A Debt I Can Never Repay

A lot of the people I know have lost someone dear to them at some point. That's hardly surprising, as my guild, Fairy Tail, has become known as something of a surrogate family for many who don't have one. But while many of them count themselves lucky for being still alive so they can rebuild their lives and forge new bonds, few have to live with the knowledge that they're alive because others died for them.

My parents died at the hands of the demon known as Deliora when I was young. The Ice-Make mage named Ur became my adoptive mother and teacher, taking me in alongside her other disciple, a boy named Lyon. I studied diligently under her, hoping to become strong enough to kill Deliora when we met again. Unfortunately, that opportunity arrived before I was able to make the most of it, and I rushed out. Ur could have left me to fight a battle that I could neither win nor survive, but instead, she stepped in, sacrificing herself to freeze Deliora in ice. Some would say that Deliora had killed Ur, or perhaps she'd killed herself, but the truth was that I had through my arrogance, recklessness and failure to consider what others would do for my sake.

I wasn't the only one who felt this way. Lyon and I hadn't exactly gotten along before, but he didn't truly hate me until Ur died, a tragedy he believed, with good reason, was largely my fault. I knew that he'd most likely never forgive me, but I owed it to Ur to do what I could to bring her back, so I set out to Fairy Tail to see if there was a way to reverse it. The master informed me that the only method for doing so would essentially result in Ur melting away, and removing the last vestiges of her life, potentially along with the seal on Deliora. It was difficult to accept this, but with the many friendships I made, the pain became more bearable, especially when we went to Galuna Island together to fight against Lyon and witness Deliora's final demise, giving me a measure of closure.

Years after Ur's death and months after the mission to Galuna Island, I took part in the S-Class exam for the first time. In what could only be called a twist of fate, I met Ur's daughter, Ultear. Ultear and I were enemies at first, but not because of the fact that I was responsible for her mother's death. Ultear mistakenly believed that Ur had abandoned her, and so hated her own mother for many years, not knowing that Ur had been heartbroken by the loss of her daughter and died without learning the truth. Ultear sought to manipulate me into killing Hades, but after I defeated her, she came to her senses, and she became an ally of our guild. She believed she'd committed crimes she could never atone for, but she had to do what she could to repay her debts, a sentiment that resonated with me.

During a heated battle against seven dragons after the Grand Magic Games, I had a vision of my own death, and acting on it, suddenly moved to save myself and protect Juvia, a fellow member of Fairy Tail. I didn't realize until later that my demise had already happened- or would have happened, had Ultear not rewound time for a minute. She undid my death, as well as possibly countless others, but essentially lost her life in the process- I caught a glimpse of her as an old woman, who likely had no more than a few years left to live. I didn't imagine that Ultear had made that sacrifice for my sake, but the truth was that once again, I was alive because someone else had sacrificed her life.

And then there's Juvia. She had always been infatuated with me ever since we fought against each other during the war against Phantom Lord, and her feelings were something that took me a long time to understand. While I did sometimes find that annoying, we valued each other in our own ways, and saved each other's lives on several occasions. She was determined that no harm would come to me, and I felt the same way towards her. Even when we faced the Albareth Empire, a force so powerful that our master had disbanded the guild and spent a year negotiating in the slim hope of preventing a battle that seemed impossible to win, we still believed we could continue to protect one another.

Unfortunately, when we went up against Invel, one of the Spriggan Twelve, he put us in a situation where we would have to fight to the death. He'd taken an interest in my Ice Devil Slayer power since I started to give him trouble(although if I had my way, he'd have lost by this point), and it was clear that, for one reason or another, he wouldn't be satisfied until he awakened it. To that end, he evidently wanted me to kill someone dear to me, and while I'd made it clear that I had no desire to do so, the spell didn't give us any choice in the matter.

When the opportunity presented itself, I stabbed myself in the chest, only to find that Juvia had also done so, knowing she was doomed to lose and not wanting her blood on my hands any more than she wanted mine on hers. Juvia had done something like that once before, during the Battle of Fairy Tail shortly after she had joined, so that she could allow Cana to escape from Fried's jutsu-shiki. Back then, not everyone trusted her, an ex-Phantom Lord member, but she refused to harm those she considered friends, and the same was true here. This time, however, both of us were fatally wounded... until Juvia used the last of her strength to give me a life-saving blood transfusion, saving me from my self-inflicted wound. In my haste to throw my own life away, albeit to save someone rather than avenge the fallen, I'd failed to consider how Juvia valued my life more than hers, and thus made the same mistake that cost Ur her life.

As Juvia's body went cold and still in my hands, I realized I was experiencing the outcome I had least wanted to happen, the outcome that evil bastard had sought to achieve when he cast the Ice Lock spell on us, and the outcome I had never wanted to happen again. I'd become much stronger since I faced Deliora, but it still wasn't enough to defeat Invel on my own or even save Juvia, and so I couldn't forgive myself.

Of course, I couldn't forgive Invel, either, and so I set out to defeat him- but not to avenge Juvia or in the vain hope of bringing her back. I wanted to ensure that no one else would suffer at his hands, and that once Invel, E.N.D. and Zeref were defeated, peace would return to Ishgar and the surviving members of Fairy Tail. Perhaps doing so wouldn't ease the sense of loss I felt, but it would be the first step in proving that the life that Ur, Ultear and Juvia had extended at the cost of prematurely ending their own had worth. I owe those three my life, and that may be a debt I can never repay, but at the very least, I can do everything in my power to ensure that wherever they are, they do not regret their final acts.

Author's Notes

Thank you for reading this fic.

This fic essentially shows how Gray takes Juvia's sacrifice. One reason I'm hoping that Juvia survives, no matter how improbable the plot twist required is, is that if she dies, it'll be one more sacrifice Gray has on his conscience.

As for E.N.D., I currently can only imagine how Gray will react when he learns that Natsu is E.N.D., although given how much of a goal killing E.N.D. has been for him since he faced his father, he'll probably end up fighting Natsu.

I may revise this or add additional chapters depending on how things play out in canon, so stay tuned.