Author's Note: Many thanks to my awesome beta Anjumstar. As well, I would like to thank my muse, Childhood Enigma, for inspiring me.

And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware
of what they're going through

"Changes"

David Bowie

"Brian! Don't forget your lunch!"

This is it- the Monday after the breakfast club.

Sunday had been a nightmare, his mother confining him to his room and forbidding all activities but studying. Claire's compassion buoys him up. She's a princess among the rich girls and she had cared about his intentions with the flare gun. If he matters to her, if he has the innate worth she seemed confident of, he is better than the lamp and the flare gun solution. He has determined that if he doesn't like who he is, he's in charge of that and will do something about it. Instead of studying, he had spent Sunday thinking about that.

His first resolution for the new life he wants to build is to be braver. If Claire doesn't approach him, he will seek her out. The same with Allison and Andy. He's not quite up to pursuing someone as scary as Bender, but he refuses to be shy with the others. If they reject him, it's their loss. He still has inherent value.

"Stop twisting your hat like that," his mother chides him as they stop at a red light. He flattens the hat out nervously, then decides this hat belongs to the past. He'll get a new one, one he chooses, not this ugly orange and blue University of Illinois hat. He tucks it into his backpack, then notices he's obsessively zipping and unzipping the bag. He tries putting his hands in his jacket pockets, then starts fiddling with the fringe of his scarf. Nerves? Worse than before the Latin quiz bowl.

He tries to think where he would find Claire. Where do the rich girls hang out? By one of their lockers; he remembers seeing them grouped together around Priscilla at her locker. Priscilla Rogers, now there's someone scary, much worse than Bender. Bender would only give him a wedgie; Priscilla might humiliate him in front of a gaggle of beautiful girls. She's known for her scathing contempt of all who do not conform to her standards.

The façade of the high school building looms. Here goes nothing.

Claire seems to have been waiting for him, just inside the front door. Her smile lights up his heart. She's smiling, she's waving, she's happy to see him, Brian Johnson.

"Hey, Claire…" What else should he say? "Umm…"

"Have you seen the others?" She's wringing her leather gloves. Is it possible Claire Standish might be as nervous as he is? "Have you seen John?"

Ah.

"No, I just got here. He hangs out in the parking lot usually, in the back corner."

"Oh." She looks crestfallen.

"I'll walk out there with you, if you want."

She seems to be debating, eyes cast down, her expensive gloves totally mangled by now. Just as he sees resolve cross her face, he stumbles forward, pushed hard by Bender's heavy back slap.

"Dork, Cherry, what's up?"

Claire's smile is slow and sensual now, none of the bright friendliness she had for him a moment ago. Bender gathers them up with an arm around each of them and sweeps them into the school.

"C'mon, Sporto says he's meeting Allison in the courtyard. We better hurry, Johnson here doesn't want to be late for homeroom."

Somehow, he's no longer being urged forward by Bender but being pulled along in his slip stream, tagging after the couple. To be perfectly honest, that's okay with him, he's glad to not have a wedgie. Or a noogie. Or any sort of bruises at all.

Everything about Bender is bigger than life and he makes a path for them through the student body. He sees Claire's head turn as she is sped along, then passes Priscilla himself. Priscilla looks entirely blank, as if her face had been wiped clean of all expression except pure surprise. More heads turn as they plunge along; obviously Bender is getting the reaction he wants by publicly parading Claire through the school. They burst out into the courtyard to find Allison and Andy tucked away in a corner standing so close they might have been kissing.

"Alright, break it up you two," Bender calls out.

The pair jump apart guiltily. When Andy turns, he grabs Brian by the scruff of the neck and shakes him a little, the way jocks do when they want to hug but are too manly to do so. Allison gives him a shy smile. Everyone in the group kept their promises.

Bender slaps his gloved hands together and rubs them, as if getting down to serious work.

"Now, who's getting high? Who's skipping homeroom? Where do we want to eat lunch?"

"Bender, you're the only one who's getting high and we all need to go to homeroom," Andy says. "I'd say we should eat lunch in the cafeteria, as that is where lunch is served."

This brings up a question Brian hadn't considered. He wants to be with his new friends, but he doesn't want to ditch his old friends, Lester, Rob and Gil.

"Well, guys, I think I'm going to sit with Lester. I don't want him to think I've abandoned him just because I made some new friends."

"I should probably sit with Priscilla, I promised her I would help her with social studies," is Claire's answer.

Allison and Andy glance at each other. Had they already discussed this problem?

"Claire, you're hanging with me," Bender says as if she hadn't said anything. "We can go out to the parking lot. You guys should join us."

"Allison is sitting with me," Andy announces.

"They won't like it Andy. I can sit with Brian. His friends will accept me." Allison seems sure of herself.

Andy bites his lower lip. To Brian, it seems Allison has it right. He can't see the jocks wanting Allison at their table, but Lester and the guys would definitely think having a girl to sit with would be cool.

"In fact, I think we should all sit with Brian's friends. Claire, your friends won't like you being with John, and John… your friends won't leave Claire alone."

Bender looks thoughtful, but Andy has a very set expression, as if he is determined to carry some point.

The homeroom bell rings.

"Brian and I will be at his table. You guys can do what you want, but I think you should sit with us."

Allison turns away and walks to the door, but in such a dreamy way, it seems she gets there by accident. Andy is left with his mouth open, about to say something. Brian follows Allison's example, leaving the other members of the breakfast club pondering.

Brian is a freshman so he has no classes with the others. His morning passes in a happy blur, until he broaches the subject of Allison. He tells Lester they're going to have a girl sitting with them. Gil overhears and whispers to Rob. They all look happy with the idea and Rob gives him a thumbs up.

"No, she's Andrew Clark's girlfriend, not mine."

Rob and Gil look disappointed, but Lester turns red with anger.

"How can you have anything to do with him?" Lester demands.

"His girlfriend didn't hurt you, did she? She's a nice girl. Besides, Andy is sorry he did that."

"Since when do you know what 'Andy' feels? When did you guys get that close?" Lester's scorn and fury are clear.

"Look, I can't tell it all to you now, but we had detention together. Andy is very sorry, okay? He'll tell you himself."

This breakfast club idea, so easy in detention, is a lot harder in practice.

Brian knows where to find Andy as their lockers are on the same hall. He tracks him down and corners him before he can leave for lunch.

"I told Lester you'd apologize. He doesn't want Allison sitting with us."

"Alright man. I'll do that. He deserves an apology." Andy looks uncomfortable but resolute. "He deserves more, but what else can I give him?"

"An apology is a good place to start."

Lester says, "No, I won't take your apology. You think words will change anything? What you did can't be fixed by 'I'm sorry.' You're a complete bastard and I don't trust you."

"I deserve that." Andy's head is down. "You're right. What I did went way beyond shitty."

Brian sees Lester isn't mollified.

"I'm sorry I did it. I wish I could make it not have happened. But I can't. I'd do anything to make it up to you." Andy looks up with tears in his eyes.

Brian has been watching them like a game of ping-pong. He's afraid Lester won't accept Andy's apology at all. But suddenly Lester is looking embarrassed, embarrassed by Andy's tears.

"Okay, I forgive you." He says it clearly. "Your girlfriend is welcome to sit with us."

Allison, who has been standing nearby, approaches looking uncertain. Andy gives her a kiss on the cheek and moves off to the jock table. Rob gestures toward the chair next to him. He's always considered himself a ladies' man. She gives him a smile and sits. Brian sits across from her, with Gil at his side. Gil immediately knocks over his milk.

None of them know what to say, but Allison seems unperturbed as she unpacks her lunch. When the pixie stix appear, Brian relaxes. She's so odd, the guys won't be able to stay shy. Her sandwich is on mismatched pieces of bread, one whole wheat, one white. She peels off the slice of olive loaf (which looks revolting) and begins her pixie stix routine.

The guys watch with interest. At the cereal crushing stage, Gil asks "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" Allison blurts defensively.

"It makes the sandwich stick together," Brian answers, as if this would be obvious and kicks Gil under the table.

"Is that Cap'n Crunch?" Rob asks, evidently trying to make polite conversation.

Just then Andy bangs his Happy Foods lunch bag down next to Allison. He looks even more pissed than he did when Vernon chastised him unfairly about the magazine rack.

"Ally, you're right, those boneheads still think it's funny." He looks at Lester. "I'm sorry man. I tried. Assholes. If they bother you, let me know." He seats himself forcefully and begins digging through the bag with unnecessary energy.

"Look at Claire," Allison says. They all follow her gaze across the cafeteria. Bender is standing at the richie-princess table, looming over the girls as Claire gets to her feet. Brian can see Priscilla's face contorted in a sneer, obviously saying something cutting to Claire. Bender takes Claire's elbow, but she wrenches out of his grasp and races toward the girls' bathroom.

"I'd better go see," Allison says and abandons her sandwich. Rob pinches up a piece of cereal and tastes it.

Everyone else continues watching Bender, who is still leaning over the princess table. Priscilla's sneer turns into shock as they look on. Bender turns with a swirl of his overcoat and makes his way to the geek table, a superior smile on his face.

"I don't normally kiss and tell," he announces as he turns a chair backwards and straddles it. "But sometimes you have to give way to greater need. Priscilla needed to come down a peg or two. Mentioning what she did last semester behind the gym shut her up."

"What did she do?" Rob wants to know.

"Brian's ears are too virginal for me to tell you. But…" Bender leans over and whispers in Rob's ear. Robs eyes threaten to pop out.

Andy looks over at the princess table darkly. "Bender, that wasn't such a smart thing to do. You don't know Priscilla. I've never known her to take anything lying down."

Bender gives his sarcastic laugh and says, "That's what I thought too, but it turns out she does take some things lying down." His lewd look gives his words their crude meaning.

"I'm not kidding man; she's mean as a snake."

"What can she do? I don't give a shit what she and her friends think."

"You've been warned."

Allison eventually returns, sans Claire. Brian is not alone in his concern to hear what happened to Claire.

"She went to the chemistry classroom to collect herself," she informs the table and returns to crushing her cereal.

What Allison didn't mention was Claire's anger with Bender. She was initially pissed because Bender tried to tell her where to spend her lunch, but then she heard about Bender's and Priscilla's activities behind the gym. (The whole school knows about that now.)

Brian is witness to this argument because after school she enlists his aid in approaching the heavy metal guys in the back parking lot. They set off for the lot but are intercepted by Bender himself at the rear doors, and Claire doesn't waste time in reading him the riot act.

This is uncomfortable to say the least. He tries to slip away, but Claire detains him by the arm.

"I want witnesses that I didn't do something totally disgusting with this- this libertine!"

There is much shouting on Claire's part and quick thinking and smooth talking on Bender's part. Eventually Bender works his arm around her shoulders and gets her to walk off with him, leaving Brian behind. They seem to forget about him and he is left standing there feeling a bit used. But then he recollects that Claire appealed to him to protect her honor and pride creeps in, pushing the other feelings aside.