Ashley
Heard this song by Escape the fate and I HAD to write this… Andy Beirsack and Ashley Purdy pairing…
Shadows fall on yesterday,
its like time just slips away.
Andy Beirsack sat with his head between his knees outside his trailer. It was July and it was hot, as an understatement. He could hear the music from the ETF party trailer by him. Craig wasn't kidding when he said he liked to rock. Andy groaned. He should not have spent yesterday partying with him and Asking Alexandra and who knows all else. He shook his head and looked up squinting in the bright sunshine. He shook his head and leaned against the hot metal of the trailer. He knew very well why he had been there. Ashley had brought another girl back last night. He had just wanted to forget the sight of Ashley and that girl. All the memories of Ashley, as amazing as he was, seemed to be crowded in darkness of pain. It didn't seem like to long ago that they had been able to just hang out and now… it didn't work. Andy cursed himself.
I'm nothing, darkness follows me.
The dawn, it never shows its head.
Andy got up and moved into the trailer it was maybe 2 degrees cooler inside. Andy glowered ahead of him as he headed for the refrigerator and prayed that there would be something cold to drink. Once he had found the pop he was looking for he leaned back against the small counter and started to open the can. He leaned his head back. They had a concert today. Andy was really not looking forward to it at all. It was hot on stage in cool weather and in this it was a nightmare. He groaned and brought the class to his lips even as he heard a girl's voice farther in the trailer.
"Ashley," that was all he needed to hear. His hand tightened on the can and it crumpled coating him in sticky fluid.
"Son of a mother-fucking," Andy started as Ashley came into the 'room' looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
I'm left dying here instead with nothing,
a lock without a key.
"That can isn't made of steel dude," Ashley said laughing as he looked at Andy.
"Thanks for the advice," Andy snapped instantly regretting it. It wasn't Ashley's fault Andy was in love with him.
"Someone has a hangover," Jinxx said coming into the room. He like the other boys was dressed only in a pair of pants, it was simply to hot to wear shirts.
"Andy you weren't drinking again were you?" Ashley demanded eyes sharp. He would never admit it but he hated it when Andy was being stupid he was such a clear headed, goal oriented, guy it made him stick out from all the other rockers around him.
"Yea, I was," Andy said defiantly glaring at Ashley. They stared at each other Jinxx stepped out of the room. He shook his head it seemed to him only Ashley and Andy were oblivious to the sexual tension they ALWAYS exuded around each other. He, along with CC and Jake, wished they would just get it out in the open. Ashley and Andy stood there eyes locked. For a moment Andy thought of saying something then stuffed it away brutally he wouldn't break up the band like that. He felt yet another piece of his heart seem to break as Ashley turned and walked away.
Like the brightest star you shine through.
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
I've got purpose once again.
Andy went to the sink and scrubbed the pop off of his chest. He barely paid any attention to what he was doing. His mind was thinking of Ashley, not in the last angry moment. Not even in the many, many moments they had had just like it but him on stage, him laughing, him singing, him with fans. He straightened up after a minute and strode off. He had a concert to give and he couldn't let the band down but first he had someone to talk to.
Yeah, yeah.
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
(I've got purpose once again.)
"Hey dude," Matt said. He was sitting in a bit of shade outside the D.R.U.G.S. trailer.
"Hey," Andy said. He settled beside Matt. He had no idea what he would do without his best friend. He was the only one he could confess to about the way he felt about Ashley. He also knew that if he didn't talk about it he was liable to explode or do something really stupid like kiss Ash.
"You had another run in with Ashley didn't you?" Matt said his face sympathetic.
"It seems like whenever we are together we blow up, it's like we can't be friends anymore." Andy said. He groaned. He hated that because he loved Ash and he would rather have him as a friend than nothing but it seemed that they were heading toward nothing. He only ever felt like he could keep going when he knew Ash was going to be there but it also seemed like he was ripping their relationship apart.
If looks could kill you'd be the one,
that takes my world and makes me numb.
Ashley saw the girl out and lay on his bunk with his face in the pillow. He had pissed Andy off, again. He couldn't believe his luck. It seemed that every single time he saw Andy, Andy was sexier and more out of reach. He groaned into the pillow. He didn't want to think about the fact that he couldn't think of anything but Andy. Even when he was with a girl as pretty as, Marie or Mary or whatever her name was, he couldn't focus on her. Nothing really mattered other than Andy to him. It was ridiculous he couldn't function like this much longer. It wasn't like he could tell Andy. Andy was a god of rock and roll who didn't need some lame bassists feelings to pull him down or smash his dream band. Ashley sat up and pushed the pillow, the world seemed to be falling apart around him.
I'm nothing, without you i can't breathe.
(I can't breathe.)
Andy left Matt with just enough time to get back and get ready. He didn't want to leave to much time to stir up shit with Ash. He was also so eager, far to eager, to see Ash. He hadn't been away from more than an hour and already he was going through withdraw. He was worse than fucked. Andy groaned and pushed himself through the steps of getting ready glancing at Ash when he knew the boy wouldn't be looking. He felt like he was stealing breaths of air and he was underwater…
And as the sunlight burns the sky,
I see through my obsessive eyes.
Ash looked at Andy as Andy got ready to mount the stage. He had decided to go without a shirt as had most of the band. It was just to hot. Ash started up his bass but he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Andy. The way he moved, the way his voice sounded, all of it was so distracting. The shirtless thing didn't really help Ash's concentration at all.
I'm nothing, without you i can't see.
Like the brightest star you shine through.
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
Andy tried not to look at Ashley's shirtless body. It was hard, very hard. Ashley was like a rock god where he stood. Andy felt so alive. He always felt alive on stage but now he felt exhilarated. He found himself back to back with Ash. He felt his heart speed up. Was it his imagination or was Ash's heart pounding to? It had to be his imagination. He stepped away feeling like he was on top of the world…
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
After the concert the band was in mass in the trailer. None of us were really sure why but that concert had kicked major ass. There was yelling, music, cigarettes, and maybe a little beer. Who knew that five people could party so hard? Ashley and Andy found themselves in a corner together watching Jinxx and Jake battle it out for best guitarist. CC was shouting a commentary. Andy was really surprised nobody from the other bands was trying to get in on the party. Andy looked into his glass and sideways at Ash. To his shock Ash was looking at him. The minute their eyes met both boys looked at Jinxx and Jake as if they were the most interesting things on the planet.
You're the strength i need to fight,
You're the reason i still try.
I'm the moth and you're the light
Andy felt words in his mouth that he wanted to say so badly he could barely stand it. He had no idea that Ashley was fighting the same feeling. They also had no idea that the rest of the band had cornered them on purpose. Andy tried not to look at Ash because the words would fly from his mouth in an instant if he did. It seemed odd to him that in this Ashley took away his self-control. Ash was always a pillar of strength. Without Ash Andy knew he long ago would have been lost in the mire of public pitfalls. Ash reminded him of everything he believed in. Ash was the zenith of everything that Andy believed in. He always reminded Andy to fight and to never give in.
Use these wings so i can fly,
I can fly.
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
Ashely fought back the words that seemed to choke his throat. He was 27 he had been in love many times but it had never seemed to be like this: a choking, obsessive, necessity. When he was around Andy he felt that he could do anything. He felt invincible. He only ever felt alive around Andy. He wanted more than anything in that moment to reach out and let his fingers run across Andy's face. To feel his silk like skin. It didn't bother him that Andy was soaked in sweat and caked in makeup.
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
Think they'll figure it out?" Jinxx whispered to Jake. Jake shrugged he knew that the pair in the corner was far beyond noticing what exactly was going on in front of them. Both men laughed softly. Every knew that Ashley and Andy were in love with each other, everyone but Ashley and Andy that is…
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
Suddenly Ash felt something in his mind change. He looked at Andy. The boy's face was clenched and tight, did he find being by Ash so distasteful? Ash shook his head he couldn't stand it anymore. He HAD to tell Andy.
"Andy?"
"Ashley?" Ashley almost blinked no one in the band ever called him Ashley it was always just Ash.
"There's something I have to tell you," Andy's head whipped around faster than Ash would have thought possible without whiplash. Neither boy noticed the room emptying.
"What is it?" Andy's brilliant eyes seemed to shine bluer than ever as he looked at Ashley.
"I love you," Ashley said the words and could barely believe it. He had never said them before, not to any one but his parents at least. He was a party boy. He hadn't found love for more than a night since his early teenage years. His heart pounded with fear that Andy would reject him as some had all those years ago.
"Oh God Ashes," Andy said and Ashley flinched, "I love you too!"
Ashley, baby, you make me feel so alive.
I've got purpose once again.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Neither boy was really sure who kissed who but in the next instant they were locked together. Andy bit Ashley's lower lip and Ashley opened his mouth. Andy shivered at the feeling of Ashley's strong arms right around him. After a while they broke apart trying to find enough air. Andy looked at Ashley his blue eyes burning… he had never felt so alive. Then like the Puma Matt had called him out to be he tackled Ashes to the floor.
I've got purpose once again.
I've got purpose once again.
It was about concert time. The band was back stage. Ashley had reached over and captured Andy in an embrace. Their lips were locked for a long moment before they realized the whole band was staring. Andy wasn't ashamed enough to turn red…
"About damn time," was all CC said.