Dora,

We both knew I had to go… I need to help Harry, for the better, I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt Teddy or You, I'm just trying to do what's right

With Sincere Apologies

Remus

I can't believe he's gone. I haven't been myself for a month now, at first I was in denial, going to work to pay some extra bills, but as of last night I signed my contract for a longer stay. Remus isn't coming back, because he doesn't love me. I feel a cold air seize me as I curl up on my bed. Teddy is ruthless tonight, screaming and screaming- he wants his dad, but I'm the only one here. I want to plug my ears, but I find it better to let the screams sink in. He keeps me in the moment, and he makes it so I can't do anything stupid. Teddy screams louder as I slowly get out of bed pulling on a work shirt of Remus'. Sleeping in his clothes makes me feel as if he never left; and what's the point? He's not coming back to claim them. I am about to leave the room when I hear something strange, silence. I pick up my wand now too awake for comfort. For one month, Teddy has not been silent, and I can only prepare myself for the worst. I walk down the hall in silence before I reach the bedroom, looking inside to see a hunched over figure looming over Teddy. I'm about to jinx when I see through the bars of the crib Teddy's appearance changing. His hair is first a pink, a blue, then a caramel brown. His face is adopting suddenly a scar over his left eyebrow. What is Teddy trying to tell me? I see Teddy now bouncing, crawling over to the side of his crib, standing up on his two little plump legs, he looks at me, his hair turning a bright pink he's laughing now. He is jumping up and down and the figure now picks him up silently and cradles him, his head against his shoulder rocking back and forth.

"Daddy" Teddy whispers, his hair finally resting into a caramel brown. I'm now crying because not only has Teddy spoken his first words, Remus Lupin is holding my child. I suddenly lose all appetite, and I walk out of the room before he can notice me. I pull on a pair of loose torn jeans and go downstairs, broom in hand. I try my hardest to be graceful, miraculously not tripping over anything. My hand on the doorway and I hear a voice behind me

"Nymphadora"

"Professor Lupin" I say, closing the door, but still not facing him. I hear long heavy footsteps as he walks towards me.

"Dora"

I find myself stepping away from him, my hand now on the door knob. I feel a strong hand on my shoulder as he turns me around

"I was just going out for…" I look up at him to see him crying "Milk"

"Dora" He says again

"You left!" I say angrily "You have no right to cry!"

"And I came back"

"You left your wife, your job, your child, your friends, you home your" As I continue to list more, all he does is bite back in silence, like Remus always does, "I deserve to be out for awhile. I'm going to go get a drink" I say my hand firmly on the door knob, trying to open the door

"Why won't it open?"

"Because I can't let you leave" Remus says his eyes that are now bloodshot on mine. "I've spent too long without you, and I can't let you go anymore"

"So what I'm supposed to wave this?"

"No" He says "I understand if your angry and I'm giving you the chance now to hex me or jinx me or curse me or anything you'd like" He stands back taking off his jacket and even unbuttons some of his shirt. He's more ragged then I remember and he's tired, but he stands there determined. I look at him, shocked and honestly perplexed. Some part of me honestly wanted to hurt this man, and another part knew that by doing so, it would feed to the 'Remus is not a human, but a monster' fund, like everyone else. He's looking at me, his hands behind his back, eyes closed. I walk up straight in front of him and take his hand in mine. It's cold and dry, it feels oddly cooling and comforting on my skin. I don't ask for permission but gently kiss each of his fingers separately before holding his hand in mine, doing the same with the next hand. I look up at him then to see him crying once more, a ghost of smile on his lips. He's not looking at me but at my hands.

"I'm sorry" I say before dropping his hands "But I can't hurt you". Again without asking permission I stand up on tippy toes and kiss his lips softly. "I love you too bloody much"

Remus puts his arms around me suddenly holding me close to him, and I feel him sniffing my hair, his warm nose in my hair, in my ear, sniffing my neck and I laugh light heartedly. "Remus what are you…" His lips start down on my neck, kissing me lightly traveling up my jawline eventually landing on my lips, his kisses by then were hungry and nothing like Remus usually, but I was anything but complaining, I respond enthusiastically my hands messing up his always calm hair, and I feel my hair turn an electric pink. Remus doesn't stop kissing me as he leads me to the stairs, his hands still on my waist, trying to kiss on the stairs I find myself tripping falling down only to feel the securing cool hands on my waist

"Nymphdora. That wasn't fair" He says out of breath, tear stains still on his face, but now accompanied by a goofy smile

"Well. I figured you beat yourself up too much, and now this is punishment enough"

"What punishment?"

"Your stuck with me forever" I say my hands crawling up his shirt

"Tonks" He says his eyes rolling back into his head "That isn't punishment"

"mmhmm" I say holding him close to me

"Dora" He said a firm hand on my chin causing me to look up into his eyes " I don't ever want to spend another day without seeing you"

"I …. " I look down "if there comes a day when you don't want me, I don't want you to feel trapped Remus, I want you to feel happy"

"I'm happy here" He says

"I can't believe that" I say, noticing my hair turning a mousy brown at the end

"Dora" He says intimately "I love you"

"Remus" I say, tears in my eyes "You don't have to, I'm a big mess up, I can't control myself, I'm emotional, and I Don't Deserve You"

"Dora" He says, both of us in tears "No…No..No" For the second time in the evening he doesn't ask permission as he holds me close to him kissing my hair. Both of us are a mess. He's holding my hand silently as he leads me to my kitchen, our kitchen. He pulls down a jar of hot chocolate and within minutes were on the couch, a blanket thrown over us. I find myself on his lap not letting him stand up my arms around his neck my fingers running through his hair as he's kissing the insides of my wrists. He's even licking my fingers and kissing any part of me that's available to him. "Dora, I love you" He says in between each kiss. His arms around my waist are possessive and encaging, I love it. Eventually I grow tired and curl up into him, my head fitting perfectly under the crook of his neck. We eventually fall asleep, both holding eachother possessively, as if that night was our last.