Rating: G
Summary: A sequel to 'A Last Resort'.
By: Katrine
Meetings
After Professor Albus Dumbledore hired Gilderoy Lockhart for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, he had been hovering around the school like an annoying fly, pestering everybody about how to properly do things, and boasting about his books, and his many adventures.
Easily most annoyed was Minerva McGonagall. On more than one occasion, Lockhart had been seen walking with her down the hallways saying things like, "You know, Professor, you could improve your transfiguring by swishing you wand like this..." or "Perhaps, Minerva, you should consider saying your s's more crisply when you transfigure. You could read it yourself in Year With the Yetti, where I transfigure that rock into a weapon." These days, McGonagall looked ready to explode.
Lockhart spent all of his free time at Hogwarts, when he wasn't at a book signing or whatever. He waltzed around, giving tips to people when they weren't asked for.
By the time the week after he was hired came along, everyone was in much higher spirits, as in exactly a week, term would start, and they'd have students to talk to, and they wouldn't have to talk with Lockhart so such.
On Wednesday of that week, Professor Snape was cleaning up the dungeons for Potions Class. As he was scrubbing out the cauldrons from tubeworms and caterpillars, in came Gilderoy Lockhart. Snape muttered, "Oh no, here we go."
Lockhart approached the cauldron he was currently cleaning out and said, "Well, hello Severus! Perhaps you could use some tips on how to teach the Second Years their Forgetfulness Concoction!"
"Not today, and most certainly not by you!" Snape replied as...politely as possible.
"Or maybe I could teach you how to be more chippery, like myself!"
"Oh," Snape whispered, "I doubt anybody would like another you around here."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, for one thing, nobody likes you. They don't like you giving out tips, so leave me alone." Snape said angrily, and he started to wonder who he detested the most: Gilderoy Lockhart, or Harry Potter.
"All right Severus, I'll leave you alone, to your work. I am very glad that I'm not a student being taught by you." He flashed a smile. "I'd rather be a student being taught by me!" He haughtily sprang out of Snape's dungeon, leaving Snape foaming at the mouth in anger.
Snape wasn't the only teacher being aggravated by Lockhart's annoying ways. Almost everyone had a complaint about Lockhart.
All the teachers, with the exception of Albus Dumbledore and Gilderoy Lockhart, were sitting in the staffroom the Wednesday of Snape's run in with Lockhart. The topic of discussion: Ways Lockhart had annoyed them, and ways to snipe him off.
Professor McGonagall was storming around the room. "I hate the man. He is so, intruding!" She roared.
"Or cocky." Said Hagrid.
Snape stood up and said, "He waltzed into the dungeon today, trying to give me tips on how to make a Forgetfulness Concoction!"
Professor Binns drawled, sounding rather offended, "He walked right through me yesterday."
Professor Flitwick also had a story to share. "It all happened last Sunday..."
** Professor Flitwick was walking down the Charms Corridor, to get to the charms classroom. He was almost there when he ran into Gilderoy Lockhart. He groaned, wondering how he was going to escape. He couldn't turn around, as that was where Lockhart was coming from. If he kept going foreward, he'd come to the classroom, but it was likely that was where he was going, since the hallway was a dead end.
"Well, well, well, Professor Flitwick! Pleasure meeting you here!" Lockhart said.
Flitwick could think of better things other than 'pleasure' but he didn't voice them.
Instead he replied, "Good morning Gilderoy."
"You know, I could concoct a charm that will make you taller." Lockhart said cheerfully.
"No. I like being short."
"Shorter than the rest of your students? I could fix that with a simple charm."
Flitwick turned around and looked up and Lockhart. "So coluld I, if I wanted to." He walked past Lockhart, and went back downstairs to the Great Hall. He could only pray that Lockhart wasn't following. Fortunately, he wasn't.**
"Yes! That is exactly what he does to me!" McGonagall said after Flitwick was finished with his story.
"Now. We shall think of ways to rid of him." Snape said icily.
Everyone laughed at that. McGonagall said, "Wouldn't that be fun. If it weren't illegal to kill people."
"We could get him fired." Suggested Professor Vectra of Arithmancy.
"Or, we could ignore him." Said Flitwick
"That would be the ideal solution...if he weren't so annoying." Replied McGonagall.
Suddenly, the staffroom door burst open. There stood Gilderoy Lockhart. "I'm sorry, an autograph session. Am I missing anything? You know, I could run the meeting, I've always been good at that."
"Actually, Gilderoy, this meeting is over. You can run meeting with yourself, if you'd like." Said Snape with a twisted smile.
At that statement, everybody rose from their seats and walked out of the room, leaving Lockhart to eat their dust. As they left, Hagrid muttered to McGonagall, "I shoulda knocked his brains out when ah had the chance. If he even gots any brains. Heheh."
Even after the meeting, they still had a whole year with Lockhart. Every week after that, they countinued to have meetings about Lockhart. They called themselves the 'Lockhart Hate Society', and for a good reason, too.
THE END
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