Of Cats and Women
for Tetleybag
The characters are JK Rowling's.
ooo
Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank was not what one could call a shy person. It's just that there was something about Professor McGonagall that made her difficult to approach. Even for academic purposes.
Something forbidding, Wilhelmina reflected, as she puffed on her pipe and peered cautiously at the Deputy Headmistress from behind The Daily Prophet.
And, she added to herself, as she lowered her unseeing gaze to an ugly picture of Cornelius Fudge, what she wanted to ask Minerva McGonagall was rather a personal question.
And tight-bunned square-spectacled Deputy Headmistress Head of Gryffindor house Transfiguration teacher Minerva McGonagall looked like someone who didn't do personal.
On the other hand, Wilhelmina told herself, her eyes wandering out again, around the otherwise empty staff room, it was very unlikely that she would ever get another chance. There had only been seven Animagi registered in Britain since the beginning of the century.
"Ahem," she tried.
To no avail.
What was the matter with her? She had no difficulty addressing any of the other teachers, not even the Headmaster.
"Er, Minerva?"
Minerva looked up from her pile of essays.
Oh dear. She looked really busy.
And impatient.
"When you have time..." Wilhelmina allowed herself a pause to blow some smoke, "there is something I'd like to ask you. If it's all right."
"I have time," said Minerva, applying a drying spell to her quill before resting it on the parchment. Her quill looked just like her: dark green, long, slim, probably comfortable to hold.
"Oh. Just an academic question. Interesting to someone who specialises in animals. I have never met an Animagus before."
Minerva nodded, in an intellectual business-like way. It made the light flash on her spectacles.
"Could I...? I would like to..."
Oh dear again. This sounded terribly impertinent.
"Become an Animagus?"
"Oh no. I hadn't thought of that. I just wanted to see, um, if you could show me..."
My, this sounded daring.
Pop. A dainty tabby cat jumped on the table, careful not to spill the ink bottle. Wilhelmina smiled. In this shape, Minnerva looked less forbidding, even though the tabby stared at her with Minerva's eyes behind square spectacle marks.
"Very good."
The cat had settled down on the desk and awaited majestically.
"Thank you," said Wilhelmina after a few minutes.
The Deputy Headmistress returned with a pop.
"What does it feel like?"
For some reason, it was easier to talk to Minerva now.
Minerva frowned, though not in a forbidding way.
"You see things from a different angle," she said slowly. "Rather... you sense them differently. A cat smells and hears the world as much as it sees it... It's hard to put into words. Cats don't have words."
"You don't think in words as a cat?"
"Not automatically. My cat mind works differently. Everything is rushing sensation and rushing knowledge. Cats don't define things. Definitions are too limiting."
"Very wise."
"Wisdom is different from what people think."
Minerva peered at Wilhelmina, as a teacher who wants to see if she is being understood.
"I'm sure it is."
Few people could make Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank feel stupid, but Minerva seemed to be one of them.
"So in cat form you think as a cat, without words?"
"Most of the time. But the words are still there. I still remember them. I understand what people around me are saying. I can think in words, but it takes an effort, as if I were translating from a different language... The effort has to be made, of course, or there would be no point."
"No point?"
"In being an Animagus."
Wilhelmina put down her pipe.
"What is the point?"
"Excuse me?"
"What makes one choose to become an Animagus?"
Minerva's glasses sparkled.
"The challenge. It's such amazing Transfiguration."
"Oh," said Wilhelmina, slightly disappointed. Amazing Transfiguration.
"At this point, you realise that Transfigured beings don't change into something else."
"They don't?"
"No. They get in touch with an unrevealed aspect of themselves. You are probably aware that one does not choose the type of animal one turns into."
"And it's always the same one."
"Exactly. The shape of one's Animagus is determined by one's inner dispositions, just as one's Patronus and the house in which one gets Sorted."
"That means... that part of you was always a cat."
Suddenly Wilhelmina saw Minerva in a new light.
"Yes. One never stops being oneself."
"I noticed the cat was very careful not to disturb anything on the desk."
"I have to be careful. The human part has to stay in control."
"Can one lose control?"
"One certainly can."
Minerva's straight shoulders quivered almost imperceptibly.
"Is that a choice one makes, or is it more like... a weakness?"
"It can be either. I can imagine why certain witches or wizards might be tempted."
"I can too."
Wilhelmina picked up her pipe.
"Though an Animagus is never only an animal," continued Minerva. "Real animals sense it. Cats know I am not one of them. I am not. There always comes a moment when I feel like opening a book, or even going back to teaching. Do you enjoy teaching?"
"Oh, yes."
Wilhelmina lit her pipe.
"Er, what does the change feel like?" she asked, to get the conversation off herself.
"A bit like Apparition. Instead of finding yourself in a different place, you are in a different body. Have you ever tried changing into a different body, through Transfiguration or Polyjuice potion?"
"Er, no. It would frighten the animals."
"You have to practice this before you are ready for Animagus transformation. You must get used to adjusting to a different size, a different weight, a different eyesight. There are many details and all are important."
"Now your cat body feels as familiar as your human body?"
"Yes. It happens amazingly fast, much faster than with an artificial Polyjuice potion."
"Artificial?"
"Your Animagus is still you, whereas a foreign human body is not. Being an Animagus is more like changing into different clothes."
"And... excuse me, but what happens to your clothes?"
"They are Transfigured. Didn't you notice my glasses?"
Wilhelmina shifted uncomfortably. Minerva had sounded as if she were addressing a particularly dim-witted student. This brought back memories from another lifetime, in another place, when another tight-bunned teacher had spoken to her in a similar tone.
"If you are injured in human form, the injury appears in your Animagus form?" she asked, in a desperate attempt not to lose track.
"Indeed. And vice versa."
"And if your tail was injured?"
Why did she have to ask such a question? Minerva was giving her an are-you-trying-to-be-funny look.
"Sorry," she muttered."I was just wondering."
"As a human, I don't have a tail," said Minerva in the icy tone she usually reserved to Severus.
"Well, no, obviously. I'm sorry. Er, Minerva, I do have a few more questions that are a bit personal, but you don't have to..."
Minerva took a deep breath.
"Let's hear them."
"You said your perceptions are those of a cat. Do you have a cat's impulses? Such as, you know, stretching, rolling on your back, purring?"
"... Running after mice? Yes, and birds and lizards and all small creatures that can run."
There was a silence.
"And torturing them."
Wilhelmina puffed on her pipe.
"Cats are sadistic," said Minerva.
"Cats are cats," said Wilhelmina.
"I don't feel it as a witch," added Minerva in a low voice, her eyes darting around the room. "Only in cat form."
Wilhelmina blew a cloud of smoke.
"One learns about oneself in animal form. But I have to restrain these impulses."
"Do you always succeed?"
Minerva blushed slightly.
"Most of the time."
"Do you have other types of impulses?"
"If a student asked me such a question, I would avoid answering. But really, why should I care? What is worse than sadism?"
Minerva's voice quavered.
"Nothing," said Wilhelmina calmly.
"I have all impulses a cat has. I even enjoy the smell of Thestral dung. And yes, sexual impulses too."
Wilhelmina blew out a cloud of smoke.
"And if you... you could have kittens?"
"It's technically possible."
It was high time to get on more, um, neutral ground. But how did one do this?
"Thank you, Minerva. Now I have to feed the Hippogriffs" didn't seem quite appropriate.
"That's where you mustn't lose your head," Minerva was saying. "There are several ways of avoiding this problem."
Wilhelmina's intellectual curiosity had not reached its end, but her courage had. The Hippogriffs must be getting hungry.
"This is one of the cases in which it is important not to forget one is human. If I were really a cat, I..."
At last, Minerva fell silent.
"You can Obliviate me, if you like," Wilhelmina offered lamely.
"Of course not."
The Deputy Headmistress was back.
"I avoid speaking of this subject with giggling teen-agers, but you are an adult, and an expert in Magical Creatures. Do you have any more questions?"
Wilhelmina had more questions than she had ever had.
"I don't think so."
"Are you tempted to try?"
"To try?"
"Becoming an Animagus? What would you be?"
"You'd be surprised."
"No, I don't think I would."
The cloud of smoke was thinning. Minerva reappeared, as stern and controlled as ever.
"Animals trust me in my human form," said Wilhelmina, "more than they trust Animagi. They prefer animals to look like animals and humans like humans. It's less confusing."
"How do you know that?"
"It's obvious. How would you consider me if I were actually a dragon posing as a witch?"
For the first time, Wilhelmina saw Minerva McGonagall smile.
"I doubt a dragon would ask all these questions."
"Talking of dragons... "
The time had come to bring up the nesting mother dragons issue.
"How is it that no one has opposed...?"
The door opened, and in walked Dumbledore.
"Aah, Minerva, Wilhelmina... So sorry to interrupt. I have good news : Hagrid will resume his teaching on Monday."
"Oh, how... " Minerva seemed to have something stuck in her throat.
Did I ever mention that Wilhelmina never got to speak in favour of mother dragons?
ooo
Thank you again to Silverbirch for his very instructive, 'One out of Nine', that taught me a lot about cat's mind.