THIS IS CHAPTER ONE OF PART 2 I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I DON'T OWN ANY ZELDA AND BLAH BLAH BLAHY MCBLAH BLAH...
BLAH
"Link…Wake up"
"Zzzzzzzz"
"I SAID WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!"
"?"
Link was so tired and…tall…
"What the-?"
"Link, It is time."
"Who the hell are you?
"None of your business."
"Um…why am I tall and how did I get pants and why are my ears pierced and where's Saria?"
"The earrings represent the fact that you are the hero of time and Saria is in the other room playing Nintendo Wii."
"You didn't explain the pants and the fact that I'm taller."
"Yes I did."
"…"
"I did say you were the hero of time!"
"What in the hell does that have to do with pants and gaining height?"
"When you first picked up the master sword, you were too young so we hit you in the head with a magical baseball bat that makes you sleep for seven years…but your head exploded so we called a fairy named Fred to heal you but as you grew your clothes exploded so we had to buy you new ones. But, they didn't have any jeans so we got Fred to sew you some white pants and I slipped them on to you."
"Did Saria grow up too?"
"Surprisingly…yes"
"Wait…how did we grow up? Aren't we kokiri?"
"BYE!"
And with that, Link, Saria and Navi were teleported to the lost woods in front of the forest temple.
"So Navi…You been asleep for seven years too?"
"No."
"Wow, you must've been bored."
"You have no idea…"
Link turned around to see that Saria had become more "developed" then she was when she was ten.
"HOLY SHIT" He screamed
"What's up?" she said in a seducing tone
"Um…there was a skulltulla on my foot…ya…"
"Whatever you say."
"Hahahahaha she'll never expect that I am madly attracted to her mwahahahahahah" Link screamed out loud
"..." Replied Saria
"Um guys..." Said Navi "It appears as though we need some kind of hookshot to get up to the entrance."
Meanwhile a certain dead gravekeeper was looking at his hookshot in disgust.
"I hate this thing! All it did was poke my eye out and killed all intruders! SCREW YOU HOOKSHOT!"
So he threw it and it hit an owl named Kae-Gae in the head. He caught it and flew around with it untill he was above Kokiri villiage. he accidently dropped it and It was picked up by a Kokiri named Mido. Mido killed himself with it and his friends called Fred to help. Fred took the hookshot and heard Navi yelling for him. he flew over to them to find out Link's head had exploded because he tried to use Navi for a hookshot but Navi used magic on him. Fred gave them the hookshot and the problem was solved.
"What a coincidental chain of events"
"Yep."
"So...Anyone know how to use this thing?"
"No."
"Ah...Damn. Hey wait...there's a trigger!"
"Kay...shoot it!"
Link shot the hookshot...to his face and caused his head to explode.
"Holy crap, it's been how long?" asked Navi
"Three minutes" Replied Saria
Link had finally used the hookshot after calling Fred and was in the forest temple.
"Ok, we're in here...but why?"