Last Day On Earth
"Come on, we've gotta go. We have to go."
Michonne can barely recognize the sound of her own voice. She throws her arm underneath Rick's, draping his long limb around her shoulders before she struggles to stand him up. He coughs violently, trying to force air into his lungs. He spits out a mouthful of blood but doesn't feel the burning pain of his split lip. His left eye is nearly swollen shut, his hair matted to his forehead, blood, dirt, and sweat tangling with his once soft, slicked back curls. Negan did a number on him, just to rub it in. Michonne's eyes jerk around her circle of friends, counting them all to make sure they are all still there.
Daryl is pale, he's lost a lot of blood. Maggie is beside herself, clinging to Glenn's lifeless body as she wails into his chest. She's crying so hard she can barely breath. Rosita's eyes are transfixed on something in the distance as she sits motionless, one stray tear slipping down her cheek. Sasha is buried into Abraham's chest as Aaron rubs his hand slowly over the puking Eugene's back. And then there's Carl. He stands on the other side of his father, letting him lean most of his weight on him as he stares down the road that Negan and the Saviors took off on. His stare is deafening but cold as ice, scared but vengeful. Angry but sad. His blue eyes are full of rage but a misleading stillness dances within them. But she can't worry about what that means now. She has to get them home.
"Carl," she says softly, watching him carefully as he pulls his eyes towards her, "The RV."
He nods and helps her walk his dazed father to the vehicle, sitting him in the backseat before they return to the rest of their demoralized family. Carl goes to Rosita, Michonne to Maggie as Abraham lifts the sobbing Sasha from her feet and carries her to the safety of the RV. Michonne's hand quivers as she reaches out toward her friend.
"Maggie," she starts as she rests her hand on Maggie's back, "We need to go. We have to get you to Hilltop."
"I'm not leaving him," Maggie sobs, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt in her small hands, "We have to get him home Michonne."
"Maggie-"
"No! I'm not leaving him! I'm not leaving him here!" She screams, her voice just as unrecognizable as Michonne's as it drips with exhaustion and sadness, "I'm not leaving him alone." She whispers before she hangs her head and lets the sobs rack her body again.
Michonne glances back at Carl, who stands a few feet away. He removes his plaid shirt and moves towards the women, draping it over Glenn's bashed skull. "We can put him in the back, on the bed."
Michonne sighs heavily as she nods in agreement, "Let's get her inside first."
"No." Maggie grunts defiantly as she stands on her shaky legs.
She nearly crumbles back to the ground but Michonne grabs her quickly, steadying the grieving wife. After a few seconds, Michonne releases her grip once Maggie gives the signal, then kneels at Glenn's body once more. She and Carl lift his incredibly heavy corpse, Michonne having to swallow harshly as the smell of blood and flesh invades her senses. Maggie drags her feet behind them, wrapping her arms around her waist as they move toward the quiet RV. No one looks up as Michonne and Carl carry their fallen soldier to the back. They keep their stares on their feet as Maggie trudges in behind them, curling up on the bed beside his body.
Michonne and Carl retreat just as quickly as they entered the small room to see Abraham back at the wheel, "Where to?" He grumbles.
"Hilltop. We can't lose her too." Michonne pipes up, resting all of her weight against the front passengers seat, "Carl?"
"Yeah?"
"Sit up here with him?"
"What about dad?"
They both glance back at Rick as he continues his dead stare at the wall. His bloody hands tremble as his chest rises and falls softly. He blinks every so often but his gaze never wavers, "I'll sit with him." She answers after a moment.
Truth is, she doesn't want Carl to see his father like this, not again. They've been through so much pain, loss, tears, insanity... He shouldn't have to see it etched on his father's face time and time and time again. So she plants herself right next to Rick as Carl falls into the passenger's seat. She grabs Rick's hand in one of hers and gently rubs her digits along his red tinted skin, but he doesn't move. He doesn't jerk away, he doesn't look at her, it's like she's not even there. The ride to Hilltop is deathly silent. It takes thirty minutes to convince Maggie to stay with the Doctor, that they'd keep Glenn safe until she came home.
No words are exchanged as they pull back into Alexandria. Gabriel, Spencer, and Tara spout off questions like rapid fire as they take in the sight of the broken warriors. Only when Michonne and Carl emerge with the body, do the questions stop. They bow their heads as the two pass by, Tara's hand flying to her mouth as her eyes fill with tears. Aaron and Eugene follow close behind, grabbing shovels and starting to dig with no orders to do so. A proper burial. That's what Glenn deserves.
Michonne and Carl return to the RV where Rick still sits, staring. She catches Abraham's' eye and he nods, whispering to Sasha before gently approaching his rattled leader. They lift him, Michonne and Abraham, usher him into the house, their house, and get him into the bathroom. She thanks her red headed friend and soon he's gone to attend to his own household. She turns to Carl, hands on her hips, unsure of what exactly to do.
"Are you okay?" She says barely above a whisper, her voice trembling ever so lightly.
He nods, "Yeah."
"Are you hungry or, you want something to drink? You feeling okay?"
"I'm okay, Michonne." He reassures her. She nods quickly, averting her eyes from him as she looks around the room, "I'll get Judy from Gabriel."
He turns but she stops him with a gentle hand on the shoulder, "Maybe we shouldn't. Not with," she trails off but her eyes head toward the stairs, not knowing how the noise of a toddler will affect his father.
"I'll keep her quiet. I just wanna hold her."
He needs the touch of his baby sister, the innocent smell of her to calm his nerves. She nods again and is about to climb the stairs when his body stops her. He hugs her tightly, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. They don't move for a while, they just stand in the middle of the living room, tangled in a tight embrace. He closes his eyes as he hugs her, silently thanking God that Negan didn't choose her. Michonne 's eyes flutter, but she refuses to let a tear fall free, she can't, not right now. She has to stay strong for them, she just has to. They finally break apart and she takes his beautiful face into her hands, rubbing his cheeks with her thumbs, "Please eat something. Take a shower and lay down, you need to rest. Okay? Please."
He nods, casting his eyes down as she plants a kiss on his forehead. She watches him as he leaves, glancing at the clock on the wall to track how long it takes him to get home. She's not losing anyone else. Never again. She turns and heads for the stairs, making her way quickly into the bathroom where she left him. He's sank to the floor, his head in his hands as he mumbles to himself, his hands still shaking. She ambles toward the bath, starting the water and running her hands through it to check the temperature before she plugs the drain. She then moves towards him, kneeling down as her fingers caress his damp hair. She whispers to him softly, encouraging him to stand so she can remove his blood stained clothing. He complies, letting her help him up and undress him before she leads him to the tub.
She holds his hand as he steps into the warmth, sinking down into the water until his chin dips just beneath the water line. Michonne removes just her pants, slipping her legs on either side of him and into the water. She grabs the shampoo and begins to lather it into his soft curls, watching as the blood and dirt drips from the ends, staining the once clear water. If this were a different day, a different time, he'd sink back into her, letting his head lull slightly as he groans happily as she massages his head. They'd talk quietly among each other as they took turns bathing one another, Michonne laughing at one of his many corny jokes. But today's not that day. He just continues to stare at the wall, his eyes welling up with tears as they spill over on to his cheek.
She works her hands down his neck and back, her mind racing a million miles an hour as he mumbles apologies to thin air. What are they going to do now? How are they supposed to live now? Just yesterday they were lounging around in bed, making love in the wee hours of the morning, without a care in the world. Now? Now they have nothing. They have no sanctuary, no safety, no food, no medicine, no peace of mind, no Glenn. They have nothing.
Rick's talking brings her back into the present. She stares down at her broken man. He sits motionless, staring at the goddamn wall, blinking slowly, talking aimlessly to his ghosts. This is the prison all over again. His fleeting visions of Lori are now replaced by Glenn, blood streaming down his face as he stares back at Rick.
"I'm sorry," he mutters, his words slurred, "I'm sorry."
But Glenn never speaks, he just stares back at Rick, his face pale, his head split open, blood dripping in his eyes. Michonne sighs loudly, turning her head as she closes her eyes to try and keep her composure. She's losing him. He's slipping away right in front of her, closing himself up into a gaping hole of despair. How is he supposed to look them in the eye? How is he supposed to get them to go to war for him, with him, when he can't keep them safe anymore? They won't trust him. They can't. How can they?
No. She won't let them turn away. That's exactly what Negan wants but he's not going to get it. He can take their food, their clothes, their medicine, he can threaten them all he wants but he cannot, he will not break them. She won't let that happen. She'll do whatever she has to, wait as long as she needs to, until Rick is ready and he'll rule them again. They'll stand together against their new enemy and they'll win, because they don't die.
"We'll get through this," she offers in a hushed tone, resting her lips on the top of his wet head. She kisses the top of his head, over and over and over again as she strokes his cheeks with her soft hands, "The world needs Rick Grimes. We'll get through this, I promise you."
He doesn't respond but she doesn't expect him to. She kisses him one last time before sighing heavily again. God, she's losing him. She losing her blue eyed boy. She turns slightly, about to step out of the tub when he grabs her hand suddenly, squeezing her fingers.
I'm still here.
Only then does she break. Only then, does she let the tears fall.