First Chapter

The small town of Auburn, Alabama is where my life started, and in the small town in Alabama is where it came close to ending. I can remember those two years as clear as I can remember yesterday…

Flashback:

"STOP! STOP! Please let me go!!" I cried out as he smiled the sickening smile that made my hair on the back of my neck stand up on the back of my neck, and goose bumps form all over my body. I was standing face to face with the man that made my life living hell for two years, before my hero came and rescued me. Logan James was the man that degraded me, made me feel like no more than a piece of dirt on his shoe. But worst of all, Logan James was the man that raped and beat me for his own personal pleasure.

Flashback to present:

To this day I still don't know who my hero is that saved me from certain death. Because of Logan James, I am where I am today. In the Mary Children's and Young Adults center. What I forgot to mention was that Logan James killed my parents before coming after me.

I have been staying at the Mary Children's center for a year now. Nobody seems to want a healthy (well kind of) 17 year old girl. All of the couples that visit the facility always seem to want a bouncing baby boy or a toddler that can barely walk. I only have one more year before send me on my own. Where would I go? When I thought nothing could possible get worse it always does.

I was cut of my thoughts by the girl I share a room with, Monica. She like everybody else here hates me.

"Lexi?! Lexi?! Are you listening to what I'm saying?!"

She stood in front of me trying to look menacing. It was nearly impossible for her to even look somewhat mean. She was 13 with Shirley temple blonde ringlet curls and thought she was god's gift to men, a true heartbreaker if you ask me.

"Um sure?" I'm pretty sure that it came out more as a question, but she seem satisfied with my answer and walked out of the room, probably to hang out with her boyfriend of the week.

It's not that I try to be mean and depressing, people just see me that way because of my background and where I come from. I was originally born in New York and was your practical city girl. The big sunglasses, the expensive purses, and my dream car in the driveway every morning. I wasn't spoiled, my parent's just thought that I needed to be treated like the girl that I am. I learned responsibility the hard way and got rewarded for it.

I was one of the most popular girls in school, back when I was happy. I have long curly blonde hair and Kelly green eyes. Lot's of people think that I have a low self esteem, which is not entirely true. I'm confessing that I like the way I look, I'm 5'6 and skinny with some curves, I just feel that I don't deserve to look the way I look. I constantly blame myself for what happened to my parents and my brother. I shouldn't have been listening to music with my door shut tight, I should have had my door open so I would have heard the gun shot and called the cops before it was too late. I could have saved them. I know that I could of and yet I didn't.

I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face, I haven't cried for a while; I left all of my tears in New York when I left the day after my family's funeral. My tears soon turned into sobs, and I found myself crying in the corner. I deserved all of the pain that anybody put on me, but I didn't deserve to cry. My parent's and my brother would want me to move on and be happy. This is extremely hard when I am where I am.

The phone rang, when I stopped my crying. The caller I.D said that it was Maria. Why would she be calling me? Maria worked at the adoption agency, and was one of the few people that were nice to me. I met her when I first came into the center. She was a tall and lanky middle aged woman.

"Hello, This is Lexie speaking."

"Hi Lexie! How have you been sweetie? Are they treating you well?" I smiled at how much her concern affected me.

"Yes ma'am, their treating me quite well. Not to be rude, but may I ask why your calling at such a late hour?" It was now coming up to 8:30 and the stars were twinkling in the sky as if to explain to me how great and promising life could be, if I just put my guard down.

"Actually Alexis dear, I have wonderful news!" I cringed at my full name. It's not that I don't like my full name; it just takes me back to those two horrible years. He would always whisper my full name in my ear as I thrashed in pain and fear of what was surely to come.

"Oh really? What's the good news?" I feigned happiness. I got off the couch and made my way towards the bed. All this stress of what I'm doing when I get out of my current home has really been taking a toll on how well I sleep at night.

"Well honey, I need you to come to my office tonight at about 9:00." Oh no. This could only mean one thing, a foster home! I couldn't do this, not again. Nobody could replace my mom and dad, but whenever I go to a foster home, the foster parents always try to replace them. Maria was sill chattering on the phone while I had my semi-mental breakdown. I interrupted her, my voice shaking slightly.

"I…I can't tonight. I'm um…not feeling well at the moment." I lied straight through my teeth. My family always told me that I was a horrible liar, but I was hoping, no praying that just this once Maria would believe my very badly said lie.

"Oh fine then…Wait! How did you know I was going to place you in a foster home?!" I laughed at her eagerness. She was always trying to put me in a place with a nice family that would love me, all of me. Some just didn't like my attitude, others didn't like my presence, then some of them didn't like my background story. They thought it wasn't good enough to go tell their friends over a round of beers. But whatever, I know that my family will come…maybe.

"Well, anytime you call it's to either to tell Monica to stop making out with her flavor of the week in the janitors closet, or to tell me that I'm going to a new foster home." I chewed on my nails as the line went silent.

"Ok I'll just call the family and reschedule for tomorrow afternoon then." In the background I could hear her fingers typing away on the computer, probably typing an email to the family. I finally gave up, maybe this family would be the one where they wanted me there. Maybe, just maybe I can actually try to be happy and have a positive attitude and not just pretend. But knowing me and how I am, I'm sure that my shyness will take over.

"Ok. I'll come down at about noon. Is that ok?" I played with a string that was hanging off of my bedspread, waiting patiently for her to answer.

"Yes sweetie that will be just dandy. Now you be careful and get some rest so you will feel better and I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Good Night Hun." She hung up before I had the chance to return her pleasantries. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was coming up on 10:00. I crawled underneath my covers thinking about what was to come tomorrow.

I couldn't believe that tomorrow they would probably be shipping me off to another family. I closed my eyes letting sleep over take me thinking one last thought. Maybe I can try to be nice. First impressions count, right?