Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto! It's owned by the amazing Masashi Kishimoto. If I owned it there'd be heaps more KakaIru moments so I could get the sceptics to zip their mouths =P

Warning: This fanfic was made during a moment of boredom and procrastination. It'll only have two chapters so it's a short one... Just to amuse myself a bit and to dawdle before I get into my report... *sigh*

The Innocent Letter

Chapter 1/2

"Iruka-sensei," Ebisu called out as he approached Iruka at the mission desk. The brunet Chuunin looked up at him with a kind smile that the Tokubetsu Jounin rarely saw due to his infamous uptight personality. Of course, Iruka was different; Iruka was kind to everybody – well-mannered, polite, generous, nurturing, compassionate, strict, fiery, mischievous, cunning, merciless, ruthless, terrifying-

Sweat began pouring off Ebisu in waves as his steps slowed down considerably before a shaking hand grasping a letter was held out to the Academy sensei.

Iruka's head tilted to the side in question quite adorably. But it was not the time for Ebisu to be thinking about that.

"What is this, Ebisu-sensei?" he asked politely as he reached for the seemingly innocent folded piece of paper. Just as he was about to grasp it, Ebisu suddenly shifted his hand to the right. Iruka's hand followed. Then Ebisu's hand shifted to the left. Iruka's hand followed. Then Ebisu's hand shifted higher. Iruka's hand followed. Then Ebisu's hand shifted downwards- Damn!

"Really, Ebisu-sensei," Iruka said good-naturedly with a grin as he calmly unfolded the piece of paper in his hands. "Teasing me like that."

Ebisu scratched his head sheepishly. "Well, now that that's done, I'll just-"

"Plant your feet," was the seemingly flippant command. But Ebisu stiffened instantly, the sweat becoming more intense, and suddenly, all eyes in the Missions Room turned to the pony-tailed sensei and the mysterious paper in his hand.

Uncontrolled anxiety filled the Missions Room to the point that it seemed the occupants could not breathe and everyone waited silently and in dread as the normally beloved Chuunin read the contents of the note.

Iruka, as though he was alone at the comforts of his home, was reading the note out loud with fondness in his tone when he saw who the letter came from.

"'Dear Iruka-sensei'," he read, his face splitting into a grin as he recognized his favourite former student, Naruto's, nearly illegible handwriting.

"'How are 'ya? If you want to know how I am, I'll let you know that I'm absolutely awesome as usual! Believe it! I kicked ass as always and even Kakashi-sensei had to go all out in our training just to keep up with me! But that's not the reason I'm writing! You won't be able to guess but I got back at Konoha today!'" Iruka's grin widened. "Oh Naruto, you could've just gone straight to me instead of handing me a letter.

"'I wanted to see you really, really badly so that I can have a hundred bowls of ramen with you to celebrate my return and the success of my training!' From my pocket, I'm supposing? Haha, you are such a brat.

"'But Kakashi-sensei told me that we had - and I quote – "more important matters to attend to"-'" Iruka's eyes narrowed at the implications of the Jounin's words. "More important"? Kakashi, that bastard! Why I ought to-

But he would give the older Jounin a piece of his mind later. Iruka took a deep breath to calm himself down before he kept on reading. "'Can you believe it? As if there's anything more important than seeing you, Iruka-sensei!'" Iruka's heart warmed greatly at the words. "Oh Naruto, you are such a good boy." Then his scowl returned. Damn Kakashi!

"'But Kakashi-sensei said that, now that I'm a very healthy and virile – what does that mean? – young man, I should be – and I quote again – "enlightened about the joys, pleasures and absolute delights of the wonderful and awe-inspiring next stage of my extraordinary and special life called manhood". Huh, right?'"

Terrified gasps filled the Missions Room as Iruka Umino suddenly halted in his reading. The safest option was to probably run away screaming for salvation at the first sign but much like in a train wreck where one helplessly watches as the 500 tonne train turns the poor drunk bloke who tripped on the tracks into nothing but minced flesh, blood and gory entrails – which is probably what they'll end up as if the Chuunin read more of the letter – the occupants of the Missions Room could not seem to pull themselves from the scene.

"This better not be going where I think it's going," Iruka hissed lowly as he shifted his gaze to the next sentence.

"'Well, I don't know what he's really up to but he's my sensei so I have to follow him even though I'd rather see you. I mean, wherever he wants to go can't be worse than the places Ero-sennin has taken me to, right? It's just going to be right at the next village where it has this famous... red... light... district...' ..."

Red...

Light...

District...

"..."

"..."

"..."

Ebisu nearly peed his pants – and he was absolutely certain that it was not him alone – as the Missions Room suddenly developed a hellish red glow as the infuriated Chuunin crackled with an intense, burning fire.

He roared six syllables that shook the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

"KA-KA-SHI HA-TA-KE!"