He wasn't so sure at first. He didn't know if he really wanted to tell someone everything he's concealed from students and teachers in order to protect his mother. His mother was his whole world, he was only happy when she was happy. It worked vice versa.

"Mikael." He looked up from his hands that sat on his lap.

The man that sat opposite was the registered school provided therapist. Mikael wasn't ordered to go see him, he wanted to. He wanted to speak to someone about what he's been holding.

"You asked your tutor to set this meeting up and you're just sat there in silence. Are you sure you want to be here?" His voice was soft and sentimental, he was here to help young teenagers and a lot of them don't want to be in this room with him. But Mikael did.

"I'm just trying to find the right words." Mikael wasn't so good with words, he had to plan it in his head first. He didn't want to say the wrong thing ever and accidentally emotionally hurt someone.

He never wanted that. "Deep breath, say whatever comes to mind."

Mikael did just that, after a deep breath and after a few short seconds he found his voice. "I want to see my father."

"Why can't you?" The therapist proved gently. "Are your parents divorced?" He added.

Mikael shook his head. "I've never met him."

"Have you asked your mother about him at all?" The therapist queried.

Mikael shook his head again. "No, I haven't. I've never mentioned him to my mother, but I know when she thinks of him. She gets really sad and watches the news."

"If you ever want to see or speak to your father then you will have to ask your mother about him." Mikael knew that but he didn't want to see those sad eyes on his mother again, he hated every second of it.

"I don't want to make her cry or get sad."

The therapist looked at him, a gentle smile grew across his face. "I hope you'll be able to find your father but be cautious, there may be a reason that he isn't in your life."

Mikael's jaw clenched. "You think he hurt my mother?"

He sighed. "No, I don't but that scenario is very common in this area. I've had many cases of domestic abuse from the father to the mother, and the kids."

The therapist straightened up in his seat. "You're a very smart boy, your tutor gave me your file. Your grades are amazing, you do all your work, every piece of homework is in on time or earlier. All I'm saying is that you have a very bright future ahead of you, don't stray away from it."

Mikael nodded, taking in every word that he said but he was more than sure that there is more to the story about his mother and his father. "Thank you for your time."

"I have more time with you if you would like to talk about anything else that may be bothering you? Like your lack of friends, or the fact that you sneak out of school during your lunch period but return for the rest of your classes." Mikael stayed completely silent as that came out. He didn't think anyone would notice that he didn't have any friends, he thought he didn't need any as he had his mother.

She was his best friend and that's all he thought he needed. As for leaving for lunch, he would go the diner into town where his mother works. She is the head waitress, practically the manager, of the diner and he was always welcome by the other waiters and waitresses ever since he could remember. They would sit with him on their break and talk to him, help him with his homework and give him his favourite milkshakes.

Maybe, the therapist was right, that he did need friends but right now his main focus was his father. He doesn't even know where to start. He doesn't even know his name. He was thinking he could do what happens in those sappy movies where the woman and the man reunite in a passionate embrace. He wanted his family to be whole.

He doesn't want his mother to find out, but he does need his name, what he looks like and his age. Mikael wasn't so sure that he could get all of that without his mother finding out or checking the history on their shared computer in the living room.

He wasn't sure why this was so important to him, but it was.

What if it all made things worse and he was an asshole that hurt his mother? What if it was his fantasy he's played for years in his head? What if his father is a really good guy but his mother was just too afraid? Or something happened? So many of these scenarios played in his head and one of them were true.

But even he was too afraid of hurting his mother by asking her for the truth.

He read once that the truth doesn't always make everything right but what if it did?

What if finding his father didn't fuck everything up but fixed everything? Fixed him? Fixed his mother?

"Mikael?" He was suddenly taken out of his head and back to devasting reality.

His brow furrowed. "Sorry?"

"Are you listening?" The therapist asked, he looked concerned and that he cared but this is his job and he might even care but even he himself didn't know what was going on inside his head.

He blinked, readjusting himself and clearing his throat. "Yes, sorry. Can I have another appointment for next week?"

The therapist nodded and closed the folder on his lap. "I'll write one up and inform your tutor when your next appointment will be, she will tell you in person or make a call home." Mikael hoped that his tutor wouldn't call home because then his mother would know that he made the choice to see am in-school therapist and he didn't want to have that conversation right now.

He just knew that his reasons would make her sad and worry even more about him. He can see that she doubts herself a lot, but she is and always will be an amazing mother to him. Mikael realises that he needs to tell her that more often.

"Thank you." Mikael got up, slinging his bag around his shoulders and headed out the door and into the hallway.

It was the end of the school day, he has missed the buses and his mother was working so he headed out the corridor and out the main entranceway to the school. He started taking the long way home, he needed the time to listen to his music and think about how he was going to go about finding his father.

He thought deeply as he walked home. He thought about how his mother gets sad, cries silently and watches the news which isn't even a happy outlet, so he's confused by that. When he was younger and had nightmares, he would sleep in his mother's bed, clinging to her body and her safety. She was so strong, and he was so scared, he truly does love and appreciate every little thing she did and does for him on the daily.

He does remember a deep burgundy wooden box underneath her bed when they placed hide and seek together. He tried to open it once, but it was locked. Mikael vaguely remembers asking her about it and she shrugged it off, only saying it was just jewellery and knickknacks. He's not sure she was telling the whole truth now.

There was something in that box of hers, but he would need to find that key to open the damned box first.

He would be able to locate the key first while she's on shift right now, but he wouldn't want to risk being caught and opening it as soon as he found it. She has a night shift tomorrow, so he'll do it then, it's the weekend after all. He's allowed to stay up late on Fridays and Saturdays.

He walked up the front door and unlocked it, closing it behind him, he ditched his shoes and went straight up to his bedroom. He dropped his bag and jacket on his bed and headed out.

Walking to his mother's bedroom, his hand grasped the handle and he took a deep breath. Now or never, he thought and turned the handle, opening the door to her bedroom. He took a step in and was reminded of her warmth. He thought of where she would put and hide a key.

He dropped to the floor and checked under her bed. Only the door, a few dust bunnies and an odd sock long forgotten. Mikael shot up and went to her vanity, looking through all the little draws that held her rings, necklaces and hair ties. It wasn't there.

He moved towards her dresser, checking those draws thoroughly. He felt entirely awkward as he did but he was disappointed.

No key.

Mikael walked into her ensuite bathroom and checked the cabinet, it held pain killers, tampons, toothpaste and no key anywhere.

He sighed, defeated. "This is hopeless." He turned and froze, staring at her full-length mirror and more importantly what was hanging on the edge of it.

It was in front of him and in plain sight. Mikael smiled and shook his head, she was smart. He walked over to the mirror to take it but paused. If he took it and she knew it was gone, she would know that she took it.

He sighed, at least he knew where exactly it was, and it wasn't going anywhere.

He left her bedroom and closed the door behind him, his phone buzzed his pocket. He pulled out his phone and looked at the notification and smiled.

Mum: I'll be home in 5 minutes, I picked you up your fav snack from AJ's!

He loved her, so much.

Mikael walked back to his bedroom and changed out of his school clothes and got into more comfortable ones to lounge around in while he waited for his mum to get home. He walked downstairs and sat on the sofa, turning on the TV to Criminal Minds, it was always on before she got home.

The front door opened, and he could smell his favourite treat a mile away. He smiled brightly as his mother came in still dressed in her waitress outfit. She smiled lovingly at her son. "Hi, sweetheart, how was school?"

She walked to the dining table and set her bags down before turning to him. "Normal, how was work?"

She laughed, taking his treat from out the bag. "Every day is different and always interesting, today, this couple showed up and they looked like a totally normal couple, after they ordered, they started to argue and then practically started to have sex on the table."

He blinked and cocked his head, he was glad he was not there to witness that, but he grinned when Kiera handed over bag that held his favourite dessert, double chocolate chip cookie straight out the oven. "Enjoy, honey. I had to fight Mina over it."

Face stuffed with cookie, he thanked her. "Love you, mama." Kiera looked at him and smiled happily, he looked just like he did when he was just under knee height. So cute and adorable, he still is but now she must add handsome or he gets embarrassed. Still cute.

He made her happy, and vice versa.

But there was something or rather someone missing from this picture, and he needed to find out why - and was it because of him?