I, the Amnesiac Chapter 1, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

Title: I, the Amnesiac

Authors: cookiecollabs
Pairing: eventual CanKo

Rating: T
Warnings: loss of memory, mild language

Spoilers: none

Disclaimer: Neither Kristen nor Nani own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

Summary: Yong Soo wakes up one day with no idea who he is. All he has is his dysfunctional family and his blonde best friend to help put together the memories of his life. Eventual CanKo

He wasn't sure where he was. He was surrounded by darkness. He looked around, trying to see something, anything, when he caught sight of someone ahead of him. Their back was turned. He started walking towards the figure, knowing somehow that it was important, even dear to him, but no matter how fast he walked, or ran, or sprinted, they remained hopelessly out of reach. He cursed, and tripped. Only then was when the other turned around, and he caught a glimpse of violet eyes.

His own brown eyes snapped open. He sat up, looking around. Who the hell was he? He tried to remember something, anything, but all he knew was that he knew nothing of his own life. What's my name...? He frowned, unsure of even that. It felt like he knew it, somewhere. It was on the tip of his tongue, yet he couldn't quite remember. His brow furrowed in concentration. He glanced around the room he woke in. So... is this my room? He supposed it was. The walls were a light beige. His blankets were striped with red and blue, and there was a cluttered desk with two laptops on it. He noticed another bed across the room. He tried drinking every detail, as if a bit of peeling paint could contain some clues. I'm guessing I'm sharing this room with someone else?... Suddenly, his door opened, and a small, slight man with dark hair tied into a ponytail stood at the doorframe. When he saw him sitting up on the bed, his eyes widened with surprise and slight confusion.

"You're awake?" the man asked, stepping forward, relief washing over his tired face. "Thank god..." He sighed and looked over at his side and then back at the other brunette. "Are you feeling alright?"

Huh...? He frowned, staring at the man, trying to make sense of everything. Okay, I obviously must have amnesia. So, I'm guessing I know this man? "My head hurts." He said lightly, laughing nervously. "Um... I didn't want to ask, but... who are you...?"

The smile that had placed itself on the man's lips disappeared after a moment. He looked like he wanted to take a step back, but decided not to, and instead took one forward, slowly approaching the other's bed. "I'm Yao... your cousin." He pointed to himself. The other took notice that Yao had begun to tremble, but couldn't figure out why. "Do you... remember who you are?" Yao asked timidly.

"Um... I'm... your cousin." He joked halfheartedly.

Yao would've laughed, since that was something the other would do, but didn't in the moment of seriousness. "It seems you really..." he sighed once again, but this time in disappointment. "Your name is Im Yong Soo," the older brunette stated. "You are at the age of twenty and -"

"Yong Soo!" Someone ran through the door and tackled the brunette on the bed, embracing him in a strong hug. "You're alright!" the intruder, who was blonde, exclaimed, sounding relieved.

"A-ah!" The brunette, or Yong Soo, as that was what his name apparently was, gasped, surprised at the sudden hug. "Y-yeah, I guess I am!" He stammered. "But, um..."

The blonde looked up, arms wrapped around Yong Soo, ecstatic. He was smiling, and so were his violet eyes. They struck Yong Soo hard, but he chose not to let it get to him. He could deal with it later after he found out what the hell had happened. "Yes?" he asked, glasses frames beginning to slip off of his nose. The blonde tilted his head to the side, curious.

"U-um..." The brunette frowned, unsure how to say what he was about to say next. "I... I don't know who you are." He finally said quietly, looking down.

"...pardon?" The blonde's smile slipped, like Yao's did earlier, when he realized that Yong Soo was being serious. "Oh... u-um..." His cheeks flushed and he pulled away, fixing his shirt and looking down at the floor. Yong Soo couldn't help but feel guity, especially with the eyes that the man had. The blonde looked back up and fixed his glasses. "I'm Matthew Williams, your lo -"

Yao placed a hand on his shoulder and corrected, "He's your best friend, and currently lives with you."

"Oh." Yong Soo tried a smile, stretching his hand out towards Matthew. "It's nice to meet you again, I guess." He really does look familiar, but I can't remember anything about him...

Matthew looked like he was going to cry, but he forced a smile and shook the other's hand. "Y-Yeah."

"So," Yao chimed in. "Now that you've met the one person that you've been close to since childhood, I think it's time for you to meet your other family members, aru. Is that alright? Are you up for it?"

"Oh, yeah!" Yong Soo swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood up. His legs faltered for a moment and he grabbed Matthew's shoulder to regain his balance. "Let's... let's go."

The blonde averted his purple gaze, cheeks coloring. "I-I'll help you." His arm wrapped around Yong Soo's back to support him, gripping at his waist.

Yao kept his comments to himself, and guided the two towards the main room, where several other brunettes were waiting anxiously.

"Hey, you bitch!" one of them exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. He looked identical to Yong Soo, but much angrier, and had a long braid that reached his lower back. His curl, which Yong Soo took note that he also had, was on the opposite side. "It's about time you wake up! What the fuck were you thinking worrying us a -"

"Calm down, aru!" Yao shouted, already frustrated just by the presence of Yong Soo's look alike. He sighed and forced the angry-looking Asian to sit back down. "Yong Soo, this is your twin brother, Haneul." He gestured toward Haneul, who was suddenly confused.

"Wh... Why are you introducing me, old man? He already knows who the fuck I am!"

"I said calm down!"

Yong Soo glanced at Haneul, giving him a once-over. "You kinda look like me, huh?" He commented, laughing lightly. "It's nice to meet you, Haneul. So, I have a twin brother?"

Haneul glowered at him, literally fuming. He was beyond confused, which frustrated him all the more, and rendered him speechless.

"Yes, you do." Yao moved over to another brunette, who was on his knees on the ground. This one looked a lot calmer, and when he looked up, Yong Soo immediately knew that this one wasn't going to start swearing and yelling at him. "This is Honda Kiku, one of your other cousins."

Yong Soo nodded at him. "Um, cool. I guess." He moved away from Matthew, who had been supporting him, and leaned against a wall, sighing in confusion. "So, any other cousins? Am I the fricking president of America? Or are there no other surprises?"

"You're in college, is just about all I can say." Yao gave Matthew a look, but Yong Soo didn't see it in time to know what it was.

Haneul finally decided to speak up, and said something quite smart. "You're also gay."

Yong Soo nodded, shrugging. "Okay."

Matthew gawked at the irritated twin, but didn't say anything.

"Ah... yes, that too, aru." The elder Asian nodded. "And you're already in a relationship." He side-glanced at Matthew, who fidgetted.

"Huh? With who?" Yong Soo asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

Yao finally smiled. "You'll find out over time, aru."

Is he seriously saying that?

"Uh, fine. Okay." Yong Soo said out loud. "So..."

Matthew poked his head in and decided to speak up. "U-Um... I'm the one you would usually come to whenever you had questions and what-not, so if you wouldn't mind, could you... please follow?" his cheeks colored again.

"Follow you...? Okay." Yong Soo cast a glance back at his cousins and followed the blonde.

The other led him to their shared room, offering Yong Soo to sit on his bed. "S-Since I'm your..." He hesitated. "...best friend, I figured it would be better if you got your answers from me."

"Oh, okay." Yong Soo sat down on the bed, next to him. "So... what happened that made my memories go away? Do you know?"

"Honestly..." Matthew sighed. "I honestly don't know. You were asleep for three whole days.. more like in a coma, but we never called a doctor because we wanted you to rest. You were, um... You were studying the night that you had gone under, and had been up for a little over two days. So... So maybe your body just needed rest. But losing your memory..." He curled up, knees against his chest. "I don't know how it happened."

"Huh. That's really weird. So you think that my three day long nap had something to do with it?"

"I would think so. But I can't figure out why."

"...Huh." Yong Soo frowned.

Matthew shrugged. "So... is there anything else you're curious about? I mean... I'd be asking all kinds of things if it were me." When he noticed what he had said, he blushed and corrected himself. "Wh-What I mean is...!"

"I know what you mean, don't worry." The other laughed lightly. He suddenly frowned. "This is probably a weird question, but... what's my favorite color?"

"Um... purple." Matthew couldn't help but smile. "The smallest things can help you get your memory back."

"Purple? How gay was I?" Yong Soo joked, laughing to show he wasn't serious. "Purple." He repeated, frowning slightly. That seemed about right...

Matthew's violet eyes narrowed, but his smile didn't falter. "Yeah. Like this color." He pointed to his eyes, chuckling.

"Uh-huh." Yong Soo stared directly into his eyes, frowning. This seemed to unnerve Matthew a bit. "Your eyes are more like... violet." He stated, his dream rushing back to him. Dammit. Why can't I just forget it like a normal dream?

"Y-Yeah..." Matthew's blush darkened, and he averted his eyes. "You always said my eye color was nice... and that you really liked it."

"Really?" Yong Soo smiled. "Well, I do. After all, you just said my favorite color was purple." He wondered why the blonde was blushing. He's just a shy person, I guess.

"R-Right..." The blonde nodded. "I-Is there anything else? I know you've got more that you want to know." He offered him a smile, looking back at him.

"What's my favorite food? What do I usually do in my free time? Do I have any friends besides you?" Matthew was suddenly bombarded by questions faster than he could answer.

Matthew tried to keep himself from yelling to get the other to stop. "Y-Yong Soo... Yong Soo!" he exclaimed, tackling the other onto his back, on top of him while pinning the other's arms above his head. "Calm down," Matthew murmured, smiling softly. "One question at a time, please."

Yong Soo looked up at him, surprised by the sudden change in position. "R-right." He said finally. "Sorry."

The blonde went to pull away, but it appeared that he couldn't. Yong Soo wondered why. "Yeah. So... First question, eh?"

"Um..." Yong Soo tugged his wrists from the others grip gently, sitting up. "So...how did I meet you? Yao... that was his name, right? But anyways, Yao said we were good friends."

Matthew ended up sitting on his lap in this position, but didn't say anything. "We met back in the second grade, and we got along easily. But we wouldn't have become such good friends if my brother hadn't spoken up." His eyes lit up at the mention of his brother. "Oh! I forgot! I have a twin brother, too! His name is Alfred Jones. The whole last name thing is hard to explain. But, you guys are really good friends too!" The blonde looked at the sheets. "But he lives down in Texas... with his boyfriend."

"Huh? We're both twins, then!" Yong Soo said, smiling.

"Yeah... We are." Matthew laughed.

"Alright, then..." Yong Soo frowned slightly, thinking.

"So... Any other questions you would like to ask? And please don't throw out a million questions and expect me to answer them all at once," the other joked.

"Haha~ hm..." The other thought for moment. "I wanna know everything... but little by little." He got off the bed, stretching out. "I bet my life was a hell of a lot more interesting before this." he added, smiling. "That's one plus."

Matthew thought for a minute. "Um... You don't like studying, but you'll do it for long periods of time once you begin." He frowned at this. "You like just about anything but kimchi... Uh... We've lived together for a couple years now, since we're now at the age of twenty. I can't really think of anything else." He looked at the ceiling, and then Yong Soo. "You really care about your significant other..." His voice trailed off, and he avoided eye contact.

"Huh... who is he, anyways?" The brunette looked back at the blonde.

"Hmm?" The blonde glanced back at him. "It's like Yao said... You'll find out at some point." His cheeks colored and he looked back at his bookshelf.

"Okay." Yong Soo headed towards the door. "What day is today? What should I do?"

Matthew scrambled to his feet, grabbing Yong Soo's arm. "Today is Friday, September 23rd. And you should rest inside of the house. You just woke up from what we think is a coma, and it will do you no good if you pass out again." When Yong Soo gave him a look, he rolled his eyes. "I'm allowed to have some sort of medical knowledge."

"Well, if you say so." Yong Soo sat back down, slumping slightly.

"Are you hungry?"

"Actually, I am."

"I'll go fix you something." And with that, Matthew headed out of the room.

Yong Soo fell back onto his bed. This is...

Not too long after did Matthew return with a bento, chopsticks, and a glass of tea. "You, uh... You like eating this for lunch, so... yeah."

"Thanks." Yong Soo smiled at blonde and took the bento.

Matthew stepped back and grabbed one of his books, flipping to a random page and appearing to be studying it.

Yong Soo ate quietly. This is good. Now I know why I like it.

In a moment of worry, Matthew looked up and asked, "Is it alright? I-If it's not, I could go get you something else..."

Yong Soo smiled at his friend. "No, it's all good. Thanks."

"Alright..." Matthew looked back at his book. After a few moments of silence, he looked up with a sad smile. "I'm sorry you lost your memory," the blonde whispered, softly.

"It's alright." The brunette sighed quietly. "Couldn't be helped."

The other bit down on his lower lip, worrying it. He looked like he was about to say something, but didn't. It appeared he couldn't, for some strange reason.

"Hm? Do you have anything to say?" Yong Soo asked, curious.

Matthew worried his lip some more, and shook his head. "Just... Just thinking about an exam I have coming up in a few days," he lied, avoiding eye contact. He had done it quite a bit, and Yong Soo was getting curious. He must be a really shy person, the brunette concluded.

"Okay!" He said cheerfully. "If that's all, I hope you'll do alright!"

Matthew's cheeks colored, and he managed a laugh. "Thank you."

The brunette's smile remained and he got up to throw the leftovers away.

"Hey, Yong Soo..." Matthew closed his book and stood, fiddling with a pen in his right hand. His free hand moved up to scratch at the back of his neck. "Um..."

"What?"

"This is really bad... uh..." The blonde fidgeted. "You have an exam tomorrow and you... probably have no memory whatsoever of what you've been studying." He sighed, running a hand through his wavy hair.

"Huh? What's it on?" Yong Soo smiled slightly. "I remember everything... except anything personal about my life. It's like... I know that there's twenty four hours in a day, but I don't know something like my favorite animal." He frowned. "What is my favorite animal?"

"So it's there, huh..." Matthew hummed to himself, thinking. "It's nothing much, just on the basics of college geography. It's the same thing for me, but I'm in an advanced class." So he was a smarty-pants too, huh? "And I think your favorite animal is a panda. I could be wrong." The blonde shrugged, handing him one of his textbooks. "Here. You were studying this a few nights ago, before you..." Matthew worried his lower lip again. "...yeah."

"Thanks." Yong Soo flipped through the book, smiling in relief when he saw he did indeed know all of it.

"Are you remembering anything?" the other questioned, hopeful.

"Well, like I said, I already knew this."

"Oh... W-Well that's a good start, I guess."

"Yeah." Yong Soo closed the book. "Well, that sucks. I don't have an excuse to skip."

Matthew chuckled. "It would be a pain in the ass explaining anyways."

"Haha... yeah. I wouldn't make you do that."

"Thanks. I appreciate it," the blonde said, truthfully. "Ugh..." Matthew pulled out his notebook and started scribbling. "I'll just stay here and monitor you. Yao has enough going on as it is."

Yong Soo smiled. "So, I live with Yao, my twin, and my other cousin?"

"And me."

"And you." He smiled at the blonde. However, a part of him felt frustrated. He wanted to know more, everything about himself, yet he didn't want to ask.

Matthew's cheeks colored for the bijillionth time that day and he turned back to his notebook.

"So... what are the others like? In your opinion?"

"Your cousins?" Matthew stopped his scribbling and looked up, in thought. "Yao is like a parent to you all, and juggles about four jobs. But he was given a break because of your... incident. Haneul is... special." He chuckled to himself. "He has anger issues, and they haven't gotten any better because he ran away from therapy and now hangs out with Lovino, who is just as bad with his language. Lovino is also a twin, by the way. I hang out with his brother, who is really nice..." The blonde paused. "But Feli constantly forgets my name."

There was a short moment of silence, and then Matthew continued, but his tone lacked the light it had not too long ago. Yong Soo wasn't sure of what it was, so he didn't press. "Kiku is... an anime freak. He plays these 2-D sims all of the time on his laptop, and I swear he watches porn. But he's really nice... a little too nice, if you ask me."

"Too nice?" Yong Soo finally asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"He tends to cover up things with polite antics and such... It makes me uneasy."

"I see... he did seem nice. He wasn't talking much, though."

"Kiku doesn't speak unless he's done analyzing the situation and if he finds it right to talk, he will."

"I see. You don't seem to like him much." Yong Soo observed.

Matthew shook his head. "To be honest, I don't. I'm not sure why. It's these vibes that I get from him. Once in awhile he gives me these looks... but he always looks so... what's the word..." He frowned. "...expressionless, that I never know what he's thinking."

"Weird... so he's one of those kinda people? Those sorta emotionless people?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, then..." Yong Soo shrugged. "Some people are like that, I guess."

Matthew played with his pen, not sure of what to say. "Yeah, I guess."

The brunette nodded and remained quiet, comfortable with the silence.

"Hmm..." The blonde flipped through his pad of paper and murmured, "I really wish you hadn't lost your memory, Yong Soo..." He sounded sad, almost crushed. Then again, Yong Soo thought, he was his best friend. Of course he would be sad.

"I'm sorry, but what can I do?" Yong Soo said, smiling.

"Nothing... There's nothing that you can do." Matthew rested his chin on his knees, still curled up. He offered a small smile, looking out the window to his right. "I can only wish that this hadn't happened..."

"Hey..." The brunette's eyes softened. "I'll get my memories back."

Matthew removed his glasses and began cleaning them, having nothing else to do. "But there's some things that you can never return back to normal," he whispered, his lower lip quivering the slightest.

"What's wrong?" Yong Soo asked, frowning. "You look so sad."

"I-I'm not sad," the other quickly recovered, placing his circular frames onto the bridge of his nose. He tried to fix his smile, but it lacked happiness. "I'm just tired," Matthew lied. "I haven't slept well for the past few days."

"Alright..." The other frowned, but didn't push it.

And for the remaining few hours of the day, they sat there, reading and thinking. There wasn't much else that they did, except get up to eat dinner and then head off to get ready to sleep and study some more. But besides that, there wasn't much.

"Good night, Mattie." Matthew had informed him that that was his nickname for him before.

Matthew turned off their lamp and slipped underneath his sheets, murmuring a "good night".

Yong Soo stared at the ceiling for a long time before his eyelids finally grew heavy and he and he fell asleep.

Yong Soo was back in the empty blackness. Here again? He caught a glimpse of the same person in the distance. Who is that, anyways? He started walking towards the person, who always remained out of reach. He never caught up.

Nani: A new story! And what do you know, it's CanKo! Again! Anyways, I can't wait to continue this one! And don't worry, I'm pretty sure we'll update our other stories! *pointed look at Blysse* I'll help edit! :U Anyways, thanks for reading and please review!

Kristen: Pfft, PLEASE. I'm working on them! Just give me some time! Goodness! I have a life, thank you! And I agree! I can't wait to continue! The second chapter shall be up soon! I just need to edit it. :3