AN: Little piece of fluff. A bored and restricted Jack pushes things a little too far. Expect childish behaviour and some stern words from our favourite pint-sized Napoleonic Power-monger. Probably not headed where you think.

Jack/Janet and later a visitor. Rated K+ Humour/Friendship. Unedited as yet.

SWEET TEMPTATION.

Jack O'Neill bit his lip. He was so close to accomplishing his mission that he could already taste his reward. Glancing first left and then right he broke cover and tentatively moved forward. There were two things at stake here: His prize and his dignity. Moving too fast would get him caught insuring the loss of his prize and he was trying hard to protect his dignity – not at the front but at the back. There were cameras everywhere and he was not up for being on display.

Three more steps and he was there. "Yes." he whispered as he reached his destination. He licked his lips with anticipation and reached out.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

The stern voice close behind him made him jump. Shocked he just stood completely frozen with his arm still out-stretched. Then somewhat belatedly he remembered he was naked and his backside was on full view. He turned quickly sending the tray crashing to the ground as he flailed to cover himself. Flustered he shook his head a little before he was able to speak. "It's not what you think." He cleared his throat, he knew he sounded like a small boy rather than a forty-something year old military officer.

Guilt welled up inside him as a pair of disbelieving eyes shot him a warning look. "Honestly it's not." he whispered.

"So you weren't just about to eat that piece of cherry pie?" Janet pointed with her pen.

Jack glanced at the pie in question that was now on the floor and then back at the pint-sized doctor who had him in a bind. "No." he said automatically and shook his head. "I was just going to saver it." His own mouth turned up into a grimace. Even for him that excuse was lame.

"Colonel." Frasier pointed back towards his bed. "I've explained this to you already. You can't have anything sugary, you've been exposed to an alien organism that put your insulin levels through the roof."

"But..."

"No buts Colonel, now move."

Jack moved out, careful not to step in front of the Doc, she'd already seen his ass once today and that was more than enough for him. For a big strong guy he was surprisingly modest when it came to his body, especially since he noticed he was getting just a little saggy.

"Anyhow, too much sugar is bad for you, you should think about moderating your intake."

Huffily Jack smoothed out the bed sheets as he settled back into place. "I do watch what I eat...I do!" he insisted as Frasier once again gave him a sceptical look. "It's the organism. It made me do it."

A hand rode out onto a shapely hip. "How old are you?" she challenged. "You're serious? 'The organism made me do it'. Honestly Jack O'Neill, sometimes I do worry about you."

"It could have." Jack defiantly insisted, knowing it was long since time to give up on his childish argument.

"No it could not. It's in your pancreas not your mind. You wanted that pie because you have a sweet tooth and shame on you, Sergeant Siler is in post-op and has been fasting for a long time. He was really looking forward to getting that and now you have destroyed it on him."

Jack fiddled with the edges of his sheet. "I didn't know that. I just thought it was left over."

"Left over or not, you know you can't have it. It could actually kill you! I expect better from people on my ward, especially you Colonel. You're supposed to lead by example, not go around stealing incapacitated men's desserts. That's just mean." Janet decided that her patient was starting to learn his lesson. "You can apologise to Siler when he gets here, he'll be along shortly." She watched him wince just a little.

"Sure thing Doc." Jack was actually feeling pretty terrible. Siler was a good guy, he didn't mean to be mean to him. The accident prone guy liked pie just as much as he did. "Doc?"

"Yes Colonel?" Janet turned back her stethoscope in her hand.

"Any chance you could nip down to the commissary and get him another piece? I would go but..." he looked down at his hospital gown.

Janet hid her grin. "Well...okay Colonel but just this once. And you have to promise me you will stay put. You set one foot out of that bed and I will know. Maybe not straight away but I am going to review the tapes from that camera when I come back up."

Jack followed the line of her vision to the small machine in the upper corner of the room, he said nothing.

"I mean it Colonel. I'll use a seven gauge needle for your next round of shots if you even so much as try to move from that cot."

"That's the big honking one isn't it?"

"Yes Colonel it is. It's the biggest one there is in fact."

Jack grimaced "Okay Doc, you got yourself a deal. I won't budge I promise."

Janet didn't move until he looked over and made solid eye-contact. "Good." She relented a little now that he was clearly sorry. "And Colonel?"

"Yeah?" What more could she possibly want?

"It won't be much longer. Your results are looking better than I expected at this stage."

"Really?" Jack looked expectantly at his doctor.

"Just a few more days, that's all."

"Three days! But it's been a week already!" Jack felt really hard done by. Never in his life had he gone so long without candy or chocolate or cake or pie. He eyed the floor-pie venomously, he actually physically hated that piece of pastry.

"Oh come now, it's not so bad. At least you can still walk."

Jack tried hard to agree with his doctor but this whole no sugar rule felt like the biggest injustice of his life, which he knew was complete and utter nonsense. "Yeah, yeah I know... Not that at the moment that's not true. I can't walk." The doctor blinked at him. "You're going to stick me if I do." he explained.

At that Janet had to smile, Jack O'Neill was just such a big kid sometimes. "I'll be back soon and then you can walk about as much as you want."

"You going to give me my clothes back?" Frasier shook her head. "How about just my boxers even?"

"Maybe."

Janet had taken Jack O'Neill's clothes after she had caught him sneaking out of the commissary with a box of doughnuts. She figured if he had nothing but a backless shift it might keep him curtailed to the ward. It had worked quite well...right up until the pie incident.

Jack sighed as the doctor left. The piece of broken floor-pie was taunting him. Why did it have to stare at him like that? "Shut up and go away." he told it. But of course it just sat there begging him to get up and eat it. Briefly he was tempted but then he remembered the threat of the big needle and instead turned onto his side where he couldn't see it.

Was he really so weak as to be tempted by pie? Geez let's hope the Goa'uld never found out about that one! Chain him up, bash him, zat him and break his ribs and he wouldn't give in but wave a piece of cherry pie under his nose and he would spill his guts. "Nah." he muttered, he was stronger than that. Besides it was only three days. "I can do it." he quietly resolved. He was probably just bored that was all.

"Sir?"

"Carter!" Jack grinned as he rolled over and sat up. He was extremely glad of the distraction.

"How are you feeling today, Sir?"

"Much better. Doc says I should get the all clear in a day or so...well three but that's better than four." He smiled his crooked smile at his 2IC and she smiled back.

She was hovering. "Sit down Carter, you're making me nervous."

Sam slid into the chair by the bed and watched as Jack took note of the brown cardboard box in her hands.

"What ya got there?" he asked turning his brown eyes on her.

"A gift. I think you'll like it."

"Oh." Curious Jack took the box and opened it. "Carter, I can't have this. Are you trying to be cruel?"

Sam grinned widely as Jack shoved the cake back into her hands. "You can."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

Jack glared at his second in command. "It's cake Carter!"

"It's sugar-free Colonel."

Jack's eyebrows bounced. "Really?"

"Yeah sure you betcha." she teased, using one of his favourite lines.

Jack licked his lips. He really wanted it but he'd just made himself a promise. "Um no thanks Carter, I think I should probably wait."

Sam Carter blinked, was this a parallel universe? Jack O'Neill never refused cake. She was actually a little disappointed. "But Colonel, I made it myself."

Jack looked at her forlorn features and immediately relented. "Well why didn't you say so? Now I'll definitely have some." Her face lit up like it was Christmas. Jack took a moment to enjoy her pleasure, then he remembered why she was here. "See over there." he said "by Siler's bed there's a fork."

"Where?" Sam couldn't see it.

"Beside the floor-pie."

Floor-pie, what on earth was the talking about? Then she spotted it and regarded her CO. "Sir, are you that desperate that you would eat with a fork that's been on the floor?"

Jack felt a little caught out, was that desperate? He didn't know. "It's a sterile ward." he defended.

"I think we should use these." Sam produced two paper plates and two forks out of her bag.

"Awesome. Carter you're the best." Jack grinned at the one thing in his life that was always going to be sweeter than any confectionery he could ever imagine.

As soon as she handed it to him dug into what he was certain was the best cake he had ever tasted in his life.

"Mmmmmm." he said and Sam agreed.

AN: Aw, hope he enjoys that and Carter is still about when Frasier comes back and catches him covered in crumbs or he'll be getting stuck with the big needle and we all know how Jack feels about needles! Would be cool if you feel like R&Ring :)