Hold Me Through The Night
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize.
Summary: Emma's had her faith shaken and she turns to the one person she knows will help her through the pain and makes a revelation. Archie/Emma established.
This is sort of a follow-up to "Defy Expectations," in that the relationship between Archie and Emma is established. This story, however, takes place after "The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter," though, as you can see, I'm not an Emma/Graham shipper, as much as Graham has grown on me as a character. I am an Archie/Emma shipper. (Team Archie all the way!)
That's enough of my prattling on though. You came here to read this fic!
It had been a pretty somber affair, calling the paramedics and having them confirm what she already knew. Emma found herself pretty much running on auto-pilot, the logical part of her brain concluding that, since Graham was pronounced dead, she was the next best choice to become sheriff of Storybrooke as the only deputy sheriff in town – now interim sheriff, Emma guessed – or at least, until Regina got her way and had a new election to replace her with someone that the older woman could control.
Of all the things that she thought could have happened to her, this was so far down on her list that she had written it off as impossible. But, as Emma was quickly figuring out, impossible was very possible in Storybrooke, Maine.
As the ambulance trundled away, lights on but sirens silent, Emma slumped down to the curb, head in hands.
She couldn't bear to go back into the police station, back into the office, not after she had held Graham as he died. It hurt her far too much for that.
True, he had kissed her right before he collapsed, but Emma regretted that the last thing he had done with his life was to kiss her (and to have her respond in kind). It had been instinct really and she was the first to admit that she found his exotic bad boy attitude to be damn attractive, but Emma couldn't get over the crashing guilt that followed it.
Why did he have to kiss her and express attraction to her when she already found someone that she was pretty sure she was falling in love with?
Emma choked back a sob.
Nails clicked on pavement and a collar jingled, the only signs that Pongo was out for a walk and, wherever Pongo went, Archie was soon to follow.
She heard the movement as someone sat down next to her. Emma knew it was Archie. He always wore that same cologne, a rich and comforting smell that sparked her interest. Her heart clenched tightly as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to his chest, as if he knew that she needed someone to comfort her.
Vaguely, Emma was very aware of the fact that Pongo was sitting on her other side. The dog was panting lightly, though she had to marvel (briefly) at how well trained he was, aware that he wasn't allowed to move from his master's side.
Emma didn't know how long they sat there, but Archie held her tight, rubbing his hand on her back, soothing her.
She let her tears fall finally, only in the comfort of his embrace. There's something special about Archie that made her let her walls down around him – only him. To date, the quiet and unassuming psychiatrist is the only person she could be completely open with. Emma found that his honesty and his integrity were extremely valuable, especially considering the world that Henry threw her into with very little warning.
His lips found her ear and he whispered comforting words to her, sweet little things that steadied her heart, though Emma's guilt weighed heavily at her mind.
Finally, she twisted and turned to look at him.
Archie must have seen something in her eyes because emotions ran so fast across his face that Emma lurched backwards in surprise.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
Emma realized that he was the first person that night to ask her that one, simple question. She shook her head, trying to collect her thoughts and her emotions to little avail.
"No."
He gave her an understanding smile. "Of course you're not. You were there when Sheriff Graham died. How silly of me to ask."
Bless him and his genuine concern and his adorable face.
Emma fought more tears and she soldiered forwards. She had to be honest with Archie. She couldn't live with this on her chest or her mind.
"He died right after he kissed me, Archie, and I kissed him back."
Sometimes, being blunt and honest was a good thing. However, Emma could see the way that that one little, very honest (and blunt) statement hurt Archie. Having gotten close to him over these last weeks, Emma was coming to see how openly he wore his emotions, though they were only really obvious if he truly trusted a person.
Archie struggled with finding the right words, Emma could see, but he did find them, eventually.
"I understand, Emma," he said, his tone clearly defeated. "It's only natural that you fall in love with someone like him."
He pulled away from her, his eyes downcast. Archie was sad, she could tell, by the way that his shoulders were slumped and how he wouldn't meet her gaze. Emma felt her heart break at this.
Sure, she had been attracted to Graham and a part of her had envisioned a relationship with him, however Emma had come to terms with the fact that she viewed him solely as a brother-like or protector figure. Maybe he felt otherwise, and he probably did, considering that, in the end, he had told her that he felt the most alive around her. It had been very disconcerting and, if she was being totally honest, that last kiss hadn't felt as right as the ones that she shared with Archie.
Reaching over, she cupped his chin, tilting his face so that they were looking at each other. She saw the agony in his eyes and it truly hurt her.
"Archie," she began slowly, careful to make sure that she had his full and undivided attention, "we kissed. He said something about remembering and then he died. I didn't fall in love with him in that instant."
"You don't have to sugar-coat things for me, Emma," he replied. "If he remembered something about his life outside his town – or about that curse of Henry's – and it made you think otherwise, you don't have to hide it from me, especially if you don't really want to be with me."
He was trying to get out before he got too hurt. Emma was an expert at that defense mechanism. She had used it plenty of times before.
"But I do want to be with you."
"Emma, guilt is the worst reason to stay in a relationship." His tone was firm and she recognized that backbone that she had seen stand up to Regina. "Besides, if that curse of Henry's is real, then you clearly had a better effect on Graham than you did on me." He gave a weak, self-deprecating smile. "Clearly, I'm not worthy enough."
"But you are," Emma replied, just as firmly. She slid a little closer to him. "You are to me and that's all that matters." He looked away and she reached out her free hand to find his, squeezing tightly. "You listen to me, Archie. If Henry's theory about the curse ends up being true and Graham was remembering a life in a different world, then you are so worth it. You're worth it to me."
He snorted, suppressing a laugh.
"Emma, you don't have to lie to me."
"I'm not." She wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tightly, whispering against his chest, "Please believe that I'm not."
She honestly didn't know where all of her tears were coming from. All her life, Emma had never been a very big crier – probably a result of building up tough skin from being in the foster care system for as long as she could remember.
But this? With Archie?
Definitely worth crying over.
She felt him tense, as if to move and Emma tightened her hold on him. Emma didn't know a lot about what happened to him in this town before she got here, but she was not letting him go that easy.
"Emma," he whispered, "please tell me that you're serious."
"I am," she replied, looking back up at him. His eyes, hidden behind his glasses, were dark with emotions. Emma thought that she saw the hints of tears there. "Even if something happened to Graham didn't happen to you, that doesn't mean that you're not special, Archie. Besides, what I feel for you is so much stronger than anything I ever felt for Graham."
His face twitched a bit and he tilted his head to the side.
"Really?"
It was pretty obvious that he wanted to believe her. Was his self-confidence that low that he couldn't believe that she saw something in him that drew her to him over Graham?
"Really." Emma gave him a bright, genuine smile. "I love you, Archie."
"You love me?" He did sound so astonished.
Emma nodded. "I do. Despite everything that has happened the last few weeks and tonight, I love you."
The smile that split across his faces, despite the somber events of the evening, was so heart-warming. His eyes sparkled with delight. That was all Emma could take in before he reached up to cup her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. Moments later, he closed the distance between them and gave her a little kiss on the lips.
It was short, chaste, innocent, and sweet, so much different from the deeper and hungrier kiss that Graham had given her earlier – and Emma found herself another kiss from Archie. When he pulled away, she moaned a little in desire, looking at him with hooded eyes.
"I – I love you too, Emma."
His words were quiet and truly sincere. Emma felt her heart swell.
A part of her still mourned the fact that Graham, her boss (of sorts) and something of a friend to her in this town had passed away in her arms just hours before. It would take her a long time to get over how much it hurt – though the logical part of her mind knew that Archie was a psychologist and he would do everything in his power to keep her happy, healthy, and sane. This was a bit messed up, she had to admit, but she also admitted that Archie would do everything in his power to make her better.
As her thoughts turned to Graham, her stomach churned. The memories came back to her.
Tears sprung to her eyes again.
She was having a very emotional day today – Graham's death and her declaration of love to Archie within a matter of hours.
Pongo's head settled onto her thigh and she looked at the dog. He gave her the sad, sympathetic look that only a dog could possibly give. Caving, Emma reached out a hand and stroked the top of the dog's head.
"It's been a long day for you," Archie said, knowingly. "Graham's death can't have been easy on you."
"It wasn't," she agreed.
"What can I do to help you feel better?"
That was part of the reason why she loved him. He saw to the root of the problem.
"Just hold me tonight, Archie, please," she asked.
The knowing look on his face told her everything that she needed to know. Gently, Archie helped her up and, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist, led her back to his house, Pongo trailing behind them.
Later, when they had settled onto his bed and Archie wrapped a large, really soft comfortable quilt around them, Emma put her head onto his shoulder. He slipped his glasses off of his face and put them into the hard case that he kept on the night table before pulling Emma close to his chest.
His lips found her ears.
"I'll still be here," he whispered to her, as she slipped off to sleep, warm in his embrace. "When you wake up and whenever you need me, I'll be here."
And Emma smiled as she fell asleep.
Well, that's that. What do you think? Did you like it? Anyway, let me know what you think. I'm a writer and we crave reviews (and attention).
As I said earlier, go Team Archie!