Comment: This is a continuation of some sort from my other one shot titled 'Spoon'. I suggest reading the said one shot before reading this, because it will make more sense.
Warning: OoC. AU. Real life situation.
I hope you enjoy it. This is written because many said they want to see the continuation. I am not promising happy ending.
They safely passed the immigration. China held his breath, hands sweating and he grabbed the holder of his luggage trolley's handle tight. He took a deep breath and pushed it out, to see the family he never seen since he last came back 7 years ago.
England noticed the discomfort, but all he could do was to pat China on his back. He couldn't provide more comfort, as it would just hurt China's pride and also his dignity to walk out from the airport. And so, they went out.
In the midst of people who came to fetch their loved ones/ business partners/anything else, China searched for faces he remembered from his childhood. They might have changed, yes, but China has the confident that he could recognize their faces—if his parents stayed true to their words and personally fetch him. It has been years, but since they are parents and child, bonded by blood, China knew he would know. So he searched.
England watched as his lover's face change. Initially, he could sense the delight, the hidden excitement on his lover's poker face. But as time goes by and China's head had stopped searching after 30 minutes of looking around and pushing their trolleys everywhere, England could see how China's face darkened in disappointment.
"… I think maybe they are late, Yao. Look, there are so many people, maybe they have a hard time to find parking space in the lot."
China was silent, but he nodded softly. Instead, he pointed out at one of the coffee shops available.
"I'll treat you tea, aru. It's been a long flight."
"Do you want to call them or something? I am bringing my international number; you can use it."
China looked hesitant, before nodding but insisting that they would call after two cups of tea. So they sat and bought the tea, sipped it, and England could see the pathetic attempt of China to actually hold a normal 'happy' conversation. About how he wanted to get England to know his (China's) favourite food. Or favourite hang out place he used to go. Or favourite speciality of his (China's) homeland.
And somehow, England survived through the emotional suffering from trying to hold that fragile tension to make China believed he was still OK.
After two cups of tea, and a lot of conversation, England noticed that they had been there for an hour and a half, before eventually he put his phone silently in front of China. China swallowed hard, and took the phone, slowly dialling the number he hated yet remembered too well.
China bit his lips. The phone rung.
The first ring.
The second ring.
It was like torture.
The third ring was answered by a lady's voice. China spoke in his language, and England could only guess. As China's face grew darker, England kinda knew what was happening.
"So?" England asked once China put off the phone.
China smiled bitterly. "Apparently… they forget the arrival schedule. They are just coming here. They will arrive in another 1 hour, I believe, aru."
"…Right."
"Arthur…" China never sounded so weak—but England was wrong, because apparently, going back home means China getting more vulnerable by each passing time; England didn't knew the future, but he would be getting a lot of weaker side of China—and smiled. "…I know this is ridiculous, and they said they had prepare a room for us, but. But, aru. Can we… just get a hotel room?"
"…You don't want to stay in your house?"
"It's not mine, aru." the golden eyes were wet but no tears come out. China clenched his teeth. "I think this is all a mistake. We should just go back. How about the next available flight back? I'll pay."
"No. We'll stay."
China closed his eyes, pretended he was tired, but England noticed the slight tremor of his hand.
It was pure torture for him. Why should he come back to a place where people who clearly didn't care about whether he was alive or not? He was anticipating the worst, but it was just as hard. He knew it was ridiculous. He was actually happy when searching faces among the crowds. He was hopeful, maybe the smile will greet him, somewhere from the crowds. Maybe his parents did miss him. Well, after all, they did message him first.
Waiting wasn't his forte. Looking at his sad cup of overpriced airport tea, he thought back about the conversation he had with his mother. She sounded apologetic, but cheerful, saying that she will arrive in another hour. Not even an apology. Just a half-assed sorry. It just reinforcing what doubt he had that he worth nothing in front of them. In their minds. And the thought was unbearable. Torture. Why did he ever come?
England's hand travelled across the table and grabbed his hand. China smiled softly.
Well, at least this time he had someone who actually cared… did he?
And the new doubt slipped into his mind. He hated this. He knew England was the best boyfriend ever, the one supportive enough to actually push him to reconcile with the family he thought he had lost. England was so supportive it hurts. He felt like raw meat against sea of boiling oil. He would get hurt, for sure. He had already hurt from the disappointment over a simple late fetch. But the doubt was whispering through his mind that if he looked weak now, then maybe England would leave him. Or if England saw how unimportant he was in front of his own family's eyes, England may look down upon him. Or worse yet, leave him.
"Yao!"
China turned back, to see a woman with a young adult man following her rushing to the coffee shop. China couldn't help but smiled. She was still the same—more lines, more grey hairs—but still, the same. The same image he had in his dream. She was still so pretty.
"…mother."
He stood up and smiled awkwardly when his mother came to hug him. He passively received the hug, realizing how small she had become. She used to be taller than him the last time they met. Now China was a head and neck taller than his mother.
It felt weird.
"How are you? Oh, I missed you, Yao. You look great! I am happy you can make time to come home!"
China smiled. It felt weird. He didn't expect all these warmth and cheerfulness, he was actually expecting awkwardness and coldness between them. Then he saw Japan, nodding with unreadable expression on his face, nodding to him. So China nodded back.
"Oh, we should go! And who is this gentleman, I may ask?"
China suddenly remembered that England was there, waiting for China to introduce him, so he smiled and gestured a welcome hand. "This is Arthur Kirkland, aru…"
His mother smiled warmly at England, and England put out his hand for a shake.
"…my boyfriend."
The words cut through the air, and China saw how it changed everything. His mother's face paled, and instead of receiving England's offer of a handshake, she closed her mouth with both of her hands.
"… don't tell me… you are GAY, Yao?"
China knew it. Something was bond to turn like this. He didn't tell them, yes, but why was she making it such a big deal? So he snapped.
"Yes, I am, mother, and I am proud of it."
"But… But… Yao, come on, my child…" His mother stuttered, trying to conceal her obvious disgust and shock, "this is… SIN!"
China felt like exploding.
"This is NOT a SIN, aru! He is as good as any woman out there and he was more supportive, better than my own family, far better than you!"
The woman he called mother stopped talking and was surprised at her son's sudden burst. And she smiled, but didn't return the handshake offer hanging on the air. England understood his place and took back his hand. He smiled politely.
"My name is Arthur Kirkland, Madam, nice to meet you."
China's mother smiled. England noticed how similar they looked, the mother and son. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Arthur… you are my son's friend, right?"
England saw how China flinched upon the label, but he smiled politely. He could do this. He couldn't get insulted because he was there for China. He couldn't get mad because if he got mad, then China would never reconcile with his own families. So he smiled. "… Yes, madam."
"Arthur!" China snapped.
England winked, signalling China that he was OK. But China was already beyond repair.
"…OK. Let's be frank aru. Why do you call me here, mother?"
"Yao?"
"I couldn't stand the way you treat my boyfriend, mother. So let's be frank here and settle our business. Then I can go and you have your peace."
"Yao! What is this? How come you are so rude to your own mother! Is this his influence?"
"NO, aru! No. This is getting ridiculous. Tell me what you want and I will be on the next plane out of here."
England knew it was the wrong thing to do, but China looked like he needed support from being too vulnerable. So he moved and hugged China from behind. "It's OK, Yao. It's OK…"
China was thankful from the gesture, but he could see clearly how his mother and Japan were watching them. They were judging them. And he couldn't take it. But he needed to, otherwise England's good will would be futile.
"Fine. I … I am sorry, mother. It's just a long flight and… well, if you don't want us on your house, we can get a hotel room by ourselves aru."
His mother looked troubled for a minute, but she nodded eventually.
China knew that was a mistake. That wasn't his home, that wasn't his country, that wasn't his family. He didn't have family since the start. Why was he so keen in keeping those false hopes? Stupid.
Stupid.
But he was thankful he wasn't alone. England's hands on his waist felt so good.
So they went for lunch. China felt suffocated on the car, which was silent apart from the music from the radio. The AC was blazing, and it was cold despite the warm weather outside.
He was seated at the back with England, while Japan was driving and his mother took the seat beside the driver. And his mother turned back, smiling.
"..So how is your life, Yao? I have heard that you are doing good."
From who? China wanted to ask. Because he never told anything to them. But he smiled.
"I am good, mother. It was good."
"…So what subject did you chose for your major, Yao?"
England flinched. He didn't realize that the relationship between China and his families were so stretched until his own mother didn't know what her own son was doing as a major. Somehow he understood China now; the question is, do they really care?
"I am doing bachelors on accounting and arts, aru."
"Oh." His mother smiled. "That is good. Kiku is doing art as well, right Kiku?"
Japan nodded, but he showed no sign of wanting to be included into the conversation.
"So… What do you want to eat Yao? Do you have our food in that country?"
"We have. I have nothing particular, aru. I'll follow whenever you take me."
Silent. It was like his mother was waiting for him to talk and China was waiting his mother to talk.
"So… Of course! We can go back to the Chinese restaurant… still remember Yao?"
Of course he remembered everything. It haunted his dreams.
"Thanks." China whispered as he felt England's hand enveloped his. "Yes, sure, mother." He added, to answer his mother's question.
"Err… we are going now to the hotel, and after you put your luggage there, we'll meet your dad."
"… How is he doing?" China asked, carefully. They haven't talk about the father yet.
"That's actually the reason I called you, Yao…" his mother suddenly spoke gravely. "He… He got kidney failure, and he… he was asking you to donate yours."
China stopped breathing, couldn't believe what his mother was saying. England grabbed his lover's hand tighter.
"…It's not like that, Yao…" his mother continued. "It's just some test, and we don't know whether you are compatible or not, but you are our best chance. And it's… it's not like I called you here because of just that. I do, really, I do miss you, Yao."
But the word was lost to China as blocked everything away, immersing himself in his mind. Even England couldn't get him. And no matter how his mother talked, trying to engage him in more conversation, or heck, even apologizing for telling the surprise without warning, China was lost and he couldn't listen to anything.
For him, everything was clear. He was not there because his parents miss him. He was there as an emergency organ provider.
"Yao…"
China snapped back into reality. He looked around, realizing that he was seated on a fluffy single bed in the middle of a high class hotel room. There were 2 single bed, which Yao sat on one of them. It took away his mind from his current emotional hurricane.
"Why two beds, aru?"
"Well, I believe it's not wise to stay on one bed with your mother's… well, reaction, Yao."
"… Why don't we just hop on the next flight back, aru? Don't be bother to unpack, Arthur."
"Yao…"
"Really, I am fine. Let's go back. I'll pay for it, aru."
"Yao…"
"Where is the phone? I need to book it… and taxi? Oh, of course, where was that mother of mine? Is she gone?"
"She said she is going home first, but she will meet us soon with the whole family and fetch us to the hospital."
"Let's go before she comes back, aru." China stood, up and tall, smiling brightly. "Let's get a taxi."
"Yao…"
"Stop Yao-ing me. I am fine and I am alright. Let's just go home! I still have some money and well since it's our break, what about going some other countries? What do you think about Taiwan? Sounds good, right?"
"Yao…"
"Stop. You don't get it. Why should I stay just to be a fucking organ donor, aru? Why should I… go with their selfishness like this, aru? Why should I be desperate enough to surrender my kidney just to make them say, 'hey, thank you, Yao, I just remember you are my son!'? Isn't it ridiculous, aru? I don't care about any of this. They are not my family… and they even looked down upon you!"
"Yao, you are still angry. Please calm down and we can think about what we should do later."
"I am angry, aru! Very much so! Who they think they are, aru? Looking down upon you? You, you are better than them, aru. They might be labelled my family but you are more important, way more important to me than them. I cannot believe my own mother called us sin! For all I know, I have forgotten how to call her 'mother'! Fuck this, aru. We are going home!"
England didn't answer and dropped his shoulder. China got the gesture and his worse fear returned. He had confessed how important England was to him. And England felt disgusted. China thought England was angry.
"I… I am sorry, aru. If … if you want to stay, we can, aru. Don't be angry… OK?"
"I am not angry, Yao." England sighed. He opened his luggage to get their change of clothes. "It's just I need you to stop saying we are going home. We are here and we need to settle this. I am too tired to quarrel with you, Yao."
"I am sorry. I'll… I think I'll…"
"Yao, come here." England spread his arms. "Come here."
China meekly followed this time, and England realized how fragile, vulnerable China has been ever since they reached the land. Heck, even since they were in the airport back home. China held his breath. The scent was familiar, the chest was warm, but he couldn't feel good as usual. He felt too exposed and he had said it clearly, that England was more important. China couldn't stand it. Everything hit him too fast. He was unimportant, even in his families' eyes. So he didn't want to make England think that he was unimportant. China was scared. He was breaking down.
"Fuck me, aru."
He needed to remind England that he actually good at something. Anything.
"Yao?"
"I'll do a mind blowing blow job for you, OK?" China smiled trying to be cheerful. "Come on, I'll even service you all night, aru. Sit down."
"Yao, stop! I am tired; you are tired, why with the sudden thing?"
"Come on, Arthur. We have bed, and we have the whole room to ourselves, aru…"
"Your family will be coming any time soon, Yao! We need to prepare!"
"Forget them, aru. They can see whatever they want to see, aru. Fuck me, Arthur. I swear I can make you feel so good."
"… Don't try to run, Yao. Your problem wouldn't be gone when you run like this. Look at me." England held China's arms tight. China looked up and green eyes stabbed through him. "You cannot run. Listen what they have to say and then you say what you want to say. Hang on there."
China bit his lips. "… Fine, aru. Sorry."
England sighed. Their forehead met.
"Listen, Yao. It's not like I don't want to make love to you. I do want it so much, and I know it can soothe you. But not now. What you need now is to be strong enough to face what you have been delaying for years. I know this is hard. I can see why you don't like to talk, or think about them, or come back here. But we are here. We need to do this, so you can settle yourself down. I can only be supportive, but you need to face it by your own. And I refuse to 'fuck' you, because I don't do 'fuck'. I make love."
China flinched.
"See? Whenever I mentioned love you tried to run. Just like what you do when you face your family. So this is my proposition, you deal with this whole thing, settle things down, and then I will receive whatever left on you and we will be happy together. You don't need to be afraid that I'll leave you. I promise, and I know, you are the love of my life and I wouldn't give you up unnecessarily. I only know one thing; if you keep running from your family like this, you can never receive my feelings fully, Yao."
"…Not even an emergency mercy fuck, aru?"
China looked so pitiful and lost. But England shook his head. "No. Not now. But we'll settle for this."
And by that, their lips met. Slow and soft, nice and gentle. Supportive, not desire.
China closed his eyes.
"You know how to pamper me, aru."
England chuckled.
I am not sure whether I should continue or not.
review?