N/A: Hey, guys! I wrote this one-shot for you, IchiRuki fans! And I really hope you like it. So if you do, please, let me know and I'll write more FanFictions about the cutest couple ever! Good reading!
Disclaimer: It's really hard for me to admit it. Especially after you all thought I did own Bleach and its characters. Well, I don't. I'm sorry I fooled you all for so long.
THE WAY WE HATE EACH OTHER
I am crying. I can't understand why. I don't ever cry. But I am now. Something horrible is happening… My heart is hurting real bad. I'm seated on the ground and I feel like I could never stand up again. What's going on with me?
I open my eyes. And I see him. Lying in front of me. Bleeding. Bleeding. Bleeding.
No. No. No, no, no, no, no… It can't be happening. It just can't be true. The pain keeps increasing inside me. I close my eyes again. The tears continue to come out.
How could it be true? He's so strong. He always has been, but he is even stronger now. How could he be defeated?
No. I don't buy it.
I wipe my tears off. Next moment my face is just inches away from his.
"Ichigo." – I whisper, shaking him gently. He doesn't move. – "Ichigo. Ichigo, wake up." – I shake him stronger. He's not moving. He's not moving… - "Ichigo, please, please wake up. Please. Open your eyes. I promise I won't punch you for losing and letting that Hollow eat all those souls. It wasn't you fault. He was too strong, couldn't be beaten by only the two of us. Wake up. We're injured now, but we're gonna get healed and we're going after him. Together. We're gonna defeat him. Together, Ichigo. I need you. I need you… Can't you see I need you? Can't you see I need you so badly? Don't do this to me. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, Ichigo…"
I can't help it. The tears are falling again. The pain is too big, I can't stand it. I collapse on top of him, resting my head on his chest.
I don't know how much time has passed. It could be minutes, could be hours, even days. But it doesn't matter. Not in the slightest. I can feel his heart. I can feel his heart. I can feel it. Beating. Beating!
I raise my head and look at him. Breathing… He's breathing… I touch his cheek.
"Ichigo…"
He opens his eyes. Happiness invades me at once. And relief. And then I can't hold back the feeling of silliness. Of course he was alive. How could he, Ichigo, be dead? I wonder if he was breathing even when I started freaking out and if that's why I didn't perceive. What? Did I say "freaking out"? Of course not. I was just worried. Normal. He's my friend.
"Rukia…" – He looks at me, seeming to be very confused. – "What's happened? Were you crying? Are you hurt?" – He sits and holds me on his arms. He sees the cut on my forehead and all the dry blood. – "Rukia! You're-" – By the face he made, he had just realized everything that's happened. – "Damn him! Damn me! I lost! Rukia, are you okay? Where did he go?"
"Forget him. We gotta run to Soul Society and get healed. Then you can get back to him. But till that I think he'll be gone for good. Now that we know he's strong, a bigger team will go after him, and he won't be able to win over our taichous and sub-taichous."
"He's not strong, it's that I was such an-"
"Of course he is. I saw everything and I fought him too. You can't fool me."
"No. I'm okay. I can go after him right now."
Humph, typical.
"Like hell you are. Think I'm gonna let you? No way. Time to stop playing hero. Heroes can die too, you know."
"I don't think I'm a hero, I just know I can defeat him and-"
"Do you really think I care about what you're saying? I've already made my mind. Came on."
He was about to argue with me, but I see him noticing the tears' marks on my face, again.
"Rukia, why were you crying?"
"W-what? I wasn't. Where did you get it from?"
I turn my back on him, rubbing my face.
By the silence, I can see he is still thinking about it, but I'm not gonna let him talk.
"Came on, Ichigo, let's go! My head is hurting like hell, I can't stay here and chat with you. And you're also way too much wounded. I know you don't care, but I d-" – I swallow air. – "Let's go."
Oh, crap. He's still looking at me, worried. He's about to say something… He comes closer. Then he touches my hair, close to the cut on my forehead.
"Rukia… I'm so sorry…"
Tsk. Why does he have to be so protective? And can't don't he realize he's just making me worse? I can't breath properly when he is caressing my hair and… What am I thinking?
"Idiot." – I take his hand off my head. – "It wasn't your fault." – I look at his miserable face. – "Ichigo, stop it. Just stop it, okay? It was not your fault."
"But I-"
"Why did I come with you?"
"Well, because you're, like, my partner and-"
"Exactly. Partner. And what do partners do? They work together. Yes, they help and protect each other, but the goal is the same. So please don't act like your job is to accomplish the mission plus to protect me, and like mine is just to watch you fight."
Did I over-react? He's looking at me so shocked.
Oh, no. Now he's just staring at me. I know that face. He's gonna say something really –
"I'm sorry. I have to disagree. Our job is to accomplish the mission. That's right. We do that together. But we also have another special and essential job. Mine is to protect you. You can't help it. I can't help it. It's an inevitable consequence of your job, which is… To keep me fighting, keep me helping, keep me playing hero, keep me standing. I can't go on without you, Rukia."
"Ichigo…"
Are my ears working properly? This is dangerous… I'm sure my heart is beating at a very unhealthy speed.
"Now tell me. Why were you crying?"
I sigh. Damn Ichigo. Being so shockingly honest to prevent me from acting otherwise.
"I… It was just a silly moment…"
"Why, Rukia?"
Ichigo, speaking so patiently? Not a good sign. I'm getting really nervous.
"I thought you were dead."
"You were crying because you thought I was dead."
"Yeah." – I whisper, looking at the ground.
"Three years together. I've never seen you crying. Not a single tear. And I've got this funny feeling that not even Renji have."
I really feel like running away right now. He's looking at me so intently…
Uh-oh. He's coming closer. And closer… Now he's standing right in front of me.
"Rukia, I'm really, really tired."
"See? I told you ages ago. Let's go. After you're healed, I'll make sure you're going to sleep a lot and there will be no more-"
"I'm tired of this little game of us."
"What are you talking about?"
Maybe if I pretend to be oblivious he's gonna feel discouraged and give up. Please.
"Don't play dumb, Rukia."
Okay, I wasn't really expecting it to work. Damn.
"Ichigo. Don't."
"No, Rukia. I can't stand it anymore. I'm completely aware of my feelings, I'm aware of yours, and I know you are too. Why deny it?"
I'm silent. And I know it's annoying him.
Give up. Please, give up. Give up.
"I'm not giving up, you know." – Did he just read my mind? – "Listen. I know you're afraid. Probably never felt it before, and never had to face it, but I-"
"What do you know, Ichigo? What?"
He is so right. But I know I can't face it yet. Cowardice, fear, weakness, insecurity… I'm so lost… And I've been lost for years… Since the day I met him…
"What do I know? I know I'm in love with you. And I know you're in love with me. That's enough for me. What else do I need to know?"
Oh, no, he said it.
"Ichigo, no… We can't, we don't know anythi-"
"Rukia, stop it. Stop it. It hasn't just started a while before. It's begun years ago. We can't ignore it anymore. It's overwhelming."
Tell me about it.
I sigh.
"No."
I turn my back on him. Why won't he drop it?
But another area of my mind, a deep, deep area, which is seldom heard by me, asks the opposite: Why won't you accept it?
He turns around me and grabs my face with both hands, forcing me softly to look at him. Those eyes…
"Tell me you don't dream about me every bloody night. Tell me you don't get everything I'm feeling just by looking into my eyes. Tell me you don't miss me when we're apart and that you don't wanna run to meet me. Tell me you're not sure I'm the only one you're gonna ever like this much. Tell me you wouldn't do anything to save me. Tell me you don't need me by your side. Tell me you don't love me."
Does he feel all that too? I thought I was becoming crazy… Alone. No. I can't tell him what he asks. I can't… I can't lie to him. He'd know. Oh, here are the tears again.
"I'm feeling the very same things you are, Rukia." – He continues. – "We can't deny it. And even if we could, even if we had the choice, I would still choose to love you. Because even if you are a pain in the ass sometimes, most of the time, I'd say, you're everything I want, everything I need. And you love me back. Now, please, let me now why the hell two persons like us should live apart if they love each other. Why should their love and fulfilling life together, be wasted? Don't you wanna be happy, Rukia? Well, I do, and I want you to be happy too. I love you so much…"
He lowers his head, looks once more into my eyes and then he kisses me.
Suddenly there's no cowardice, fear, weakness, insecurity or whatever anymore. Just Ichigo and I. A really, completely and utterly happy "I".
When he finishes the kiss, he stops for two seconds with his eyes still closed, and kisses me again as quickly. Then he places his hands around my waist and looks at me.
"Not fair…" – He's saying as kissing my tears away. – "I declare all my feelings to you and you don't say anything…"
Tsk, he's right. I gotta say something too, at least say he was right about everything, or that he's really good at kissing…
"But it's okay, I understand." – He says. If someone had told me a couple of years ago I'd think Ichigo is cute someday, I'd laugh so hard I'd need an otorrinolaringologist. – "I know girls just have the words vanished from their minds when I kiss them."
Bloody bastard.
Next second he's lying on the floor, thanks to the kick he got on his abdomen.
"What the hell! Dammit, Rukia, you just kicked my injury! Are you nutts, midget?"
Yeah, that must've hurt like hell. Ha-ha.
"Oh, so you're back! Nice hearing from you again, Ichigo! Could you tell me who was that sickly sweet and romantic boy that was here just a moment ago?"
Ouch. By his face, I think he'd rather have got another kick. Or maybe two.
"Okay, smartass, you're not getting another kiss till you say you're sorry."
What?!
"Like I wanted you to kiss me!"
He's gotta be kidding. Gotta be.
Oh, now he's laughing. What is so funny?
"You know you can't fool me, don't you?"
I can't say sorry. What about my pride? It's everything in our relationship of fights. I can't lose to him. And I can't survive from now on without his kisses, either. Damn him. There's gotta be some other way out. Think. Think.
"I'm not saying sorry. But just to make things clear… You did think that if you don't kiss me, you're not gonna kiss me, didn't you?"
"What? Of course, that's the-" – He pulled a face.
Ha, there. Piece of cake.
Now he is just staring at me.
"Okay." – He says.
"Uh? What?"
"We're not kissing anymore. If that's what you want."
What?
Oh, crap.
What am I saying? I can survive without his kisses! Of course I can!
But that was so good…
No, it wasn't.
Oh, came on, Rukia, you know it was. And you know even better that it's not just the kiss you're gonna miss. It's the way he holds you too, and the way you feel when he holds you. The way you become warm and peaceful, the way everything turns out to be okay, just like that. The way that makes you feel safer than you had ever been. The way that makes you want to be kissing him forever, in his arms. Maybe stopping some time to fight a little bit, because you also can't live without that.
I look at him. And it's so obvious he feels all that too. What am I so afraid of? Screw pride.
I walk to him, not taking my eyes from his. When I'm right in front of him, he continues to just stare down at me. Huh, like I could possibly expect he would make it easier for me. Bastard.
So I have to force his neck down till his head reaches the same level of mine. And this time I'm the one who kisses him.
At first he doesn't seem to be willing to kiss me. Pretending, certainly. I'm trying to say sorry with my gentle kiss and with my caresses on his hair. Finally he holds me and kisses me back.
Some minutes later the kiss is over.
"I didn't hear your 'sorry'" – He says, his mouth one inch far from mine.
"You didn't? Oh, too bad. It's a shame you haven't said I'd have to repeat it in case you didn't hear me."
He chuckles and kisses my neck.
Wow. This is good…
"Okay, this time, I'll let you win."
"Ha-ha. I always win, dumbass."
"Like hell you do."
"Of course I do. Like now. Do you think you've let me win? No way. You just couldn't stand not kissing me. So I smartly perceive I didn't need to say sorry, I just had to kiss you first that you'd give in. Guess what? I was right, as usual."
"I hate you so much."
I can't suppress a smile.
"Ichigo. Just so you know… I hate you just as much as you hate me."
Okay, I know. Terrible declaration of love. But that's what I can give him for now. Besides, he completely got what I meant. And I'm pretty sure that's enough for him.
He smiles too and hugs me tightly, kissing the top of my head.
At this moment, we're both wondering the very same thing. If somebody could possibly be happier than we are now.
THE END
N/A: Hey, again! You know, I'm not American. So… Could you please warn me about the English mistakes I made on the FanFiction? Please? Love you all, shipper fellows!!
