He had been drifting, taking in the water stained ceiling, the dark ring it had made, the way it was spreading day by day like a cancer, but he focused now on Dean, intense blue eyes taking in every detail. He watched his easy breathing lifting the thin blanket draped over him, covering his body splayed out and half naked on the twin sized bed, face soft with sleep and the play of moonlight streaming in through the half drawn shade. It was a peaceful image…and it filled Castiel with rage.

How dare he sleep so dreamlessly while Castiel was tormented night and day? How dare he wake up and joke with Sam and pretend that the world wasn't changed in every way that mattered? How dare he speak to Castiel as though he were better than him, condemning the choices he made, that he was forced to make, choices that tore him apart inside?

Castiel knew what it stemmed from, knew why Dean looked at him with that condescending light in his eyes; he didn't respect him! A lowly little mud-monkey didn't respect him, an angel of the Lord! Even after he rebelled for him, gave up everything for him, Dean couldn't be bothered with a thank you! Well Castiel wouldn't stand for this, not when he deserved so much more from the man, not when he deserved respect.

It was only a moment before he stood next to his bed, blocking the light and throwing Dean's face into shadow, staring down at the admittedly beautiful features. Castiel ripped the blankets down and was on the man before his eyes had even flown open in groggy surprise, but he began to fight almost immediately lashing out with strong fists and body bucking. This wouldn't have deterred Castiel, but in his anger he had forgotten about Sam, who reacting quickly, leaped out of bed, grabbed him securely by the back of his ever present trench coat and hauled him backwards off the bed with a snarl. The angel spun fast as thought; Sam's eyes barely had time to widen in surprise at the realization of who was attacking them before Castiel whipped up his hand, touching Sam with two fingers to the forehead. The taller Winchester fell boneless to the ground in the next moment, rendered unconscious by the angels will.

It was merely a shift in the air that alerted Castiel to the knife cutting towards him, but the blade was stopped when he turned quickly, catching the older Winchester's wrist in a hard grip, squeezing, until with a pained gasp Dean dropped the weapon. Cas kept hold of his wrist, his other hand wrapping around the vulnerable throat in front of him, walking them backwards until Dean's back collided roughly with the wall.

"Cas?" Dean rasped past his constricted throat. Castiel's felt a surge of satisfaction at the shocked look in his eyes.

"What, Dean? You did not think I would grow tired of your insolence? You did not think I would demand respect?" his voice was cold, as alien as it had ever been.

"I do! You know I- nngh"

Castiel's hand tightened on the throat within his grasp, fingers curling around and gripping with unbreakable, angelic strength, watching the skin go red then colorless under his fingertips, cutting off the lies he couldn't bear to hear. He stared in fascination as Dean's now free hands scrabbled at his own, the blunt nails doing no real harm. Blue eyes traveled upwards taking in the flushed, stubbled cheeks, the full lips opening on choked, broken sounds. Castiel's gaze continued on until he met Dean's, and there it froze.

Dean's eyes were a maelstrom of emotion; disbelief that Cas would hurt him, rage that someone he'd trusted so emphatically had betrayed him, disappointment that he had trusted in the first place.

Dozens of emotions flitted through those green eyes, as they did everyday, expressive and open.

There was so much life in him.

So much fight.

So much hope.

And Castiel couldn't bring himself to take a man like that away from the world; someone who had battled for every happy memory, every smile, and every laugh. Who was he to take this life because of his wounded pride? He was not God; he did not have that right.

His fingers suddenly uncurled from Dean's throat and the man in front of him gasped in great heaving breaths, color flooding back into his paling features, body going almost limp between Castiel and the wall. But all the time he kept his eyes open and trained on Cas, wide and strangely unafraid of the person who had just been choking the life from him.

Castiel himself felt unfulfilled, trembling with adrenaline. The anger had left him now, transformed into something new, but perhaps no less destructive. With Dean's body warm and pliant against his the feeling seeped deeper until he was panting with it, heart racing and cheeks flushing. Deep blue eyes stared in green and with a sudden mental shift he realized what it was: lust. It curled and roiled in the pit of his stomach until Castiel thought he would burst if he did not act on it, if he did not pull Dean against him and make him feel the same urgency and desperation.

Dean must have recognized the look in Castiel's eyes because he was suddenly moving, trying to pull away from the angel, slight panic flaring in the green depths. But Castiel would not abide him moving away, not when he knew what he really wanted now.

So, with teeth slightly bared, he gripped the hunter just above the elbows, hauling him up and pinning him with the length of his body, hesitating only a moment before pressing his lips against Dean's.

The kiss was sloppy with Castiel's inexperience and the roughness with which he applied it. He felt Dean wince as his teeth ground into soft lips and immediately gentled his mouth on the hunter's, wanting Dean to teach him, to want this. Still Dean resisted, unmoving in the angel's embrace, afraid to encourage him lest this be some type of cosmic joke, some way for the world to screw him over yet again. But when Cas' hand moved up and fitted perfectly over the hand print branded on his arm he couldn't stop the low gasp at the sensation, pleasurable and new. Suddenly he was kissing back, slotting his mouth more fully over the angel's, tongue flicking out and teasing the seam of his lips before slipping inside the opening Castiel provided. The hunter slid his tongue along the other man's enjoying the moan he made at the feel of it. His own moan soon followed when he coaxed Cas' tongue into his mouth, sucking on it, and Castiel's hand clenched down reflexively on the brand, sending sparks of pleasure down Dean's spine to pool low in his stomach.

The angel had only ever kissed the demon Ruby before, but this was nothing like that; she had tasted of sulfur and corruption where Dean tasted like righteousness and something sweet and musky all at once. His tongue was a hot, welcome intrusion in Castiel's mouth and made soft, needy sounds escape him before he realized it. The lust was burning through him now and he need more. His hips began to instinctively roll against Dean's, and he was more relieved than he could say when the hunter began to match him thrust for thrust, the friction against their covered erections making them both groan. They kissed harder, mouths hot and desperate against one another.

Dean began to impatiently undress the angel, shucking the trench coat off and to the side, yanking at the tie, pulling open buttons roughly enough that a few fell noiselessly to the carpet below. He left the shirt hanging unbuttoned and moved to the belt, making quick work of it and the clasp of the ever present dress pants, letting them fall to the floor so Cas was left only in his shirt, tie, and boxers. And all the while Castiel rutted against him, nearly mindless with his new found pleasure. Dean would have found it amusing if not for the thigh pressed between his own that was rubbing his own cock to aching hardness.

He reversed their positions so that Cas' back was to the wall and while their hips were momentarily still he removed Castiel's underwear along with his own before pulling back and staring him directly in the eye. Dean looked into lust blown eyes and nearly had to groan at how good the angel looked like this, mouth swollen and breath coming in quick, shallow pants. It hurt and confused him to think that this beautiful, angelic creature didn't think he respected him, after he had done so much for him and his brother. Well he'd prove him wrong, he'd show Cas how much he meant to him, and he'd do it in the only way he knew how.

Dean reached out and gripped the angel's cock, pumping slowly, grinning when Cas cried out and thrust into his fist, but he only repeated the action a few more times before pulling his hand away. He lifted his hand to the reddened lips and presented two fingers, rasping out a curt "Suck," slipping them into the waiting, eager mouth. He spit copiously into his free palm and began to pump along his length, biting his lip and throwing back his head at the sensation of stroking himself and Cas' hot mouth sucking and swirling around his fingers. When he could finally bring himself to remove his fingers and hand he quickly pulled Cas into a kiss, moving to his throat and finding a spot that had him arching in the hunter.

He reached around with his spit slick fingers and rubbed one slowly over the angel's opening before slowly pushing it in to the third knuckle, ignoring the slightly awkward angle. When Castiel only moaned and pushed back he began to thrust in and out slowly, and after a minute of this he added the second, scissoring them to stretch out that ring of muscle that was gripping him so tightly. Castiel was making obscene sounds of pleasure, unashamedly rolling his hips to take in more of Dean's fingers, clutching at his back frantically, and when Dean pressed inside him just right he nearly sobbed out Dean's name.

Dean felt almost dizzy with the need to be inside the tight heat that was pulsing around his fingers. Ignoring the whimper of disappointment, he removed his fingers and hiked Cas' leg around his hip, positioning himself at his entrance, sinking in inch by delicious inch. Dean was gasping by the time he was fully sheathed in the perfect, tight, heavenly heat that was Castiel. The angel barely gave him time to adjust before he was arching, trying to get Dean to move deeper, needing him to relieve the pressure in his stomach that had been building for what felt like hours. Castiel was overwhelmed when Dean actually began moving, strong thighs straining to thrust deep, brushing over his prostate, making him cry out with pleasure.

"Dean please…more," his voice was slurred, unashamed at sounding so fucked out and blissful, unashamed to beg for what he wanted. The sound of his begging had Dean snapping his hips forward harder and faster, eager to give the angel what he wanted, Cas' name a moaned mantra on his lips as he felt his balls drawing up, orgasm imminent. But he wanted Castiel to come apart first, so with his free hand he reached between them and began to pump the red, neglected cock, tight fist fast and hard to match his thrusts.

And with only a handful of rough strokes Castiel was undone; he bucked wildly, moaning Dean's named through broken gasps, a hot spurt of cum coating their stomachs and the shirt Cas still wore. The hunter groaned as the clenching muscles gripped him tight, but it wasn't until Castiel's hand clasped down hard on his brand that he came too, hips pumping helplessly into the pulsing heat, head thrown back in unbelievable ecstasy.

When finally the shudders stopped racking his body he collapsed forward, and neither of them able to hold themselves up on shaking limbs, slid down to the carpet in a heap of tangled limbs. It took long minutes before they caught their breath and pulled away from one another, Castiel lifting himself off of Dean's spent cock, trying not to moan at the sensation. They lay quietly after that, a not completely uncomfortable silence, broken only by Dean taking a quick look across the room to see if Sammy was alright. It was Castiel who spoke first.

"I am sorry Dean," he said in a low voice, reaching to lightly run his fingers over the bruises forming on Dean's neck. "I do not know what came over me."

"Don't worry about it Cas," the hunter mumbled, but he didn't stop the hand from stroking the abused skin.

"Forgive me," was the whisper that had Dean turning to look in the blue eyes that stared almost desperately into his own. And he didn't have the words to say that he would always forgive the angel, that he was like family now and always had a place with him and Sammy, that no matter how angry they got at one another he would never turn his back on him.

But it was enough for Dean to place his hand over the angel's, enough to stay laying there on the cheap motel carpet, enough to keep green eyes locked on blue.

Yes, Dean would always forgive him.

Because not only did he respect Castiel, he loved him.

FIN

I hope you enjoyed! Please review! I can't even describe how happy they made me last time =)