Disclaimers: Do not read if you don't like slash- or unrequited love. These characters belong to the fabulous, unmatched, Bill Shakespeare. I only wish they belonged to me.

Hamlet: I am glad to see you well.

Horatio- or do I forget myself!

No, he hadn't forgot himself. And I saw the look in his eyes, his eyes that were so manic when addressing his mother. And now were so calm. I saw his eyes that hurt deep. And I wanted to help him, I wanted to save him- I wanted to kiss him. Staring at him, I don't know what possesses me. I know the dark side of Hamlet, better then his foolish schoolboy friends, better then even that girl that is trying to make him love her, better then even his father did. I have seen him drunk, I have seen him cry, I have seen him angry, mirthful, and horny, anything he has done I have seen him do.

And yet I still love him.

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Hamlet: Hold off your hands

It was right then that I realized the truth. He would never be mine, as I am his. He would never acknowledge my love. He would never love any but himself and his own foolish desires.

Oh God, I know now that it is pointless to try.

But try I will.

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Hamlet: No, you will reveal it.

People often ask me now if I knew before what was going to happen. Of course I knew. I knew the second he came out of that forest. I knew what he was going to ask me to do, I knew that he would lose himself in his fake insanity. The only thing I didn't know was exactly how much of that fake insanity was real. It hurt that he couldn't trust me. It hurt that I couldn't console him. But I knew it already, he doesn't like guys. Right?

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Hamlet: There is a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come.

He wanted to die. The love of my life, the only man OR women that I have ever honestly wanted to be with every second of my day, the single person I knew deep down, he wanted to die. And like the idiot that I am, I didn't stop him. I just sat there, and let him go to his death thinking that he was going to die misunderstood.

I sat there and let him go.

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Hamlet: O, I die, Horatio!

There ends my life, my love, and my future. He wouldn't have loved me back, but I could have at least eased his suffering. I never needed to be loved back. All I needed was him.