Simon vs the Indecisive Heart

Summary: What if the Simon had taken a different course of action when Martin made his initial threat? How different would things have been if he didn't have the threat of being outed looming over his head?

Chapter One: I Wanna See You Be Brave

Simon was in a daze and had been since his conversation with Martin during play rehearsal earlier that afternoon. He just couldn't get the threat out of his head and he didn't know what to do either. As far as he could see in his current state of mind Simon felt he had only two options, he could not help Martin and be forced out the closet possibly losing his growing relationship with Blue or he could help Martin and risk ruining his friendship with Abby if she ever found out but would allow him to keep his and Blue's secret safe until they where ready for the entire world to know.

Neither seemed like a particularly good choice but option two meant he wouldn't have to lose Blue, but it also meant there was a chance of losing Abby his newest friend who he felt just as strongly about as he did Nick and Leah. Nick, who was so obviously in love with Abby would also be a possible casualty of helping Martian.

"Fuck!" Simon shouted out in frustration as he slammed his hand into his steering wheel again accidently honking his horn.

Simon was rubbing the angry tears from his eyes when someone knocked on his window causing him to jump at the unexpected noise. Looking up Simon found himself looking at the worried face of Abby Suso standing outside his window brown eyes looking at him with concern. Simon lowered the window and plastered a smile on his face.

"Hey Abby." Simon said praying she wouldn't comment on his current state.

"You okay Si?" Abby asked clearly not buying his act.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good, just fine." Simon said trying his best to keep his feelings hidden.

"Most people don't attack their steering wheel when everything is fine." she said with a small smile.

Simon swallowed and turned his head so he was looking out through his front windshield and away from Abby. He didn't notice the other teen walk around his car until she was sitting in the passenger seat. Abby looked at Simon and placed a hand on his shoulder her worried brown eyes seeking his.

"What's wrong Si?" Abby asked only for Simon to shake his head.

"Si, I know something is bothering you so please talk to me." Abby said her worry clear in her voice as she lifted his head forcing him to look at her.

Simon couldn't help it he was crying and it wasn't the silent tears he had imagined he would shed when he finally came out to his friends. No, these where the ugly, snot running out your nose as you gasp for air kind of tears and the water works had clearly taken Abby by surprise because she looked lost for a moment before pulling Simon into a hug. Simon didn't know how long they sat like this but he was glad Abby was there.

"Okay Si, now you really need to tell me what's going on with you." Abby said when Simon pulled away and wiped his eyes.

Simon stared at the palms of his hands and took a deep shuddering breath and before he knew it, he was telling Abby everything that had occurred since had first learned about Blue. Abby for her part just listened and didn't show any kind of negative reaction to learning he was gay in fact it was only when she learned exactly what Martin wanted in exchange for keeping his secrets that she showed any kind of emotion.

"That little shit! I am not some piece of meat he can request on a platter!" She snapped.

"All of that and that's what you comment on?" Simon asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah, I mean no offence Simon but you being gay doesn't change anything. You're still one of my best friends. That being said we have to do something about him blackmailing you." Abby said.

"What can I possibly do to stop him Abby? I wouldn't be sitting in my car freaking out if I knew how to get him off my back." Simon said clearly frustrated with the situation.

"You said Martin has a gay brother, right?" Abby asked.

"Yeah but he's not around Abby he went off to college. How would that help anyway?" Simon asked confused.

Abby just smiled wide as she looked Simon right in the eyes.

"We don't need to talk to his brother we need to talk to his mother."

Simon looked at Abby as if she had suddenly sprouted three extra heads for even suggesting they go to Mrs. Addison for help. Simon didn't know the woman but he knew she was a gossip and it would only be a matter of time before everyone knew his secret and he lost Blue forever.

"No way she's the town gossip my secret would be out even faster."

Abby shook her head. "No, Martin's mom would have empathy she knows what her son went through just coming out of the closet and when she finds out her son if trying to force someone to do the same so he can get in my pants she's going to rip him a new one…I hope."

"You hope! Abby, we can't run and tell someone about this and hope they will help and keep my secret." Simon snapped.

Abby grabbed Simon by the shoulders and looked him in the eye.

"Trust me?" She asked.

"Yeah." Simon nodded.

"Then let's go. Martin should be at his swim lessons by now, and we can talk to his mother before he gets home." Abby said.

Sooner than Simon would have liked he and Abby had arrived at the Addison home. Simon couldn't help but fidget as Abby knocked on the door and waited until an older brown-haired woman answered the door.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She asked with a smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Addison I'm Abigail Suso and this is Simon Spier we know Martin." Abby said when Simon wouldn't speak.

Mrs. Addison smiled as she stepped aside to let them into the house.

"Well come in you can wait for Martin inside." She said politely

Abby dragged Simon into the home even as she spoke. "Actually, we wanted to talk to you about something."

"To me? Is their something wrong with my Martin?" She asked suddenly worried.

"No, it's what he's doing that's wrong." Abby said.

Mrs. Addison looked between the two of them a frown replacing the smile she had once worn.

"What is Martin doing?" She asked seriously.

Abby looked at Simon begging him to speak and Simon knew it was his story to tell and so he took a deep breath and spoke.

"He's blackmailing me. He read some of my emails to a…friend and took screenshots. He's threatening to show everyone in school if I don't help him "Win" Abby." Simon said.

"What could be so serious that you wouldn't want shared with your classmates?" Mrs. Addison said.

Abby squeezed his hand in support as Simon opened his mouth and explained.

"I'm gay. The emails where between me and another boy. Nobody else knows about this not even my parents and I'm not ready for this but his actions are taking the decision out of my hands."

Mrs. Addison looked like she had been slapped her face was slightly red and her eyes kept looking between the two of them. She stood and walked out of the room without a word and Simon looked at Abby worriedly. The two waited the ten minutes it took her to return to the living room and retake her seat. She looked at Simon and reached out to take his hands in her own.

"Thank you for coming to me about this. I understand how hard that must have been, after all I have a reputation as the Town gossip. However, your secret if safe with me and I will be having words with Martin. After all his brother went through, to do this to someone is unbelievable. I'm sorry he put you in this position dear." She said sincerely the shame she felt for her son's actions clearly written on her face.

"Thank you." Simon said.

Simon and Abby left the Addison home before Martin had returned with a promise to themselves to never set foot within its walls ever again. Once they were on their way toward Abby's home she turned to Simon with a small smile.

"Thank you." She says.

"Thank you?" Simon questioned his confusion clear on his face.

"For trusting me Si. You didn't have to tell me your secret but you did so thank you for trusting me." She said with a small smile as she gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad I told you Abby, but… can we keep this between us for a little longer I'm not really ready for anyone else to know just yet." Simon said his eyes never leaving the road.

"I promise Simon, I won't tell anyone." Abby said with a smile.

"Thank you." Simon said quietly.

"I love you Si." Abby said quietly.

"I Love you too Abby." Simon said with a smile.

Simon went straight to his room once he got home and went to his laptop, he was eager to see if he had received an email from Blue. He also wanted to tell Blue about Martin but until he was sure the entire issue with Martin was dealt with, he wouldn't risk losing him so he decided to tell him about his coming out to Abby.

FROM: frommywindow1

TO: bluegreen118

DATE: Oct. 17 at 10:51 PM

SUBJECT: It's been a long day

Blue,

I did it, I told someone my secret. I must confess that it involved me sobbing in the ugliest way possible as I did it. My friend was very understanding they just looked at me and told me I was still their best friend. I don't know what I would do without them or you for that matter. Like I said, today has been a long day and it's made me realize just how much I rely on you to get through my day so if I haven't said it before, thank you Blue for listening.

Jacques

FROM: bluegreen118

TO: frommywindow1

DATE: Oct. 17 at 11:01 PM

SUBJECT: Re: It's been a long day

Jacques,

I'm happy for you, and I'm glad your friend was so understanding and was there for you when you needed them most. I hope that when I'm finally ready to share my secret my friends will react in the same fashion. I hope you day has improved since then and you don't have to thank me, you never have to thank me for listening Jacques, I'm happy to do it.

Blue

Simon smiled as he finished reading Blue's replay and settles down on his bed for the night. The day had been emotionally draining and he was ready for some sleep. He fell asleep hoping that Mrs. Addison kept her word and that things with Martin would be dealt with when he woke up tomorrow.

To Be Continued…

A/N: This story will be a combination of the film and book this being said, I found the emails between Jacques and Blue to be extremely difficult to write and so I warn you now not to expect more than a scattered few throughout the story. To those who are waiting for updates to my other stories I promise I am working on them but I'm more invested in this story for the time being.