The Terrible Tea of D

So, everybody, welcome to my second try at an PSoH-fanfiction! Disclaimer's as usual, I don't own anything and am just borrowing them for a little after-work-fun (wait. Actually, make that an 'a lot of after-work-fun'. Because, compared to what I do all day long, which is mainly busying myself with lots of broken pottery, this is super-fun, even if I'm damn tired when I write it).

For those of you who don't approve of male-male relationships, go have fun elsewhere. I don't think I actually have to add 'for those of you who are under-age', because this will be pretty tame most of the time. I'm going to give a warning ahead of chapters that will be more explicit, but so far, I think anyone who's older than thirteen, maybe fourteen years, will have read much worse elsewhere… and ah, warnings for Leon's language. I'm sorry, but I just can't picture that guy not using any swearwords. So he's going to use them in this fic, too, and I'm afraid pretty often.

Enough babbling, let's get started with the real thing. I hope you'll enjoy what my wrecked brain thinks up during boring hours at the library, and if you have any comments, any at all, if you like it or hate it or think I should better give up writing for the rest of my life, please tell me so. I appreciate constructive criticism (emphasis on 'constructive').

So long, Enaty

Prologue

„Achoo! Achoo! A-choo!"

"Please, Count! Stop pretending you're healthy and get something for your flu!" T-chan pleaded, both exasperated and worried. The kami appeared behind a silken handkerchief, usually bright discoloured eyes dimmed by the sickness.

"Perhaps you are right, T-chan," he admitted hesitatingly. "But I don't understand – I've never been ill before…"

His voice trailed off, thoroughly confused. "There's a first time for everything," the totetsu snorted. "And now you are. So get to bed, I'll bring you some tea."

Grumpily he watched the Count disappear behind the curtains that led to the inner rooms of the pet shop, relieved that at last he seemed to listen to him. The last few days had been a constant ordeal to get D to bed before what had started as a simple cold turned into something much worse. Mulish as the Count was, he'd at first not even acknowledged that there was something wrong with him.

T-chan sighed and set out to prepare some herbal tea for his master while Pon-chan whirled around him, chattering. "Do you think he'll be all right soon?" she asked, also worried. Since the Count had been so insistent that he was healthy, they'd had some pretty bad days. He constantly tripped over something or started to sneeze when he was preparing food for them or had dizzy spells while he was treating a pet. In short, it had been a horrible week trying to prevent him from killing himself by accident. They still weren't sure how they had managed some of the nastier situations, but they didn't think too much about it. Important thing was, they were still alive. All of them.

"I do hope so," the totetsu answered his little friend and set up a kettle. Then he heard the bell that announced a visitor and swore. "Damn, we forgot to lock the shop! Pon-chan, keep the Count in the back, I'll see that he leaves immediately."

Storming out, T-chan missed her confused look. How should she keep the Count from the customer? Surely he'd already heard the bell and was on his way. He'd never let his sickness get in the way of business, as they'd painfully learned during the last week.

Sighing, she hopped off in search of the Count, hoping that perhaps they were lucky and he hadn't noticed the customer.

#

"Really, as if I was a child!" D grumbled and sat down on his bed heavily. Looking around his bedroom, he sighed again and slumped a little. Okay, so he wasn't feeling all that well, granted, but that was absolutely no reason for T-chan to boss him around like he was his master and not reverse!

"I should stop favouring him," D muttered and knew that he wouldn't. He liked the totetsu far too much, even if he felt miffed now. Leaning down on the bed, he put an arm over his aching eyes. Even the dim light in the pet shop hurt these days. Perhaps he really needed a break. Perhaps he'd really worked far too much lately. But what was he supposed to do? He needed the work. It kept him too busy to have a mind for other thoughts…

Was that the bell?

D sat up again, suddenly alert, and listened. His head swam dangerously and he groaned as he steadied himself with a hand on his bedpost. When he could see clearly again, he concentrated on the room in the front, but felt nothing. Still, he had to check. If there was a customer, he'd have to see to him, sickness or not.

Standing up, it took him another thirty seconds until he stopped swaying enough to make his way to the door. Carefully he walked through the dimly lit corridors, trying not to trip over something like he'd done so enthusiastically the last few days. Sometimes he even had to use the wall to keep himself upright. At a crossing, he stopped hesitatingly. Usually, he'd use the right corridor. It was much faster, but was also near pitch-black. Perhaps, in his current state, only not to worry the pets, he should take the longer, better lit way.

And so he did, missing Pon-chan only by thirty seconds, who'd taken his usual route.

#

Arriving in the kitchen, D noticed that the kettle stood on the hearth, water boiling, while T-chan was nowhere in sight. Had he not been so exhausted simply by walking here, he'd have called for the totetsu to read him the riot act. What if the kettle set the shop on fire by accident?

He peered into the front room, but could see no one there. Perhaps his ears had played a trick on him.

But as he was here now, he could as well prepare his tea himself. There was this special recipe, if he remembered right, that his grandfather had used to cure ill pets. If it was good for the pets, why not for him?

Walking like on egg-shells, D went over to his cupboard and opened it, taking the ingredients out. Then, without warning, his vision blurred again. Quickly D closed his eyes, trying to stay on his feet and grasped the small bottle without looking. With it in his hand and his other clenched around the doorframe, he waited until the dizziness ceased. Only then did he walk back to the kettle again and mixed the various herbs together, his head still a little fuzzy.

But he managed to prepare the tea. Satisfied he looked at the steaming liquid. So, T-chan, you still think that I'm not able to take care of myself? he triumphed silently. Then he heard the front door open and the totetsu enter. His steps were unmistakeable, only his claws made that special scratching sound on the carpets of the shop.

#

The totetsu was grinning contentedly, baring his sharp teeth. He just loved to scare humans, and this one had squealed particularly nice. But his grin faded when he faced the Count. "What are you doing here?" he nearly screamed. "You're ill! I told Pon-chan to keep you in bed!"

"Where is the customer?" D inquired icily, not even deigning to answer the totetsu.

T-chan visibly shrank back. "There – there was no customer," he stuttered uneasily, but the Count knew when he was being lied to.

"T-chan, I do not approve of you scaring my customers away." His voice was deadly silent. The guilty shrank even more.

"I – I am sorry, Count. But you're so ill and I – we – you shouldn't be disturbed by those humans!" he murmured.

D sent him another freezing glance, but then his face softened. His pets had just been worried. Though he didn't like it, he also couldn't hold it against them. "I have prepared tea, T-chan. Please pour me a cup and bring it to me," he ordered and sat down. The totetsu obeyed immediately, glad to escape his piercing gaze.

The kami sighed relieved when he disappeared behind the curtain and put his head into his hands. One moment more and he'd have had another dizzy spell.

Once T-chan had given him the cup, he sent him to his bedroom with the pot. He would drink one cup in the front, just one cup. And if no customer had shown up until then, he'd do what the pets wanted and go to bed. Perhaps he really needed rest and hopefully, one good night's sleep would take care of this annoying sickness.

He sipped his tea slowly, savouring the hot liquid's taste. But taking the third sip, he balked. What was that sweet taste behind the herbs…?

He took another sip and swirled it around in his mouth, trying to figure out what it was. He knew it wasn't supposed to taste sweet, though he certainly didn't mind…

Had he by accident put in a wrong ingredient?

Shocked, D tried to remember frantically what the little bottle had contained. He knew exactly what it should have contained. Why hadn't he checked if it was the right one? Which ones stood beside this and what would they do in this special mixture?

He was so busy thinking that he didn't notice the door opening and someone approaching. Gasping with shock, he finally identified the ingredient. Oh no! How could he have been so careless? He had to leave for his bedroom immediately before something bad happened…

A heavy hand was laid down on his shoulder. "Hey D, you bastard! I knew I'd find you!" a familiar voice said. Letting out a shrill shriek, the kami shot up and whirled round to face the one he hadn't wanted to see ever again.

"Detective!" he gasped and clenched the chair's back. "This really is a most unfortunate moment to visit me!"

Leon's eyes widened at these harsh words from the Count and his brows drew together. "Yeah, that's just like you fucking bastard!" he spat. "I travel around the whole world in search of you and all you've got to say to me is that I chose a bad time to visit? You know what? Fuck you!"

The room started to blur in front of D's eyes. He grasped the chair harder. "I did not mean to sound harsh, Detective. It is just…"

His voice trailed off as his eyes widened, too. A thought had occurred to him. This was Tokyo. Surely Leon hadn't been able to trace him to here. But that meant…

That meant the hallucinations had already begun.

And that was the Count's last clear thought before everything went fuzzy and funny.