'You're my new co-worker who is extremely attractive and that I can't talk to because I've watched porn of you before we even met, why is an online porn star working at a supermarket anyway?' AU

Hahahahahahahahahaha, I almost chocked while laughing. Seriously, this was fun!

Shooting Star

Clara yawned lazily. She really loathed these early morning staff meetings, especially since she only worked in this supermarket to pay for collage in her spare time and she would quit her job here in less than a year if everything went according to plan. But they had just gotten a new shop manager and he wanted to introduce himself to the rest of the staff, so Clara would just have to sit this one out.

When the new boss entered the staff room however Clara's heart seemed to skip a beat and all the blood in her body immediately rushed to her cheeks, leaving her head a bright, burning shade of scarlet red. She knew him.

She knew him.

She fucking knew him.

Clara immediately thought back a couple of weeks ago. She had been hanging out with a couple of her friends at home, drinking and talking until one of them had suggest to watch some porn. Clara hadn't been convinced at first, but a few videos later she had been laughing along with the lot of them at the silly dialogue and the ugly men who all somehow had a really bad skin condition. Until he had stepped on screen. The credits had listed him as The Doctor and he was by far the sexiest man she had had the pleasure to watch that night. There had been something really attractive about him, although Clara hadn't been able to determine what exactly it was. Maybe his glorious silver curls, maybe his haughty figure, or maybe, just maybe it was his utterly impressive package and the fact that he had actually seemed to know how to use it. Her friends had all laughed at her, even called her a gerontophile for stating that she was not unimpressed by the Doctor, yet when all of her friends had gone home, Clara had gone back to the video multiple times on several occasions and used it to spark her imagination while she was pleasuring herself, imagining it was the Doctor's mighty cock that was thrusting inside her, not her silicone dildo.

And now the Doctor, or as she soon learned, John Smith, was standing in front of her and introduced himself as her new boss and Clara had a really hard time keeping her eyes on his lips and away from his crotch. The fact that he was walking up and down in front of her did not aid to her focus because with every movement she was sure she could make out the shape of it beneath his trousers.

Oh, this was bad. This was really, really bad.

And it kept getting worse. Clara had never heard his voice in the video, except for a few moans and grunts that were still haunting her memory now. He spoke in a low, gravelly voice with a thick Scottish accent and she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to hear this voice breathe dirty things into her ear as he lay on top of her.

Aroused in a staff meeting. Great, just great.

As he talked Clara tried her very best to keep her mind out of the gutter, but she could soon find something erotic in every single one of his movements. The way his hand trailed quickly over his stomach before slipping into his trouser pocket, the way he threw his head back after someone else had made a joke, the way his fingers brushed through his own hair. Clara wanted those long fingers on her own body, ghosting over the skin of her back and slipping into her wetness. She wanted to tear his clothes off his body, crush their mouths together while her fingers buried deep inside his curls. She wanted him to fuck her in very possible position known to mankind. Clara took a deep breath, trying to slow down her breathing before anyone could notice the state she was in. She decided that classes after work were cancelled for today. After work she had a very important date with a familiar video.

"Clara Oswald?" she suddenly heard him read her name off a list.

"Yes?" her head shot up and she prayed to God she wasn't blushing as much as she thought she was. He was holding a pen in his hand, the hand he had used in the video to get himself off. Oh God, Clara, don't think about that.

"You'll join me in the storage room after the meeting," he said, "Okay, everyone's all set with their tasks. I hope working under me will be a pleasant experience for all of you, and if not, my door is always open for complaints and suggestions."

Oh, now he was just toying with them. Working under him, pleasant experience. Yes, Clara would very much love to work under him and she knew it would be more than pleasant for both of them, but she doubted it was what he had meant.

But now he wanted to see her in the storage room. She hadn't listened to him saying who else would be joining them but as she made her way up to him Clara soon realized that she was the only one. Oh, fun times.

"You wanted to see me in the storage room?" Clara asked nervously, staring a point in the room somewhere behind him. She couldn't look him in the eyes, nor could she stare at his crotch, as much as she would have loved to. So it was either that or hoping the earth would swallow her.

The Doctor, uhm, John Smith led the way, leaving Clara with another nice view. Oh God, she had to get her fantasies of him under control somehow.

"What is it that you need me to do?" Clara asked, looking around the room.

"There's, uhm, Clara? I can call you Clara, yes?" he asked, "Could you maybe look at me while I'm trying to speak to you?"

She turned her head slowly, but as soon as she saw him she felt her cheeks flush immediately, so she looked away again.

"Are you okay?" he asked in his low, sexy voice.

Dammit, Clara, cut it out!

"Mh-mh," she squealed slightly and forced herself to look at him. It was going to be okay. He will think you're warm in this icy-cold storage room. He will believe that for sure.

"Anyway, there is a huuuuge delivery of sausages that has arrived this morning and I need you to. . ."

"Oh my God," Clara blurted out, cutting him off mid-sentence and turning away from him again. She immediately covered her face in her hands.

"Clara, are you sure you're alright?" he asked again and this time he sounded genuinely worried about her.

"I can't do this," she babbled, "I can't do this. I can't look at you."

"Why? What's wrong? Are you a vegetarian or what is it about the sausages that upsets you?"

"Don't say this word, please," Clara begged him, still hiding her face from view and wishing she had two more hands for her ears as well.

John Smith started to laugh. "Clara, I seriously have no idea what's happening right now."

"Butyoushouldbecauseyou'vebeeninapornmovieandI'vewatcheditandlikeditandnowIcan'tlookatyouwithoutthinkingaboutit."

The storage room suddenly grew very quiet.

"Oh," John Smith uttered after a while, "Wait, did you say you liked it?"

"Mh-mh," Clara nodded, still not looking at him.

"Liked it, how much?" he asked curiously.

Now Clara's head finally shot around, if only to glare at him angrily.

"That is absolutely not funny. You're my boss now and I've seen things and done things that I now wish I hadn't and, oh God, I just said that."

He continued to laugh. "Clara, if anyone should be embarrassed, it's me. I did it because I lost a bet to my best friend and now at least one of my employees has seen me naked."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," Clara said sheepishly, "It was good."

"So, er, would you want to. . . try it out some time?" he asked casually.

Clara's eyes widened. "Is this you asking me out?"

"Why beat about the bush? You've already seen me naked, you said you liked it, I think you're cute. So, what do you say?"

A huge smile spread on Clara's face. "Yeah. Let's do that."

"I hope I can keep up with your fantasy."

"Oh, I am almost certain you will."

"Good," he said with a smile, "But I do need you to sort the delivery of. . ." John Smith bent down to whisper into her ear, "Sausages."