Author: Starbuck
Rating PG13
Disclaimer: We all know the drill...Chris Carter...blah blah blah
Spoilers: All Things (Air date: 4/09/00)
Summary: What may have happened after 'All things'.
Scully file: Thanks for a great birthday!
Archive....by permission only.
Further credits given at the end......
there is nothing left to be done
no people to be saved
no pets we've never named
40 miles from the sun
as darkness CRAVES the mind
we come undone without our pride
no time on earth to come
all the pleasures just begun
40 miles from the sun
(the faucet drips....matching the beat of a woman's heart)
Scully looked at herself in the mirror. For the first time in her entire adulthood she didn't see what she had given up. Rather she saw all that she had been given. For a moment Scully stopped thinking things through to their end. Instead, she thought of nothing more than where she was, what she was doing, and the man that she was with. A man that opened up so many worlds to her in their years together as partners.
Scully finished dressing and slowly stepped out of the bathroom that was adjacent to Mulder's bedroom. She stopped at the doorway and looked back over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror. Scully smiled at what she saw. A woman who didn't have any regrets. A woman who had a life to live here in the present.
Scully crept quietly by the bed as to not wake the sleeping man still snuggled beneath its covers. She knew that there was a lot that was going to need to be talked about after tonight. She had left a note on his bedside table saying that she was going back to the small buddhist temple she had found the day before. If he wanted to he could come find her there. She needed to think and being there brought her peace, clarity. Though she now felt more comfortable in her own skin than she had ever felt before, she also knew that what lay before for her would take an incredible amount of strength. It was one thing to not fear the road ahead. Another to not admit to yourself that it is there. Scully grabbed the remainder of her things and headed for the door.
Scully got in her car and started the engine. She turned on the radio but kept the volume low. She turned her car towards the street that would take her to the temple. All the way there she wondered what signs were being shown to her. So often she had missed them. Now she saw them everywhere.
At the stoplight she saw a young girl riding her bicycle up and down the sidewalk with her father nearby. The girl apparently was riding without her training wheels for the first time. She fell a few times and when she cried, her father was there to comfort her and encourage her to try again. Scully felt very much like the girl without the training wheels. Wanting so much to not be afraid to try again, but deep down the fear lingered. Waiting for an opportunity to get another chance to grip her soul.
Scully was interrupted from these thoughts by the incessant honking of an impatient driver behind her. Embarrassed a little by her act of daydreaming, Scully just made her turn and hoped that she hadn't been sitting there too long.
Scully reached the temple moments later. She once again faced the large cast iron doors. She marked how different it felt for her now. Her first time here she was coming to save the life of a man she once loved so strongly that she had to give up her own dreams to insure that he didn't give up his family to be with her. Instead, she realized that the life she was saving was not his, but her own.
Once inside, Scully saw the buddha looked the same as it had that day. It shined with such a brilliant color of gold that Scully thought it was the most breathtaking thing she had ever seen. The candles that surrounded it remained lit as they had before, casting a glow about the tiny room. Small offerings of patrons before her were scattered across the floor before it. Scully kneeled down to look at what others had left there in gratitude. Some left money in varying amounts, from pennies to twenty dollar bills. There was also small photo of a young couple. Scully could tell from its condition that it was held by its owner quite often as the ends of it had been tattered and torn.
Scully put the photo back where she found it. She leaned back and closed her eyes. She took in all the sounds and smells around her. She heard the tiny repetitive sounds of a wind chime. She breathed in deeply, taking in the smell of incense deep into her lungs.
"Scully? It's me."
"Mulder, I was wondering if you were going to come."
"You better not tell your mother about this. She might think you are converting to Buddhism."
Scully laughed. "I don't think I am converting Mulder. I do think that a person can love God in more than one way. I never understood that before now."
"So why did you leave this morning?"
"You don't hesitate with the heavy questions, do you?"
"No sense beating around the bush."
"Just needed to think. I needed to clear my head a little before we talked."
"And?"
"I don't know Mulder. So much has happened in the last few days. When I went to your apartment last night I knew that I belonged there, with you. I guess I am not so much afraid or even regretful of what happened, as I am in shock by it all. I needed perspective. Being here before helped me deal with my past and the choices I made then. I thought it would help me face this."
"Face what exactly?"
"Us."
"So, you are admitting there is an 'us'?"
Scully again drew in a deep breath before speaking. "There has always been an 'us' Mulder. We may have called it by other names, covered it up with our own fears and inhibitions, but it has always been there. There is no denying that now."
Mulder reached over and gathered her hand in his. "So, now what?"
"I don't know Mulder. I'm not afraid of it anymore but that doesn't mean I have all the answers."
"Maybe we don't need the answers yet. Maybe we just need to let it happen."
"Do you remember when I told you last night about how I had always thought I made the wrong choice?"
"Yes."
"How did that make you feel?"
"We don't need to talk about that Scully."
"I think there are lots of things we are going to have to talk about Mulder. My relationship with Daniel. Your relationship with Diane. We can't have a future if we don't talk about the past."
"Okay, you're right. I was a bit miffed at first. Here you were coming off what apparently was a spiritual awakening of some sort and you tell me that you thought your work, your life with me, had always felt like a mistake to you. It undermined a lot that we had been through."
"I'm sorry about that Mulder but at the time that is how I felt. I had a picture in my mind since I was a young girl of where I would be by this time in my life. I would be a successful doctor, married to a wonderful man, and have two kids, a picket fence, and a dog running around in the backyard."
"You deserve those things Scully. You should have them. If I have kept you from having them I apologize for that. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own cause that I forget that you have dreams of your own."
"Don't you see Mulder? Those aren't my dreams anymore." Scully paused and then began again. "Those childhood dreams are the same dreams that just about every young girl grows up having in some form or another. We are taught to want the romantic proposal, the large wedding, and the seaside honeymoon. Yet, no one tells us what to do if those things don't happen when we think they should. There's no guidebook to happiness Mulder. It took along time for me to understand that."
"Does this mean you don't want those things anymore?"
"It just means that they don't have to happen by a certain day or time in my life. If they happen, they have to happen when the universe is ready for them to be given to me."
"You should be very proud of yourself Scully. Most people never realize their truth. You have found yours. To be honest, now that the mystery surrounding Samantha's disappearance is over I wasn't sure I'd find mine again."
"And now?"
"My truth was you. I was set upon this road to find you Scully. I was never meant
to find her." Mulder turned to look at the buddha. "The buddha has been around for centuries Scully. Billions of people have kneeled before it looking for some answer to some question that has troubled them. Sometimes they find that answer. Sometimes they just find more questions."
"Sounds familiar."
"Yeah it does, doesn't it?"
"Well Mulder my knees are starting to throb and I don't think we'll be having any visions today."
"You're wrong Scully."
Scully raised her eyebrow at him curiously. "Meaning?"
"I'm seeing it all clearly now", Mulder said in his mock psychic tone.
"Oh shut up Mulder."
"No really Scully I have had a vision."
"Of what?"
"You and me growing old together. You'll still call me Mulder. I'll still call you Scully. We'll sit on the porch of some old folks home waiting for our kids and grand kids to come visit."
"You promise?"
"I promise that and so much more."
"I'll hold you to that Mulder."
"Good, I was hoping you'd say that. C'mon let's go. There is somewhere else we need to go."
"Where?"
"You'll see when we get there. Trust me?"
"With my life."
"Give me your keys, we'll go in your car." Scully grabbed the keys from her pocket and handed them to Mulder.
"Okay, now close your eyes."
Scully laughed. "C'mon Mulder, you know I hate surprises."
"No peeking. I'll help you get in the car." Mulder led her to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. "Watch your head."
Mulder ran around to the other side of the car and hopped in.
"Are you ready?" he said as he started the car.
"Ready as I'll ever be."A few moments later.....
"We're here. You can open your eyes now. Turn to your right and see what I want to promise to you."
Scully opened her eyes slowly to the bright light of the afternoon sun. Once her eyes adjusted she gasped at the sight that was before her. "Mulder, what is this? What's going on?"
"I saw this house a few months ago. I thought it would be nice for a family to live in. After last night I remembered it and called the realtor this morning to see if it was still available. When they told me it was still for sale I put a bid in. The paper work will take a few weeks but that's okay. I figure it will take that long to calm Skinner down." Mulder smiled at Scully's apparent surprise and then tapped her arm. "See, white picket fence and everything."
"Mulder..."
"No, wait, I'm not finished. After we talked I knew that I was supposed to have this house. For years I knew how I felt about you but it wasn't until last night that I realized you had the same fears about it that I did. I know we have a lot about our pasts to talk through yet, but I can't see there being anything to keep us apart now."
"What about the FBI?"
"What about it? You want to go into private practice and I think that now is the time for you to do that. Now that Samantha's death is solved I don't feel the need to be there anymore. I can stay or go it doesn't matter. I can still chase aliens and fight conspiracies from the comfort of home...our home."
"Don't you think we are jumping ahead of ourselves."
"Not at all. If anything we have wasted too much time already." Mulder got out of the car and Scully followed suit. "Go look in the mailbox."
Scully went over to the small, white mailbox that was at the foot of the driveway. She opened it and found a small velvet box wrapped with a tiny red ribbon. Scully closed the mailbox and turned to Mulder. "Is that what I think it is?"
Mulder chuckled under his breath. "I don't know. Open it and find out."
Scully again opened the mailbox and reached for the jewelry box. She opened it and found a sizable diamond inside. "Mulder, this is incredible."
"So are you." Mulder looked up at the house. "The ring was my mother's."
"I don't know what to say."
"Yes would be a good start."
Scully touched the ring with her finger. Mulder walked over to her and took the ring from the box and placed the ring on her left hand. "Say yes to all those dreams Scully. Say yes to me and by all means say yes to us growing old together."
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes."
Mulder grabbed Scully and embraced her. "You have made my dream come true Scully."
"Mulder we have done that for each other."
"Are you sure about this. I mean really sure?"
"Yes, I am sure."
"Wow, technically we have only been together 14 hours and already we have gotten engaged and own a house with a white picket fence. Not bad for a day's work."
"Just one thing is missing."
"What's that?"
"Where's the dog?"
"You can't be serious."
"I am deadly serious."
"Oh really, prove it." Mulder began chasing Scully around the front yard. Both laughing and smiling as they played like children. Knowing that no matter what lay ahead them that this is where they were meant to be.(somewhere a faucet still drips, a clock ticks, a heart beats)
THE END
Postscript...
Life offers us many choices. Those choices will determine the path we will take to our final destination. Mistakes are just small detours along the way that are meant to teach us a lesson about ourselves and each other. Eventually we will find our road, travel it as far as it will lead us, and where it will take us in the end. Until then we must find faith that where we are right now is where we need to be at this very moment. All that came before was to prepare us for what will soon come to pass. It is true when they say it is not the destination that truly matters. It is all that we encounter along the way.This is dedicated to those I have encountered along my path. I hope to see you there at my road's end. Until then, let's enjoy the ride.
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside
And never go away
Credits:
Opening quote: "40 Miles from the Sun", Bush, The Science of Things
End Quote: "Faceless Man", Creed, Human Clay