Don't ask why, bronies were discussing depression. Don't ask how, a brony gave his opinion. I took his opinion and made it a story.
I don't support it. Not. One. Bit.
I could have made Rainbow Dash the depressed one but that would have been too easy, so give me some slack. Sweetie Belle serves as her consciousness, then each other of the mane6 is one argument of this opinion I read, so if they're OOC it's buckin' normal. Leaving Ponyville is a metaphor for suicide. Last thing, yes, I did take the occasion to address the whole season 3 finale thing here, because eh, hear my teeth gritting...
It's no big deal.
Why bother, it was Ponyville, the same Ponyville that was and would ever be. The day had stretched passed its summit, leaving the surroundings to blooming bushes at the first steps of houses, with ponies passing by, their manes more colors on the flowers vivid. It smelled fresh, of joy as of excitement, a few more with them treading on the wood of the train station platform. Their little talks filled the wait, covered the ticks of time at the clock round announcing the next train.
All four mares trotted together towards the whistles of the train, seeing it afar through the hills and plains, more its puffs of steam than the wagons themselves. And they knew that, in just a few minutes, they would see their friend again.
Fluttershy pressed back tried to see, took a glance over her friends and said: "She will have so many wonderful things to tell us!" Her shy voice was a bit lost among those of the group, and of ponies around. "Remember how excited she was?"
"Look, look!" Dash screamed. "I think I see her!"
"No ya don't" her brave friend turned to her, her coat rich like a harvest. "The train is too darn far!"
"What, you call me a liar?"
But the train at its approach roared, made its brakes hiss over all discussions and for seconds and seconds as the steam would flow along the railway all was covered by noise, until finally the little wagons halted. Doors opened, they were looking already at the windows wide for their gracious friend, her curled mane so preciously brushed and her eyes like treasures. They had guessed, she would be at the end, away from the locomotive and its uproar. And there she was, with just one luggage on her back, happy like them to meet with her friends.
They all greeted, they all hugged – that word again – and she pressed her cheek against Fluttershy's before complimenting on the shy pegasus's new coiffure. "But…" she was about to ask, surprised, a look at her usual lengthy pink mane when the three other mares pressed wondering how the exhibition went. It was in the royal gardens, it had the best artists of Equestria and the Princess herself, so they pressed around the gracious unicorn and she, with a hoof on her forefront, answered:
"Horrendous! It was horrendous!"
Then let a painful howl escape her and, with a glance to her friends reactions Rarity stressed how badly it went. Hardly anypony had come she said, dozens at best and the brave mare, whistling, said dozens wasn't bad. "But that's not hundreds, dear!" She lamented, and then, they weren't astounded, or amazed, she had only got some great and some beautiful and little words like that. And finally, the Princess hadn't come, too busy preparing the coronation.
"Oh yeah, that's right, did y-" Dash was about to ask when Pinkie cut her and jumping in front: "Did you see Twilight? Did you help with the preparations? Tell me all!"
"Twilight is fine" Rarity groaned, a bit annoyed. "Her exhibition wasn't a disaster!"
"Glad to hear it!" The pink fluffy mare rejoiced.
It was time to leave Canterlot behind she added, and those bad memories in favor of some fun. With a wide motion of her legs she invited all of her friends to Sugarcube Corner, and they would drink tea and fruit juice, and lemonade and drinks with bubbles because bubbles were funny she continued as they walked, and she hopped, there were so many flavor of fruits she wasn't sure with which one to begin, because it was important to find just the right taste for the sad taste on the tongue, when things didn't go as one wanted. Rarity slowed down and, chuckling, thanked her for the attention.
She thanked her less before the dozen glasses half empty, striped straws hanging on the side, and she couldn't tell if it was her belly or some sourness but she couldn't enjoy the moment. Before her on the same table her friends kept discussing about Twilight, and then on Dash's tricks for the next festival where she assured they would be amazed, stunned like never. "I wished it was true for me" the precious mare let go, slumped onto her side of the napkin with trembling eyes.
Well, she couldn't help if she was of a sensible nature she answered when Applejack, poking her, told her to cheer up. "It's just some show" she said, a few dresses and those ponies had no taste, so what, but her talented friend only let a sigh.
"Come on! It's not the first time some pony disapproved of your work!" Dash intervened.
"I know!" Rarity rubbed the napkin. "But this time is different…"
"How so?"
She couldn't tell. Her eyes pleaded that it was, and then, Pinkie Pie patted her back saying it was okay, to just cheer up. She would just need time and then, everything would be okay. And her joyous friend had such a smile, such an innocent face that it made the precious mare smile at her turn, pony up a bit and nod. She would show those ponies what true art was, she said provoking a roar of approval from her friends. She would do better Rarity promised and the others cheered again, then returned to their discussions.
This is the missing piece to the puzzle.
She had had the whole travel back from Canterlot, to convince herself of exactly that, and to smile to her friends.
When they left each others their words kept following her to her Boutique, and as the night had fallen she crossed the door into a room full of shadows, so familiar, where her work was displayed for the eyes. The mare didn't bring any light, not even a glow from her horn but trotted past those dresses so colored, so complex, engulfed in darkness. She only looked at a few mannequins as if they were intruders, laughed nervously at her foalish fears then went up the stair directly to the sewing machine.
In the morning when her little sister came in for a visit she could still hear the machine growling upstairs and the rest of the Boutique so silent. The little filly didn't mind, too excited to see her sister again. She went on the first floor, went on the door and knocked. Getting no answer she insisted, her tiny toe tapping the wood until the door opened on itself. The workshop was quiet, her sister asleep on the floor, head against a roll of tissue. The machine was working on nothing, without thread.
"Rarity?" The sister asked approaching the gracious unicorn. "Rarity!"
"Good morning Sweetie Belle…" Rarity mumbled for herself, as if in a dream before suddenly waking up and, rising in just a few seconds of scramble, heart pounding, looked around before finding the little brushed mane she so adored.
"Sweetie Belle!"
"I missed you big sister!" The filly embraced her, wanting to ask more but the precious mare was faster, and with her mane a bit undone:
"You arrive just in time! Watch! And behold my very last masterpiece! I worked the whole night on it!"
She showed her what the filly thought was first simply a mannequin, to realize there was some sort of cloth on it, which she would have hardly called even that. She grimaced, uneasy as Rarity asked her to be honest. "It's…" ugly was her first word, a patchwork at best done completely blindly. Luckily for her Opal had come into the room and, at the sight of this work, suddenly leapt on it to tear it down then flee as if against a wild beast.
"Yeah, that." Sweetie Belle concluded.
"I know!" Rarity suddenly burst in tears, and falling on the hooves of her little sister she had such a high pitch in her voice that her words barely made sense.
But in those words were, she couldn't do it anymore. Those dresses, those designs, the class, the refinement, all was escaping her like water between her hooves, like sand. All because of that exhibition and Sweetie finally understood what had happened, with shock, that little crowd with only slightly appreciative words. "It's horrible!" She screamed, pulling a little smile on Rarity's face. The little sister revolted was using all of her vocabulary to say how unfair it was, and the marvelous work her sister had done. "And they didn't see it?!" But it was something else.
If at least the crowd back then, Rarity tried to say, had been negative, had criticized her, she could have faced it. But they were simply, simply… she couldn't tell. "Indifferent." And now that she was looking at her dresses, they were just… dresses.
"How could they!" The filly screamed again, a bit too loud. "Oh, Rarity, you must be devastated!"
"It's okay" was the least convincing "it's okay" the broken voice of her sister could mutter, a ribbon on her hoof. She was trying so hard to look happy, to hold back her tears now, she seemed majestic. All she needed was time, to, just, be alone and she couldn't tell… "maybe" she ventured, maybe it was time for her to admit, she was not done for fashion. She didn't listen to the far cry of her sister, just added, she was envisioning leaving Ponyville.
Going away.
In the Everfree maybe.
"Wait, no!" Sweetie Belle shivered. "I don't want you to leave! You will get better! I will find your friends, they will help you and everything will be okay, okay?"
Rarity sighed, "okay" was such a terrible word, but she didn't really care anymore. "Do as you want" she let go, her eyes away at the mannequin and its mess of tissue reaped off.
Never had Sweetie Belle run so fast, towards the fields and by Macintosh, to find her friend. Applebloom was busy with grapes, stopped when she saw the sheer horror on the filly's face. "What's going on?!" She asked, heard that Rarity was about to leave Ponyville. They had to make haste, she would go find Scootaloo and they would get every friend her sister had go to the Boutique. With a crusader cross they went their way, Sweetie Belle inside the farm kitchen where the brave mare, her hat on the table near dishes, was busy opening a sack of flour.
"Applejack, you must help!" Sweetie Belle yelled so loudly that the mare let the sack fall and empty on her. "Rarity is despaired because of that stupid exhibition and now she wants to leave Ponyville!"
The mare rubbed her face, freckles visible again, took her hat: "That again?" She turned to the sink to wash, the filly behind her pressing her to act. "Now listen, sugarcube. Rarity is making a lot o' noise over nothing. Just tell her to forget it already."
"But she is going to leave Ponyville!"
"No she isn't." And the mare turned, tried to calm the filly. "Ya know your sister, in just an hour it will be forgotten. Ya should know that better than anyone."
"No!" She revolted. "This time she means it!"
"Well she's just overreacting over nothing. It's just some dress, tell her to go out or something!" She sounded almost irritated. "The world won't stop 'cause of some bows and frou-frou!"
Behind those words all the filly understood was, there was no reasoning with the cowmare. "It's not just some dresses!" She yelled, furious at her, and seeing she wouldn't come Sweetie Belle galloped away from the kitchen, stopped to yell some more to see the window close on her. She had thought, but what had she thought, for herself the filly muttered that maybe Applejack was right. Maybe her sister simply needed some time, and some other activity. Maybe it was just that, despite everything she was feeling right now.
Still, those feelings were stronger, and the young white filly ran, exhausted, down the hill to find Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, the fiery pegasus busy taming clouds who wanted to feel the breeze. She stopped only once among them, let a shriek go so loud that their teeth gritted and the mane and tail so many colored got ruffled.
"Rainbow Dash! My sister is desperate, she needs you right now!"
"Yeah, thanks but Scoot' already briefed me" the mare answered, busy brushing her tail somewhat back to normal.
"So you will come ?"
"Like I said, I can't help it if she's so weak."
Those exact words sunk into Sweetie Belle's precious eyes, froze her fast and she looked, panicked, for an answer but her friend seemed just as confused. The young pegasus had explained the whole thing, and yelled and begged and tried everything she knew. "She says it's up to your sister" the filly concluded, her muzzle skimming the grass.
"Exactly!" Dash confirmed, her mane turning untamed the moment she let it go. "Look, we spent the whole day comforting her. Enough is enough, now either she toughens up or just let her leave!"
"Just like that?!" Sweetie Belle was shaking.
"Eh, she is the one who doesn't want to fight the fight anymore, not me! It will be better for her, it will be better for me, it will be better for everypony!"
With that the fierce pegasus grinned at them, tapped their heads to give a bit of comfort then left and soared high in the sky, leaving the two fillies distressed. Scootaloo couldn't say one more word, couldn't even look at her friend but her eyes were telling all, and of the two she wasn't the most affected. The young unicorn had a hard time to breathe, was trying to just stand. She felt her friend hugging her, without a word, and she said, she wasn't done trying. She didn't care what they said, her sister wasn't weak, "she isn't!" She yelled, and then, "she isn't" she begged.
She felt the urge to see Rarity again, as if in the meantime her sister would disappear. The need to see her, to make sure it wasn't too late, the filly trotted, then ran, then trotted again as her legs were hurting. She scrambled through the door, reached the workshop empty, called for the unicorn. Where was she where was she where was she the filly panicked, went down and saw Fluttershy outside, on the street. With some strength she didn't know, some strength left Sweetie Belle trotted to the shy mare.
"Fluttershy! Please oh please tell me you will help Rarity!"
"Is she home?" The timid pegasus asked, her voice so kind, so concerned. She had come as soon as Applebloom had explained her of her friend's intentions.
"My sister is not in the Boutique anymore! She could be anywhere! She could be gone already!"
"Oh my" Fluttershy put her hoof before the muzzle, scared. "Your sister is so brave…"
"Brave?!" Something broke in the filly's heart. And yet: "How is she brave? She's hopeless!"
"I… I didn't mean to… but she is facing such a hard choice, and now… the decision she is about to make… it scares me how strong she is."
"I don't want to hear it!" Sweetie Belle screamed. "I don't want to listen! I just want my sister back!"
She ran, but anywhere, and Fluttershy behind her a bit confused asked, if she wasn't meant to help her find Rarity. Then, to wait for her and the creamy pegasus began to fly low to scan the surroundings. Ponyville was joyful, Ponyville was the usual quiet town it was and would ever be, with bushes blooming at the steps of doors. The filly was crying, at the crossing of two streets, and to ponies stopping by to ask what was going on she said, she was looking for her sister. She wasn't lost, her sister was, and seeing incomprehension she would keep running until the shy pegasus landed to tell her she had found the precious mare.
There she was, at the mill, painting a rock, around a dozen more rocks painted red. Her brush at her mouth was dripping paint as she rose to see them approach. She greeted them, with such a warm smile, caught the filly when sh jumped and clutched the neck of her sister tight. And Sweetie Belle couldn't help it, happy to see her, happy to see her happy, couldn't help but cry so many tears.
"I was so worried, Rarity! Please don't leave please don't!"
"It's okay" The unicorn answered. "I found a new occupation! See?" And she showed them the rocks painted red.
Fluttershy wasn't sure what to say, apart that those rocks were a bit scary, and maybe coloring them wasn't such a good idea. "Absurd!" Her friend retorted, so bluntly that it shook the shy pegasus. So she approached and said, she was still proud of the gracious mare, and she understood what she was going through. And, she added, it was okay with her, whatever choice she would do, the creamy mare would accept it.
The filly hadn't let go, still grasping the neck of her sister, listened to those words and her tears dried, her expression faltering. Fluttershy was trying to smile, and so was Rarity, the two of them joyous under the quiet work of the windmill. She listened as the pegasus complimented her friend for her strength, her resolve, and those tough choices. To be able to make such a hard decision, "I… I couldn't" she admitted. And so she was admirative.
"Thank you, Fluttershy." There was something like crystal in Rarity's voice. "Thank you for understanding."
"No!" The filly shrieked, hopped away and ran, to not listen anymore, to seek for help, for anypony, anything. She didn't want to listen, to reason, to any reason, she didn't care. It seemed so fine, everything telling her it was fine and now the doubt, she hated that doubt, she hated to think that she was wrong, that maybe, just maybe, it was what Rarity truly wanted. She refused to even think about it.
And there it was, the Golden Oak. She trotted to the library, out of breath, out of everything. She knocked on the door, begged to enter. She was holding her eyes close, holding her feelings. She knocked again, repeatedly, and the memory was coming, that Twilight was away, still at Canterlot at least for a day. But even then, even knowing that the filly kept hammering the door, until her legs failed her and she fell, and she curled up on the ground.
"There you are!"
It was the voice of Applebloom. The young unicorn opened her eyes, got up and jumping at her friend, pleaded for some good news. She explained, what had happened with Applejack, "no!" and then with Rainbow Dash, and then, then how Rarity wasn't there, and Fluttershy, and now… And her friend, at her turn, explained how, after meeting Scootaloo she had found Fluttershy at her cottage, then how she went to Pinkie Pie to explain the whole thing and convince her to come.
"I thought she would but…" Her voice lowered. "She said Rarity simply needed some distraction, and time…"
"A distraction…" Sweetie Belle was blowing air, her mind spinning. "She is painting rocks at the mill!"
"And then she said Rarity had to cheer up and not take things so seriously. I'm… not even sure she listened to me. I'm sorry Sweetie Belle."
Her head was ablaze, a fire, feverish. The young unicorn was trying to stand, felt the world running wild and suddenly she fainted, caught at the last second by her friend. She barely heard the scream of her name, woke up to find herself in her bed, her old beg at the Boutique. All was quiet, so quiet, but she felt no strength to even move. Her hind legs were raised, put on a few cushions. Then, she heard hooves, listened to them and then at the voice of her friend Scootaloo. "But she is okay, right? She will be okay?" And Applebloom added, she had to be, and their voices were so sad.
The door opened, she saw her sister enter followed by her two friends, and she had eyes only for Rarity. The gracious mare smiled when she saw her awake, approached and put a wet towel on her head, for an instant covering her eyes. She asked, "feeling better?" And the sister nodded, still weak. She was sorry, but it was nothing, and her two friends putting their hooves on the bed were asking her what had happened.
"I don't know. All turned… black, suddenly."
"I was so scared for you, it has been like ten minutes!" Applebloom scolded. "Don't do that to me again!"
"Like she said" Scootaloo followed, "although sugar syrup is tasty! Here!"
And she took the bottle, poured some on the spoon her young friend was holding, and they gave it to taste. It made the filly unicorn grimace, cough a bit then giggle. She was sorry to have scared them so much, and thanked them. "For what?" Nothing she said with a smile. Then, as it struck her she asked, where was Rarity. Her sister wasn't in the room anymore. She wanted to get up but her legs were still weak. Scootaloo told her she would see, left the room and came back just two dozens seconds later.
"She's packing!" She yelled.
"What?! She can't!" Applebloom trembled, tried to move only to feel her limbs numb. "Stop her!" And her friends look at each other, dismayed.
They couldn't do a thing.
When she felt all her efforts were void Sweetie Belle felt those tears again, those tears she had learnt to hate. She didn't want to cry, she wanted her sister. She called for her, hearing no answer and her friends tried to calm her. Again, Scootaloo went but came back, with nothing to do, and she kept saying "I'm sorry". She didn't want somepony sorry, she wanted her sister. Just her sister. Then hooves approached and Rarity entered the room.
She had two backpacks attached, almost half empty. She approached the bed and she was smiling, and Sweetie Belle's smile was so faint, so worried.
"I love you, Sweetie Belle, little sister!" Rarity hugged her tight, so tight, for as long as she could. Then, slowly, the sister let go, put the cushions back in place and said for her sister to take care. "I already told our parents. All will be fine, Sweetie Belle."
"No it won't! It's not!" But the filly's voice was broken, too faint. "Rarity, don't leave!"
"It's better that way. For all of us."
"You don't believe that! Not a second!"
She approached her muzzle, kissed Sweetie Belle's forefront and, with those eyes so sweet, pleaded for her to understand. And to be brave. She was certain that her little sister would become a wonderful mare.
"Don't leave!"
She was leaving.
"Don't leave!"
She had left.
The train whistled for a platform almost empty. It was late in the evening, the moon already raised over a shower of stars. Twilight touched the wooden platform, sighed of relief to find herself back in Ponyville. So was Spike, although asleep, he simply scratched her back and she took it as an approbation. In her wonderful dress the mare trotted through the quiet streets, of those bushes full of darkness, towards the library. She opened the door, got welcomed by the screams of her friends and many mares and stallions of Ponyville, all too happy to see her, to greet her for her return home.
"How nice of you!" She said, and then: "But where is Rarity?"