Title: What Doesn't Kill You (Makes You Stronger)
Rating: M (for violence and possible sex scenes later on)
Summary: Syed's in an abusive relationship, but will a stranger be able to give him the strength to fight for himself and his freedom?
Disclaimer: I don't own Christian or Syed. All recognisable characters are property of EastEnders and the BBC.
OK, please don't hate me for doing this to Syed! The idea just came to me and I thought I'd try it out. I don't know if anyone's tried this before, but let's just see where my mind takes me...
Syed Masood was a confident business man, a successful, top estate agent, in a wondeful, committed relationship with another gay Muslim man. His life was perfect. He had the big house, the flash cars, went all around the world on expensive, five star holidays. His life was absolutely perfect. On the outside. On the inside, Syed was a shell of the man he used to be. The physical scars and bruises would fade, but it was the mental scars which would stay with him until the end of time. Usually, the bruises were easy to hide; his blows being dealt mostly to his body rather than his face, but this time, there was one perfectly formed black eye starting to ghost on his face. That would be harder to hide. There was only so many times the excuse 'walked into a door' could be used and could still be believed. He had thought about going to see the Imam, but their relationship was still strained ever since he had come out all those years ago. His family were still a no-go, although Tamwar was just starting to come around to the idea of his big brother being gay. This would probably do nothing more than scare him off again. His workmates were also just that; workmates. People who couldn't care less about him when he wasn't in his place of work, his personal life was nothing to them. No, it was less than nothing. It just never came up. So Syed had no choice other than to put on his mask for the outside world and pretend that he couldn't be happier. He'd have to go into work and make up some excuse for his injuries and put on his best smile and continue as normal.
When Syed had first come out as gay, his parents and siblings had shunned him. Where he had once been the 'golden boy', the one they thought would go on to achieve great things, he was now an outcast. His parents would cross the street rather than acknowledge his presence in public, and the people in his community he had once considered his friends now shunned him at Mosque. It would have all been easier to pretend, of course. To live a lie like everyone wanted him to, to pretend that he was straight. To get married, have children, take over the family business. That was the proper thing to do. But it wasn't the right thing to do. He'd tried to live a lie, and it hadn't worked. He'd had one night stands, allowed himself to be taken home by drunk men who knew no better, just to get a release, but he'd been kidding himself. He couldn't pretend anymore, even if it meant that his family, his community and even Allah himself were going to disown him.
He'd met Kaden shortly after coming out, and was comforted to know that he'd gone through the exact same things as he was going through, but that he had won back the love of his family, and even some members of his community, given a little time. It had given Syed hope that, with Kaden's help, he was going to be able to do the same. And so he had jumped in feet first, not really even sure if the attraction was physical, or if he was just looking for companionship, no matter who it came from. Even Kaden's name itself was promising; with the meaning of 'friend, companion, confidant', Syed was sure that this was a sign from Allah that it was OK to be gay; that this person who had come into his life was going to show him the way back to his family and back to his community. Even though Kaden was a more relaxed Muslim, who drank and rarely observed, he was sure that this was going to work. He was going to make it work.
Syed had been with Kaden for a year the first time he'd hit him. Kaden had been out drinking with his friends and Syed had been sleeping when Kaden had returned home. Kaden had woken him, demanding sex from Syed in the early hours of the morning. When Syed had refused him and attempted to sleep again, Kaden had hit him in the stomach. He had immediately apologised, and had begged Syed to forgive him, saying that he was drunk and that he hadn't meant anything my it. Syed's first instinct had been to flee, to tell Kaden that it was over, and to tell him to get the hell out of his house. But the softer side of Syed's nature had prevailed, and he had forgiven him, accepting his excuses and believing him when he said that it would never happen again. Plus, Kaden was the only person from his whole community who had accepted him as he was, no questions asked. He was the only person he'd met who'd gone through the same things that he had. He was the only person in the whole world who understood him, who ever would understand him. And so, against his better judgement, he stayed.
But it had happened again a few weeks ago. They had been out to celebrate their two year anniversary, and Kaden had been drinking again. Syed had said something insignificant to him as a small joke, but Kaden had taken it the wrong way and Syed had once again been on the receiving end of his punches. Almost every night ever since, Kaden had come home drunk and had started beating him. At first, it was only the odd slap or punch, but he'd been getting more violent as the weeks had passed. Syed didn't know what to do, he knew that there wasn't anywhere else he could turn to; his family and community would reject him before he even told them anything, and if he changed the locks, he knew that Kaden would just break his way into the house and would punish him even worse for trying to leave him. Syed was stuck in a rut, and he didn't know how he was going to get out of this alive. He had thought about running, but this was his house, and even if he did leave, he knew that Kaden would track him down eventually, and he couldn't go back to a life where he was looking over his shoulder every day, scared of what was about to catch up with him.
Syed looked into the mirror in the hallway, strategically placing his hair so that it covered the majority of his bruises. A lone tear fell down his cheek as he closed the front door behind him and made his way into work, fixing his mask firmly into place.
Hope this wasn't too horrible!