Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam Seed franchise or its character.
Author's note: This fic is a series of character-study type drabbles. It's based on my interpretation of what COULD have happened after GSD. This fic is slighly AU because my take on the characters and the SEED universe as whole is slightly darker than the cannon. But I hope you can enjoy this anyways!
Chapter 1: Kira
Four years ago, Kira Yamato was a confused teenager, harboring far too much guilt and shouldering far too much responsibility for his emotional and psychological capacity. His true misfortune was the fact that no challenge seemed too great to overcome for his physical skills and mental acumen, and that hasn't changed.
Today, at merely twenty years old, Kira Yamato is one of the highest ranking officers in ZAFT. The responsibility that came with his position, his reputation, and his relationship with Lacus Clyne only increased over time, much like how his responsibility toward the Archangel and the Earth Alliance just kept increasing back during the First War when he piloted the Strike. But he no longer has the luxury of being able to unleash those stress through emotional breakdowns, or hiding out in his cockpit or his room. He lives in scrutiny of literally everyone. Those who follow the popular media kept a watchful eye out for Lacus Clyne's significant other. At the other end of the spectrum, security agents of ZAFT keep a watchful eye out for every move of this top-ranking commander of ZAFT, for his safety if nothing else.
Somehow, Kira is now able to deal with that kind of responsibility and pressure. Murrue would know because she could no longer see the pain, fatigue, anguish, and lament that were once so evident in his violent eyes. What truly saddens her is the fact that she sees nothing else in them either nowadays. Whereas those eyes once filled with courage and strength during endeavors such as these, they are now empty and soulless, like blackholes simply taking everything. He is reacting, but no longer acting, because he tied down far too firmly to be able to initiate an action.
Deep inside, Murrue is scared as well. She has no idea what now guides Kira's sense of justice and ethics. He has denied his own emotions, beliefs, and personal limitations to guide him in his actions. So what's left?
As for the external influences, the only scripted move for a true military man is simply to fight as ordered. And that is not the Kira she knew.
END
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